battle baby custody

[jarl 0]

hello everyone,

i am in struggle for fighting the custody of my 7months baby, i left in the house reason he used his hand on me.i have police report. at 2nd day after i left at house he file ristraining order and devorce on me. i received the said paper when meet him to borrow the other car?

i am so worried i dont have money and i dont have job now?

i am living to my friends house for now? is this ground he can take the baby.. please advice i dont have money to pay for and other expenses,

jarl

[Joe_&_Nadiya 1]

hello everyone,

i am in struggle for fighting the custody of my 7months baby, i left in the house reason he used his hand on me.i have police report. at 2nd day after i left at house he file ristraining order and devorce on me. i received the said paper when meet him to borrow the other car?

i am so worried i dont have money and i dont have job now?

i am living to my friends house for now? is this ground he can take the baby.. please advice i dont have money to pay for and other expenses,

jarl

Complicated case....

to get your baby back, you need to file a custody petition with the court system. Since you don't have a job, you can always get an attorney from the women's advocacy group (they love these type of cases) as a pro-bono. You cannot under any circumtances violate the restraining order, otherwise that will reflect on your case. It will be a long and painful process. In the meantime, I'd suggest that you get help on a women's shelter where you live. Most of them will work with you and assist you with all the help you need to get your child back.

Sorry if my limited knowledge is not enough to answer your entire question. Perhaps other member here will.

Joe

[Jasman0717 9]

Look for legal aid in your area. They can help find you an attorney so you can fight this. If you called the police for domestic violence this will not look good for a custody battle.

[rheanick 42]

just wondering... Should this thread be in effects of major family changes....

Look for legal aid in your area. They can help find you an attorney so you can fight this. If you called the police for domestic violence this will not look good for a custody battle.

[M. 0]

I work in divorce and domestic violence divisions of family court in NJ. I can't give you any legal advice, but I can explain how the process in my state goes -- it'll be different in Texas, but hopefully not too different.

A restraining order means NO contact what so ever with the victim/your future ex-husband. 100% no contact. Contact can be liberally construed to mean notes left on the windshield of his car, glances across a parking lot or crowded street, hanging out near places he frequents even if he isn't present (his office, his favorite bar, his house, etc.), email, text messages, etc. The only way to communicate with him regarding custody or visitation, without getting thrown in jail (which is the result of violating a restraining order) is to go through a willing third party, such as a mutual friend or a member of his family -- as long as they're not covered the restraining order as a protected party.

Restraining orders are often used by one party in a custody/visitation/child support case as leverage. Also, having a final ("permanent" restraining order in some states) restraining order (FRO) against you is a bad thing. There is a national restraining order database which will have the alleged assailant listed for the duration of the restraining order (some states let their final restraining orders expire; NJ, for example, does not.) If you have a background check, the FRO will show up. You may be denied jobs that include working with children or fire arms because of a FRO. You may be denied a weapon's purchaser ID card because of an FRO. This is a VERY serious issue; you may want to seriously consider seeking a pro-bono attorney. A women's shelter in your area may have a list of those they work with or recommend. Your state bar association might as well.

Different states handle FROs differently. In my state, custody, visitation, and child support are often determined at the FRO hearing, with custody and support going to the victim of the domestic violence. If HE hit YOU, you might want to consider filing for a restraining order against him. In NJ, these would be heard at the same time and would give you a more level playing field. However, (at least in this state) you cannot file a cross-complaint for an FRO if domestic violence did not take place. You will sign the complaint; falsifying any information on it would be perjury.

In NJ, an FRO can be used as evidence in any child custody claim in a divorce complaint; the judge adjudicating your case may allow it to be put forward as part of a history or pattern of domestic violence which could be construed as endangering to the child. In custody cases in NJ, the standard for determining custody is "best interest of the child"; therefore, any evidence put forward would have to demonstrate why it is in the best interest of the child to reside with one party or other.

In family court matters (DVs and divorce) in NJ, you are not required to have an attorney. Many people feel more comfortable having an attorney who knows case law in this specific court represent them. Others use a lawyer who may have represented them in other cases (immigration, civil, criminal) and may not be familiar with family court but is very familiar with the family. This is okay as well.

When you are represented by an attorney, the attorney files all paperwork and speaks to the court on your behalf. Only if your attorney allows you to speak to the judge can you speak to the judge. Because some litigants are not comfortable with giving anyone this level of control or power over their lives, many litigants choose to go pro se (without an attorney). This is fine too -- plenty of litigants in family court matters are very successful putting forward their own case. I was married once before David, and I opted not to have an attorney when I got divorced from my first husband. Not everyone is comfortable with this option, and while we can all opine as to whether or not you should have one, only you can make that determination based on what you know about the case.

If you need any more information, please do not hesitate to post or PM. I hope that this has been helpful.