Yardies at home and Farrin (part13)

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

yo Q..u will be surprised the things men/women do just to set foot on US soil..thye don't care who they hurt while doing it...they can be as sincere as they want to be..best believe that!

girl.. i am sure i havn't seen the worse, but I have a handful of friends or "friends of friends" that have done some "dishonorable" things to get here or stay here. i think that is another reason why i am so cautious.. Ive seen it first hand

fi real!

Lawny..mi no love ooman..zeen!

u BAXIDE...mi no busniz...mi love u same way

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

yo Q..u will be surprised the things men/women do just to set foot on US soil..thye don't care who they hurt while doing it...they can be as sincere as they want to be..best believe that!

oieeeeeeee mek mi hush mi mout ... mi seh crasses...crassses

[JOURNEE1125 0]

Hi Culture. (i EDITED MY LAST REPLY SORRY)

I dont think anyone here is better equipped to answer this question than me. I visit my SO every month in Negril SINCE APRIL 2007. (I have the passport to prove it) And the way I deal with request is I say NO!!!!

First of all, you have to pay for what they are asking for.(MOST OF THE PEOPLE ASKING WILL PROMISE TO PAY "you back"), can someone please start a forum on how many people recieved their money back !!! I can wait!)

Then you have to pay the cost of your checked baggage AND POSSIBLE OVER WEIGHT.

If you get "Caught up" in customs you could be responsible for paying duty!

And above all you will never be able to keep up with the request!

Each time you bring a requested item. YOU WILL HAVE MORE DAYUM REQUEST!

Example!

The man that sells chicken in town in Negril told my SO to ask me to bring him a microwave!!! My SO told him NOT "go to hell" But go to Sav! Sav La mAR THAT IS , BIG STORES WITH CHEAPPER ######! LMAO

Rember ladies: What you start doing in the begining of the relationship , you will be expected to continue! (That also applies to lowering your standards! If you lowered them to get Him you have to keep your standards low to KEEP HIM! So if you thought it was cute to "Smoke a little with him on the beach. Lets see how your "Non Smoking Azz" is going to like it when he lands in the States and is Smoking like a chimney in yo house or "Fireing up in front of yo mama/ friends/ coworkers ect) lmao

Seriously though. Apply a level of common sense. If you are the type of woman who bought alot things for your last relationship in the states. And you are still "NOT HAPPLY INVOLVED WITH THAT PERSON". Dont waste your money trying to buy this one!

Understand that saying "No will kill this relationship, If it is ment to be"

I challenge some of the ladies to eliminate the monitary investments, CARS, gifts, and treats of the relationships for 60 days and see if the relationship is still so happy or even exsistent.

Remember ladies we can only be "USED" if we allow ourselves to be "USED UP"

Some could say that your "monthly" visits are monetary investments and a way (even if temporarily and you stay with him at his home) for him to have an improved quality of life. A lot of the men in Jamaica don't eat as well until their lady comes in town and goes grocery shopping...some don't even get to watch TV until their wifey tells him the hotel room number. Some don't even have the $$ to attend a party at M'ville...the Jungle...Alfreds...xyz until wifey comes in town...and when they go to local street dance dem a beg and look a drink.

I just think that we put entirely too much weight on whether or not we provide money or gifts to our men as to whether it is a real relationship or not. There are SO many other ways a man can use a woman without ever touching her wallet/purse/bank account. If he is that type of man...trust me you are not going to be his only source of income anyway. He can and will wait you and your purse strings out if he feels that you are going to eventually be that cash cow. If a gigalo can marry a woman that he doesn't love and wait for over two years for a greencard...60 days without pay will not faze him really. The gig game is sooo much bigger than that. Now, this is not to say that the stories won't get more deseparate or outlandish...but just to say it is by far not the only way to avoid an opportunist.

The only red flags you need to heed are those that hit your gut...it makes you have bubble guts or want to vomit...ladies just start trusting your instinct and natural God given gift of women's intuition. It will never fail you unless you stifle it.

I agree with you 100% on this!!

I UNDERSTAND YOUR POINT . And I am not responding to this to offend you or anyone else. So if the shoes dont fit your feet DONT WEAR THEM.

To clarify your comment on My monthly visits could bee seen as a monetay investiment. Well I guess you could see it that , however my SO and I take turns purchasing my tickets. We do live together! I dont just "spend the night with him"! Unlike some people on this site and in this world I cant afford to buy a man. I happen to know for a fact "Real Men" are not for sale. My SO has his own home and we dont live in Jamaica like tourists. So yes we do occassionaly go to a club. But even in the states I am not a big clubber. And yes I do give him gifts but mostly on holidays or birthdays.

And in referencing you comment on "QUALITY OF LIFE". My SO had a very decent quality of life when I met him. OMG He even had a T.V AND A CAR! That he bought. Hell he had a job and all of the other "QUALITIES" I look for in an American man. I AINT SAVING BROTHAS IN THE STATES AND I AINT SAVING JAMAICANS. I aint trying to be his supa woman. I am just being his Lady.

In closing: In relationships if you lower you standards when dating you recieve that same "TYPE" of person in Marriage! Yes there are limited oppurtunities in Jamaica. But these people are resilient. They find ways to make the most of and the make it work "CREDIT FREE". If you stick around in Jamaica "Long enough" you will come to realize most of these people have more "FINANCIAL COMMON SENSE" than the foriegners they are dating!

"Relationship Red Flags" you know them before you ever even post them on this. SOME, people are looking for someone to either support them or shoot them down. Eiter way we all have "FREE WILL" Just be smart enough to not find your self "Supported in Ignorance"!

BTW GOOD MORNING LMAO!

Good Morning Ladies. I hope all is well with each and every one of you!

Good Morning ladies!

Oh gosh. I'm so sorry. I was just using your post as an example. In no way was I thinking you needed to defend your actual relationship. I was trying to get a point across that no matter what "red flags" other people post--they have no merit if your own internal warning bells are not sounding off in your relationship.

I have never even seen you post on VJ before...so I had absolutely nothing to judge you on...not that I would anyway. I just feel so disheartened that we are all going through this same process...yet we still come on here trying to persuade each other that our relationship is "real".

All the things you posted are wonderful...but I would never post all of that to make my point to a virtual stranger. Nobody's relationship on this board is perfect or free from problems. I know mine isn't. I know the merit of my relationship...so I don't feel a need to defend it.

Again, your post just happened to be the very thing alot of women here feel the need to defend their relationship against so I just played devil's advocate and showed how others could possibly judge yours from what you posted.

Now, I need to know what you do that affords you so much time away from work so frequently...and are they or you hiring. LMAO BTW...I'm not offended by your post. I'm sorry if I offended you at all.

Honestly Jawi, I am not offended. I play alot and I was laughing at it all. I recieved ALOTT of pm referencing it and that is the reason for some of my board responses.

I am self employed and I am able to take "some" of my work with me. I have an excellent team that works with me in the states and we hold each other down when we are away. 2 of the ladies that work with me have SO's who live outside of the US. I just know that MY Sweetie is worth it. And he helps me tremendously.

I am on the board quite a bit I just dont post this much .LMAO

[wakeywakeup 1]

Since $$$ seems to be the issue today........Everyone please send positive thoughts to JA for my hubby (michael) as he has his first round of interviews today to go to Canada for a work program.......like that segway??? We need him to go and make some $$$ cause I can't do this process on my income and his JA income alone.......He has been waiting for the interview for 4 hours already...says that there are over 300 people there.... Poor baby...left home at 4am to be there on time by 7:30.

Good thoughts and prayers to our fellow namesake! I hope it works in his favor and his patience will pay off.

Well, he just sent a message....Honey I failed... Then he called to say they barely even asked him 4 questions....it wasnt a good fit. They needed farm workers and he works in an office situation. I am a true beleiver that everything happens for a reason and thus...something better is awaiting him and we will make it through this journey...pinching penny's!

Just feel bad cause he is feeling beaten down..... Chearleader Moira to the rescue...ra ra ra!!!!

Ahhh...sorry Moira, but he probably would have been miserable then. Farm work is not easy and if it's not his thing, it would truly suck no matter the money. One of my friends has been coming up on the farm work program at one of the apple orchards for almost 20 years. Whenever I go visit him I always commend them on the work vs the money.

sorry about that Jamerican. something else will come for him

[JaHoney 3]

where is philly at ????( looking around)

well not only have i shot FATSMASH To hell today with TACO bell, now im eating a walnut marshmallow fudge caramel drizzled brownie, with a huge cup of coffee, while i chill at Borders and do ppwk just to get out the office from the phones ringing and the crazy people for a minute.

18 ppll on board today, havent seen it this full in a long time...

Lawny far as them booty exercises, thats too much work, mi knoa haf time for all that, im just gonna invest in some booty pads like everyone else...LOL

14 days JA Soon come... beer belly, muffin top and ALL !!!

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Damn, all these quotes

[dancehallquana 5]

i dont need no butt exercise, i will give ya'll some but only if u take some of this belly and give me some more bust..am i asking too much??

[JOURNEE1125 0]

Sorry JAM,

But stay stron and dont give up. It will work out in the end. And the outcome will be even more appreciated than you can imagine.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Journee..i think u r silly as Kimora would say

[^KK^ 3]

Lawny and Hotlegz..things are good. Somedays are better than others. Some of the stuff we are dealing with is the same..him hanging out with friends. However, as long as I don't nag him he comes on home and limits the outings and the minute I start giving him grief..well you know. Otherwise I'm still trying to get prego and no luck yet. I'm disappointed every month

No worry wakey...it's will happen. Shoot you may even have twins.

Lawny and Hotlegz..things are good. Somedays are better than others. Some of the stuff we are dealing with is the same..him hanging out with friends. However, as long as I don't nag him he comes on home and limits the outings and the minute I start giving him grief..well you know. Otherwise I'm still trying to get prego and no luck yet. I'm disappointed every month

Wakey;

I hold your hand, we're in the same both. In due time, you'll be blessed...but on the real...AIN'T IT FUN TRYING

Baby soon come. Twins..

Since $$$ seems to be the issue today........Everyone please send positive thoughts to JA for my hubby (michael) as he has his first round of interviews today to go to Canada for a work program.......like that segway??? We need him to go and make some $$$ cause I can't do this process on my income and his JA income alone.......He has been waiting for the interview for 4 hours already...says that there are over 300 people there.... Poor baby...left home at 4am to be there on time by 7:30.

Good thoughts and prayers to our fellow namesake! I hope it works in his favor and his patience will pay off.

Well, he just sent a message....Honey I failed... Then he called to say they barely even asked him 4 questions....it wasnt a good fit. They needed farm workers and he works in an office situation. I am a true beleiver that everything happens for a reason and thus...something better is awaiting him and we will make it through this journey...pinching penny's!

Just feel bad cause he is feeling beaten down..... Chearleader Moira to the rescue...ra ra ra!!!!

Do you have the information on how to get an interview? Can you share? I know someone trying to get on farm work.

KK

[JaHoney 3]

Wakey, stay strong girl, baby soon come, when the time is right.

Moira, send mr reid some encouragement from da yardies dem..

quana, you can have all the extra bosoms i got in exchange for a batty...LOL

nothing cute about safety pinning your blouses if they gap cause your boobs, if you buy extra large they too big,, in church singing in the choir and notice the deacons on the front pews eyeballing you with they ol nasty tails and notice your top has popped a button loose, nah sir, no fun at all...lol

Octupulets @ Wakey

[^KK^ 3]

Ja Love....ur going to jamaica again? I'm jealous...have fun for me though.

[JaHoney 3]

quana, i have a friend who lives in Ft Lauderdale who is in a fake visa marriage with a cuban, cause he paid her 5000K, she put a downpayment on a car and moved into a condo...

Im like #######... love her like cooked food, but come on now?

[jawi876 2]

In retro to my first email. I was in no way bashing ELL last night and she knows this. We were PM'ing while I made this post talking about walmart. So as I have said if I have offended anyone, Especially if by striking that nerve" that was not my intention. My response was just "Me flinging Stones" at anyone who "Flings Stones" at me.

No one can tell "My Story" better than me. So my repsonse was to clear up any assumptions about "MY MONTHLY VISITS" to spend time with my Sweetie.

Muah,

I am Blowing Kisses and Huming Jill Scotts "Hate on Me Hater" while I type this LMAO

No but seriously yall, I am not trying to hurt any body I wish you all well. No relationship is perfect and I am in no way impling that mine is. But I will give my God his Glory. I have been Blessed!

Take Care

Wow!! Is all of this necessary? Are you directing this to me? First, you can never strike a nerve about my relationship because none of what you posted has ever applied to me. However, you posted like you were "the expert" on Jamaican LDRs because you have visited every month since April 2007. I was just simply stating an example of how quickly relationships can be judged. Again, I have never even seen you post before so it definitely wasn't personal.

I felt bad for Ells and what is bothering her right now. I also felt really bad for what Honey posted awhile ago about her best friend judging her because she is primarily paying for her trips to Jamaica. So, I still stand behind saying that your post was just your own individual way of determining whether a relationship is real or not.

Most of the women on this board will tell you that I am honestly supportive and happy for their successful relationships. A lot of women on here seek advice from me or call me, and they can rest assured that I have never betrayed their confidences. I will tell them my honest opinion even when I think they are the wrong party...but that is what a real friend does. I'm not going to stand behind the woman doing something wrong just because she is my friend or a woman. Wrong is wrong IMHO. I'm not the type of friend to tell you leave him girl. I will tell you to go and pray in earnest because prayer works. You got me pegged all wrong if you for a moment think I was hating on you.

This post proves my point. You should have never felt the needs to list out on VJ all the merits of your relationship and why it is better than anyone else's on this board. Lord help me. Once again I apologize if you felt I was "flinging stones" about your relationship.

[JaHoney 3]

KK?? you mean me or you mean Jahlove?

if you mean me, yeah im going in two weeks, taking my boys to the yard to for themselves whats up, unless you want to baby sit for me, in that case i can have them packed and dropped off in under 24 hours