Can I Hear A Amen

[brnidokiegurl 0]

You have two choices in life:

You can stay single and be miserable,

or get married and wish you were dead.

__________

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,

'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'

'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

__________

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:

'Husband Wanted'.

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:

'You can have mine.'

__________

When a woman steals your husband,

there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

__________

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

__________

A little boy asked his father,

'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'

Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'

__________

A young son asked,

'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa

a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'

Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'

__________

Then there was a woman who said,

'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,

and by then, it was too late.'

__________

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

__________

If you want your spouse to listen and

pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

__________

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

__________

'A Woman's Prayer:

Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death'

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut up.'

______________________________________

[MMW 2]

Those were great!! LOL.

[NickD 202]

Ha, the story of my life with my first marriage, married the girl next door, well the same town about a mile away, and she rushed me into it after knowing her for only five months. I must have been smoking crack or maybe she was spiking my drinks.

[Ban Hammer 13,332]

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

[Jasman0717 9]

[Nagishkaw 510]

[HYENA 4]

Ha, the story of my life with my first marriage, married the girl next door, well the same town about a mile away, and she rushed me into it after knowing her for only five months. I must have been smoking crack or maybe she was spiking my drinks.

Ohhh I got tempted by the black widow...bought a house together and said "I don't" now working on selling off the house.

She "loved kids, didn't drink, blah blah blah.... Turned out to be a kid hater extraordinaire and a serious alcoholic (never drank for 2 years till we bought the house...I'm not a fan of sloppy boozers so I do ask nowadays)

Yeah...shoulda stayed single then I'd be flawless!

Edited October 5, 2009 by HYENA

[Twisted K 2]

[luckytxn 2,264]

What do woman and the Vietnam war have in common?

You can win every battle and still lose the war.

[Pooky 3,781]

Marriage ... the only one-word sentence in the English language.

[Ban Hammer 13,332]

Marriage ... the only one-word sentence in the English language.

[HYENA 4]

:lol:

[Sandrila 1]

i enjoyed reading that