What do you consider cheating?

[Tosh Love 77]

Hi Everyone, I have found out through past relationships and with talking to friends and acquaintances that cheating is defined differently for different people. It is subjective. I personally will be more hurt if my SO found a confidant in another female friend and shared his hopes and fears with her. More so than if they slept together. Sounds stupid I know. but please share with me what you consider cheating.

[raymaga 25]

I consider cheating anything that my spouse cannot share freely with me (involving a person of the opposite sex). I do not consider cheating simply sleeping with someone else.

I would be just as hurt if my husband spent time with another woman and didn't tell me about it as I would if he slept with another woman.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

cheating to me is confiding in someone else emotional or not.. i too feel the same if u sleep with or not

[Nik+Heather 121]

In general, I think that between spouses, any time another person is put before your spouse emotionally or physically, then that is cheating.

I believe that when a couple gets married, their lives are no longer their own, but belong to each other as a unit, and it's not right to break that up, or contaminate it.

Not that I don't think that married people can't have friends or interactions outside of the relationship, but as mentioned before, I don't think there should be anything going on that the spouse can't know about.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Emotional or physical affairs are cheating IMHO. Two rules to live by: 1) don't do anything that you would feel uncomfortable knowing your spouse or SO did, and 2) don't do anything you would feel uncomfortable telling your spouse or SO about, maybe in front of other people. Those two rules have always allowed me to live with a pretty clear conscience.

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

Definitely subjective. Personally I have only one woman friend, the rest are men. I work in the construction industry so all but 2 of my collegues are men. I've been a tomboy all my life and have never related well with women. Here's the thing though, it's a double standard in my life because I don't trust women at all so therefore would have a VERY hard time with my DH talking with or spending time with women.

[CaMhae 7]

Theres alot of FORM of cheating...

Its just so sad and very depressing that U thought that the One U love really loves U alot cuz thats what he/she showed U but U didnt know that he/she is stubbing U at ur back for having an affair with other women....for me I will talk to my man if ever I am not happy with him....We should always be honest to our partners so we can be happy..I know its hard cuz we have a secrets in our past that i believe should be forgotten...but my story is diffrent...for some VJ readers i am not hoping that U will all understand me nor believe me..jusat sharing what i feel and my situation...

I never felt this before but lately I feel that my man is cheating on me

WE used to talk on the phone for many hours in almost everyday,always turn on the webcam 24/7,sharing passwords for everything....but lately he change lately hes always at work 14-16 hrs not really sure if he's really at work....i caught him many times that he's lying....One day I asked him if he has someone new... said NONE,but what i felt is diffrent....I stay strong and everyday trying to be positive....sigh!!!sigh!!!.....I am starting to yell at him almost everyday cuz in my mind and In my heart that maybe if i pissed him off maybe he will admit everything.....I dnt wanna be sad but hes making me sad...almost evryday I am crying thinking if I am going to wait for the K1 visa that he applied or just leave him and go to another country to work and never talk to him anymore cuz im afraid that one day if we got approve and I got there in the US and get married I am scared that we end up in divorce...marriage is sacred for me....I dnt want to get married and later on got divorce thats my greatest fear

For all of U guys who really love Ur Fiancee/fiance take care of them cuz good person knocked only once in our life....

[sus 70]

Oh, sayitonce, I am so sorry to hear that - But girl, trust your instincts - Talk to him about it = But bottom line to it, if you are feeling that something is wrong, it probably is - I have been in your shoes, and thankfully trusted my instincts - because they were right. You deserve happiness in life - if your relationship isn't making you happy, it's up to you to deal with it and make a choice as to what is the best route.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Theres alot of FORM of cheating...

Its just so sad and very depressing that U thought that the One U love really loves U alot cuz thats what he/she showed U but U didnt know that he/she is stubbing U at ur back for having an affair with other women....for me I will talk to my man if ever I am not happy with him....We should always be honest to our partners so we can be happy..I know its hard cuz we have a secrets in our past that i believe should be forgotten...but my story is diffrent...for some VJ readers i am not hoping that U will all understand me nor believe me..jusat sharing what i feel and my situation...

I never felt this before but lately I feel that my man is cheating on me

WE used to talk on the phone for many hours in almost everyday,always turn on the webcam 24/7,sharing passwords for everything....but lately he change lately hes always at work 14-16 hrs not really sure if he's really at work....i caught him many times that he's lying....One day I asked him if he has someone new... said NONE,but what i felt is diffrent....I stay strong and everyday trying to be positive....sigh!!!sigh!!!.....I am starting to yell at him almost everyday cuz in my mind and In my heart that maybe if i pissed him off maybe he will admit everything.....I dnt wanna be sad but hes making me sad...almost evryday I am crying thinking if I am going to wait for the K1 visa that he applied or just leave him and go to another country to work and never talk to him anymore cuz im afraid that one day if we got approve and I got there in the US and get married I am scared that we end up in divorce...marriage is sacred for me....I dnt want to get married and later on got divorce thats my greatest fear

For all of U guys who really love Ur Fiancee/fiance take care of them cuz good person knocked only once in our life....

Sorry to hear of your troubles

[FSSLeb 0]

Anything that would constitute intentional flirting with someone you find attractive. Finding comfort (emotional or physical) in someone who is not your spouse or significant other in a way that you know you would not want your spouse or significant other to witness you doing in front of their eyes... and even if its seemingly innocent, if it feels like you are doing something wrong (or if you know your spouse definately would be hurt by these actions if they knew about it) ..... to me is cheating... so obviously i also think things worse than flirting are cheating too

yes I know this is a pretty hardcore way to look at it by todays standards where alot of people just say "hey it was just innocent flirting"... but Im a true believer in keeping your love pure.... in actions, mind, heart and body.... and while we are all human... I strongly feel that keeping your spouse's feelings in high regard even if they are not around is a main ingrediant in keeping a relationship strong, it generates and maintains he respect you have for them... and usually when respect is given is it returned...

this is what i think anyway

[Mikkel 0]

It's not that difficult for me. I see cheating as engaging romantically with another person without consent from your SO. Simply confiding emotionally in another person, regardless of gender, sounds to me like unhealthy jealousy rather than grounds for genuine concern. Sometimes, especially as far as your relationship is concerned, you just need to confide in other people. It's a natural thing to do.

[Jasman0717 9]

I consider cheating anything that my spouse cannot share freely with me (involving a person of the opposite sex). I do not consider cheating simply sleeping with someone else.

I would be just as hurt if my husband spent time with another woman and didn't tell me about it as I would if he slept with another woman.

I like that idea about freely sharing but do think having sex with someone behind your back as a very emotional ordeal for the parter being cheated on. I have seen what it has done to some of my friends, ugh

Edited February 15, 2009 by jasman0717

[Terca 6]

In general, I think that between spouses, any time another person is put before your spouse emotionally or physically, then that is cheating.

My feelings too!

[Brad and Vika 129]

B)

[Mononoke28 135]

I actually saw a show about this on TV a few months ago and most therapists said that cheating was taking place any time a person hides something from their SO, or spends the majority of the time doing something else by themselves or with other people. Besides the obvious like cheating sexually and emotionally with other people, this also includes, video games, online gambling, chatting online with other people, your job, your hobbies. If they choose to spend all of their free time doing these things while it hurts the other person, that's considered cheating.

It was a total eye opener for me.

Diana

Edited February 17, 2009 by Mononoke28