Are Hugs the New Handshakes?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

By Laura Fitzpatrick

If White House etiquette is any indication, you should be getting a random hug soon. The Obama family was always cuddly on the campaign trail, and last month the President bestowed no fewer than nine hugs on senior male staffers at a single meeting.

The Hugger in Chief didn't start the trend. At work and at school, even on first introductions--at least among the latest inhabitants of The Real World--the hug is gaining ground on the handshake. There are many iterations, including the hip-hop hug (a manly shake-and-squeeze combo), the a$$-out hug (an awkward ordeal that precludes genital contact) and, for someone you're really close to, the full frontal (your standard bear hug). The big squeeze has been on the rise at least since 2006, when the Free Hugs campaign exploded worldwide. It got another boost last year, when hikers from Ohio and Pennsylvania started the Hugs for Humanity project, walking across America to deliver a million hugs. And yet another when John McCain and Sarah Palin embraced, however stiffly, at campaign rallies.

Why have we caught the hug bug? Mental-health professionals cite everything from increasing population density to community spirit among millennials. Some theories point to 9/11 bringing the country together and to The Sopranos showing that tough guys can hug too. More recently, the hit show Entourage prompted fans to "hug it out, b!tch" (a tagline now immortalized on T shirts). "I'd always welcome a hug," says Aaron Schutte, a senior at Iowa's Wartburg College and founder of the 2,500-member Facebook group I Love a Good Hug. "Why not?"

Of course, hugging has its haters. Schools in a handful of states have banned the gesture, with a middle-school principal in Oak Park, Ill., explaining back in 2007 that groups of students--typically girls--were jamming the hallways with "extreme hugging" and making other kids late for class.

And let's not forget the increasing popularity of workplace hugs, which can be especially confusing, notes Susan Dunn, an executive coach in Dallas. "I have to say, 'O.K., there's a hug, and then there's a hug,'" she notes, the kind that can get HR involved. Nearly half the respondents in an October survey on the business-networking site Greenlight Community copped to hugging co-workers. But with the other half still greeting palm to palm, the consequences of a mismatched gesture can be painful--and not just because of the possible harassment suit. On the site Miss(ed) Manners, etiquette blogger "Dave" recalled extending a hand to a client who simultaneously went for a hug. The unfortunate outcome? "I punched her right in the crotch."

THE FULL FRONTAL Total body contact, heart-to-heart embrace and firm squeeze. For parents, children and good friends

THE A$$-OUT HUG Nothing touches below the shoulders. Reserved for the office, bad dates and references to Vince Vaughn

THE HIP-HOP HUG A.k.a. the man hug and the hetero hug. Shake with right hand and hug with left, two slaps on the back

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/...1879201,00.html

Edited February 16, 2009 by Mister Fancypants

[pedroh 21]

that's for yall nonlatinos lol

[one...two...tree 2,762]

that's for yall nonlatinos lol

For me, it's seems like the natural progression when typically a woman and man will hug as well as two women, but two men used to shake hands....seems a bit homophobic.

[Peikko 1,575]

I think I might be a bit hugophobic - certainly as a way to greet people I hardly know.

[Ms. Squirrel 11]

Man hugs are cool too!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I think I might be a bit hugophobic - certainly as a way to greet people I hardly know.

Oh, I'd go right in for the bear hug if I met you in person.

Edited February 16, 2009 by Mister Fancypants

[Peikko 1,575]

I think I might be a bit hugophobic - certainly as a way to greet people I hardly know.

Oh, I'd go right in for the bear hug if I met you in person.

[Nagishkaw 510]

I think I might be a bit hugophobic - certainly as a way to greet people I hardly know.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

It's the typical greeting around here. Hug, hug, kiss, kiss. Nobody wants to put down what's in their hand long enough to shake your hand.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

It's the typical greeting around here. Hug, hug, kiss, kiss. Nobody wants to put down what's in their hand long enough to shake your hand.

A hand shake is just odd, IMO, and no less intrusive. Except in extremely formal settings, I never see two women shaking hands.

[Peikko 1,575]

It's the typical greeting around here. Hug, hug, kiss, kiss. Nobody wants to put down what's in their hand long enough to shake your hand.

A hand shake is just odd, IMO, and no less intrusive. Except in extremely formal settings, I never see two women shaking hands.

Seriously? It's not something I have thought about as gender specific and to be quite honest, in business women often shake hands. Not that I think hand shaking should carry on as a greeting, I am all for the 'hands off' greeting unless you are good friends

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode with the "kiss hello".

Why not have an intercourse greeting?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

It's the typical greeting around here. Hug, hug, kiss, kiss. Nobody wants to put down what's in their hand long enough to shake your hand.

A hand shake is just odd, IMO, and no less intrusive. Except in extremely formal settings, I never see two women shaking hands.

Seriously? It's not something I have thought about as gender specific and to be quite honest, in business women often shake hands. Not that I think hand shaking should carry on as a greeting, I am all for the 'hands off' greeting unless you are good friends

So if you were hosting a party at your home and your invited guests arrive, you would shake their hand?

Edited February 16, 2009 by Mister Fancypants

[Peikko 1,575]

No. I would probably say hi to anyone I was only acquainted with and hug someone I knew really well but that's not business Mr Pants

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode with the "kiss hello".

Why not have an intercourse greeting?

That was the seventies! (The time before AIDS)