Yardies at home and Farrin (part13)

[dancehallquana 5]

yo Q..u will be surprised the things men/women do just to set foot on US soil..thye don't care who they hurt while doing it...they can be as sincere as they want to be..best believe that!

girl.. i am sure i havn't seen the worse, but I have a handful of friends or "friends of friends" that have done some "dishonorable" things to get here or stay here. i think that is another reason why i am so cautious.. Ive seen it first hand

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Kimmy ow come u no deh pon di oddah side

leave mi alone..yuh baxide..mi a hide fram yuh!

bax ovah! but si one here ((((((((((((((((((((((((CHUPS)))))))))))))))))))))))))

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Ok...Kashi cannot wait for warm weather..hehehee..he keeps making plans on what we're gonna do on that wkend and this wken..I AM SOO FRUSTRATED WITH THIS DAMN COLD WEATHER!! today is not so bad though..but mi tired a it

[jamerican 2]

Since $$$ seems to be the issue today........Everyone please send positive thoughts to JA for my hubby (michael) as he has his first round of interviews today to go to Canada for a work program.......like that segway??? We need him to go and make some $$$ cause I can't do this process on my income and his JA income alone.......He has been waiting for the interview for 4 hours already...says that there are over 300 people there.... Poor baby...left home at 4am to be there on time by 7:30.

Good thoughts and prayers to our fellow namesake! I hope it works in his favor and his patience will pay off.

Well, he just sent a message....Honey I failed... Then he called to say they barely even asked him 4 questions....it wasnt a good fit. They needed farm workers and he works in an office situation. I am a true beleiver that everything happens for a reason and thus...something better is awaiting him and we will make it through this journey...pinching penny's!

Just feel bad cause he is feeling beaten down..... Chearleader Moira to the rescue...ra ra ra!!!!

[dancehallquana 5]

In due time Wakey..when a ur turn..a ur turn...hope things smooth itself out..what s gonna happen when baby comes..he's gonna still go hang out, while home pacifing a crying child?

i agree, maybe get things together in that arena b4 bringing in another issue to argue about.. but i understand if ur clock is ticking...

[SupportOAFJF 0]

yo Q..u will be surprised the things men/women do just to set foot on US soil..thye don't care who they hurt while doing it...they can be as sincere as they want to be..best believe that!

girl.. i am sure i havn't seen the worse, but I have a handful of friends or "friends of friends" that have done some "dishonorable" things to get here or stay here. i think that is another reason why i am so cautious.. Ive seen it first hand

fi real!

Lawny..mi no love ooman..zeen!

[Islandwoman 0]

Ok...Kashi cannot wait for warm weather..hehehee..he keeps making plans on what we're gonna do on that wkend and this wken..I AM SOO FRUSTRATED WITH THIS DAMN COLD WEATHER!! today is not so bad though..but mi tired a it

Add me to that list... although you guys are ahead of us. When I was in NYC I saw FLOWERS coming up! I still have snowbanks...

[Forever Young 1]

I'm still trying to get prego and no luck yet. I'm disappointed every month

Howdy Family, (just poppin' my head in)

I pray all is well with my fabulous VJ Yardie Clan! To all the new members...I wish you a very hearty WELCOME!! We are blessed to have you join us! To everyone else...I hope all is well you & your family!

Ok, Wakey about this post...Chica, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE remember...we are on HIS time...not him on OURS!! Try not to be disappointed every month...gosh that must kill a little piece of you inside. It hurt mine just to read it!

I so know how you feel! Just chalk it up to ...'Well, G-d has something else planned for me this month!' He ALWAYS has a bigger plan in mind for us...but we just can't see the full 100 yet! Just trust in him and YOUR MONTH...or nine months as the case may be will come!!

Stay blessed,

Gill

Edited March 25, 2009 by Forever Young

[wakeywakeup 1]

Lawny and Hotlegz..things are good. Somedays are better than others. Some of the stuff we are dealing with is the same..him hanging out with friends. However, as long as I don't nag him he comes on home and limits the outings and the minute I start giving him grief..well you know. Otherwise I'm still trying to get prego and no luck yet. I'm disappointed every month

Wakey;

I hold your hand, we're in the same both. In due time, you'll be blessed...but on the real...AIN'T IT FUN TRYING

Oh heck yeah.. the trying is sooo soo fun! I'm just tired of watching the calendar..

[jawi876 2]

Hi Culture. (i EDITED MY LAST REPLY SORRY)

I dont think anyone here is better equipped to answer this question than me. I visit my SO every month in Negril SINCE APRIL 2007. (I have the passport to prove it) And the way I deal with request is I say NO!!!!

First of all, you have to pay for what they are asking for.(MOST OF THE PEOPLE ASKING WILL PROMISE TO PAY "you back"), can someone please start a forum on how many people recieved their money back !!! I can wait!)

Then you have to pay the cost of your checked baggage AND POSSIBLE OVER WEIGHT.

If you get "Caught up" in customs you could be responsible for paying duty!

And above all you will never be able to keep up with the request!

Each time you bring a requested item. YOU WILL HAVE MORE DAYUM REQUEST!

Example!

The man that sells chicken in town in Negril told my SO to ask me to bring him a microwave!!! My SO told him NOT "go to hell" But go to Sav! Sav La mAR THAT IS , BIG STORES WITH CHEAPPER ######! LMAO

Rember ladies: What you start doing in the begining of the relationship , you will be expected to continue! (That also applies to lowering your standards! If you lowered them to get Him you have to keep your standards low to KEEP HIM! So if you thought it was cute to "Smoke a little with him on the beach. Lets see how your "Non Smoking Azz" is going to like it when he lands in the States and is Smoking like a chimney in yo house or "Fireing up in front of yo mama/ friends/ coworkers ect) lmao

Seriously though. Apply a level of common sense. If you are the type of woman who bought alot things for your last relationship in the states. And you are still "NOT HAPPLY INVOLVED WITH THAT PERSON". Dont waste your money trying to buy this one!

Understand that saying "No will kill this relationship, If it is ment to be"

I challenge some of the ladies to eliminate the monitary investments, CARS, gifts, and treats of the relationships for 60 days and see if the relationship is still so happy or even exsistent.

Remember ladies we can only be "USED" if we allow ourselves to be "USED UP"

Some could say that your "monthly" visits are monetary investments and a way (even if temporarily and you stay with him at his home) for him to have an improved quality of life. A lot of the men in Jamaica don't eat as well until their lady comes in town and goes grocery shopping...some don't even get to watch TV until their wifey tells him the hotel room number. Some don't even have the $$ to attend a party at M'ville...the Jungle...Alfreds...xyz until wifey comes in town...and when they go to local street dance dem a beg and look a drink.

I just think that we put entirely too much weight on whether or not we provide money or gifts to our men as to whether it is a real relationship or not. There are SO many other ways a man can use a woman without ever touching her wallet/purse/bank account. If he is that type of man...trust me you are not going to be his only source of income anyway. He can and will wait you and your purse strings out if he feels that you are going to eventually be that cash cow. If a gigalo can marry a woman that he doesn't love and wait for over two years for a greencard...60 days without pay will not faze him really. The gig game is sooo much bigger than that. Now, this is not to say that the stories won't get more deseparate or outlandish...but just to say it is by far not the only way to avoid an opportunist.

The only red flags you need to heed are those that hit your gut...it makes you have bubble guts or want to vomit...ladies just start trusting your instinct and natural God given gift of women's intuition. It will never fail you unless you stifle it.

I agree with you 100% on this!!

I UNDERSTAND YOUR POINT . And I am not responding to this to offend you or anyone else. So if the shoes dont fit your feet DONT WEAR THEM.

To clarify your comment on My monthly visits could bee seen as a monetay investiment. Well I guess you could see it that , however my SO and I take turns purchasing my tickets. We do live together! I dont just "spend the night with him"! Unlike some people on this site and in this world I cant afford to buy a man. I happen to know for a fact "Real Men" are not for sale. My SO has his own home and we dont live in Jamaica like tourists. So yes we do occassionaly go to a club. But even in the states I am not a big clubber. And yes I do give him gifts but mostly on holidays or birthdays.

And in referencing you comment on "QUALITY OF LIFE". My SO had a very decent quality of life when I met him. OMG He even had a T.V AND A CAR! That he bought. Hell he had a job and all of the other "QUALITIES" I look for in an American man. I AINT SAVING BROTHAS IN THE STATES AND I AINT SAVING JAMAICANS. I aint trying to be his supa woman. I am just being his Lady.

In closing: In relationships if you lower you standards when dating you recieve that same "TYPE" of person in Marriage! Yes there are limited oppurtunities in Jamaica. But these people are resilient. They find ways to make the most of and the make it work "CREDIT FREE". If you stick around in Jamaica "Long enough" you will come to realize most of these people have more "FINANCIAL COMMON SENSE" than the foriegners they are dating!

"Relationship Red Flags" you know them before you ever even post them on this. SOME, people are looking for someone to either support them or shoot them down. Eiter way we all have "FREE WILL" Just be smart enough to not find your self "Supported in Ignorance"!

BTW GOOD MORNING LMAO!

Good Morning Ladies. I hope all is well with each and every one of you!

Good Morning ladies!

Oh gosh. I'm so sorry. I was just using your post as an example. In no way was I thinking you needed to defend your actual relationship. I was trying to get a point across that no matter what "red flags" other people post--they have no merit if your own internal warning bells are not sounding off in your relationship.

I have never even seen you post on VJ before...so I had absolutely nothing to judge you on...not that I would anyway. I just feel so disheartened that we are all going through this same process...yet we still come on here trying to persuade each other that our relationship is "real".

All the things you posted are wonderful...but I would never post all of that to make my point to a virtual stranger. Nobody's relationship on this board is perfect or free from problems. I know mine isn't. I know the merit of my relationship...so I don't feel a need to defend it.

Again, your post just happened to be the very thing alot of women here feel the need to defend their relationship against so I just played devil's advocate and showed how others could possibly judge yours from what you posted.

Now, I need to know what you do that affords you so much time away from work so frequently...and are they or you hiring. LMAO BTW...I'm not offended by your post. I'm sorry if I offended you at all.

[JOURNEE1125 0]

Ja Honey

jUST tAK it ez!

It will all work. The beauty of being a woman is we are allowed to be emotional! Society has somewhat taken that from us and marked it as being a ###### or crazy. But we are emotional we just have to know when to eloquently apply it. I am emotional as hell. I apply it when I want and as much as I want . Hell I guess I am crazy! lmao

I am just defensive by nature. Sometimes emailing and cyber chatting can come off as harsh and that was not my intention. But as a jamaican child told me. "Mi na leave mi head at home wit mi mudda". I can think for my self. And at times people will say things in a "round about" way. So I may have to throw some dayum stones back.

And if they dont hit "Your Windown/ or Bust your head". Dont worry yourself!

Even if I am wrong in how I understood the reply, I will still defend my positon!

And I am still humming Jilly from Philly

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Since $$$ seems to be the issue today........Everyone please send positive thoughts to JA for my hubby (michael) as he has his first round of interviews today to go to Canada for a work program.......like that segway??? We need him to go and make some $$$ cause I can't do this process on my income and his JA income alone.......He has been waiting for the interview for 4 hours already...says that there are over 300 people there.... Poor baby...left home at 4am to be there on time by 7:30.

Good thoughts and prayers to our fellow namesake! I hope it works in his favor and his patience will pay off.

Well, he just sent a message....Honey I failed... Then he called to say they barely even asked him 4 questions....it wasnt a good fit. They needed farm workers and he works in an office situation. I am a true beleiver that everything happens for a reason and thus...something better is awaiting him and we will make it through this journey...pinching penny's!

Just feel bad cause he is feeling beaten down..... Chearleader Moira to the rescue...ra ra ra!!!!

Jamerican tell him "bettah mus come" and not to feel bad. When my SO applied for farm work 5 years ago, the lady told him that he looks like he likes to party all the time and don't take work seriously

[Islandwoman 0]

Since $$$ seems to be the issue today........Everyone please send positive thoughts to JA for my hubby (michael) as he has his first round of interviews today to go to Canada for a work program.......like that segway??? We need him to go and make some $$$ cause I can't do this process on my income and his JA income alone.......He has been waiting for the interview for 4 hours already...says that there are over 300 people there.... Poor baby...left home at 4am to be there on time by 7:30.

Good thoughts and prayers to our fellow namesake! I hope it works in his favor and his patience will pay off.

Well, he just sent a message....Honey I failed... Then he called to say they barely even asked him 4 questions....it wasnt a good fit. They needed farm workers and he works in an office situation. I am a true beleiver that everything happens for a reason and thus...something better is awaiting him and we will make it through this journey...pinching penny's!

Just feel bad cause he is feeling beaten down..... Chearleader Moira to the rescue...ra ra ra!!!!

Ahhh...sorry Moira, but he probably would have been miserable then. Farm work is not easy and if it's not his thing, it would truly suck no matter the money. One of my friends has been coming up on the farm work program at one of the apple orchards for almost 20 years. Whenever I go visit him I always commend them on the work vs the money.

[wakeywakeup 1]

In due time Wakey..when a ur turn..a ur turn...hope things smooth itself out..what s gonna happen when baby comes..he's gonna still go hang out, while home pacifing a crying child?

i agree, maybe get things together in that arena b4 bringing in another issue to argue about.. but i understand if ur clock is ticking...

Yeah clock is ticking..I'll be 37 in Nov!! Yeah I agree we could wait until he gets this , "I'm in American and loving to see stuff" out of his system but you take the good with the bad and he is soo good to me in other ways I know he will be a good daddy and maybe it will slow him down to. No way to predict

[dancehallquana 5]

sorry jamerican..

yeah kimmy.. that is why i can't fling stones at immigration.. most of my guy "associates" are AFrican and either they or a friend have overstayed a work visa, visitor visa and trying to marry someone now or married to get here and doing whatever the heck he want to w/ whoever he want to while wifey is either depressed or clueless..SADD SADD SADD..

one of the dudes even asked me to help him find a wife???? like i would really put somebody in that situation.. they really see it as a means of survival CRAZY