Younger Beneficiary - Older Petitioner

[silvanski 1]

I'm glad to know I'm amongst the elite and special group who found true love and happiness in the net. Did you ever think about this would be a great movie? Don't you think lots of people would love to watch it?

Or read the book? Oh ya, this is kinda like a book here

Yep, we are unique in a way. There is the diversity on VJ, but all share the same experience.

The Visajourney book is interesting reading

[shoshweetygaff 0]

OHhhhhh and another comment about the younger skinny man, we talk on this subject all the time. I never met someone who tells me eat and eat more. Is it a psychological factor? My husband loves the "meat" on my legs and is crazy when he just see's me. I have always been comfortable in this skin and this has never been a problem, USA men do have a great enthusiasm for the larger woman too. And my husband, is not the "norm" thin man, he probably weighs about 205 and is over 6 feet tall. But the crazy thing on us, i'm almost 20 years older. And I've had my life, my career, my children, so it's like starting all over again with a fresh new attitude. I love it. I feel younger than ever!

[Jenn! 918]

jenn,

Perhaps because, after interviewing the visa applicant, the consular officers frequently find reason to suspect that the motives behind the application are not a preference for older women but rather a preference for the woman's money or the opportunity she offers to get into the USA.

I see that some people in the 'December-May' (or is it the other way around?) category from Morocco are getting their visas approved, so it's not completely arbitrary. But clearly visa fraud is a problem in Morocco.

(Disclosure - I work with a young Moroccan man. Great fellow, he'll make some lucky woman an excellent husband.)

Yodrak

The older woman petitioner / younger man beneficiary is an especially common scenario in Middle Eastern and North African countries. Interpret that as you wish....

And I understand - but have no personal experience or knowledge to confirm - that such scenario is not socially acceptable in those countries.

On the other hand, life can be unpleasant when one is genuinely a social outcast. If one lives in a society where one's life-style preference is not acceptable and opportunities to live one's preferred lifestyle are few and far between then one would naturally look for a suitable partner where opportunity and acceptance is more prevalent.

Yodrak

There are many who would argue that it is more socially acceptable than the consulates would like to think (ie. apparently even Mohammed married a much older woman). But it's gotten to the point, at least in Morocco, where they are sending many petitions back to the U.S. for further review in which the female USC is significantly older than the Moroccan male. Whether or not we agree with it, consulates seem to be frowning upon this particular scenario.

I would definitely agree with you on that, Yodrak. Sorry, I don't know what you mean by "December-May category".

Yes, fraud is definitely a problem in Morocco. I've heard firsthand and read articles about the young Moroccan men who frequent the internet cafes for the purpose of finding an American wife. However, it has also been mentioned that these men often do make great husbands, and while one of the motives for the romance may have been a green card, it is often not the entire story. I would have no idea what to suggest to the Moroccan consulate in terms of procedural revision to deal with the fraud issue.

Edited June 16, 2006 by jenn3539

[silvanski 1]

I've had my life, my career, my children, so it's like starting all over again with a fresh new attitude. I love it. I feel younger than ever!

My wife has had a pretty complicated life (ex-hubby etc) but she says she started a new life, a normal life at last because of me

[shoshweetygaff 0]

I hope everyone's motive is always love. And true love. I think we are not silly little girls who can't tell the difference between the real love and the words only. If you spend any time with your man, you know the truth and no one can say anything, friends, family or anything.

My kids are totally supportive, my family is extremely happy for me and I know that I can have a new life!

Don't get me wrong on the age difference, I don't see the consulate or embassy saying anything about age, who are they to decide if there is love or not? They can deal with that when we go for the interview after we try for the citizenship. If we do try for citizenship? If we don't need to and he can just stay here on green card, so why not?

That's good to know Silvain! I know my husband feels sometimes all eyes will be on him when he gets to USA. But here in Texas, he will fit in easy.

Texans are laid back easy going....dont bother me, and I won't bother you.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

!

Don't get me wrong on the age difference, I don't see the consulate or embassy saying anything about age, who are they to decide if there is love or not? They can deal with that when we go for the interview after we try for the citizenship. If we do try for citizenship? If we don't need to and he can just stay here on green card, so why not?

Ah, it actually is the consulate's job to decide is the relationship is valid (ie is it love or not). They will ask questions to that effect, so your husband shouldn't be offended when they do and should be ready to answer them. And if the relationship is unusual for the home country, then they'll explore that too. It's just the reality we face when we fall in love with someone from overseas.

[shoshweetygaff 0]

So are you saying that when he goes for his interview next month, that the officer will ask him questions about if he loves his wife? Or the children? I think they asked those questions in the initial approval to get married in Egypt stuff. So after they approved our marriage, now they are gonna ask if it's love or not?

[Chuckles 0]

It's only natural to when you are seeking a life partner and mate you want to find someone who is secure with a quality of life that may appear better then your own. If thats what makes people from certain countries look at the USA for a partner, so be it. That in itself does not constitute fraud.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

So are you saying that when he goes for his interview next month, that the officer will ask him questions about if he loves his wife? Or the children? I think they asked those questions in the initial approval to get married in Egypt stuff. So after they approved our marriage, now they are gonna ask if it's love or not?

The approval of the marriage was just for a marriage in Egypt. This is to be let into the country, which is a whole different ball game. Before he's issued a visa, they'll ask all of those questions over again and more. From what I've seen from other posters who have gone through Egypt and other ME/NA countries with the older woman/younger man scenario, they'll ask him why he married a divorced woman with kids, why he married an american, etc etc etc. He should be prepared with a lot of pictures of you together, pictures of you all with his family, proof that his family supports his choice in spouse, proof of your ongoing relationship like cards, emails, phone bills and the like.

There have been a few women married to ME/NA men who have been denied visas, even though the US government gave them the OK to marry their husbands. Then there are others for whom it takes forever and a day to get everything approved. There have been others who have had their husbands/fiances arrive at the airport at the US and then been not allowed to enter and sent back home.

Not to sound scary or anything, but being married doesn't guarantee him a visa. The interview isn't a mere formality, it's a ncessary and vital step in the process.

Of course, looking over the experiences of our ME/NA members, we get approved far more often then we get denied. But there are those people for whom there has been only heartache. That's how the cookie crumbles.

inshaAllah ta'ala it will go well for you and your husband.

Edited June 16, 2006 by rahma

[anya-D 8]

my friend was asked to show the house key.. to see if it is a real relationship and really live together.. and that's for AOS.

[john_and_marlene 162]

How do you think coutries get identified as high fraud? It's not because of some "feeling" on the part of COs ... it's from the level of specific findings of fraud. Don't you suppose that everyone that sponsored an immigrant and was subsequently tossed aside as soon as the greencard arrived thought that their relationship was valid and loving until they were slapped with the truth? They are considered high fraud countries because of the high incidence of actual fraud. You'll see stories here on VJ where the spouse takes off soon after arriving in the U.S. I don't wish anyone ill will, but some percentage will find too late that it wasn't about love at all.

[Chuckles 0]

How do you think coutries get identified as high fraud? It's not because of some "feeling" on the part of COs ... it's from the level of specific findings of fraud. Don't you suppose that everyone that sponsored an immigrant and was subsequently tossed aside as soon as the greencard arrived thought that their relationship was valid and loving until they were slapped with the truth? They are considered high fraud countries because of the high incidence of actual fraud. You'll see stories here on VJ where the spouse takes off soon after arriving in the U.S. I don't wish anyone ill will, but some percentage will find too late that it wasn't about love at all.

So true! However, there are plenty of marriages that happen the 'normal' way in the USA where the marriage happens for fraudelent reasons (not for love) then the couples splits as after one partner decides they get what they want.

Life has risk.

[Jenn! 918]

I think it's a very complicated issue for certain consulates. Of course there are exceptions to every rule. So what should a consulate do when they see a case that has some red flags such as a large age difference? Such a sticky situation...

[john_and_marlene 162]

How do you think coutries get identified as high fraud? It's not because of some "feeling" on the part of COs ... it's from the level of specific findings of fraud. Don't you suppose that everyone that sponsored an immigrant and was subsequently tossed aside as soon as the greencard arrived thought that their relationship was valid and loving until they were slapped with the truth? They are considered high fraud countries because of the high incidence of actual fraud. You'll see stories here on VJ where the spouse takes off soon after arriving in the U.S. I don't wish anyone ill will, but some percentage will find too late that it wasn't about love at all.

So true! However, there are plenty of marriages that happen the 'normal' way in the USA where the marriage happens for fraudelent reasons (not for love) then the couples splits as after one partner decides they get what they want.

Life has risk.

And it's not the job of the consulate to weed those out. It is, however, the job of the consulate to weed them out when immigration is involved. The issue here isn't the viability of a marriage or depth of love, rather to determine if the marriage is solely for the purpose of bypassing alternative immigration requirements.

[Jenn! 918]

And it's not the job of the consulate to weed those out. It is, however, the job of the consulate to weed them out when immigration is involved. The issue here isn't the viability of a marriage or depth of love, rather to determine if the marriage is solely for the purpose of bypassing alternative immigration requirements.

Exactly! I think so many people going through this process tend to overlook this distinction. It's not a matter of the government telling you who you can and can't marry. You are free to marry a person and emigrate to their country if you so choose. But the government is, and should be, in the business of deciding who should be given immigration benefits.