Yardies at home and Farrin (part13)

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Hi Hotlegz

My best friend was a pain in the #### when I was somewhat planning my wedding, and I was pregnant. So I told here to let me know whats up because the wedding will go on with or without her.

That's exactly, sounds like exactly what i would do..out a order

I agree. My best friend was not invited to my wedding because of her husband. He said some mean things about Damien before he came here. I got mad at her because she repeated them to me. I did not want any negative vibes on our day or in our lives. She cried like a baby when she saw the pictures. Oh well...

OKay!

[JaHoney 3]

alright ladies well i have to get on the road to go visit some clients, thanks for the encouragement.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Kimmy -- go log on ovah so please

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Kimmy -- go log on ovah so please

yuh batty,,lef mi alone

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Kimmy -- go log on ovah so please

yuh batty,,lef mi alone

cho...u lucky seh mi knee a hat mi cause a one running drap ovah bax kick u woudah get...

[dancehallquana 5]

wha gwaan yardies..

hmm let me see..

congrats 1 luv on the anniversary.. u and ur hubby mek me smile..

jawi.. beautiful dress my dear, I LOVE IT but i gotta say, after seeing some of ur pics i wish u was showing those nice legs.. but dat can be for the reception LOL

lovesponge, i know how u feel, my "moment" was when my divorce went thru.. it was like as long as i was married, Roger and i was just a nice dream, now that it CAN really happen, i feel so scary.. like u said. WHAT IF MR RIGHT is out there and i am making a mistake, but u know what, seems like whenever i start getting crazy, that man does SOMETHING to make me know he is the one for me..

honey.. i know u know all of this and are just venting, but ur friend is just being the friend she know how to be.. i have said b4 that i didn't think well of LDR b4 i EXPERIENCED it w/ Roger. i am doing things i said i never would. and even tho she has made some mistakes or poor judgement i guess, its easier for her to see what u are doing as such a terrible thing.

i got this email from a preacher that said "a man is supposed to ELEVATE u" don't fool w/ nobody that is not on ur level.. i started to feel bad about my situation, but u know what, i don't think that means just financially.. i think it can mean alot of different things. Roger does elevate me, he makes me feel strong and i need that more than i need a doctor or lawyer to bring me to a higher tax bracket..

many blessing to u honey..

[phillyfashionista 8]

JaHoney,

I don't want to over step my bonds but like everyone say trust in your decision that you are making. You know yourself and know whats good for you and will know when to get away from something that is not good for you. He might not be equally yoke to you right now but who to tell what the future holds, the shoe might be on the other foot. A lot of people love to talk about 50/50 relationship but it don't always work out like that. There are going to be times that you will have to give 90 and him 10 and vice versa. Just pray about it and live you life. No knows the in and outs of what you share with your husband to be. The best in your face is to have a loving and happy marriage. I used to say I won't marry any man from Ja because they come here and then give all kind of hell. [b]But I look at it this way, a man here can put your through all kind of hell[/b] Live you life for you and not for anyone else, if they don't like how you live your life, they can keep it to themselves. Cheer up and feel better

Ain't that the truth Mz Neicy!

Damniecy your not overstepping your boundaries, and i dont want you all to feel like im coming here for validation it just seems as if the only place that people can relate to you is here on VJ, if i didnt have you all to post this frustration i would be somewhere crying and mad as hell...LOL

Mz Honey I feel the same way, the VJ family is wonderful nothing but support

Honey - you will learn who your real friends are during this process. It took awhile before some of friends true colors showed...the same ones who supported me. They are still surpised Damien and I are together which lets me know they had doubts.

Mrz Shemmy that is deep, why did I just start humming Friends by Whodini LOL, you remember that song. Friends, how many of us have them? Friends, the ones we can depend on..... I got to find that pic! LOL

Our show was just a recap- audition show! How could Rupaul do this to us I was so excited to see the final 3

[Jonesie 1]

I bought my dress yesterday and shoes....

Dress:

Shoes:

Ohhhh pretty! I love this dress. You can wear the shoes on other special occassions as well.

[jawi876 2]

congrats Jake...ur next on the list..

male doesn't make a dif in my book,...i prefer a male ob/gyn...i was always comfy..he listened to me all that

u won't need to buy maternity for a little while i suppose...

and being pregnant does not make u handicap or special..only to u and ur husband..while preggo i still HAD to hold my older daughter..until the belly got in the way...u will learn ur limits..and if u were working already, unless u were on ur death bed or quit..u would at work no matter what..tired or not

enjoy ur pregnacy if u can..not all women can

SUS..CONGRATS TO U MY GIRL...FABULOUS!

JAWS..LET ME TELL U..I LOVE LOVE LOVE..THAT DRESS..HOT MOMMA !!..THOSE SHOES!

CONGRATS on ur dress honey

Thanks sis. I agree about the pregnancy thing. It definitely doesn't stop the show.

I have a topic..

How do you feel the issue of DNA comes about in ur relationships? Do u feel b/c the man has some doubt or b/c U have some doubt?

I have seen this come up alot..nothing directly at anyone..just a thought

It never crossed my mind that my husband's other girls were his, he mentioned to me he really didn't play a part in 1 of their lives until she was about 2 b/c he didn't think she was his...and i left it at that..he was careless enough to even have that doubt..HIS PROBLEM..until he files for them and DNA gets brought up..I have no questions...

any input?

I personally would never tell my man to get a DNA test. If he loves the child as his cild then so be it. There may even be something you don't know like the man agreed to take care of another man's child knowingly because he loved the woman at one point and it was the natural thing to do.

Morning all!

Jawi, that dress is absolutely beautiful - where did you get it? I guess I have to start dress shopping, huh?

Kimmy, DNA is a hard question - I had been through it with an ex from here = long story, but he had a daughter with someone, right when we got together she claimed she was pregnant and it was his, thinking he would come back - when he was still w/ me, she went after him for support, claiming he never paid (he gave her way over the amount, just in cash) = He got a test on the baby, it wasn't his - so he tested his older daughter, she wasn't his either. So, when I met DJ and heard he had a son, I guess I am jaded bc that was sorta my first thought, based on what the history was w/ DJ and the mom = Then I saw him, and no doubt in my mind, his son is the spitting image.

I can understand the rationale behind it - However, it takes a man to be a father, anyone can be a donor = I feel that if a man has taken full responsibility for a child, and wants to file to bring them here and continue to be the father, then the embassy should not interfere in that or stop it.

I got it from Nordstrom's.

Awwww...Happy Belated Birthday BabySponge. I feel you on the DNA testing. I hope that it turns out the way you both want it to.

OMG...I'm in tears this is too funny "BABY SPONGE"...sorry, all I can think of is the contraceptive.

Jawi, if I had gotten married in Jamaica that was the style dress I would have brought. I love it because it's simple, elegant and just down right beautiful.

What? I wasn't trying to be funny. Just didn't know what else to type. LOL Sorry Lovesponge. Thanks Lawny. Where did you try the dress on? Was it the same dress or a variation of it?

Jawi, you are going to be gorgeous in both. Love them.

Thanks JG and Honey.

Morning all!

We celebrated our 3rd year wedding anniversary yesterday! It was great. I love that man!

Congrats Jakeswife!

Congrats SUS! Love the tattoo.

I am at home this week for March Break with the kids! I am relaxing and listening to Linkz Fm. Makes me feel like I am in Jamaica

Happy Anniversary!

Beautiful Shirley!! You'll be a gorgeous bride.

Thanks T. I'm excited even though I haven't a clue about where we will get married. LMAO

Mrs P, its your turn for a baby....LOL

Ok, so question for you , when you planned your wedding how difficult was it, and how many farriners did you bring with you to JA???

Do you think that you are giving your friends and family enough time to plan a trip to Jamaica or the expenses? Would you be okay if they were not able to make it?

[NatPatBen 3]

LOL - Okay, I will start it off - But can't give it all till Jamerican gets back! This story will not be like the last one, though - it was pretty calm -

...Thankfully, I had told him my flight landed at 10 am, not 11:30!...

Weds again was a beach day - Then Jamerican and her man arrived. She called me early afternoon = DJ was starting to fall asleep, her man was watching football - so the two of us linked up, and walked around town - Made lots of fans along the way, lol - All the men stopped her, calling her Rasta - asking her if she had "Seen Bob Marley" yet - Which I clarified for her! I took her to the cookshop by Sandcastles to get some food to bring back to the room -

At which point, I will be waiting for Jamerican to come back to continue!!

1) lol @ telling him the wrong flight time. Last time I felt bad cause the time I told Steven to pick me up didn't account for our time zone difference... so he was waiting a couple of hours.

2) WHY do people in Jamaica go by 3,000 different names???

3) What does "Seen Bob Marley" mean?

Ok so i have been trying to keep busy today with getting caught up at work. I emailed my best best friend in the whole world to let her know about me and Dwayne getting married and she just totally knocked the wind out of my sails, it feels like a kick in the teeth. SHe is saying what the bible has said about being equally yoked and the man being responsible for taking care of his household, she has seen me running back and forth to JA every three months spending my money and is he helping to pay for these trips, is he in a position to help take care of me and the boys, etc... she says she is at the computer crying because she has been holding on to long to this and has been wanting to tell me, and that i need to consult ephesians and talk to god and really listen. ...

4) My mother used to ask me questions like that. I told her 1) it's not her business, 2) if all I'm gonna get is negativity when I talk to her, then I don't want to talk, and 3) save the judgement for after you meet him. So last month, my parents & aunt came with me to Jamaica to hang out with Steven and his family. After that she actually said that she realized he brings other things to the table (namely, love) that may be more important than money.

...

i got this email from a preacher that said "a man is supposed to ELEVATE u" don't fool w/ nobody that is not on ur level.. i started to feel bad about my situation, but u know what, i don't think that means just financially.. i think it can mean alot of different things. Roger does elevate me, he makes me feel strong and i need that more than i need a doctor or lawyer to bring me to a higher tax bracket..

many blessing to u honey..

5) Exactly. I think sometimes Americans get too caught up in thinking support only = financial. But even women who can financially support themselves need other kinds of support & encouragement.

[sus 70]

1) lol @ telling him the wrong flight time. Last time I felt bad cause the time I told Steven to pick me up didn't account for our time zone difference... so he was waiting a couple of hours.

2) WHY do people in Jamaica go by 3,000 different names???

3) What does "Seen Bob Marley" mean?

One experience of waiting for him at the airport - I NEVER tell him the correct time, lol

Seen Bob Marley is another way of asking if you want to purchase some illegal substance...

[jawi876 2]

HI Jawi, Absolutely fabulous the ensemble is just breathless. I truly hope you post pics

I will definitely try. I hate how I look in pictures and it takes me a minute to see what everyone else sees because I am so critical. LOL

Ok so i have been trying to keep busy today with getting caught up at work. I emailed my best best friend in the whole world to let her know about me and Dwayne getting married and she just totally knocked the wind out of my sails, it feels like a kick in the teeth. SHe is saying what the bible has said about being equally yoked and the man being responsible for taking care of his household, she has seen me running back and forth to JA every three months spending my money and is he helping to pay for these trips, is he in a position to help take care of me and the boys, etc... she says she is at the computer crying because she has been holding on to long to this and has been wanting to tell me, and that i need to consult ephesians and talk to god and really listen. I swear, me and her have known each other since grade school and i just want some freaking support from my so called friends, HELL now im crying, and trying to hold it together at work...SHYT...i know my friends dont want to see me hurt and the such but DYAM it seems like every where i turn people are against me from the word go....

SOrry i just needed to vent, guess i will close my door to my office so i can get myself together.. she said she doesnt know about coming to JA but she will be there in spirit and that she has financial issues and two prior engagements back to back in july. You guys have no idea how it feels to feel so PHOCKING abandoned by your closest friends because of who you choose to fall in love with.( or maybe you do) matter of fact i know you do... i dont even know what to say to her, i dont want to feel like i have to defend my decision to her or anyone but dyam she has had my back since day one, she was always the one i ran to when we were kids and i needed a shoulder and now as an adult, #######?? can no one credit me for having phocking common sense because i met a man in another country, and love him..

Honey counter her by telling her to read the book of Songs of Songs. Unequally yoked HAS absolutely nothing to do with WEALTH and everything to do with spirituality. I don't like how people twist the Word to suit their own personal judgements/beliefs. The unfortunate thing is the life does not have any guarantees...there will be good and bad times. You could live your life afraid of the possibility of being hurt, or you could just live. I am all for living and enjoying even the smallest of joys.

If a man was supposed to be the only provider, then women would not have to say the same vows of for richer or poorer in marriage vows. Yes, it is natural to want your man to be a provider for his household and family. However, in today's society women are increasingly becoming the primary breadwinner in most relationships...even when both people are from the same place. The most important people for your marriage will all be in attendance hopefully.

Honey, I can totally relate -

My oldest friend, when I last talked to her before this trip, asked what we were going to do - I said that we might marry this trip, if everything was set - She went off and begged me to do the K1, because I haven't seen how he would be here - this, from a woman who married a man she knew for 4 months, got divorced 6 weeks after the wedding, and he is now Gay and living in a commune somewhere - I know it's hard to deal with, but brush it off - the best revenge for the hurt is to let them see your love and your success - You know your heart, trust in that and listen to it.

I see this situation a little differently. I think she was trying to warn you based on her own history or "lack" of judgement. She wants you to learn from her mistakes...not neccessarily about him being from Jamaica...IMHO. I may be wrong...but that's how I took it.

Hi VJ family. Work has been kicking me in the butt .

Jawi - love your style..the dress and shoes are perfect.

Happy Anniversary 1Luv.

Have to go back to read

Thanks Shemmy!

[Ellsinlove 2]

Afternoon Yardies! Happy St. Patrick's Day! I wore my green so I wouldn't get pinched.

Jawi, beautiful dress and shoes....you are going to look like a princess!

I have a topic..

How do you feel the issue of DNA comes about in ur relationships? Do u feel b/c the man has some doubt or b/c U have some doubt?

I have seen this come up alot..nothing directly at anyone..just a thought

It never crossed my mind that my husband's other girls were his, he mentioned to me he really didn't play a part in 1 of their lives until she was about 2 b/c he didn't think she was his...and i left it at that..he was careless enough to even have that doubt..HIS PROBLEM..until he files for them and DNA gets brought up..I have no questions...

any input?

That's exactly how I feel about it. If we're ever in a position to bring his daughter over and if he wants to, we can worry about it then.

Morning all!

We celebrated our 3rd year wedding anniversary yesterday! It was great. I love that man!

Congrats Jakeswife!

Congrats SUS! Love the tattoo.

I am at home this week for March Break with the kids! I am relaxing and listening to Linkz Fm. Makes me feel like I am in Jamaica

Congrast 1luv on your anniversary!

Honey it got it.

JG -- I fell in love with that dress the first time I tired it on...we'll see what happens next year.

Okay...am I the only IRISH JAMAICAN here...my co-workers love it, so I'm come in to find about 30 different things all GREEN of course in my office...they do this every year...

No wonder you're so firey Lawny! You have Irish & Jamaican in ya!

sounds like a plan... i honestly dont know what to do... my friend is getting on my nerves...i want a few people present on my day but im starting to think the stress of dealing with them may not be worth it...LOL

That is exactly my issue, Honey - Two of my friends travel frequently to JA - I told one of them what we were planning to do, and asked if she wanted to come, and maybe the other one - Her response was that they were planning to go back to Negril that month, so maybe if it worked out and they could figure out transportation they would come to Ochi, but she wasn't sure - HELLO - YOUR BEST FRIEND IS GETTING MARRIED, AND YOU CAN'T WAIT TILL I GIVE YOU DEFINITE DATES?

People can be so strange. Sometimes I think people have to come to terms with their own jealousies and insecurities before they can chill out and be supportive friends again.

Ok so i have been trying to keep busy today with getting caught up at work. I emailed my best best friend in the whole world to let her know about me and Dwayne getting married and she just totally knocked the wind out of my sails, it feels like a kick in the teeth. SHe is saying what the bible has said about being equally yoked and the man being responsible for taking care of his household, she has seen me running back and forth to JA every three months spending my money and is he helping to pay for these trips, is he in a position to help take care of me and the boys, etc... she says she is at the computer crying because she has been holding on to long to this and has been wanting to tell me, and that i need to consult ephesians and talk to god and really listen. I swear, me and her have known each other since grade school and i just want some freaking support from my so called friends, HELL now im crying, and trying to hold it together at work...SHYT...i know my friends dont want to see me hurt and the such but DYAM it seems like every where i turn people are against me from the word go....

SOrry i just needed to vent, guess i will close my door to my office so i can get myself together.. she said she doesnt know about coming to JA but she will be there in spirit and that she has financial issues and two prior engagements back to back in july. You guys have no idea how it feels to feel so PHOCKING abandoned by your closest friends because of who you choose to fall in love with.( or maybe you do) matter of fact i know you do... i dont even know what to say to her, i dont want to feel like i have to defend my decision to her or anyone but dyam she has had my back since day one, she was always the one i ran to when we were kids and i needed a shoulder and now as an adult, #######?? can no one credit me for having phocking common sense because i met a man in another country, and love him..

So sorry Honey! Just remember, people project their own experiences and ####### onto others because either they think they're being helpful or they haven't worked through their issues surrounding those experiences yet. She probably is genuinely concerned about you but all you can do is like others have said, just show how happy you are in your relationship and they'll have no choice but to believe and let their fears go by the wayside. For now, just take all the time you need to let that hurt heal a little. Don't feel bad about your choices because you do have sense. Your friend will hopefully come around but until then, keep doing what makes you happy and forget the naysayers.

wha gwaan yardies..

hmm let me see..

congrats 1 luv on the anniversary.. u and ur hubby mek me smile..

jawi.. beautiful dress my dear, I LOVE IT but i gotta say, after seeing some of ur pics i wish u was showing those nice legs.. but dat can be for the reception LOL

lovesponge, i know how u feel, my "moment" was when my divorce went thru.. it was like as long as i was married, Roger and i was just a nice dream, now that it CAN really happen, i feel so scary.. like u said. WHAT IF MR RIGHT is out there and i am making a mistake, but u know what, seems like whenever i start getting crazy, that man does SOMETHING to make me know he is the one for me..

honey.. i know u know all of this and are just venting, but ur friend is just being the friend she know how to be.. i have said b4 that i didn't think well of LDR b4 i EXPERIENCED it w/ Roger. i am doing things i said i never would. and even tho she has made some mistakes or poor judgement i guess, its easier for her to see what u are doing as such a terrible thing.

i got this email from a preacher that said "a man is supposed to ELEVATE u" don't fool w/ nobody that is not on ur level.. i started to feel bad about my situation, but u know what, i don't think that means just financially.. i think it can mean alot of different things. Roger does elevate me, he makes me feel strong and i need that more than i need a doctor or lawyer to bring me to a higher tax bracket..

many blessing to u honey..

Quana, I feel the same way about having doubts about whether or not he's the right one. And just like you, he'll do something and I say, "YEAH, he's the one for me!"

I also agree that people can be on equal footing without it having to be about finances. If it's about being elevated, I guess I really am in this case. He makes me more compassionate, more patient, more loving, and HAPPIER!

[sus 70]

Here are a few pics:

[Ellsinlove 2]

Oh yeah....I almost forgot! Thanks ladies for the info to write the consularking e-mail addy for the fastest response on the K-1! They got back to me just a while ago and he has an appt to drop off his DS-230 on March 31 @ 1:30! Hopefully he'll have enough time to run around after and get his police certificate/report thing taken care of too.

Nice pics Sus! More please! (These will be on FB??)

Edited March 17, 2009 by Ellsinlove