Russian Customer Service

[Brad and Vika 129]

I know most of the visa processing companies and even the airlines have a "fee" you can pay for "VIP service" at check-in. It's something you pay for before you go though. I don't think you can do it once you arrive. However, one thing you can do is run to the front of the line and push everyone out of the way. That's perfectly acceptable, and encouraged, and it's free!

I was curious to see what it was like, so I paid one of the processing companies for the "VIP Service" in Moscow once, about 7-8 years ago. I think it cost me about $100 at the time. The girl was waiting for me as soon as I entered the terminal. She escorted me past the huge line that was now forming to go through passport control, leaving a lot of people grumbling, 'Hey, what makes HIM so special!?" "Wow, who is THAT guy?", etc and making ME feel like a real VIP. I quickly get through passport control and as I leave passport control and enter the baggage claim, I'm thinking, "You poor suckers.... stuck in line behind me... don't you wish you were ME right now!!!" I then have to wait for my luggage.... and wait for my luggage..... and .... wait for my luggage. Before long, everybody I had passed up in line are all standing around me... and we're all waiting for our luggage together. Once I finally got my luggage I was taken to a special customs station that was opened up just for me, but most of the other people had already cleared the normal customs stations.

So much for the VIP service!

Of course, that was just my one experience with one company. There may be others who provide a true benefit for the "VIP Service", but I always plan my trips to Russia with the first 24 hours or so to be "dead time" anyway -- to allow for delayed flights, etc. So I'm never in a big hurry. And besides, spending huge amounts of time enduring hellish lines just adds to the story you can tell when you get back home!

Sounds like a bad one Seriously though, I have not yet had a bad VIP experience. In Kiev, they figured out my bags were still in Paris, brought the Air France rep to the lounge to fill out paperwork, and still had us out before the first folks could have cleared regular (probably). In all fairness though, I have to say that regular customs in Kiev gave us no trouble either, and we paid much less in a straight up bribe to get past the line.

[Neonred 3,937]

Yep. Every time I go, I have stories. Not just of the "I lost my luggage" variety, but of the "I saw a mob of children wielding sharp and nasty implements of destruction, chasing a gypsy on a bicycle, and there was no doubt in my mind that if they'd caught him, they'd have killed him" variety. (true story btw)

There is always a good story. On my first trip to Russia I was waiting downstairs in SVO1 and of course there is no place to sit so I was leaning next to the windows and just watching people and taking some pictures. Next to me is a mother and her small daughter of about 4 or 5 years old. It looked like the little girl needed to use the bathroom. As I watch, the mother digs inter her bag and pulls out a porcelain bowl wrapped in plastic. She unwraps the bowl, drops the little girls pants, and sits her on this bowl in the middle of SVO1. After they are finished the mother picks up the bowl and carries it off the bathroom. She comes back and wraps it up and sticks it back in the plaid plastic bag the doubles as luggage.

I told this story to my girl after I arrived, and she swore they were not Russians! The very next day we are walking down the street and I spot a little boy and his father that have just stopped to let the boy take a leak in the grass just next to the sidewalk. Of course I had to ask if she thought they were not Russians also.

[slim 1,533]

I was walking down the street in Moscow after a long night of drinking with a group of new friends and had to take a leak. So, I turned to the nearest building, whipped it out and let it flow. They started cheering!

OK? So I made pee pee. That's great. What's the big deal?

I was peeing on the Duma.

[Rob_Lesya 4]

That's what it's all about, the story!

So many good stories from over there. And when I say good, I mean interesting, not pleasant or heart-warming. More of a "WooooW! That really happened?" type story than anything.

Oh, after traveling to Russia and the FSU for over 20 years I could literally write VOLUMES!! Hmmm... about peeing (on the Metro platform ) about gypsy kids (again on the Metro ) and about soooo many other topics.

Some day we'll have to have a VJ "get together" and share the stories that can't be told on the VJ forum!

Teaser -- the Hungry Duck might still exist... but it's just not the same....

But what you're alluding to is the fact that it takes a certain kind of attitude to be able to happily travel there. To be able to laugh at the situation, to go with the flow, to consider whatever happens as simply being part of the adventure. I always tell everyone... if you're the kind of person who demands a certain level of comfort, a certain level of service, or for things to be on a definite schedule.... don't travel to that part of the world because you'll be miserable.

Makes me think of the lady I saw once in one of the cafes at the Rossiya. She was middle-aged, obviously American (from the upper mid-west), and was arguing with the waitress that this Russian dish she had ordered wasn't prepared correctly because she had "read in a guidebook that this dish should contain blah blah blah.... and the dish they gave her didn't contain blah, blah, blah so obviously these Russians didn't know how to prepare this Russian national dish".

It made me embarrased to be an American!

[Brad and Vika 129]

That's what it's all about, the story!

So many good stories from over there. And when I say good, I mean interesting, not pleasant or heart-warming. More of a "WooooW! That really happened?" type story than anything.

Oh, after traveling to Russia and the FSU for over 20 years I could literally write VOLUMES!! Hmmm... about peeing (on the Metro platform ) about gypsy kids (again on the Metro ) and about soooo many other topics.

Some day we'll have to have a VJ "get together" and share the stories that can't be told on the VJ forum!

Teaser -- the Hungry Duck might still exist... but it's just not the same....

But what you're alluding to is the fact that it takes a certain kind of attitude to be able to happily travel there. To be able to laugh at the situation, to go with the flow, to consider whatever happens as simply being part of the adventure. I always tell everyone... if you're the kind of person who demands a certain level of comfort, a certain level of service, or for things to be on a definite schedule.... don't travel to that part of the world because you'll be miserable.

Makes me think of the lady I saw once in one of the cafes at the Rossiya. She was middle-aged, obviously American (from the upper mid-west), and was arguing with the waitress that this Russian dish she had ordered wasn't prepared correctly because she had "read in a guidebook that this dish should contain blah blah blah.... and the dish they gave her didn't contain blah, blah, blah so obviously these Russians didn't know how to prepare this Russian national dish".

It made me embarrased to be an American!

The first time I visited Minsk on business, I traveled with a group of four Americans, one of whom was a guy from my company. He had never been out of the US before, and was definitely in over his head. Belarus is one of the few places I have been where you can easily find yourself in a place where no one (not even a kid) speaks English. This guy would speak in English, and when the Belarussian listener obviously didn't understand he would gradually raise his voice. If that didn't work he tried sign language. He also tended to say fairly rude things around the people (notably women) who did speak English, usually before he was aware of it. Although this behavior can be entertaining at times to watch, it can also make me uncomfortable to be from the same country as the speaker. I learned while traveling with my family as a teen that you should always assume that everyone around you speaks whatever language you are speaking. It keeps you out of trouble.

[Brad and Vika 129]

I learned while traveling with my family as a teen that you should always assume that everyone around you speaks whatever language you are speaking. It keeps you out of trouble.

My Ukrainian friend told me a story about being in a night club here in the states, and she and her girl friend were both speaking Russian about a guy right next to them. I guess they were talking pretty dirty, and the guy was obviously an American and had been talking in English with his friends the whole time. Then after awhile he turned to the girls, and in perfect Russian explained to them that he thought their conversation was very interesting, but he would never want anything to do with such women who speak like filthy whores. She said she was so shocked that she forgot to be a Russian woman and slap him.

The question this begs is.... did she apologize at all? If I were a bettin' man.....

[Brad and Vika 129]

The question this begs is.... did she apologize at all? If I were a bettin' man.....

I don't think so...I think she said they were so embarrassed that they just left the club.

Next best thing to an apology I guess. The guy no doubt had some satisfaction watching them flee the scene. I can only guess what the response of two similarly placed American girls would have been. Maybe giggles and a coy comment about it being a compliment?

[slim 1,533]

The question this begs is.... did she apologize at all? If I were a bettin' man.....

I don't think so...I think she said they were so embarrassed that they just left the club.

I think I would've been leaving the club with two filthy whores.

[Brad and Vika 129]

The question this begs is.... did she apologize at all? If I were a bettin' man.....

I don't think so...I think she said they were so embarrassed that they just left the club.

I think I would've been leaving the club with two filthy whores.

Or hear "you so stupid man think because I say you dirty words in Russian I wanna you just because you understand?"

[slim 1,533]

Or hear "you so stupid man think because I say you dirty words in Russian I wanna you just because you understand?"

Of the few times that I've understood Russian women at a club here in the U.S., they've been very impressed, to say the least.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Or hear "you so stupid man think because I say you dirty words in Russian I wanna you just because you understand?"

Of the few times that I've understood Russian women at a club here in the U.S., they've been very impressed, to say the least.

I'll take your word for it, as we have had this discussion before. Clubbin' isn't a favorite activity of mine, and never has been - but if you can pick up women by calling them filthy whores, you da man.

[slim 1,533]

- but if you can pick up women by calling them filthy whores, you da man.

Yeah, they usually like that sort of thing. (Still trying to get mox's "visitors" fired up....)

[K1researcher 0]

on a movie note again...

i have noticed most Russian Blu-Rays have English subs! and are region ABC playing in american players...

just fyi

[slim 1,533]

I'm going to fight the Blu-Ray invasion as long as possible. It's still previously-viewed or bootleg for me!

[K1researcher 0]

you could get pre-viewed blu-ray ;-)

I switched for the audio and video quality which as a movie love was totally worth it for me. Netflix rent blu-rays too :-)