faithful advice needed

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Mohamed I agree with Rahma and Tamara. When trust is broken it can be healed and a relationship doesn't have to end badly if you want to get out of it. There needs to be some honest communication with each other and guidance in that process. I don't believe Melinda isn't true to you. I believe her if she says she doesn't know it's there. Ex's are capable of many horrible things. It is not her fault if he sent her that video. Talking with the ex may lead to more manipulation of the situation. I wouldn't trust what he says since he sent the video and knows she's married and it's inappropriate. Please think of your wife and Amir here.

[MsMariah 0]

I can understand your feelings... however it is best to NOT make decisions when you are angry or depressed. First of all, if she is reasonable and insists information must be passed to her ex husband, then it would be agreeable to work it out to pass it through you or in your presence at least... especially after a situation of the EX being VERY inappropriate. There must be truth that he is not clear about the boundaries of the relationship he now has of being the EX husband, so you are well within your rights to insist to at least be present during all communication.

I will add that, a few times my EX husband had sent me a photos like this. It was a big shock for me, and I was even single at the time. If my ex husband did something like that now that I am married I would be horrified and hope that my husband and I could work together to find a way to 'defend' our relationship from such a blatant attack.

I have no need to speak with my ex every day and don't see why ANYONE would TRULY have such a need. However, my husband even mentioned that my ex shouldn't even call my phone to talk to my daughter, and that was after he SAW me say, "please, call the housephone to speak with her, thanks, goodbye." And that was the first time he saw my ex call, so ...... I can forsee some issues between my husband and I on this topic and I am sure that my heart is white. However, as for my ex husband... he might be psychotic +/- some intermittant moments of clarity. Which confusion was compounded because I was kind, just stubborn to not return to the marriage.

Anyway, I encourage you to find some safe outlet for your anger (like talking to a trusted friend, exercising, strenuous labor...) and after you've exhausted your wrath in useful measures then take time to think about the whole situation in stillness. Remember, the easiest path isn't always right, and the right path is usually not easy. But it's always a learning experience either way.

May Allah be with you and bring you peace.

Respectfully,

Mariah

[missmissy 38]

it is me again. my other topics got deleted and i dont know why? when some american women write about somthing or man cheated on her all of you support her. but cause i am middle eastern man , they delete my topics

you don't know why it was deleted and you think it's because you're from mena?

lemme refresh your memory: "anyway soon i will post the vedeo with pics of her and her ex and full name of both of them . i am sure some poeple her wants to see it"

the above statement by you is a violation of the terms of service as it infringes upon her privacy. don't try to play it off like you are innocent nor try the race card just because you are from the middle east

Is this your job as a moderator? Sucks to be you and have to read all of this, in my opinion. This isn't even entertaining like some stuff....thanks for deleting the last thread and hopefully this one won't go on and on.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

it is me again. my other topics got deleted and i dont know why? when some american women write about somthing or man cheated on her all of you support her. but cause i am middle eastern man , they delete my topics

you don't know why it was deleted and you think it's because you're from mena?

lemme refresh your memory: "anyway soon i will post the vedeo with pics of her and her ex and full name of both of them . i am sure some poeple her wants to see it"

the above statement by you is a violation of the terms of service as it infringes upon her privacy. don't try to play it off like you are innocent nor try the race card just because you are from the middle east

Is this your job as a moderator? Sucks to be you and have to read all of this, in my opinion. This isn't even entertaining like some stuff....thanks for deleting the last thread and hopefully this one won't go on and on.

pfth.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Also, if you could have been taking all of this ex stuff the wrong way and misjudged the situation and not treated your wife with love and respect as she deserves, then she would have lost her trust in you.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Also, if you could have been taking all of this ex stuff the wrong way and misjudged the situation and not treated your wife with love and respect as she deserves, then she would have lost her trust in you.

[doodlebugg 10]

Mohamed I agree with Rahma and Tamara. When trust is broken it can be healed and a relationship doesn't have to end badly if you want to get out of it. There needs to be some honest communication with each other and guidance in that process. I don't believe Melinda isn't true to you. I believe her if she says she doesn't know it's there. Ex's are capable of many horrible things. It is not her fault if he sent her that video. Talking with the ex may lead to more manipulation of the situation. I wouldn't trust what he says since he sent the video and knows she's married and it's inappropriate. Please think of your wife and Amir here.

#######. Why did you just identify who this is? I had no clue who this person was talking about until your post here. Un frikkin believable.

[Sandrila 1]

It is hard to remedy a situation when trust is lost.

When you are married it is not right nor easy to just throw in the towel.

People get angry, say things they dont mean, threaten.

Certainly we can understand your anger but we are only hearing one side of the story.

You talk about not being a man if you didnt want to "get revenge on her and that dog"

what kind of Man takes pleasure in disrespecting his wife? Getting revenge can only land YOU in trouble.

Hearing one side of the story doesnt allow us to really know what is going on.

Could be that it is a misunderstanding and it is really she that is being mistreated.

I pray that you both may find peace and happiness.

After all isnt that why we get married in the first place?

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Mohamed I agree with Rahma and Tamara. When trust is broken it can be healed and a relationship doesn't have to end badly if you want to get out of it. There needs to be some honest communication with each other and guidance in that process. I don't believe Melinda isn't true to you. I believe her if she says she doesn't know it's there. Ex's are capable of many horrible things. It is not her fault if he sent her that video. Talking with the ex may lead to more manipulation of the situation. I wouldn't trust what he says since he sent the video and knows she's married and it's inappropriate. Please think of your wife and Amir here.

#######. Why did you just identify who this is? I had no clue who this person was talking about until your post here. Un frikkin believable.

He outed himself earlier this week. Olivia didnt do anything vindictive

[livelong_prosper 0]

You had mentioned before that your wife has children from her previous marriage and she talks to her EX on the phone 10 times per day. There could be more than what she is "able" to tell you. Is it possible her EX is threatening her? Using the children as the reason? Scenario: "If you don't talk to me I will take you to court and get custody of the children." Whether or not he can do this who knows, but if he is unstable and a psycho he will say and do anyting to make your wife's life miserable. If that is the case she needs your support not your revenge.

I believe there is more to this than she feels comfortable telling you. I don't know how her previous marriage ended, but if her EX was abusive than he is still being abusive to her.

[Nagishkaw 510]

[Aymsgirl 0]

I'm telling it like it is to both of you. Keep this in private in your own home and sit down and discuss this like adults.

Really does the poster give a rats ####### about what you people think? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! He's hurt and ticked and wants revenge because he thinks that is what a man does. But I am hoping that he is starting to use his brain that God gave him and cool his jets down a little today. His posts were made to start something and keep it going and he knows he did.

His wife is hurt and ticked as well. She's been accused of something that she is saying she is innocent from. I think whatever really happened in their home should be left in their home to resolve. Not from a bunch of VJ'ers who haven't heard both sides. She isn't totally innocent but she isn't a wh*&re either.

Neither one of these people are bad people. They are a husband and wife with loads of troubles and problems right now but they need to settle it in their own homes, in private amongst themselves.

As far as the name, yep he called her out the other day but for privacy reasons they tried to delete some of those posts to protect her privacy. Well, now there is none.

If you have religion then say a prayer for them....thats about all you can do.....

Edited February 6, 2009 by Aymsgirl

[SaadBell 0]

Go to the phone book get you and your wife some professional help, even if you do decide to separate, take care of this problem now. Don't try to fix this mess on your own, get a professional marriage counselor, and sort it out. There are some serious underlining problems here that need to be cleared up.

[Aymsgirl 0]

Go to the phone book get you and your wife some professional help, even if you do decide to separate, take care of this problem now. Don't try to fix this mess on your own, get a professional marriage counselor, and sort it out. There are some serious underlining problems here that need to be cleared up.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

I have been under the impression thats its nearly impossible (but still possible) but rarely that a MENA man will lower his pride and ego to go get professional help. Maybe its men in general, but I have heard often enough that its not something they are usually willing to do.

But as said, Go get professional help!

Edited February 6, 2009 by TamaraLovesAdam