His family is forcing him into wedding annulment, before AOS interview.

[MihaelaNYS 10]

annulment would make it like it never happend to begin with right?

yes,

more like ... it was not legit enough .... (if you look at the grounds for annulment ...you will understand why the legal result will be as if "it never happened" ).

When the case doesnt involve immigration issues, people seek annulments because the Catholic Church doesnt recognise divoce and will not allow a divorcee to get married again in Church (or so I heard). ... Get an annulment so you can pretend you are a virgin too. ...

[forced-divorce 0]

It's very simple: we are computer and internet addicts. We stay in a computer even when we are not working. That has always been our preferred way of communication when not together.

While I was working, we chatted the whole day through the internet (while I was at work and he too). When I lost my job, we chatted the whole day too (me from home and he from work).

During the dating period, we would meet about two nights a week. the other nights, we would chat online instead of talking on the phone for very long. It's just the way we are... we have hours of deep conversation this way.

wow, I just realized this may sound weird for most people!

But does it work if you have proof or relationship-dating for one year? I have pictures, emails, phone calls, millions os pages of online chat...

Here's one part of your story that I don't understand. You say that you have pictures, emails, phone calls, millions of pages of online chat...

Well, for many of us on VJ we also have those things because we are maintaining long distance relationships with our loved ones in different countries. So those artifacts ARE our relationships until we can be reunited.

But it actually seems a bit odd that you would be relying upon that kind of evidence as your proof of bona fide relationship when you and your husband are not separated (from your story I gather you live in the same city in the US). I can certainly understand photos and phone calls, that's common enough for couples that live together. But "millions of pages of online chat"? Why ?

[forced-divorce 0]

Why is the annulment disastrous for AOS? Is it because it has to be by fraud only? I read somewhere that not living in the same house was accepted as an annulment reason in NJ.

Why is the affidavit of support important? I don't think he is worried about having to pay anything regarding that. He signed one, but we needed a co-sponsor (a friend) as he was studying in the last years.

It seems although we would have to wait one year, abandonment/separation will be the least worse case, correct?

Can I file for annulment before they do, in the grounds of he abandoning me or something similar?

Wow, annulment sound like more of a nightmare than divorce does. But divorce has the one year rule.

- No, divorce and annulments are the same: the result is ending the marriage (and splitting whatever is there to split - but is not your case...).

The grounds for each of them are different also, the consequences of getting an annulment might be disastrous for your AOS (immigration application).

Regarding the time: if any of them is contested can take forever (actually until one or both of the spouses are flat broke and cannot fight anymore or settle).

If is not contested/uncontested can take less time (depending on the court's calendar for uncontested cases).

And yes, on the ground of abandonment - it's one year minimum (... uhhh ... if you think about it, it takes 9 only months to have a baby).

I believe they will want to work with me so we all find a less-terrible solution for us all.

But well, it's true... you never know what to expect. They already "took" him from me in quite a cruel way, so I should not be naive about how they might behave in the future if it's in their interest.

- Let's cut to the chase. Who signed the affidavit of support for you ?

[pushbrk 13,116]

Asked like a woman in a bona fide marriage? Not. An annulment would completely sink your status adjustment but if you were to accomplish it with that as grounds, it might negate a finding of fraud on your part. The problem I see is that you can't abandon somebody you were never with. Staying at your place for a few days long after the marriage took place hardly qualifies.

Mutually seeking the annulment on some sort of grounds acceptable to both is probably a better solution.

Why is the annulment disastrous for AOS? Is it because it has to be by fraud only? I read somewhere that not living in the same house was accepted as an annulment reason in NJ.

Why is the affidavit of support important? I don't think he is worried about having to pay anything regarding that. He signed one, but we needed a co-sponsor (a friend) as he was studying in the last years.

It seems although we would have to wait one year, abandonment/separation will be the least worse case, correct?

Can I file for annulment before they do, in the grounds of he abandoning me or something similar?

Wow, annulment sound like more of a nightmare than divorce does. But divorce has the one year rule.

- No, divorce and annulments are the same: the result is ending the marriage (and splitting whatever is there to split - but is not your case...).

The grounds for each of them are different also, the consequences of getting an annulment might be disastrous for your AOS (immigration application).

Regarding the time: if any of them is contested can take forever (actually until one or both of the spouses are flat broke and cannot fight anymore or settle).

If is not contested/uncontested can take less time (depending on the court's calendar for uncontested cases).

And yes, on the ground of abandonment - it's one year minimum (... uhhh ... if you think about it, it takes 9 only months to have a baby).

I believe they will want to work with me so we all find a less-terrible solution for us all.

But well, it's true... you never know what to expect. They already "took" him from me in quite a cruel way, so I should not be naive about how they might behave in the future if it's in their interest.

- Let's cut to the chase. Who signed the affidavit of support for you ?

[forced-divorce 0]

The problem is there are NO acceptable grounds for annulment in NY, as far as I know.

All of them are fault based, and the only one they could use on me is some sort of fraud. (The others are mental problems etc) Unless there's another ground I am not aware of... (I read about the lack of cohabitation in one website).

I am not sure I understood your first few phrases: Asked like a woman in a bona fide marriage? Not. An annulment would completely sink your status adjustment but if you were to accomplish it with that as grounds, it might negate a finding of fraud on your part.

Well, he is the one who promised to move in and always found excuses. Isn't it abandonment?

Asked like a woman in a bona fide marriage? Not. An annulment would completely sink your status adjustment but if you were to accomplish it with that as grounds, it might negate a finding of fraud on your part. The problem I see is that you can't abandon somebody you were never with. Staying at your place for a few days long after the marriage took place hardly qualifies.

Mutually seeking the annulment on some sort of grounds acceptable to both is probably a better solution.

Why is the annulment disastrous for AOS? Is it because it has to be by fraud only? I read somewhere that not living in the same house was accepted as an annulment reason in NJ.

Why is the affidavit of support important? I don't think he is worried about having to pay anything regarding that. He signed one, but we needed a co-sponsor (a friend) as he was studying in the last years.

It seems although we would have to wait one year, abandonment/separation will be the least worse case, correct?

Can I file for annulment before they do, in the grounds of he abandoning me or something similar?

Wow, annulment sound like more of a nightmare than divorce does. But divorce has the one year rule.

- No, divorce and annulments are the same: the result is ending the marriage (and splitting whatever is there to split - but is not your case...).

The grounds for each of them are different also, the consequences of getting an annulment might be disastrous for your AOS (immigration application).

Regarding the time: if any of them is contested can take forever (actually until one or both of the spouses are flat broke and cannot fight anymore or settle).

If is not contested/uncontested can take less time (depending on the court's calendar for uncontested cases).

And yes, on the ground of abandonment - it's one year minimum (... uhhh ... if you think about it, it takes 9 only months to have a baby).

I believe they will want to work with me so we all find a less-terrible solution for us all.

But well, it's true... you never know what to expect. They already "took" him from me in quite a cruel way, so I should not be naive about how they might behave in the future if it's in their interest.

- Let's cut to the chase. Who signed the affidavit of support for you ?

[forced-divorce 0]

Question:

If I just withdraw my application for AOS... and then wait to see what we decide with the divorce-annulment later...

Does USCIS gets reports on what happened to a divorce that is not petitioning for adjustment of status? How would anyone know, outside divorce court, what happened with the case? (That unless if I will ask for another AOS in the future and have to show the divorce papers)

Another question is: what does a foreigner do when he is waiting for divorce - annulments to be done and he wants to leave the country? Does the process get judged without him necessarily, as if he abandoned the country? Can he leave a contact address, even if it's not in the US?

[pushbrk 13,116]

I mean you can't have it both ways. You are either in a bona fide marriage relationship or you're not. If you're considering yourself abandoned, you're not in a bona fide relationship. You need a family law attorney and an immigration law attorney to help you, tomorrow. In both cases, it is to protect your future ability to enter the USA, not to help you get a green card. That's not really a viable option anymore.

The problem is there are NO acceptable grounds for annulment in NY, as far as I know.

All of them are fault based, and the only one they could use on me is some sort of fraud. (The others are mental problems etc) Unless there's another ground I am not aware of... (I read about the lack of cohabitation in one website).

I am not sure I understood your first few phrases: Asked like a woman in a bona fide marriage? Not. An annulment would completely sink your status adjustment but if you were to accomplish it with that as grounds, it might negate a finding of fraud on your part.

Well, he is the one who promised to move in and always found excuses. Isn't it abandonment?

Asked like a woman in a bona fide marriage? Not. An annulment would completely sink your status adjustment but if you were to accomplish it with that as grounds, it might negate a finding of fraud on your part. The problem I see is that you can't abandon somebody you were never with. Staying at your place for a few days long after the marriage took place hardly qualifies.

Mutually seeking the annulment on some sort of grounds acceptable to both is probably a better solution.

Why is the annulment disastrous for AOS? Is it because it has to be by fraud only? I read somewhere that not living in the same house was accepted as an annulment reason in NJ.

Why is the affidavit of support important? I don't think he is worried about having to pay anything regarding that. He signed one, but we needed a co-sponsor (a friend) as he was studying in the last years.

It seems although we would have to wait one year, abandonment/separation will be the least worse case, correct?

Can I file for annulment before they do, in the grounds of he abandoning me or something similar?

Wow, annulment sound like more of a nightmare than divorce does. But divorce has the one year rule.

- No, divorce and annulments are the same: the result is ending the marriage (and splitting whatever is there to split - but is not your case...).

The grounds for each of them are different also, the consequences of getting an annulment might be disastrous for your AOS (immigration application).

Regarding the time: if any of them is contested can take forever (actually until one or both of the spouses are flat broke and cannot fight anymore or settle).

If is not contested/uncontested can take less time (depending on the court's calendar for uncontested cases).

And yes, on the ground of abandonment - it's one year minimum (... uhhh ... if you think about it, it takes 9 only months to have a baby).

I believe they will want to work with me so we all find a less-terrible solution for us all.

But well, it's true... you never know what to expect. They already "took" him from me in quite a cruel way, so I should not be naive about how they might behave in the future if it's in their interest.

- Let's cut to the chase. Who signed the affidavit of support for you ?

[sereia 0]

FORGET the annulment. He, and you, have no grounds for it. You have to prove fraud, unsound mind (impossible), not were the legal age at the time of marriage, you were already married to someone else at the time of marriage, or possibly some other things. You don't have any of those reasons for an annulment. And just because you may not contest his annulment, by no means he will just get it by default. He has to prove it. And he can't so....divorce is the only solution.

[cjgator 2]

A few things:

I read your response, and have seen some, but not all of the responses, so if I am addressing something someone else has already said, sorry. Just trying to help.

First, his parents may be "seeking" an annulment, but they have no grounds to do this. This man (boy) is of legal age, he has to be the one to file a divorce or annulment petition, so although they (parents) may want it, and even tell him he should do it, he still has to be the one to execute the procedure, so if he really didn't want to do it, he doesn't have to. As painful as this sounds, you're better off. He's either lying to you, or he's either as weak and immature as they come, so after you get over this initial shock, you should say "good riddance", and know you are better off without him.

Annulments are very difficult to obtain from a legal perspective, it is more common as a social/religious act in this day and age, to prove gorunds for annulment legally, a person typically has to show that the marriage was entered into under some false legal pretenses (i.e. you really weren't single when you married your husband, you used a false name, address, etc.) So, his contention that "no-fault" annulments are easy to get without a legal basis is actually BS. It's next to impossible to obtain from a state without a legal predicate.

States differ on their laws as to whether a divorce can be obtained via "no-fault" or "fault", but an increasing majority have no-fault divorces. Not sure about your state. One way to drag out the process in a divorce, whether it is a "no-fault" or not, is to dispute the claims your spouse is making about assets. Sounds like a shady tactic, but it's done in a large number of divorce cases, and ususally, the claims of each person is subjective. You are at a little bit of a disadvantage because you were married for a such a short period of time. But, even uncontested, "no-fault" divorces take at least 8 weeks to process from the time of a petitioner's filing to a final judgment, and that's if both sides cooperate. You can do something as simple as refusing to sign paperwork he sends, or avoid receipt/service of his petition, and you can draw out the peition several months.

You should pay close attention to the input of push and several others on here very closely. You are in a difficult position, that will, in all likelihood, be decided on a judgment call by a USCIS official, but you should probably be prepared for an unfavorable decision.

I don't know if you can do the AOS interview solo, (push or others would know this better than me), but if you can, I would consider just going to the AOS interview and see what happens. Don't volunteer information that you are not asked. You're at the point where you have little to lose, and a lot to gain, by taking a chance and seeing if they will go ahead and approve you before the divorce becomes final.

I would not concern myself too much about the annulment. His chances of getting that are poor. I think your best bet would be to find a lawyer who deals both in immigration and family law to get some advice.

And, not to pour salt on an already open wound, but this guy sounds like a worm who is trying to manipulate you because he decided 22 is too young to get married. You're better off without him, whether it's here, or in your home country. Best of luck in your efforts.

Hello all,

I am in shock. I am sorry if my post won't have an easy to understand sequence of facts, but I am not recovered of what happened last week.

I lived in the US for 2 years in a work visa. I was laid off about 3 months ago. My boyfriend for 10 months then, who is a USC, and I decided to get married because he loved me and wanted me to stay - which we did about 2 months ago. I received my AOS interview notice one week ago.

He is 13 years younger than me. Due to his parents, he delayed a bit moving in with me. So, he just moved to my house last week. The day after he moved, his parents found out about the marriage and my age, and apparently obliged him to go back to their house. They "completely disapprove" of us and apparently he is not willing to fight them to be with me.

It seems his parents are seeking a marriage annulment. I asked him in what grounds, as in my state annulments are only by fault. He said this is not necessarily true, it can be done with no fault, but I think he's wrong and doesn't really know it.

What should I do? I don't want to leave the US. I married him because I loved him and wanted to be with him, not to get the green card!

Is there any way to still be able to get the green card if he is not willing to go to AOS interview with me?

He said he will talk with his parents and may go to the interview. Is this a good option?

What can I do about the annulment? Can they do it one-sided, or do I have to agree/sign?

I understand a divorce would be in my best interest? Can they do a one-sided divorce?

I am afraid cause I don't know what happens if I have to leave the country (my money is vanishing)... and leave an open annulment-divorce case.

Also, I don't know what the best option would be - withdraw the application and file for an annulment myself so they can't do anything that will jeopardize my future US entries. My state does not have no-fault divorce and you have to be legally separated for one year to file for divorce.

I can't file for VAWA - he never abused me. He is a great guy who's going through this cause he's too young.

Is there a way I can stay here? Is it worth it? I really don't want to leave.

[mamatom 2]

Can I remove conditions on my own even if I been married with him for only 3-4 months?

Yes, you can remove conditions on your own, as long as your proof of divorce or annulment doesn't include a judge's finding of fraud in a divorce or annulment. Your problem with bona fides is that you haven't been living together. Your husband lives with his parents. If you and your husband reconcile, you can certainly try to complete the status adjustment to conditional permanent resident. From what you say, I don't think your chances are good even if you reconcile and attend the interview together.

Regarding the bonafides, as I said I have a lot of evidence of the relationship that lead to the wedding. (Including pictures of him with my parents who visited the US, and me and his), and pictures of us in friends parties. The only thing I don't have is a joint account because we were going to open one this week. I had money up to now, so I didn't need his yet. If he adds me to his account now, would that be a good evidence? Or if we file taxes together (which I doubt he will)?

But I guess my main question is: if he goes with me to the interview, and I get it approved - what happens if they file for divorce let's say when we are 1 year married in December, and by then separated since after the AOS interview? Can I file any kind of waiver to remove conditions?

Frankly, it sounds to me like regardless of any annulment, your chances of AOS were not good based on the bona fides. It isn't even making a good case in this generally immigrant friendly forum, so I doubt it would make much of a case before a USCIS adjudicator. In any event, unless he goes to the interview with you and you convince an adjudicator the marriage is bona fide, nothing else is really going to matter.

Consult an immigration or family law attorney about how to avoid a finding of misrepresentation. I'm just saying it's bad. I don't know whether or how it can be avoided.

From what you are saying, he himself is reluctant to continue with the relationship, My advise for you is to withdraw the application and get on with your life, I understand how you feel, you don't have a good chance here at all, first of all 22 yrs old is still young and would most prbably listen to his mum and dad, try and withdraw your application and get yourself an older man and get on with life. If you succeed in getting to the interview with him, trust me, anything can happen , they might seperate you two and knowing how vulnerable he is with his parents, you don't want to imagine what the Immigration officer would ask or treaten him to say, and if the worst case you get denied, you will be facing an immigration judge for deportation, and if its in your interest, wothdraw the application, get yourself a mature guy and start the process all over again, its better to be safe than to be sorry.

Some people with bonifide evidences and long relationships have a tough time getting approved or eventually get deported, in your case ,you don't have any bonifide evidences at all, be safe than sorry, let him go, get a new love in your life and stop panicking, there are illigal migrants in this country , that have married and suceeded in adjusting status, get over yourself already, I know its tough, but better think fast before its late.You never know what his parents have on thier sleeves, they, knowing that you need their son for adjustment, they might go all the way toi immigration to report you, be careful, americans will shock you with what they can o behind your back. think very well, and STOP PANICKING!!!,

In the case of divorce after suceeding in adjusting, better be safe than sorry girl, you might not get your approval letter in a few months, it takes 6 months to get the Greencard, so its probably going to be a big mess divorcing 3 months after adjusting status. think well before you dive, not so easy dear good luck

[sereia 0]

Question:

If I just withdraw my application for AOS... and then wait to see what we decide with the divorce-annulment later...

Does USCIS gets reports on what happened to a divorce that is not petitioning for adjustment of status? How would anyone know, outside divorce court, what happened with the case? (That unless if I will ask for another AOS in the future and have to show the divorce papers)

Another question is: what does a foreigner do when he is waiting for divorce - annulments to be done and he wants to leave the country? Does the process get judged without him necessarily, as if he abandoned the country? Can he leave a contact address, even if it's not in the US?

I don't think USCIS would know about the divorce unless you or your husband informed them of it.

You can leave the country and your husband can file the necessary papers for the divorce. Even if you abandon it all together and don't leave an address of any kind, there are ways he can go about attempting to find you, and if not, he can get the divorce anyway. It just is more of a pain, requires more steps, and takes longer, but it can be done!

But to make things easier, I would tell him if he really wants this, to go ahead and file a divorce immediately, have you served in NY, give your response, then you can go. All of that wouldn't take much time at all.

If you really want to stay in the US, I would spend your time/money on an immigration lawyer to help you adjust status rather than on a divorce lawyer.

Edited February 10, 2009 by sereia

[caybee 21]

Just a question, because I'm not sure. If the OP were to go to the AOS interview and she were denied, could they take her into custody on the spot, pending deportation?

[forced-divorce 0]

see, I can't sleep more than 2 hours straight so here I am back.

I should go to the doctor get a sleeping pills, it's been a week I don't sleep well.

cjgator, we have no no-fault divorce in my state. Unfortunately.

mamatom, that's true... after what happened all is too risky and problematic. I understand I should be careful with what they can do. Problem is... they're rich and I know they gonna take a super good attorney. I am the one in the gutter.

[forced-divorce 0]

Thanks Sereia.

Can someone please confirm this?

I don't think USCIS would know about the divorce unless you or your husband informed them of it.

If he gets the divorce without me, god knows what they will use for grounds, no? I am scared of something like this. Can I sign papers while abroad if they send me, or does it have to be in front of a judge or legal person here?

If you really want to stay in the US, I would spend your time/money on an immigration lawyer to help you adjust status rather than on a divorce lawyer

I want to. But from what has been said here, I am losing my hopes. How would I do it?

I don't think USCIS would know about the divorce unless you or your husband informed them of it.

You can leave the country and your husband can file the necessary papers for the divorce. Even if you abandon it all together and don't leave an address of any kind, there are ways he can go about attempting to find you, and if not, he can get the divorce anyway. It just is more of a pain, requires more steps, and takes longer, but it can be done!

But to make things easier, I would tell him if he really wants this, to go ahead and file a divorce immediately, have you served in NY, give your response, then you can go. All of that wouldn't take much time at all.

If you really want to stay in the US, I would spend your time/money on an immigration lawyer to help you adjust status rather than on a divorce lawyer.

[forced-divorce 0]

I am curious: Will I have problems in the future to get any kind of immigration benefits because all this is happening? What it depends on, for me to have trouble? Problems in the future are mostly by denied applications, or does it also depend on divorce result even if application is withdrawn?

Hypothetic future:

1) I come back after the economy recovers and am able to get a job and working visa. Will I have problems getting a working visa if my divorce ends with a nasty ground?

2) I come back after the economy recovers and am able to get a job and working visa. I meet another USC. Will I have problem adjusting status?

In my head, this is directly tied to whether I withdraw my application now with USCIS or not. If I withdraw, and don't get denied, I believe all will be fine in the end, correct? (granted divorce won't end nasty. or do the divorce results don't matter if I withdraw my application now?)

Better try to go sleep a bit more. I woke up at 4:30AM, I have been waking up after sleeping for 2 hours for the last week. I think my mind is processing all the pain and info and producing weird scary dreams cause I always wake up scared. I feel so weak and tired.

Edited February 10, 2009 by forced-divorce