Yardies at home and Farrin (part13)

[sus 70]

Honey, I can totally relate -

My oldest friend, when I last talked to her before this trip, asked what we were going to do - I said that we might marry this trip, if everything was set - She went off and begged me to do the K1, because I haven't seen how he would be here - this, from a woman who married a man she knew for 4 months, got divorced 6 weeks after the wedding, and he is now Gay and living in a commune somewhere - I know it's hard to deal with, but brush it off - the best revenge for the hurt is to let them see your love and your success - You know your heart, trust in that and listen to it.

[Shemmy 4]

Hi VJ family. Work has been kicking me in the butt .

Jawi - love your style..the dress and shoes are perfect.

Happy Anniversary 1Luv.

Have to go back to read

[JaHoney 3]

thanks Philly and Sus,

I will admit i am still feeling phocked up about the situation, but i will get over it.

thanks

[SupportOAFJF 0]

I have a topic..

How do you feel the issue of DNA comes about in ur relationships? Do u feel b/c the man has some doubt or b/c U have some doubt?

I have seen this come up alot..nothing directly at anyone..just a thought

It never crossed my mind that my husband's other girls were his, he mentioned to me he really didn't play a part in 1 of their lives until she was about 2 b/c he didn't think she was his...and i left it at that..he was careless enough to even have that doubt..HIS PROBLEM..until he files for them and DNA gets brought up..I have no questions...

any input?

Well, if he was careless, yeah, that is on him. I'm more of a proof kind of gal so until I see it in writing, I wouldn't worry too much myself.

Thats the way i feel to...until I see it..it's not a problem..

And Sus, I def understand ur fears and I would be the same way too if I were you.

I guess what I'm trying to figure out is if women/men automatically assume the child is not bioligical..maybe some kind of hope in the back of their minds that the child is not..I don't know I'm just talking

Happy anni 1luv..

Hey everyone

Honey, ur reply to ur friend..should be"whatever" let it roll off ur shoulders..don't stop being her freind. So, when since should we reply completely on out men? out society DOESN'T allow this...

[damniecy 0]

Ok so i have been trying to keep busy today with getting caught up at work. I emailed my best best friend in the whole world to let her know about me and Dwayne getting married and she just totally knocked the wind out of my sails, it feels like a kick in the teeth. SHe is saying what the bible has said about being equally yoked and the man being responsible for taking care of his household, she has seen me running back and forth to JA every three months spending my money and is he helping to pay for these trips, is he in a position to help take care of me and the boys, etc... she says she is at the computer crying because she has been holding on to long to this and has been wanting to tell me, and that i need to consult ephesians and talk to god and really listen. I swear, me and her have known each other since grade school and i just want some freaking support from my so called friends, HELL now im crying, and trying to hold it together at work...SHYT...i know my friends dont want to see me hurt and the such but DYAM it seems like every where i turn people are against me from the word go....

SOrry i just needed to vent, guess i will close my door to my office so i can get myself together.. she said she doesnt know about coming to JA but she will be there in spirit and that she has financial issues and two prior engagements back to back in july. You guys have no idea how it feels to feel so PHOCKING abandoned by your closest friends because of who you choose to fall in love with.( or maybe you do) matter of fact i know you do... i dont even know what to say to her, i dont want to feel like i have to defend my decision to her or anyone but dyam she has had my back since day one, she was always the one i ran to when we were kids and i needed a shoulder and now as an adult, #######?? can no one credit me for having phocking common sense because i met a man in another country, and love him..

Oh Mz Honey, I am so sorry to hear this I know what you are going through cause that sounds like my Mamma's exact words. As far as you talking to God, I am sure you have soul searched and had personal conversations with the creator regarding your decision. The key word is "your" decision. It's impossible for people on the outside looking in to truly understand the complexity of the situation. Although they care about you and think that they are making you "see" the light they aren't being supportive and a true friend will support you no matter what 100%.

Yeah yeah yeah it would be nice to be equally yoked but unfortunately Love doesn't come wrapped in the perfect package, but that doesn't make the Love you share less than!

This is the exact reason my azz got married on the mountain top, only my Hubby our Pastor and an Auntie who lived nearby cause I was tired of hearing all the chatter, so trust me I know what you are feeling. It's your life Mz. Honey and people will always talk but only you know what is best for you

JaHoney,

I don't want to over step my bonds but like everyone say trust in your decision that you are making. You know yourself and know whats good for you and will know when to get away from something that is not good for you. He might not be equally yoke to you right now but who to tell what the future holds, the shoe might be on the other foot. A lot of people love to talk about 50/50 relationship but it don't always work out like that. There are going to be times that you will have to give 90 and him 10 and vice versa. Just pray about it and live you life. No knows the in and outs of what you share with your husband to be. The best in your face is to have a loving and happy marriage. I used to say I won't marry any man from Ja because they come here and then give all kind of hell. But I look at it this way, a man here can put your through all kind of hell. Live you life for you and not for anyone else, if they don't like how you live your life, they can keep it to themselves. Cheer up and feel better

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Hello Damniecy...I agree..ppl are such emotional suckers!!

[damniecy 0]

Hi Hotlegz

My best friend was a pain in the #### when I was somewhat planning my wedding, and I was pregnant. So I told here to let me know whats up because the wedding will go on with or without her.

[sus 70]

Welcome Damniecy - I think I missed you joining - No overstepping bounds here - just dive right in!

And I agree with you -

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Hi Hotlegz

My best friend was a pain in the #### when I was somewhat planning my wedding, and I was pregnant. So I told here to let me know whats up because the wedding will go on with or without her.

That's exactly, sounds like exactly what i would do..out a order

[damniecy 0]

Welcome Damniecy - I think I missed you joining - No overstepping bounds here - just dive right in!

And I agree with you -

Thanks for the welcome Sus

[JaHoney 3]

Ladies you are all right and normally i pride myself on being a Phock it kind of person, if you dont like what i do, phock u...LOL.. you know, for a year i have heard all types of snide comments, stella this, greencard that, and trust me i have thought long and hard, i have prayed and cried and prayed some more, i have given people the opportunity to accept it or keep it moving. I thought the issue would come from my mom, and surprisingly she was the one accepting.

This chick is my one of my oldest and dearest friends, i have tried really hard to always be supportive of her, she has a 2 year old child by a guy we went to college with, what she didnt know when she got with him was he had 5 other kids in 3 states, had developed a cocaine habit and is unemployed, his mother who is 70 continues to work to pay his child support to keep him outta jail... when all this came out,she was embarassed to tell me and mad at herself for allowing herself to get in this situation, this man has not even seen his own child, but guess what i never once said anything to make her feel bad, i just embraced her and made that baby my first god child.. so yeah i understand her wanting me to be smart and protected but when i read her email literally i felt like i was deflating... as dramatic as that sounds....LOL... she will not be there for the wedding. She feels that i will be taking care of D, she feels that he should be paying for me to go to JA, all these things she was saying and hell i wasnt about to sit back and justify all these things to her because i dont feel like i have too... again i will get over it and be ok, but its gonna take a minute for the hurt to go away

Damniecy your not overstepping your boundaries, and i dont want you all to feel like im coming here for validation it just seems as if the only place that people can relate to you is here on VJ, if i didnt have you all to post this frustration i would be somewhere crying and mad as hell...LOL

[Shemmy 4]

Hi Hotlegz

My best friend was a pain in the #### when I was somewhat planning my wedding, and I was pregnant. So I told here to let me know whats up because the wedding will go on with or without her.

That's exactly, sounds like exactly what i would do..out a order

I agree. My best friend was not invited to my wedding because of her husband. He said some mean things about Damien before he came here. I got mad at her because she repeated them to me. I did not want any negative vibes on our day or in our lives. She cried like a baby when she saw the pictures. Oh well...

[Shemmy 4]

Ladies you are all right and normally i pride myself on being a Phock it kind of person, if you dont like what i do, phock u...LOL.. you know, for a year i have heard all types of snide comments, stella this, greencard that, and trust me i have thought long and hard, i have prayed and cried and prayed some more, i have given people the opportunity to accept it or keep it moving. I thought the issue would come from my mom, and surprisingly she was the one accepting.

This chick is my one of my oldest and dearest friends, i have tried really hard to always be supportive of her, she has a 2 year old child by a guy we went to college with, what she didnt know when she got with him was he had 5 other kids in 3 states, had developed a cocaine habit and is unemployed, his mother who is 70 continues to work to pay his child support to keep him outta jail... when all this came out,she was embarassed to tell me and mad at herself for allowing herself to get in this situation, this man has not even seen his own child, but guess what i never once said anything to make her feel bad, i just embraced her and made that baby my first god child.. so yeah i understand her wanting me to be smart and protected but when i read her email literally i felt like i was deflating... as dramatic as that sounds....LOL... she will not be there for the wedding. She feels that i will be taking care of D, she feels that he should be paying for me to go to JA, all these things she was saying and hell i wasnt about to sit back and justify all these things to her because i dont feel like i have too... again i will get over it and be ok, but its gonna take a minute for the hurt to go away

Damniecy your not overstepping your boundaries, and i dont want you all to feel like im coming here for validation it just seems as if the only place that people can relate to you is here on VJ, if i didnt have you all to post this frustration i would be somewhere crying and mad as hell...LOL

Honey - you will learn who your real friends are during this process. It took awhile before some of friends true colors showed...the same ones who supported me. They are still surpised Damien and I are together which lets me know they had doubts.

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

Ladies you are all right and normally i pride myself on being a Phock it kind of person, if you dont like what i do, phock u...LOL.. you know, for a year i have heard all types of snide comments, stella this, greencard that, and trust me i have thought long and hard, i have prayed and cried and prayed some more, i have given people the opportunity to accept it or keep it moving. I thought the issue would come from my mom, and surprisingly she was the one accepting.

This chick is my one of my oldest and dearest friends, i have tried really hard to always be supportive of her, she has a 2 year old child by a guy we went to college with, what she didnt know when she got with him was he had 5 other kids in 3 states, had developed a cocaine habit and is unemployed, his mother who is 70 continues to work to pay his child support to keep him outta jail... when all this came out,she was embarassed to tell me and mad at herself for allowing herself to get in this situation, this man has not even seen his own child, but guess what i never once said anything to make her feel bad, i just embraced her and made that baby my first god child.. so yeah i understand her wanting me to be smart and protected but when i read her email literally i felt like i was deflating... as dramatic as that sounds....LOL... she will not be there for the wedding. She feels that i will be taking care of D, she feels that he should be paying for me to go to JA, all these things she was saying and hell i wasnt about to sit back and justify all these things to her because i dont feel like i have too... again i will get over it and be ok, but its gonna take a minute for the hurt to go awayDamniecy your not overstepping your boundaries, and i dont want you all to feel like im coming here for validation it just seems as if the only place that people can relate to you is here on VJ, if i didnt have you all to post this frustration i would be somewhere crying and mad as hell...LOL

Honey...this is understandable. We sometimes put more value on our closest friendships because we allow them to know us in a way that even our family may not know us. Which is why when they do or say something to hurt us, it is 10 x's worse than if it was told to us by our mom or dad or whoever. I pray that she will come to accept your decision, and that she will come to know and love D the way that you have.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Hi Hotlegz

My best friend was a pain in the #### when I was somewhat planning my wedding, and I was pregnant. So I told here to let me know whats up because the wedding will go on with or without her.

That's exactly, sounds like exactly what i would do..out a order

I agree. My best friend was not invited to my wedding because of her husband. He said some mean things about Damien before he came here. I got mad at her because she repeated them to me. I did not want any negative vibes on our day or in our lives. She cried like a baby when she saw the pictures. Oh well...

The nerve of some people...really dem need fi go dead a bush

honey; do your thing