Bragging

[one...two...tree 2,762]

As it was said before, if you work hard, you're allowed to be elated and tell your friends about it, even if they got Cs. If they can't handle that you're happy that your hard work paid off, then they fall under the category of people who criticise others for bragging simply because they're envious or dissatisfied with their own performance. It's narcissistic to discount or dismiss the idea of letting other people express joy over their achievements simply because they did better than you.

Again, I totally disagree. And I think it's narcissistic to assume that others are jealous of you because they are put off by your bragging.

I'd be put off by someone bragging about something, even if I have the same thing or something "better". How can that be jealousy?

You think you're "allowed to be elated and tell your friends about it". I think it's in poor taste. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

Why do you hate America?

[panamania79 2]

Proverbs 16:18: "Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall."

OMG,did you see that movie ?

Here are some others that would apply to my work buddies: sloth,gluttony,lust,and greed.

what movie?

Seven.Starring Morgan Freeman,Brad Pitt,and Gweneth Paltrow.

[panamania79 2]

It's so personal what "bragging" constitutes, it's really difficult to say. Some people will consider even the slightest mention of personal fortune as bragging, while others like to mention certain things that they take pride in, like their family, their home, their car, their boat, or whatever else. I'd say that expressing envy negatively over what others take pride in by blaming them of bragging about it is just as bad as bragging just to feel above other people.

I take a lot of pride in my relationship, my job, and my income, as they all represent the fruits of my labour, and the accomplishment of my dreams. I have no trouble expressing this pride, but I would never talk about it for the sole purpose of putting other people in a worse light.

I don't agree. I don't think it's polite to talk about things that you have around people who don't have it, especially if you know it will make them envious.

Kinda depends on the circumstances, doesn't it? If someone asks me how much my house is worth, and how I'm getting by on my payments in this economy, I don't see any issues with telling the person.

Like in school when you got an "A" and all your friends got a "C". You just keep your mouth shut. What is the point?

As it was said before, if you work hard, you're allowed to be elated and tell your friends about it, even if they got Cs. If they can't handle that you're happy that your hard work paid off, then they fall under the category of people who criticise others for bragging simply because they're envious or dissatisfied with their own performance. It's narcissistic to discount or dismiss the idea of letting other people express joy over their achievements simply because they did better than you.

Of course, it also depends on how close you are to the people you are mentioning these things to. You have to know your audience.

Well, obviously my post described what I feel is acceptable to share, not who I feel it's acceptable to share it with. It's a given that you have to know your audience.

And I think it's common sense that mentioning that you have a house does not consititute bragging. Mentioning how much your house is worth is not necessary.

ETA: It's quite possible I'm just weird. People have commented that I can be tight-lipped about personal things to the extreme.

Like you just said, it depends on the audience. There's nothing wrong about mentioning how much your house is worth if the conversation steers in that direction. Categorically denouncing any mention of anything that you have is a symptom of jealousy, not a criticism of bragging.

There is nothing wrong with that as long as one is not going to repeat on a daily basis how they live in a ritzy neighborhood (he refinanced twice),paid 30,000 for a new suv for the wifey,bought his 30 something kids new bedroom sets,while flashing his wad of 20's in your face.

[Mikkel 0]

As it was said before, if you work hard, you're allowed to be elated and tell your friends about it, even if they got Cs. If they can't handle that you're happy that your hard work paid off, then they fall under the category of people who criticise others for bragging simply because they're envious or dissatisfied with their own performance. It's narcissistic to discount or dismiss the idea of letting other people express joy over their achievements simply because they did better than you.

Again, I totally disagree. And I think it's narcissistic to assume that others are jealous of you because they are put off by your bragging.

If you read closely, you'll probably see that I assumed no such thing. What's narcissistic is considering any kind of self-affirming expression to be bragging. Bragging is defined as taking excessive pride in your accomplishments or possessions. Excessive. If you cannot tolerate people expressing any sort of contentment with themselves, then you don't have a problem with bragging, but a problem with people expressing elation over their accomplishments in general.

You think you're "allowed to be elated and tell your friends about it". I think it's in poor taste. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

Poor taste is making people feel embarrassed about expressing their elation. Poor taste is not being able to handle other peoples' happiness.

[panamania79 2]

For example a couple of my co-workers just love to brag aout how much money they have.Their car,house,etc.

I do it to compensate for a small #######.

I think they do it because their wives have them by the nuggets and work is the only place they can express themselves freely.

[jundp 191]

I got groceries this evening. I didn't use food stamps, unlike the rest of you losers.

I take a lot of pride in my relationship, my job, and my income, as they all represent the fruits of my labour, and the accomplishment of my dreams. I have no trouble expressing this pride, but I would never talk about it for the sole purpose of putting other people in a worse light.

I agree with this (except for the income part...I'm a teacher so my only pride in my career is that I'm a darn good teacher). I think it's perfectly acceptable, within certain audiences, to share joy or happiness over certain things. I would never talk about these things out of context or in a way that would hurt others because I am sensitive to that. But I don't see any reason why I can't express joy or happiness in the right context because I might make some person jealous. There is a definite difference between bragging and sharing.

It's kind of like those bumper stickers that some parents put on their cars about their kid's achievements...on one hand they are proud of their child, but from another's perspective, it comes across as just bragging. We have a distant relative whose daughter made it into Stanford and of course...they have a license plate cover to prove it.

Steven, if Sean makes it into Yale, you can be sure I'll have the "Yale mom" sweatshirt and license plate cover

[one...two...tree 2,762]

As it was said before, if you work hard, you're allowed to be elated and tell your friends about it, even if they got Cs. If they can't handle that you're happy that your hard work paid off, then they fall under the category of people who criticise others for bragging simply because they're envious or dissatisfied with their own performance. It's narcissistic to discount or dismiss the idea of letting other people express joy over their achievements simply because they did better than you.

Again, I totally disagree. And I think it's narcissistic to assume that others are jealous of you because they are put off by your bragging.

If you read closely, you'll probably see that I assumed no such thing. What's narcissistic is considering any kind of self-affirming expression to be bragging. Bragging is defined as taking excessive pride in your accomplishments or possessions. Excessive. If you cannot tolerate people expressing any sort of contentment with themselves, then you don't have a problem with bragging, but a problem with people expressing elation over their accomplishments in general.

You think you're "allowed to be elated and tell your friends about it". I think it's in poor taste. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

Poor taste is making people feel embarrassed about expressing their elation. Poor taste is not being able to handle other peoples' happiness.

I agree. There are two extremes.

[Jenn! 918]

As it was said before, if you work hard, you're allowed to be elated and tell your friends about it, even if they got Cs. If they can't handle that you're happy that your hard work paid off, then they fall under the category of people who criticise others for bragging simply because they're envious or dissatisfied with their own performance. It's narcissistic to discount or dismiss the idea of letting other people express joy over their achievements simply because they did better than you.

Again, I totally disagree. And I think it's narcissistic to assume that others are jealous of you because they are put off by your bragging.

I'd be put off by someone bragging about something, even if I have the same thing or something "better". How can that be jealousy?

You think you're "allowed to be elated and tell your friends about it". I think it's in poor taste. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

Why do you hate America?

I think we're probably really all on the same page here (maybe, mostly). I think excessiveness is assumed when we're talking about bragging, not simply stating facts. I probably err on the more conservative side when choosing what to share because I care what other people think, even if they're wrong.

For me, the bottom line is that I'd rather not people think that I'm an ###hole, even if they only think that out of jealousy. It's better to get along sometimes than to be "right".

ETA: And just to clarify, while I might have more problems than the average Joe expressing pride in my own accomplishments, that doesn't mean that I'm sour grapes when someone else does.

Edited February 22, 2009 by Jenn!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

As it was said before, if you work hard, you're allowed to be elated and tell your friends about it, even if they got Cs. If they can't handle that you're happy that your hard work paid off, then they fall under the category of people who criticise others for bragging simply because they're envious or dissatisfied with their own performance. It's narcissistic to discount or dismiss the idea of letting other people express joy over their achievements simply because they did better than you.

Again, I totally disagree. And I think it's narcissistic to assume that others are jealous of you because they are put off by your bragging.

I'd be put off by someone bragging about something, even if I have the same thing or something "better". How can that be jealousy?

You think you're "allowed to be elated and tell your friends about it". I think it's in poor taste. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

Why do you hate America?

I think we're probably really all on the same page here (maybe, mostly). I think excessiveness is assumed when we're talking about bragging, not simply stating facts. I probably err on the more conservative side when choosing what to share because I care what other people think, even if they're wrong.

For me, the bottom line is that I'd rather not people think that I'm an ###hole, even if they only think that out of jealousy. It's better to get along sometimes than to be "right".

ETA: And just to clarify, while I might have more problems than the average Joe expressing pride in my own accomplishments, that doesn't mean that I'm sour grapes when someone else does.

I hear ya. It's just that we can become too worried or overthink what other people might think about us based on what we share with them. IMO, the people who really know us or want to know us will not put us in a box.

Edited February 22, 2009 by Mister Fancypants