lucky FEBRUARY 2009 FILERS

[SomberCat 0]

Congrats Mumtaz!!

Just wanted to let you know that our POE went well. We made it home on Sunday around 3PM and then unloaded. My gosh this man has a lot of #######... I mean stuff. lol God help me. Oddly enough, they wouldn't let me go into customs with him. They sent me down the road to wait in a rest stop as they said customs was filling up and I didn't need to be there. So, I sat alone while the other 5 people (friends and family) and the vehicles (3 total) all went to customs for an hour. Kinda weird but it worked out fine. Monday morning I had to leave for Atlanta for business and got back last night, so I did the "welcome to the US" on Sunday and ditched him on Monday. lol

[MumtazG38 1]

Monday morning I had to leave for Atlanta for business and got back last night, so I did the "welcome to the US" on Sunday and ditched him on Monday. lol

LOL! Oh how nice. HAHA. Poor guy....well, I'm sure you certainly made up for it once you got back....right ;).

Edited September 3, 2009 by MumtazG38

[MumtazG38 1]

Honestly.....could NVC be any slower when it comes to the simplest of things. I mean honestly now, they can't even mail a darn package and it's been 2-3 days already since they scheduled our interview date.....jeez forward my case already you lazy sons o biatches!!!lol. I'm calling like 3 times a day now and still not hearing those precious words i need to hear..."ma'am please calm down, no need to use up your entire vocabulary of swear words on me...your case has been forwarded and should be on it's way to Islamabad Embassy."

ARRRRGGGHHHHH! NVC SUCKS ROTTEN SMELLY BANANAS!!!!!!!!

sorry....had to vent a little.

[Holliday 4]

I'm going to complain a bit more about sorting through stuff. THIS SUCKS! Why am I such a pack rat? I am finding some pretty ridiculous stuff though. Things like:

- a Saved By The Bell script autographed by Dustin Diamond. That one is a keeper! Heheh.

- My first ever driver's license!

- An essay about why the Canadian film industry isn't very 'good'.

- An essay about Emile Durkheim.

- Paystubs from 2001. Seriously?! I haven't gone through my drawers since 2001?!? I've moved like 4 times since then! My word.

- Approximately 120 Sharpies. I'm not even exaggerating.

I am not having fun anymore! I think I have made good progress though. I have gone through all of my clothes and have everything bagged up for donation that I definitely don't want. I only have one drawer left to go through, so that's neat. So I think I just need to go through boxes of stuff from about a decade ago in the basement, and then I'll be done! Well, then I'll have to actually pack it all, and maybe take apart my furniture, but that will be the easy part.

[Holliday 4]

Honestly.....could NVC be any slower when it comes to the simplest of things. I mean honestly now, they can't even mail a darn package and it's been 2-3 days already since they scheduled our interview date.....jeez forward my case already you lazy sons o biatches!!!lol. I'm calling like 3 times a day now and still not hearing those precious words i need to hear..."ma'am please calm down, no need to use up your entire vocabulary of swear words on me...your case has been forwarded and should be on it's way to Islamabad Embassy."

ARRRRGGGHHHHH! NVC SUCKS ROTTEN SMELLY BANANAS!!!!!!!!

sorry....had to vent a little.

Heeeeyyy what happened to assuming the package sent to Islamabad on August 31st was yours? It might be!

[MumtazG38 1]

lol....would have loved to assume (strong believer of "ignorance is bliss" here) but seeing as everytime I've called nvc each operator has told me that they will let me know when the case/package has been forwarded...I know better. lol. I'll just have to call islamabad embassy today in 5 and a half hours and just ask them whether they have my stuff or not. That's the best way I believe, otherwise I'm just going to be miserable untill like...forever. LOL

Edited September 3, 2009 by MumtazG38

[taj'samericanwife 0]

mumtaz are they asking for another fresh copy of his police clearances?

[MumtazG38 1]

Yeah they asked for that right after they reviewed my DS-230......I got an RFE for it....which totally freaked me out at first! But then when I read the only things they needed were a fresh new pcc and my AOS stuff.....(and had called nvc and made sure of it) I was good as gold. They also asked for it in my appointment cvr letter too. So yeah, we'll be getting that like a few days before we leave for Islamabad......luckily it only takes my husband less than 1 day to get it each time mahshallah....we already had to get it twice as I made him get it much too early the very first time and realized that uscis didnt require it with the I130....so we did it a second time. Both time it took round about 2000rs and 1 day. So whatever the reason for that is......I'm not worried. Maybe thats just how it is in Sialkot....don't really no though. *shrugs*

Good luck to you guys on getting that pcc!

Edited September 4, 2009 by MumtazG38

[vareska 3]

Ladies,

How are you dealing with the fact that your husband is leaving everything and everyone back home? Do you feel the pressure that you have to make up to him all the people, places, memories... he is leaving behind? I am at the point that I can't even listen to him talk about everything he will miss back home, I just want him to be excited about HERE, and I know that's selfish, but I can't take iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

I am beginning to resent him every time he makes a big deal about him leaving, and that makes me sad...

I mean, I know it IS a big deal, but I am losing my mind...

Any advice is welcome

[vareska 3]

Argh, forget you all, you're not here when I need to vent ...

[MumtazG38 1]

Ladies,

How are you dealing with the fact that your husband is leaving everything and everyone back home? Do you feel the pressure that you have to make up to him all the people, places, memories... he is leaving behind? I am at the point that I can't even listen to him talk about everything he will miss back home, I just want him to be excited about HERE, and I know that's selfish, but I can't take iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

I am beginning to resent him every time he makes a big deal about him leaving, and that makes me sad...

I mean, I know it IS a big deal, but I am losing my mind...

Any advice is welcome

Wow....I don't feel that way AT ALL! I mean I always say it loud and clear that....Haseeb you're not a momma's boy anymore, and honestly that's sad if you'd be happier with your mom then your wife...sad and very very awkward! LOL. Actually, I just think of it like this...he's a grown man now...and although home is always home....all adults have to get out and find their own place in the world...can't hold onto mommy's finger forever. And those memories are wonderful...and hard to leave behind I can totally understand, but honestly I'm completely sure Haseeb is going to enjoy making tons of new memories with me and the baby...our own family, and inshallah our own home!

Plus....I left everything I've ever known for him....I left my home, my family, my friends and loved ones, my country........every single childhood memory I had here.....and not to mention BAZILLIONS OF COMFORTS behind....all for him, all for US! If I didn't whine all this time......Haseeb knows it wouldn't be fair for him to whine either.....we're both VERY VERY VERY excited and very very impatient to begin our new independent husband and wife, and even mom and dad lives together! We can't wait.......

Although, sometimes he does get a little sad when he thinks about leaving his mom and being without her for so long.....but I always remind him that he'll have me to nurse him and pamper him and spoil him.....and that always brings his mood right back up.....ahem....obviously this is vital proof that I'm better at keeping him happy then my mother in law ever was...hehe! And she know's it.....and is actually quite proud of me for it.lol

But yeh.....I think the two of you should be happy for eachother and for yourselves.....this new life is a huge opportunity to make even more wonderful and warm memories....it may be a new way of living, a whole new lifestyle....but thats the fun of it. And I can see how your husband might be a bit nervous what with the u.s being completely new territory.....have you asked him if he's nervous about anything because he is a Muslim? Maybe he has some fears deep down about that....like finding muslim people he could relate with or share his religion with....Masques, prayers....Ramadan....Eid's and the likes? Maybe he fears he might miss that the most? If so, do let him know that there are more than enough Masques and plenty of Muslims in the u.s......the muslim community here is vast and he shouldn't fear becoming lonely like that at all! Trust me! We live in Michigan....where the muslim community is teeny tiny...and you really have to "look" and "find" em....lol. But still, we have enough to keep us from missing out on our religion in any way!

And you shouldn't feel so bad for him you know....starting new lives isn't a bad thing V and you're not taking anything away from him...in fact your adding something very valuable to his life...the two of you living your married lives together, and you being a loving wife to him...and him having the chance to be a "full" and "complete" husband to you (im sure we all here at VJ can understand what I mean by that...what with long-distance marriages and what not...and no, i'm not thinking naughty!!!....well, not completely anyways..lol.)! If anything.....it's something to really be looking forward to, I know it sure is for my Haseeb and I. LOL! We can't wait...

You should tell him how it makes you feel when he gets/acts so sad about leaving home....he should be able to understand that it obviously makes you a bit unhappy to see him act that way...when you want to be able to see him be excited and happy about being with you, especially after such a long wait and all. You deserve that.....you both deserve to be very very happy about it...because ah.....FINALLY.....YOU'RE TOGETHER!

[vareska 3]

Thanks for your kind words Mumtaz, I appreciate such an extensive post, I really do.

I guess the problem is that I am NOT the kind, nurturing type. I am the one that shakes him out of his comfort zone. I tell him to snap out of something and I expect it to be so. I am not patient, I don't listen to what I don't want to hear if I don't feel like it is gonna lead anywhere except venting about feelings... I am very cut to the chase kind of a girl. And he is the sensitive type. What cuts me to the bone is when he says "you don't listen to me when I have to tell you something, and once I get there I won't have any friends to confide in". It's not that he has decided that he will be completely miserable here, it's the fact that the starting point of every f-ing thing is how is he gonna deal without with me the way that I am.

I dunno, I am at loss for what to think... I think the two of us rationalize everything, how we should feel and do, and we're missing the best part of everything...

Thanks for being there girl!

[vareska 3]

W girl is here, she will have some wise words to offer, I am sure Just don't tell me I look older than your mother, W!

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

{WhidbeyGirl puts on her couselor hat}

V, he's given you a BIG clue to his fear. It sounds like he took a big step in telling you also. He wants you to listen. I completely understand where you are coming from - I'm the same way, "just cut to the chase and get on with it!" How on earth we both ended up with men who aren't like that only God knows!! So my opinion is pray for patience and a listening ear. The book that really has helped me is the Power of the Praying Wife. I realize we are from different religions but I think anyone could glean good insight from it - religious or not. Another is The Love Dare - it is from the movie Fireproof (watch that too!).

{WhidbeyGirl takes off her counselor hat}

Tell him to grow up and quit being a baby! It's not like he's NEVER going to find friends here!!!

W girl is here, she will have some wise words to offer, I am sure Just don't tell me I look older than your mother, W!

Nahhh never - you look like you could be a daughter (in-law???????????)

[vareska 3]

{WhidbeyGirl puts on her couselor hat}

V, he's given you a BIG clue to his fear. It sounds like he took a big step in telling you also. He wants you to listen. I completely understand where you are coming from - I'm the same way, "just cut to the chase and get on with it!" How on earth we both ended up with men who aren't like that only God knows!! So my opinion is pray for patience and a listening ear. The book that really has helped me is the Power of the Praying Wife. I realize we are from different religions but I think anyone could glean good insight from it - religious or not. Another is The Love Dare - it is from the movie Fireproof (watch that too!).

{WhidbeyGirl takes off her counselor hat}

Tell him to grow up and quit being a baby! It's not like he's NEVER going to find friends here!!!

W girl is here, she will have some wise words to offer, I am sure Just don't tell me I look older than your mother, W!

Nahhh never - you look like you could be a daughter (in-law???????????)

I think his point was that he wants ME to be the friend. THE friend. And I'm just not programmed that way.

Oh, give me the damn book, what was the name again? I need all the help I can get, HE shouldn't be too mad at me for crossing over to your side, that's how much help I need.

Praying wife... what else I won't live to see in my old days, for me to become the praying wife.... ####### I'm married, it's really starting to hit me...