His family is forcing him into wedding annulment, before AOS interview.

[Cacerez 19]

Thanks Sereia.

Can someone please confirm this?

I don't think USCIS would know about the divorce unless you or your husband informed them of it.

If he gets the divorce without me, god knows what they will use for grounds, no? I am scared of something like this. Can I sign papers while abroad if they send me, or does it have to be in front of a judge or legal person here?

If you really want to stay in the US, I would spend your time/money on an immigration lawyer to help you adjust status rather than on a divorce lawyer

I want to. But from what has been said here, I am losing my hopes. How would I do it?

I don't think USCIS would know about the divorce unless you or your husband informed them of it.

You can leave the country and your husband can file the necessary papers for the divorce. Even if you abandon it all together and don't leave an address of any kind, there are ways he can go about attempting to find you, and if not, he can get the divorce anyway. It just is more of a pain, requires more steps, and takes longer, but it can be done!

But to make things easier, I would tell him if he really wants this, to go ahead and file a divorce immediately, have you served in NY, give your response, then you can go. All of that wouldn't take much time at all.

If you really want to stay in the US, I would spend your time/money on an immigration lawyer to help you adjust status rather than on a divorce lawyer.

Don't play with the USCIS. Period. They know everything, do have a way of finding out (all divorces have to be registered in public records) and will get you for Visa fraud if you do not tell them.

I might have misread something earlier, but I thought you said you could get a divorce with one year of separation. I got a no-fault divorce (well, it was adultery on jerkface's part but I would have had to subpoena the girl or hire a private investigator, etc, so it was easier (for me) to just go no-fault based on irreconcilable differences) and we had to be separated for 6 months, and this is because we had no children. Each state has different laws.

Either way, isn't there any way you can talk to your HUSBAND (not your high school boyfriend, not your crush, not your lover, your HUSBAND) to talk some sense into him? This seems pretty ridiculous that he's relying on his parents so much if he chose to marry you.

[forced-divorce 0]

I don't want to play. That's not my question. I was just asking a legitimate question, can someone answer?:

when a petition is withdrawn, do USCIS pursue what happened to he marriage, if it ended in divorce, etc? I can't imagine they would bother, as the the petition for benefits were canceled. I am asking because I might one day want to come do a Master degree here, or maybe meet someone else and apply for AOS again, who knows - I am asking if I will have problems in the future if I withdraw my petition now before the AOS interview. Also, when applying for a new kind of visa, do I always have to show divorce papers and how it ended? That may ban me from trying to come again on other visas?

believe me, I tried twice already to talk with him. he really was convinced by them that he made a mistake. I would give everything for us to get back together. He said when we talked that he loves me, and I said the same. But he also said this can't work because of the different stages we are at (I want kids sometime soon, he really doesn't, etc.)

There's no no-fault divorce in NY. From what I read in the internet, the less painful way seems to be filing for a divorce after a one year legal separation.

Don't play with the USCIS. Period. They know everything, do have a way of finding out (all divorces have to be registered in public records) and will get you for Visa fraud if you do not tell them.

I might have misread something earlier, but I thought you said you could get a divorce with one year of separation. I got a no-fault divorce (well, it was adultery on jerkface's part but I would have had to subpoena the girl or hire a private investigator, etc, so it was easier (for me) to just go no-fault based on irreconcilable differences) and we had to be separated for 6 months, and this is because we had no children. Each state has different laws.

Either way, isn't there any way you can talk to your HUSBAND (not your high school boyfriend, not your crush, not your lover, your HUSBAND) to talk some sense into him? This seems pretty ridiculous that he's relying on his parents so much if he chose to marry you.

[forced-divorce 0]

this post repeated my last post by mistake... weird.

Edited February 10, 2009 by forced-divorce

[sib 7]

After reading your posts and the advice given consider the following:

Forget about your husband. I don't think it will work. I would not stay in US depending on the AOS with him. It just doesn't look right. When were you married? When did he move in? ... You don't have a timeline, so there is no information about when you filed for AOS, ...

I can understand that you want to stay in US, but you have to find a legal way to do that. If you withdraw your application you are no more here legally until you have another valid visa. If you don't withdraw your application, more likely it will be denied and then you are here illegally.

Is there a possibility to get a work visa? You wrote you did some professional degree. Are there visas available because of that?

Find a company offering a job with a visa! I know this will be hard and you might have to move, but you can stay in US.

Regarding the divorce: I would just go with the flow regarding that, get everything filed, don't let them blame something on you that is not there, then he can take the blame, not you. And get it done.

If you don't stay in US illegally you can file for other visas in future.

Wishing you luck.

Sib

[forced-divorce 0]

thanks, but this all happened cause I WAS in a work visa and was laid off. I could not find a new job!!!

that's why he decided to marry me so we could stay together.

I have no timeline because I have another "real" profile here... I don't want people here to see who I am.

Should I be the one to file for divorce? Is that important so I have the power in my hands of not be accused by them? Oh man, I am running out of money

After reading your posts and the advice given consider the following:

Forget about your husband. I don't think it will work. I would not stay in US depending on the AOS with him. It just doesn't look right. When were you married? When did he move in? ... You don't have a timeline, so there is no information about when you filed for AOS, ...

I can understand that you want to stay in US, but you have to find a legal way to do that. If you withdraw your application you are no more here legally until you have another valid visa. If you don't withdraw your application, more likely it will be denied and then you are here illegally.

Is there a possibility to get a work visa? You wrote you did some professional degree. Are there visas available because of that?

Find a company offering a job with a visa! I know this will be hard and you might have to move, but you can stay in US.

Regarding the divorce: I would just go with the flow regarding that, get everything filed, don't let them blame something on you that is not there, then he can take the blame, not you. And get it done.

If you don't stay in US illegally you can file for other visas in future.

Wishing you luck.

Sib

Edited February 10, 2009 by forced-divorce

[EtherealVocalist 0]

I married him because I loved him and wanted to be with him, not to get the green card!

Is there any way to still be able to get the green card if he is not willing to go to AOS interview with me?

So... you do want the greencard. These 2 statements are conflicting...

[Old Dominion 26]

Let us know how your meeting with the Legal Aid folks turned out.

[forced-divorce 0]

I answered this already, see below.

I think if you gonna start implying things, at least read the whole post.

What's the problem if the person married for love, it didn't work (not because her fault), lived here for 3 years already, but also wants to be able to stay?

Some people try to be nasty and don't understand what it is to be in this situation.

What should I do? I don't want to leave the US. I married him because I loved him and wanted to be with him, not to get the green card!

Is there any way to still be able to get the green card if he is not willing to go to AOS interview with me?

You say you married him because you love him, yet you seem more worried about staying in the U.S. than you do working on your relationship with your husband and your in-laws. I'm not trying to be mean, but with those two sentences back to back it just seems a little strange.

okay okay... here come the accusations.

Look, as I said - you guys don't know me and you only have my words that may be interpreted in a different way than what I meant.

I will explain my story: I studied almost 10 years to be a good competitive professional and get where I wanted. I got here, which ended up being where I wanted when I finished my studies. I met my husband after a year here. I fell deeply in love despite the age difference. think about it - if my main interest was citizenship, I would have picked someone less complicated...

The thing is I have a life here now, and all my friends are here. I don't have a life back home anymore after almost 3 years here. You see, I am sad, yes, because I thought I had it all till last week: I had a great life where I married the man I love and am super happy with, and I had all my friends and soon a license to look for work and feel more fulfilled as I don't like staying at home.

Now, what is happening is: not only I am losing the man I love, but also I have to leave the life I made here. I have no life anywhere else anymore. Can you imagine the feeling? Not only going through a terrible break up, but also being thrown away from the country I considered mine. I can't deny, it would be better now to be only suffering about the break up part - which is excruciating and devastating enough by itself. Going through that, and also having to figure out how to start a new life from scratch somewhere else, is like beyond what I consider something that can be taken lightly.

I am suffering deeply, I am disappointed with him, and trying to deal with the pain, but I am also trying to find a way to suffer less. I don't deserve to suffer so much and go through all this. No one does, especially when they did all in good faith and love.

I married him because I loved him and wanted to be with him, not to get the green card!

Is there any way to still be able to get the green card if he is not willing to go to AOS interview with me?

So... you do want the greencard. These 2 statements are conflicting...

[3600rs 24]

Thanks Sereia.

Can someone please confirm this?

I don't think USCIS would know about the divorce unless you or your husband informed them of it.

If he gets the divorce without me, god knows what they will use for grounds, no? I am scared of something like this. Can I sign papers while abroad if they send me, or does it have to be in front of a judge or legal person here?

If you really want to stay in the US, I would spend your time/money on an immigration lawyer to help you adjust status rather than on a divorce lawyer

I want to. But from what has been said here, I am losing my hopes. How would I do it?

I don't think USCIS would know about the divorce unless you or your husband informed them of it.

You can leave the country and your husband can file the necessary papers for the divorce. Even if you abandon it all together and don't leave an address of any kind, there are ways he can go about attempting to find you, and if not, he can get the divorce anyway. It just is more of a pain, requires more steps, and takes longer, but it can be done!

But to make things easier, I would tell him if he really wants this, to go ahead and file a divorce immediately, have you served in NY, give your response, then you can go. All of that wouldn't take much time at all.

If you really want to stay in the US, I would spend your time/money on an immigration lawyer to help you adjust status rather than on a divorce lawyer.

Don't play with the USCIS. Period. They know everything, do have a way of finding out (all divorces have to be registered in public records) and will get you for Visa fraud if you do not tell them.

I might have misread something earlier, but I thought you said you could get a divorce with one year of separation. I got a no-fault divorce (well, it was adultery on jerkface's part but I would have had to subpoena the girl or hire a private investigator, etc, so it was easier (for me) to just go no-fault based on irreconcilable differences) and we had to be separated for 6 months, and this is because we had no children. Each state has different laws.

Either way, isn't there any way you can talk to your HUSBAND (not your high school boyfriend, not your crush, not your lover, your HUSBAND) to talk some sense into him? This seems pretty ridiculous that he's relying on his parents so much if he chose to marry you.

The above statement is very very true. I have seen many cases of this board and others where the USCIS has called couples for interviews and issued RFE's mostly because the couple going thru divorce after filing a JOINT 751. They have a way to check local county databases for relationship activity. The things become more nasty with the USCIS when applying for citizenship. I have seen citizenship getting denied along with the original approved joint 751.

[forced-divorce 0]

Thanks Old Dominion,

I just called them and unfortunately they only have immigration lawyers once a month and they are booked for the 18th.

They said I could come and see if someone didn't show up... I will. But no guarantees.

They set up an appointment for me on 3/18, but that's a week after my supposed interview... I don't even know if I'll be here.

I am so depressed today.

Let us know how your meeting with the Legal Aid folks turned out.

Edited February 10, 2009 by forced-divorce

[forced-divorce 0]

I am more concerned about being able to return on a work or student visa in the future, and not be accused of anything because they might file for a fault grounded annulment or divorce. I wonder if when you file for any other kind of visa, they go and check if you are divorced, the reason, etc.

I believe they would check this if I applied in the future for another AOS... but I wonder about my ability to come back in the future.

The above statement is very very true. I have seen many cases of this board and others where the USCIS has called couples for interviews and issued RFE's mostly because the couple going thru divorce after filing a JOINT 751. They have a way to check local county databases for relationship activity. The things become more nasty with the USCIS when applying for citizenship. I have seen citizenship getting denied along with the original approved joint 751.

[MsZ 6]

With or without a divorce or annulment, I don't see how you can adjust status and not be seen as being in a fraudulent relationship. You've never really lived as man and wife. He didn't want his parents to know you were married and when they found out, he caved to whatever it is they have over him. It is unlikely that he married you for any other reason than to provide you a legal means of staying here. The sad thing is that it is HIM who made the relationship a sham, not you. At the same time, to ask him to change his mind would be to continue living the lie. And that isn't good for either of you.

I know you want to stay in the US, but it would seem to me that it is him who perpetuated fraud and perhaps a good lawyer could make a case for that. You acted in good faith. He did not.

At the same time, you are obviously an adult. Could you not see the problem in marrying a 22 YO who does not move in with you when you get married? Didn't that cause problems in the relationship? Didn't you realize that he was not as married as you were? Either you are very naive or perhaps you too wanted this to last until you got your green card. Those are the questions immigration will attempt to sort out. And I suspect that you're going to be on the losing end.

Get a lawyer. Talk to your employer, too. Maybe they can try to help. I really don't know.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Just to clear up some misconceptions, it is not fraudulent to marry an alien so that they have the right to remain living in the USA, as long as that immigration benefit is NOT the only reason for the marriage to have occured. Having read this discourse, I don't get that sense at all.

OP, withdrawing a pending application to adjust status will have little or no impact on any future attempt to visit the USA on a working visa. Remaining 180 days or more beyond the period of authorised status, could impact that ability.

I might be going down the path less travelled here, but the fact that the husband was concealing the marriage would work to her favour in proving the bonafides.

With or without a divorce or annulment, I don't see how you can adjust status and not be seen as being in a fraudulent relationship. You've never really lived as man and wife. He didn't want his parents to know you were married and when they found out, he caved to whatever it is they have over him. It is unlikely that he married you for any other reason than to provide you a legal means of staying here. The sad thing is that it is HIM who made the relationship a sham, not you. At the same time, to ask him to change his mind would be to continue living the lie. And that isn't good for either of you.

I know you want to stay in the US, but it would seem to me that it is him who perpetuated fraud and perhaps a good lawyer could make a case for that. You acted in good faith. He did not.

At the same time, you are obviously an adult. Could you not see the problem in marrying a 22 YO who does not move in with you when you get married? Didn't that cause problems in the relationship? Didn't you realize that he was not as married as you were? Either you are very naive or perhaps you too wanted this to last until you got your green card. Those are the questions immigration will attempt to sort out. And I suspect that you're going to be on the losing end.

Get a lawyer. Talk to your employer, too. Maybe they can try to help. I really don't know.

Edited February 10, 2009 by diadromous mermaid

[rrobin 2]

Even if you make it to the interview together, because of your age gap and lack of cohabitation, you will be securitized by USCIS at AOS. You may even get a second (stokes) interview as well. Do you think your husband, who folded under pressure from his parents, would take a stand in your favor at the interview? He won’t . . . and then you will be charged with visa fraud, which would effectively be the end of any chance you might have of coming back to the US.

Best thing for you to do is damage control. In all probability you won’t get Green Card through this marriage. Your best option is to get out of this marriage without tarnishing your record. Unfortunately I just don’t know how

[pushbrk 13,116]

I might be going down the path less travelled here, but the fact that the husband was concealing the marriage would work to her favour in proving the bonafides.

Really? How so?