February 09 - VSC

[al-Hubb jameel 0]

I know my sunshines...thank u..but iam the one that got myself into deep $hit..anyways I hope lots of approvals this week

This week is a full moon Maire, and alot of strange things have been happening. Try not to put all of the blame on yourself, we never really know how we will react in a situation untill we are in it. For example, I would love to think of mylsef as a good friend who would always protect her friends, but when i was in Peace Corps Belize I had an inncident that wasn't the case. My friend and I were walking and we got surrounded by guys on bikes who wanted to rob us. At that split second I was a victim of flight or fight response and I am very embarrassed to say, my body chose flight. I took off running and left my friend there with the men. She was fine, but I will never forgot how shocked I was when I realized how I responded. Needless to say, I felt horrible. The point of all that is to say that sometimes we react in ways that we don't think we would ever react in stressful situations.

It is very hard being apart from our loved ones. And everyone here is right, you need to think about what is most important to you.... Is there any way you could take a quick trip over to Cuba to see him and maybe see how you feel?

wow thanks for that....it lifted my spirit a bit...

I am going August 28..so i still have 1 2/2 month...i never thought I could be in this situation...

Richard when is ur SO leaving?

That's great you are going August 28th. What do you have to do to prepare? Go shopping? Get yourself ready?? How exciting.... Also, we can't change the past, so even if you did something you regret, you just have to look forward to the future and try and decide what is best for you and what you want!!

[D_n_M 0]

The weight will be lifted when I am holding the NOA 2. One thing I did find out is that they send out only one NOA 2. If the recipient doesn't receive it for ANY reason. Another one will NOT be sent out. I guess there is a way to get a copy, however i dont know what it is!

[lee b 2]

I know my sunshines...thank u..but iam the one that got myself into deep $hit..anyways I hope lots of approvals this week

This week is a full moon Maire, and alot of strange things have been happening. Try not to put all of the blame on yourself, we never really know how we will react in a situation untill we are in it. For example, I would love to think of mylsef as a good friend who would always protect her friends, but when i was in Peace Corps Belize I had an inncident that wasn't the case. My friend and I were walking and we got surrounded by guys on bikes who wanted to rob us. At that split second I was a victim of flight or fight response and I am very embarrassed to say, my body chose flight. I took off running and left my friend there with the men. She was fine, but I will never forgot how shocked I was when I realized how I responded. Needless to say, I felt horrible. The point of all that is to say that sometimes we react in ways that we don't think we would ever react in stressful situations.

It is very hard being apart from our loved ones. And everyone here is right, you need to think about what is most important to you.... Is there any way you could take a quick trip over to Cuba to see him and maybe see how you feel?

You shouldn't beat yourself up over something like that. It's hard to say what could have happened and it is virtually impossible to fight your instincts once the fight or flight has kicked in.

[Maire 1]

I know my sunshines...thank u..but iam the one that got myself into deep $hit..anyways I hope lots of approvals this week

This week is a full moon Maire, and alot of strange things have been happening. Try not to put all of the blame on yourself, we never really know how we will react in a situation untill we are in it. For example, I would love to think of mylsef as a good friend who would always protect her friends, but when i was in Peace Corps Belize I had an inncident that wasn't the case. My friend and I were walking and we got surrounded by guys on bikes who wanted to rob us. At that split second I was a victim of flight or fight response and I am very embarrassed to say, my body chose flight. I took off running and left my friend there with the men. She was fine, but I will never forgot how shocked I was when I realized how I responded. Needless to say, I felt horrible. The point of all that is to say that sometimes we react in ways that we don't think we would ever react in stressful situations.

It is very hard being apart from our loved ones. And everyone here is right, you need to think about what is most important to you.... Is there any way you could take a quick trip over to Cuba to see him and maybe see how you feel?

wow thanks for that....it lifted my spirit a bit...

I am going August 28..so i still have 1 2/2 month...i never thought I could be in this situation...

Richard when is ur SO leaving?

That's great you are going August 28th. What do you have to do to prepare? Go shopping? Get yourself ready?? How exciting.... Also, we can't change the past, so even if you did something you regret, you just have to look forward to the future and try and decide what is best for you and what you want!!

can someone be in love wih 2 people at once?

[D_n_M 0]

It is possible to be in love with two people at once. You, however, have chosen the one person to be in love with, and you have chosen to marry that person. It is unfair and not right to include another. You must let her go and not look back. My 2 cents is... let her go and don't look back. You will get over her soon, you can't do this to your fiance. Don't make it harder for yourself to keep her in your life...not even as a friend. You must cut her off totally Maire. I think you know this too! You have a lot of character Maire and I know you will succeed during this choice!

[al-Hubb jameel 0]

I know my sunshines...thank u..but iam the one that got myself into deep $hit..anyways I hope lots of approvals this week

You shouldn't beat yourself up over something like that. It's hard to say what could have happened and it is virtually impossible to fight your instincts once the fight or flight has kicked in.

Thanks! I'm ok now and we laugh about it. But you're right...no way to know how you will react in a situation untill you are in it. Maire. I personally don't think it's possible to be in love with 2 people at once, but once again, I have never had to be in that situation, so I can't really say. Do you think it's possible that it's not really love, she is just filling a void that is missing since you can't be with your SO?

Edited July 6, 2009 by al-Hubb jameel

[lee b 2]

Maire, I'd say yes you can be, but I doubt anyone can maitain those feelings for two people for any length of time. I believe it is one thing to have that insane passionate love that everyone has in the beginning. Over time those feelings tone down and there is more to a relationship than the initial passion. I personally don't believe that two seperate relationships can thrive. That is my opinion, but I am a one woman man so I am probably a little biased.

[al-Hubb jameel 0]

It is possible to be in love with two people at once. You, however, have chosen the one person to be in love with, and you have chosen to marry that person. It is unfair and not right to include another. You must let her go and not look back. My 2 cents is... let her go and don't look back. You will get over her soon, you can't do this to your fiance. Don't make it harder for yourself to keep her in your life...not even as a friend. You must cut her off totally Maire. I think you know this too! You have a lot of character Maire and I know you will succeed during this choice!

I think this is great advice, as hard it is might be- CUT HER OFF!! SHE IS POISON to your relationship....

[Maire 1]

I know my sunshines...thank u..but iam the one that got myself into deep $hit..anyways I hope lots of approvals this week

You shouldn't beat yourself up over something like that. It's hard to say what could have happened and it is virtually impossible to fight your instincts once the fight or flight has kicked in.

Thanks! I'm ok now and we laugh about it. But you're right...no way to know how you will react in a situation untill you are in it. Maire. I personally don't think it's possible to be in love with 2 people at once, but once again, I have never had to be in that situation, so I can't really say. Do you think it's possible that it's not really love, she is just filling a void that is missing since you can't be with your SO?

May be...people have told me that...i have fought so hard to be with my SO and when things are so close I can almost taste them...I got to spend time with her and everything just came back....two completely different people..and yet I feel I want to spend the rest of my life with both...ayyyy i dunno what the hell im saying anymore...dont mind me...and my negativity...

[gatoula_tou 0]

Morning all!

Maire, I have done the same thing with an ex a while back. I would break up with him and then out of convenience, get back together. I did that to myself several times before finally telling him "NO, we can't be friends too!" The sight of him now makes me glad that I did it...he's repulsive, not only physically . Anyways, you have to put things like this out of might and out of sight or else it will keep you in the wrong focus. The focus that is your honey down in Cuba! You were so upset when you left, I remember you being depressed in the forum. I know you care for him loads and you need to be strong for yourself.

Al-Hubb, I agree that it's just a filler for the wait. It's hard being away from your SO!

[Maire 1]

It is possible to be in love with two people at once. You, however, have chosen the one person to be in love with, and you have chosen to marry that person. It is unfair and not right to include another. You must let her go and not look back. My 2 cents is... let her go and don't look back. You will get over her soon, you can't do this to your fiance. Don't make it harder for yourself to keep her in your life...not even as a friend. You must cut her off totally Maire. I think you know this too! You have a lot of character Maire and I know you will succeed during this choice!

I think this is great advice, as hard it is might be- CUT HER OFF!! SHE IS POISON to your relationship....

I know...if after soo many years me and her did not work out...because of her drugs, partying, drama, friends, lack of financial stability..why would it work now?but there is something..when is her and me alone in a room...the world could end outside and I would not notice....but on the other hand..i cant legally have a life with her and kids and be totally accepted in society and my family will never be happy..So i really dont know if she is the one iam in love with and decided to marry him for my family and society since he is the first man in my life..and the only one I have ever liked in 24 years..its complicated guys...but I thank u sooo much for letting me vent..

Edited July 6, 2009 by Maire

[D_n_M 0]

Perhaps this is a "rebound" of sorts. Makes you feel better being away from him by being with her. But it is a stab in the back to your SO. Think about if he had someone on the side while waiting. How would you feel?

You should not being doing any of this for society or family... this is about you... this life is yours and you should do what makes you happy....

[Maire 1]

Perhaps this is a "rebound" of sorts. Makes you feel better being away from him by being with her. But it is a stab in the back to your SO. Think about if he had someone on the side while waiting. How would you feel?

You should not being doing any of this for society or family... this is about you... this life is yours and you should do what makes you happy....

iam not a bad person...at all Derek....I have never been in this situation...and it totally sucks...

[lee b 2]

Could not agree with Derek more. You need to do what makes you happy. You shouldn't let anyone else dictate what it is that you want. Your family should be a factor, but ultimately what has to be most important is your happiness Maire. Nobody here thinks you're a bad person.

Edited July 6, 2009 by lee b

[D_n_M 0]

Of course you are not a bad person. Feelings can bring someone to their knees... you need to figure out your feelings and then rise up. You don't have time either... make a decision and then stick to it. It will be hard but the payoff will be great when it is all done!