What made you decide to bring your fiance/spouse/etc. to the U.S. instead of relocating to his/her native country?

[EtherealVocalist 0]

OMG - I would be TERRIBLE at learning German. I know French and English. My husband's English is flawless so, i think there is more opportunities for him here in the music industry ( he's an aspiring film composer ) than in Germany... But who knows? We might not stay here for ever either...

[Dr. Obvious 49]

OMG - I would be TERRIBLE at learning German.

Would be? How do you know?

[Sam & Rasta 0]

To be totally honest, the collapse of the US housing market! If my home hadn't lost almost half its value (and all my equity/savings), I'd be selling it and moving to Jamaica. So, plan B is for him to come here and for us to save our money (hopefully he can get some kind of work) and we'll ride out this economic crisis, then move to Jamaica.

My husband has never left Jamaica and would just as soon not leave it, but we know the timing for me to leave the states isn't feasible now. I also think it's important for him to experience my culture, at least for awhile.

Sam

[sara..... 371]

i wanted perviz to come here to the states so that he can work here and learn even more then he already knows about children's cardiac problems......different ways of approaching the problem and repair of it also here a doctor makes much more than 250 dollars to a thousand a month

sara

[ginger1981 0]

I'm guessing she is...

what makes you so flabbergasted at such a statement? parts - in fact most, if not all - of the UK are extremely expensive, compared to here; even after more than eight months I still catch myself thinking or saying 'wow, that's so cheap!' about all sorts of everyday things

let alone things like housing...

I want to go back to the UK as soon as it's feasible, but certainly financially it's making a lot of sense for us to be in the US (although that's not the reason we're here, and I wouldn't let it stop me going back)

Yes - I'm flabbergasted by a comment like this:

"We could both have very poorly paid jobs and survive far better than on one well paid job here."

I've lived here all my life, STP. You haven't. I've WATCHED couples who were always in "very poorly paid jobs" and I've seen how they fare in the US. Two people with "very poorly paid jobs" probably have no health cover; they probably have no 401K's; they probably live in sub-standard housing and struggle to transport themselves to their jobs in an old car.

In the UK, at least they would have health insurance. They could take public transport to work. They would have the advantage of work tribunals and believe me - they could use that in their "poorly paid" US job. And they could live in council housing that is probably far better than what they are living in in the US.

I understand that things are expensive in the UK. I get that. But - IMO - you can't live well in the US on two low-paying jobs. Not long term, anyway. IMO you would be far better off in the UK.

I've lived here all my life too but to think the UK is a fairytale land where all is well isn't quite an accurate picture. I suppose some parts of the UK are better than others...and this is especially true when it comes to the Northeast of England. The town my husband is from certainly wasn't well connected transport wise and if you lived in some of the outlying villages the bus only comes twice a day. On top of that the few jobs there are almost exclusively ag related...which isn't exactly the best paying sector either. Public services are spotty at best, and unless you send your child to a private school the schools are underfunded and are mills to churn out factory and farm workers.

From my experience, people living on low paying jobs where my husband is from aren't living it up exactly.

Anyways, as for Nicky and I we thought initially that the US would be the best place for us to start out. However, with the economy tanking and his job opportunities nil here we've considered moving back to the UK at some point. He can get a decent job and advance without a bachelor's degree...and he seems to think that me having a university education would be a plus. But it goes beyond that...I have three younger sisters and the one sister my husband has has some learning disabilities and issues...so if one of our parents becomes ill I have three sisters to help cover while his mom wouldn't have anyone to help her. Of course those aren't our only reasons but we think it is a distinct possibility that we will move to the UK in the future.

[EtherealVocalist 0]

OMG - I would be TERRIBLE at learning German. I know French and English. My husband's English is flawless so, i think there is more opportunities for him here in the music industry ( he's an aspiring film composer ) than in Germany... But who knows? We might not stay here for ever either...

When I met my husband for the first time, we were walking in central Park and these cute squirrels were frolicking around and being cute...

so I pointed at one of them and:

Me: " Oh... how do you say Squirrel in German? "

Him: " Eichhörnchen "

Me: " What?! " While laughing

Him: " Eichhörnchen! " " Eiiiiiiiiiiiiiiich - Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeern - Chen! " while smiling...

Me: " wow... Such a long and complicated name for such a little thing... "

So, that was my initiation to the German language and it has not gotten better since. And its been over 3 years lol

[kitteh 1]

We have to live in the US because I have some credit card debt and student loans to pay off and I would probably not make enough in Chile to pay even the minimums. Also Gustavo is really creative and I think he is going to enjoy living in Los Angeles, so the plan is to stay here for a few years at least. We do intend to go back to Chile, but probably not for a while. We'll probably end up retiring there.

[BowieChick 0]

Well it's funny because my fiance used to be an "America hater" but that's just because he, like many others, just saw the government and assumed it was all ####### here. But now he loves it here!

But really it wasn't hard to decide. He feels that England is stuck in the past and no one knows how to move on in their lives.. or something like that. He is surrounded by that "Nah, no point in trying" attitude but around here he sees that there's that, "Why not? You can do it!" Kind of thing.

He also really loves the openness and natural beauty of Oregon. He's becoming somewhat of a nature lover.

Plus, I have so much family in America while he only has his mum and sister over there. Not that they aren't important but it would be easier to keep in touch with the two of them from over here than my huge family.

Overall it would just be so much easier for both of us to live and grow over here in America.

[bora bora 1]

To be totally honest, the collapse of the US housing market! If my home hadn't lost almost half its value (and all my equity/savings), I'd be selling it and moving to Jamaica. So, plan B is for him to come here and for us to save our money (hopefully he can get some kind of work) and we'll ride out this economic crisis, then move to Jamaica.

My husband has never left Jamaica and would just as soon not leave it, but we know the timing for me to leave the states isn't feasible now. I also think it's important for him to experience my culture, at least for awhile.

Sam

This sounds like us. My husband never had any intention of leaving Brazil, but he agreed and is happy here. It would have been harder for me to stay since I had a better opportunity for work here and all the other reasons you all know....

I'm glad that my husband has had the chance to live in the U.S., learn English, meet my family and friends, experience living in another country. I hope to be back in Brazil in 2-3 years!

[JelloShotGirl 0]

I submitted to the pressure of all my family and friends here and his family too. ***********big mistake we should have stayed in RP********* he wanted me to stay there................... which I should have, but we gave it a shot and he came here.......................................IMO just trust ur heart and I am not bashing America, but think about it before u get here.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

OMG - I would be TERRIBLE at learning German. I know French and English. My husband's English is flawless so, i think there is more opportunities for him here in the music industry ( he's an aspiring film composer ) than in Germany... But who knows? We might not stay here for ever either...

When I met my husband for the first time, we were walking in central Park and these cute squirrels were frolicking around and being cute...

so I pointed at one of them and:

Me: " Oh... how do you say Squirrel in German? "

Him: " Eichhörnchen "

Me: " What?! " While laughing

Him: " Eichhörnchen! " " Eiiiiiiiiiiiiiiich - Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeern - Chen! " while smiling...

Me: " wow... Such a long and complicated name for such a little thing... "

So, that was my initiation to the German language and it has not gotten better since. And its been over 3 years lol

Haha. Eh, well, a question of reinforcement, I think. German is not a difficult language to learn, just hard to master. You have to have the right motivation to do well in it. If you have no reason to learn it, then no reason to kill yourself over it.

It's been eight years for me, and I still have problems with things I do know better than to say by now, but oh well, can't let it paralyze you.

Edited February 17, 2009 by Wacken

[DI&JR 1]

OMG - I would be TERRIBLE at learning German. I know French and English. My husband's English is flawless so, i think there is more opportunities for him here in the music industry ( he's an aspiring film composer ) than in Germany... But who knows? We might not stay here for ever either...

I am really struggling with understanding spoken German, I am finding reading a little easier, but I think I am maybe too old to learn a new language!

Luckily, J speaks English beautifully, and doesn't give me too hard of a time when I mis-pronounce words; having had French also, my -eu- is, hm, more French

And back on topic, we decided for him to come here because he has more opportunity to teach than he had in Germany...and I work for a university...

[forever_green 0]

My husband wants us to live in my home country but I don't, for two reasons. First, I have a very nice and high-paying job in my country. If he leaves the US, I will be the breadwinner because it will be hard for him to find a nice job. Being breadwinner is not okay with me because I come from a traditional, conservative family. My parents look down at men who stay at home while their wives earn a living for their family. My parents are very proud of me. I don't want them to look down at my man. Second, I want the freedom they have in the US. In our country, people always talk about other people and make gossips. I like the "mind your own business" attitude of the Americans.

[Mrs.Cage 0]

My husband wants us to live in my home country but I don't, for two reasons. First, I have a very nice and high-paying job in my country. If he leaves the US, I will be the breadwinner because it will be hard for him to find a nice job. Being breadwinner is not okay with me because I come from a traditional, conservative family. My parents look down at men who stay at home while their wives earn a living for their family. My parents are very proud of me. I don't want them to look down at my man. Second, I want the freedom they have in the US. In our country, people always talk about other people and make gossips. I like the "mind your own business" attitude of the Americans.

That is so very true...I'm in the same boat. I'm more financially established than hubby just because he cant find a job in Ph that would pay even just 1/4 of what he's earning in US. I wanna give him the dignity of being the breadwinner of the family. So I compromised with him to try it out in the US for at least 5yrs, if push comes to shove, we can always go back to Ph and start a business.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

OMG - I would be TERRIBLE at learning German. I know French and English. My husband's English is flawless so, i think there is more opportunities for him here in the music industry ( he's an aspiring film composer ) than in Germany... But who knows? We might not stay here for ever either...

I am really struggling with understanding spoken German, I am finding reading a little easier, but I think I am maybe too old to learn a new language!

Luckily, J speaks English beautifully, and doesn't give me too hard of a time when I mis-pronounce words; having had French also, my -eu- is, hm, more French

And back on topic, we decided for him to come here because he has more opportunity to teach than he had in Germany...and I work for a university...

I think that is the normal progression. Reading is easiest because you have the most time to hack it out. Listening you have less time, but can figure out from cues most of the time. I think the hardest part is at the first when you have to seperate out the words so that it is not all a stream of blah. Speaking is the worst because it is the only time when you really have to know what you are doing and can rely on little outside help. Sometimes you sound like an idiot, but hey, kids spend years screwing up their mother language before they get it all down. We seem to forget all of that when it comes to adults learning a langauge. Adults are no different than children in that sense. Like children, adults need time and patience and constant reinforcement. The problem is adults just don't have those luxuries children have plus all the pressure to get it right the first time or else look stupid. I guess the best way to learn is just the way kids do, from listening and watching. I'll totally admit I watched a lot of TV when I first moved to Germany. A lot. It was hard at first, but then it just started coming together.

I should mention, I have no talent for languages despite my strong interest in them. I try, but I don't feel I speak as well as you might expect for someone who has studied it for 3 years at uni, lived there for 3 years, and lives with it at home. It's very passable, understadable. I can carry on long conversations, no real problem, but there are mistakes that are dumb that I still haven't completely rid myself of. I need to work on that more, but sometimes I get lazy. Like my husband will speak in German and I answer back in English and it will go on like that for awhile...

My husband speaks very good English with not much of an accent and has for years, but it was hard for him to visit the US for the first time 6 years ago. He said he was never so frustrated with the English language in his life. Even now, he has problem with certain strong English dialects that are not mine or close to mine, but he makes an effort.