How to get rid of jealousy?

[Y's_habibitk 2]

I agree that he probably had NO idea she was going to be there. I think you should talk to him about it as calmly as you can. I would tell him you understand that he did not know she would be there, but his friends should be a little more sensitive.

Im pretty jealous too, and I would have been livid...not with him, but with the friends for not giving you guys some warning that she was coming.

I think it was very uncool of them to put you guys in that situation. But its not worth getting crazy over. Be calm, be patient and give him the benefit of the doubt.

thats my advise dear

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

how to get rid of jelousy hmmm

1) learn to read people before dating them

2) work on self-confidence

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

invite the girl over and have a 3some with her and your man.

[Nearly Done 8]

invite the girl over and have a 3some with her and your man.

Trust you!!!

[Minya's wife 24]

Wait, you're mad because you were introduced to a woman at a party, who you later found out is your fiance's ex? What are you jealous about? If your fiance has not behaved inappropriately, and by your account he has not...the what's the problem?

Why is finding out that she was once romantically involved with your future husband a cause for jealousy? The operative word here is was...as in this is in the past, over, done with. Don't exaggerate this situation into something it does not seem to be.

Enjoy the days leading up to your marriage....marry the man you love, be happy and live your life. IMO, what you wrote is no cause for jealousy, so just let it go.

-P

[Peikko 1,575]

Work on your own self esteem. If you have confidence in who you are and your values then jealousy can have no influence. Why would anyone want it to?

As to the situation, either you trust that your fiance is telling you the truth or you do not. If you do not, then you have trust issues. If that is the case then only by talking to him can you work through this to an outcome that you can come to terms with. Either way, simply being 'jealous' of some third party is not going to solve any of your problems.

[Mikkel 0]

Why be jealous at all? She obviously didn't give you anything to be jealous about when you spoke to her. If you're going to fret about your fiancé's past, you're probably going to do a lot of fretting. Sounds like you felt betrayed, and your reaction was compounded by jealousy. Justifying the feeling of betrayal is totally personal, but the jealousy seems fully irrational. He probably feels like you completely overreacted when you went off at him, and I'm sure he's hurt by that. This is the sort of stupid thing that can really drive a wedge in between two people if it isn't stopped early. You could end up being perpetually jealous, and he could end up feeling reluctant to share his past and present with you out of fear of your reaction.

Talk to him, apologise for your outburst, and explain to him what fueled your reaction. Chances are he'll be understanding, and apologise for leaving you oblivious in the situation.

[Jasman0717 9]

invite the girl over and have a 3some with her and your man.

Hummmmm

[Liam and Kara 6]

It's not easy being in a foreign country! It's all going to take some adjusting!

[gil-n-joy 1]

You need to communicate with your fiance, that is very important. Don't let petty jealousies get in your way to happiness. I am best friends with my first wife and she adores Claudeth. I guess it is the Filipina nature to be jealous

Sometimes I do think it's Filipina nature to be jealous.. And having a westerner fiance/husband who are mostly liberal on their relationships with the opposite sex doesnt help.. "Liberal" here would mean they flirt more openly than any ordinary Filipino guy..

I am also a jealous gf with my fiance's girl friends.. Dang I hate them and they're just friends (he doesnt have guy friends just girl best friends. bleh. whats up with that..). and I tell him that I do. Hmph! haha. But I know that when I'm at my coolest about these girls that I feel far better than any of them. so let's work on dropping the jealousy angst girl.. Be honest about it but work on getting better at controlling the emo.. That ex-fiancee was probably surprised too that u were nice to her. haha! which makes u look a lot lot better than most women in the same circumstance.. hehe. God bless on ur wedding!

Edited February 26, 2009 by giL & joy

[kittyc50 0]

You need to communicate with your fiance, that is very important. Don't let petty jealousies get in your way to happiness. I am best friends with my first wife and she adores Claudeth. I guess it is the Filipina nature to be jealous

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We cant really help our jealousy sometimes no matter how hard u tried to control ur emotions. Dont think too much about what happened, maybe ur fiance didnt really know she was coming there also... U should look up straight and just smile with high confident that ur fiance did everything for u to be with him and marrying u soon. That was happened to me also. Met my husband ex day after our wedding when we went out dinner with friends, his ex is a friend of his friend gf and i know my husband didnt know she's coming. I am very jealous person also but those situation didnt bother me at all. Was just thinking that that woman was only part of my husband chapter in his life before when we didnt met yet... and now just me and him we never let anybody influence our happiness and marriage.

[msu17 0]

Having people show up at a get together like that uninvited is very common. So is having the host invite someone last minute and not inform other guests. It is very likely that your fiance didn't know she was going to be there. I guess look back on it. You seemed to get along with her, talked to her a lot of the night, so why be jealous of someone you got along with who could be a potential friend.

I would definitely talk to your fiance about your feelings, but do it when you are calm. Tell him how it hurt you that you didn't know who she was and let him know you felt it was a set up. If you can't be open and honest with your future husband, its not a very good start to a marriage.

[BokGao 0]

Jealous women sux. Most of the time they have absolutely nothing/no reason to be jealous of anything but they are. They're also the type that gives you the silent treatment. And this lingers for hours if not days. You as a man is expected to read their mind and understand what was the cause of their concern. We don't have a 6 sense.

My ex-wife was like that. You couldn't even drive down the street and look in the direction of another woman walking on the sidewalk without her getting upset about it. I worked in a restaurant and even though nothing was going on, she would be cooking something up in her head. One day I made the mistake of slapping one of the girls butt to get her to move out of my way and she happened to see that. That was the end of the world. Full silent treatment.

A lot of times, I had to tiptoed around her. Like walking on eggshells so as to not get her upset. Don't look at another girl. Don't talk to another girl. Don't EVER show any kind of interest in another girl. She was so damn selfish. She wanted all the attention for herself. It was all about her. It wasn't like I stared excessively or had any ill intentions. Eventually, I think it ate her up. The only way that I would not ever set sight on another girl was to sit home all day with her and I couldn't do that.

So what's the moral of the story? Jealous women sux!!! Unless he gives you irrefutable and indenialable reason for you to doubt his trust, don't go there. It'll eventually kill the relationship. Nobody likes not being trusted. Especially when it's coming from their spouse.

I'm sure ex-wife new all along that he was in the process of getting married and knew that you had arrived and was very curious to meet you and see you in person. If anyone had a reason to be jealous, it would be her. Why else would she dropped by invited?

[sj5 4]

You should give her a Thank You Card for not marrying your fiance.

Edited March 1, 2009 by VJ's Opportunist

[merijan 0]

I dont think you should suspect your husband, Most likely he had no idea. You should however be cautious of his friends. It seems they may have had her come there.