Thinking of Divorce

[Noivo007 0]

We love each other but apparently, I get on her nerves too much. I am the sponsor and really don't want to mess up her opportunity to study here and help out her family. Any ideas on how to make this work? If I am unhappy because she is upset all the time, is it worth four years of sticking it out.

Do I give her time to say her fairwells to class mates or give her like 2 days to pack and be on her way?

Should I get her a ticket and then let her know when she gets home that it is one way? hehe a bit mean eh? I just don't want a week of moping or arguing while she waits for her plane.

Are there ways to seperate and / or possibly let her live abroad and get this done without too much pain.

Mind you I still love her and wish she was the one but she said see has no intimate feelings for me and I should not be so attached to her and we can just live as roomates (while I pay for everything and reform her mother's home and pay for her daughters school and housing).

[Bobby+Umit 161]

t she said see has no intimate feelings for me and I should not be so attached to her and we can just live as roomates (while I pay for everything and reform her mother's home and pay for her daughters school and housing).

Sounds that she is using you for a green card. That is not a loving statement a wife should make IMHO.

If you are unhappy with the marriage, and she is not meeting you halfway, then divorce may be the only option.

[john & jean 37]

buy her a ticket, pack her stuff while she is away, tell her what's up when you get to the airport

[Chica Yeyé 41]

t she said see has no intimate feelings for me and I should not be so attached to her and we can just live as roomates (while I pay for everything and reform her mother's home and pay for her daughters school and housing).

Sounds that she is using you for a green card. That is not a loving statement a wife should make IMHO.

If you are unhappy with the marriage, and she is not meeting you halfway, then divorce may be the only option.

Jesus!! Why does every immigrant who stops loving their USC spouse has to be in it for the green card. Quick to judge, eh?

And if they adjusted status, the USC cannot "ship her back". SHE is a person, you know? VJ sheesh.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

t she said see has no intimate feelings for me and I should not be so attached to her and we can just live as roomates (while I pay for everything and reform her mother's home and pay for her daughters school and housing).

Sounds that she is using you for a green card. That is not a loving statement a wife should make IMHO.

I agree and you should not feel personally responsible for her future in school or the remodeling of moms house. She has obviously left the relationship, maybe its time you do as well. You will be better off in the long run.

[luv2uallday 1]

We love each other but apparently, I get on her nerves too much. I am the sponsor and really don't want to mess up her opportunity to study here and help out her family. Any ideas on how to make this work? If I am unhappy because she is upset all the time, is it worth four years of sticking it out.

Do I give her time to say her fairwells to class mates or give her like 2 days to pack and be on her way?

Should I get her a ticket and then let her know when she gets home that it is one way? hehe a bit mean eh? I just don't want a week of moping or arguing while she waits for her plane.

Are there ways to seperate and / or possibly let her live abroad and get this done without too much pain.

Mind you I still love her and wish she was the one but she said see has no intimate feelings for me and I should not be so attached to her and we can just live as roomates (while I pay for everything and reform her mother's home and pay for her daughters school and housing).

that last statment smells of mairriage fraud. It's called in immigration terms "marriage of convenience" She wants you only for the benefits when you are no longer needed she WILL leave you.. You may love her but it seems she doesn't love you except for finiancial and immigration gain. I hope thats not true but open your eyes and look at your situation objectively and ask yourself what it is.

You deserved to be loved and she told you what she feels and wants the ball is in your court now I wish you the best of Luck and I wish the very best for you

[Dakine 26]

We love each other but apparently, I get on her nerves too much. I am the sponsor and really don't want to mess up her opportunity to study here and help out her family. Any ideas on how to make this work? If I am unhappy because she is upset all the time, is it worth four years of sticking it out.

Do I give her time to say her fairwells to class mates or give her like 2 days to pack and be on her way?

Should I get her a ticket and then let her know when she gets home that it is one way? hehe a bit mean eh? I just don't want a week of moping or arguing while she waits for her plane.

Are there ways to seperate and / or possibly let her live abroad and get this done without too much pain.

Mind you I still love her and wish she was the one but she said see has no intimate feelings for me and I should not be so attached to her and we can just live as roomates (while I pay for everything and reform her mother's home and pay for her daughters school and housing).

Since you refer to "her daughters" and not your step daughters I'd say it's time to say aloha.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

t she said see has no intimate feelings for me and I should not be so attached to her and we can just live as roomates (while I pay for everything and reform her mother's home and pay for her daughters school and housing).

Sounds that she is using you for a green card. That is not a loving statement a wife should make IMHO.

If you are unhappy with the marriage, and she is not meeting you halfway, then divorce may be the only option.

Jesus!! Why does every immigrant who stops loving their USC spouse has to be in it for the green card. Quick to judge, eh?

And if they adjusted status, the USC cannot "ship her back". SHE is a person, you know? VJ sheesh.

It's not everytime, and that does get thrown around too much when things just dont work out

BUT, the fact that she told him "you shouldnt be so attached to me" is pretty telling

[Chica Yeyé 41]

t she said see has no intimate feelings for me and I should not be so attached to her and we can just live as roomates (while I pay for everything and reform her mother's home and pay for her daughters school and housing).

Sounds that she is using you for a green card. That is not a loving statement a wife should make IMHO.

If you are unhappy with the marriage, and she is not meeting you halfway, then divorce may be the only option.

Jesus!! Why does every immigrant who stops loving their USC spouse has to be in it for the green card. Quick to judge, eh?

And if they adjusted status, the USC cannot "ship her back". SHE is a person, you know? VJ sheesh.

It's not everytime, and that does get thrown around too much when things just dont work out

BUT, the fact that she told him "you shouldnt be so attached to me" is pretty telling

And I am thinking: if the guy is one of those clingy needy over-bearing men; she is just telling him to back off, and so would I.

I find it upsetting that people are so damn quick to jump the gun on someone we don't even know and immediately believe the OP.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

t she said see has no intimate feelings for me and I should not be so attached to her and we can just live as roomates (while I pay for everything and reform her mother's home and pay for her daughters school and housing).

Sounds that she is using you for a green card. That is not a loving statement a wife should make IMHO.

If you are unhappy with the marriage, and she is not meeting you halfway, then divorce may be the only option.

Jesus!! Why does every immigrant who stops loving their USC spouse has to be in it for the green card. Quick to judge, eh?

And if they adjusted status, the USC cannot "ship her back". SHE is a person, you know? VJ sheesh.

It's not everytime, and that does get thrown around too much when things just dont work out

BUT, the fact that she told him "you shouldnt be so attached to me" is pretty telling

And I am thinking: if the guy is one of those clingy needy over-bearing men; she is just telling him to back off, and so would I.

I find it upsetting that people are so damn quick to jump the gun on someone we don't even know and immediately believe the OP.

And I find it upsetting you assume people should not believe the OP. As you assume he is a "clingy needy over-bearing"

I bolded the part in his statement that "sounds" like she is just here for the card.

If I was in that situation, I would divorce. Which is what the OP wanted to know.

As you might notice, I made no such statement to "ship her back"

[Y's_habibitk 2]

t she said see has no intimate feelings for me and I should not be so attached to her and we can just live as roomates (while I pay for everything and reform her mother's home and pay for her daughters school and housing).

Sounds that she is using you for a green card. That is not a loving statement a wife should make IMHO.

If you are unhappy with the marriage, and she is not meeting you halfway, then divorce may be the only option.

Jesus!! Why does every immigrant who stops loving their USC spouse has to be in it for the green card. Quick to judge, eh?

And if they adjusted status, the USC cannot "ship her back". SHE is a person, you know? VJ sheesh.

It's not everytime, and that does get thrown around too much when things just dont work out

BUT, the fact that she told him "you shouldnt be so attached to me" is pretty telling

And I am thinking: if the guy is one of those clingy needy over-bearing men; she is just telling him to back off, and so would I.

I find it upsetting that people are so damn quick to jump the gun on someone we don't even know and immediately believe the OP.

did you miss the part about.."we should live as roommates?" Its one thing to say..i need some space dear...its another to say "i have no intimate feelings and we should live as roomates"

and you are upset at assumptions but you are making them as well.

[Ban Hammer 13,491]

maybe try marriage counseling, and talk less.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Whatever rocks your boat sister, I am just not that quick to judge. We are only getting one side of the story - and I choose to believe half of it.

[Minya's wife 25]

t she said see has no intimate feelings for me and I should not be so attached to her and we can just live as roomates (while I pay for everything and reform her mother's home and pay for her daughters school and housing).

Sounds that she is using you for a green card. That is not a loving statement a wife should make IMHO.

If you are unhappy with the marriage, and she is not meeting you halfway, then divorce may be the only option.

Jesus!! Why does every immigrant who stops loving their USC spouse has to be in it for the green card. Quick to judge, eh?

And if they adjusted status, the USC cannot "ship her back". SHE is a person, you know? VJ sheesh.

It's not everytime, and that does get thrown around too much when things just dont work out

BUT, the fact that she told him "you shouldnt be so attached to me" is pretty telling

And I am thinking: if the guy is one of those clingy needy over-bearing men; she is just telling him to back off, and so would I.

I find it upsetting that people are so damn quick to jump the gun on someone we don't even know and immediately believe the OP.

True dat mana!

Why is everyone so quick jump on the "he/she must be using you for a green card" bandwagon? We have a short original post in which the OP is ruminating on the current state of his marriage. With the little IMMIGRATION related info the OP is providing, there is nothing on subject we can give him. So all subsequent posts are speculative and incendiary...totally unnecessary. We have no clue why the wife told the husband to back off, we have no clue why this couple is unhappy, and chiefly no clue at where they are in their VJ. Without more info there's no way to offer comprehensive assistance of any kind....we can only muddy the waters with innuendo.

-P

[Minya's wife 25]

t she said see has no intimate feelings for me and I should not be so attached to her and we can just live as roomates (while I pay for everything and reform her mother's home and pay for her daughters school and housing).

Sounds that she is using you for a green card. That is not a loving statement a wife should make IMHO.

If you are unhappy with the marriage, and she is not meeting you halfway, then divorce may be the only option.

Jesus!! Why does every immigrant who stops loving their USC spouse has to be in it for the green card. Quick to judge, eh?

And if they adjusted status, the USC cannot "ship her back". SHE is a person, you know? VJ sheesh.

It's not everytime, and that does get thrown around too much when things just dont work out

BUT, the fact that she told him "you shouldnt be so attached to me" is pretty telling

And I am thinking: if the guy is one of those clingy needy over-bearing men; she is just telling him to back off, and so would I.

I find it upsetting that people are so damn quick to jump the gun on someone we don't even know and immediately believe the OP.

did you miss the part about.."we should live as roommates?" Its one thing to say..i need some space dear...its another to say "i have no intimate feelings and we should live as roomates"

and you are upset at assumptions but you are making them as well.

and did you miss the part where english is not the wife's first language? Who knows what the wife said exactly? She could very well have meant 'I need some space dear' with her comment(s).