SAWASDEE 3 (2009 Thai thread restarted)

[HYENA 4]

First off, I am sorry about your problems.

I am really sorry to hear about your problem. As we all know, all of us bring baggage from our past into our relationships. If BOTH partners really, truly want the relationship to work, they will make the necessary changes within themselves to accomplish this goal. It is not easy to face our inner demons but it is necessary if we want to live a happy life with our significant others. It sounds like she is not ready, able or willing to do this necessary work. Hope everything works out for you and whatever you decide to do. Good luck!

Thanks...it bugs me because over here, a run of counseling can help both parties to see but over there, she acted like I was insane for suggesting it. Thais are prohibited from talking bad anything bad about their parents and family...so counseling is out. That would be my solution...it bugs the daylights out of me the unwillingness BUT I see where she's coming from and I told her it's not bad and there's a thai farang specialist just for this. Seems I'm required to do everything their culture but nothing our culture (sin sod, care for parents, woman's money doesn't go to domestic house...everything for family abroad and nothing for US family and parents)...not sure how everyone else does it but when I open my eyes, (I just read a really long article about finances, risks, cultures and fairness Thai v farang)...just doesn't add up to try so hard and not feel they're trying at all. I'm very disappointed. I also understand Thais look at a marriage almost strictly from a financial perspective opposite to our culture. I also learned someone took a poll and said nearly all think sex when old is disgusting or deviant? I need to ask more and learn more. I like Thailand and parts of their culture very much...but I need to learn a lot more... I really don't want to give up...really don't but I don't think long term it will last without some changes....I can't fly by the seat of my pants not knowing and jumping into a mistake....ugh! If I could only convince her to go to counseling, I'd fly out there now.

Edited February 14, 2009 by HYENA

[AaronLV 12]

Thanks...it bugs me because over here, a run of counseling can help both parties to see but over there, she acted like I was insane for suggesting it. Thais are prohibited from talking bad anything bad about their parents and family...so counseling is out. That would be my solution...it bugs the daylights out of me the unwillingness BUT I see where she's coming from and I told her it's not bad and there's a thai farang specialist just for this. Seems I'm required to do everything their culture but nothing our culture (sin sod, care for parents, woman's money doesn't go to domestic house...everything for family abroad and nothing for US family and parents)...not sure how everyone else does it but when I open my eyes, (I just read a really long article about finances, risks, cultures and fairness Thai v farang)...just doesn't add up to try so hard and not feel they're trying at all. I'm very disappointed. I also understand Thais look at a marriage almost strictly from a financial perspective opposite to our culture. I also learned someone took a poll and said nearly all think sex when old is disgusting or deviant? I need to ask more and learn more. I like Thailand and parts of their culture very much...but I need to learn a lot more... I really don't want to give up...really don't but I don't think long term it will last without some changes....I can't fly by the seat of my pants not knowing and jumping into a mistake....ugh! If I could only convince her to go to counseling, I'd fly out there now.

Rather then ending it so abruptly, you may want to take a trip and see how it is when you are in person. Plus that will give you some closure and not make you wonder did you react because of the stress, or was it truly the right thing to do. I don't really think Thai's are all that different from western women when it comes to marriage, all woman want some sense of financial security.

Tell her what you expect when you see her in person, and see how she reacts. If she can't do what you are asking then call it quits. Just learn to say No and only do what you are comfortable with doing. If she can't respect that, then time to move on.

On a side note, I personally stopped reading the blogs and forums about Thai girls on the internet, it caused more problems and stress then it helped.

[Danno2 0]

"On a side note, I personally stopped reading the blogs and forums about Thai girls on the internet, it caused more problems and stress then it helped. "

LOL, I was just thinking about that as I read the last few pages of this thread. It's been refreshing to see how everyone has been so supportive...

[Danno2 0]

Hey to change this thread up does anyone know about getting a Thai drivers license and an international license for their fiance?

Its imperative my girl get an International License before her visa. She checked on this and believes its very easy to get a license in her home town when she goes back to get her "Verification of unmarried status / Bai Rub Rong Sod " She said it takes 1 day and 500b to get. After that she takes the drivers license to Bangkok (where she lives) and then gets a 1 year International license in 5 days.

Does anyone know about this?

[daboyz 36]

Seems like it would be best to get all the information you can, and then make your own decision as to whether it is credible or not.

I'll leave it at that.

[AaronLV 12]

Hey to change this thread up does anyone know about getting a Thai drivers license and an international license for their fiance?

Its imperative my girl get an International License before her visa. She checked on this and believes its very easy to get a license in her home town when she goes back to get her "Verification of unmarried status / Bai Rub Rong Sod " She said it takes 1 day and 500b to get. After that she takes the drivers license to Bangkok (where she lives) and then gets a 1 year International license in 5 days.

Does anyone know about this?

If she has already had a license for 1 year then she can go to the Ministry of Land Transportation and pay a 50 baht fee and get her License translated into English. This is their international license. If she has not had the license for 1 year then they will not translate. I just went through this. However the interesting thing is half the license is in Thai, and the birthday etc is in English, so it can be used for an ID in the states. I really don't think any police officer that pulls her over is going to know the difference.

[daboyz 36]

Hey to change this thread up does anyone know about getting a Thai drivers license and an international license for their fiance?

Its imperative my girl get an International License before her visa. She checked on this and believes its very easy to get a license in her home town when she goes back to get her "Verification of unmarried status / Bai Rub Rong Sod " She said it takes 1 day and 500b to get. After that she takes the drivers license to Bangkok (where she lives) and then gets a 1 year International license in 5 days.

Does anyone know about this?

look here:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Internationa...dp-t235338.html

[mommymeow 0]

Hey to change this thread up does anyone know about getting a Thai drivers license and an international license for their fiance?

Its imperative my girl get an International License before her visa. She checked on this and believes its very easy to get a license in her home town when she goes back to get her "Verification of unmarried status / Bai Rub Rong Sod " She said it takes 1 day and 500b to get. After that she takes the drivers license to Bangkok (where she lives) and then gets a 1 year International license in 5 days.

Does anyone know about this?

I called them to get the information because that is what I will be doing too. They said bring in the driving license that is valid for 5 yrs and passport to their head office near Jatujak Market/Park (JJ/weekend market), that is the only place that do international driving license. The fee is 500 baht and you can get it the same day that you go to do. I do have my new driving license that have both thai and English but it is international driving license.

[HYENA 4]

Thanks...it bugs me because over here, a run of counseling can help both parties to see but over there, she acted like I was insane for suggesting it. Thais are prohibited from talking bad anything bad about their parents and family...so counseling is out. That would be my solution...it bugs the daylights out of me the unwillingness BUT I see where she's coming from and I told her it's not bad and there's a thai farang specialist just for this. Seems I'm required to do everything their culture but nothing our culture (sin sod, care for parents, woman's money doesn't go to domestic house...everything for family abroad and nothing for US family and parents)...not sure how everyone else does it but when I open my eyes, (I just read a really long article about finances, risks, cultures and fairness Thai v farang)...just doesn't add up to try so hard and not feel they're trying at all. I'm very disappointed. I also understand Thais look at a marriage almost strictly from a financial perspective opposite to our culture. I also learned someone took a poll and said nearly all think sex when old is disgusting or deviant? I need to ask more and learn more. I like Thailand and parts of their culture very much...but I need to learn a lot more... I really don't want to give up...really don't but I don't think long term it will last without some changes....I can't fly by the seat of my pants not knowing and jumping into a mistake....ugh! If I could only convince her to go to counseling, I'd fly out there now.

Rather then ending it so abruptly, you may want to take a trip and see how it is when you are in person. Plus that will give you some closure and not make you wonder did you react because of the stress, or was it truly the right thing to do. I don't really think Thai's are all that different from western women when it comes to marriage, all woman want some sense of financial security.

Tell her what you expect when you see her in person, and see how she reacts. If she can't do what you are asking then call it quits. Just learn to say No and only do what you are comfortable with doing. If she can't respect that, then time to move on.

On a side note, I personally stopped reading the blogs and forums about Thai girls on the internet, it caused more problems and stress then it helped.

Thank you very much for your response. I may be reactive even for western standards. You're right...stop reading the damn blogs-they make one paranoid and misunderstand the whole thing.

To be objective. I understand the sin sod (really). in a culture that once married, they pool their assets and you are accepted into the communal wealth but taking one member out of that, there's bound to be some lop-sidedness on one end or another. No real fair way to change (lack of better word) socialist family unit to many individual capitalist family members without the short stick going to someone.

Next. Many things she's said and many things I've said have been interpreted as BIG no-no's in each of our cultures. After discussion and time, these usual turn out to be minor spats or a little heated communication but all to help the other change or correct their actions. Done amidst any stress at all, it can end or cause a cardinal breech of trust to be perceived and all bets are off, the ring is open, bets are placed. I'm grateful neither of us is a physical person and rarely are voices raised (except by her) but I can understand sometimes I just plain don't hear her or get the point she was trying to make as I continue to do something wrong. We both need more patience and our cultures are very different (more so than I thought). Thai culture is truly complex and ours is, too by their standards.

...So we jump to conclusions, perceive each has hurt the other and continue spiraling down when nothing should have gone wrong in the first place. I have also seen this interacting on the internet...chatting with people who want to practice their English and I break a cardinal rule in their book.

Let me give an example:...My ex wife used to laugh when maybe she'd forget to do something simple and I'd say, "but that's what I bought you for...I want my money back" and she'd say "I was already on sale, you got a good deal...no money back for you, warranty has run out--you're screwed" and we'd laugh our a*** off. In Thai culture, that conversation could NEVER take place. I was chatting online with a Thai friend, talking of my marriage, has she met anyone yet, etc...she asked questions about what I sell and somehow some humor presented itself and I threw in something about when my fiancee found me, I was on sale 90% discount.... This angered her to no end but my culture would have brought a laugh (come on, I'm a man for sale???)...I didn't realize selling bodies is SUCH a sore spot and somehow she felt I brought up the subject of my being "on sale" as her purchasing or maybe also being for sale, too. She in no uncertain terms told me good people don't even discuss the evils of selling bodies, she's not that kind of lady, who am I to think I can address her in that manner, etc. it's not funny, I'm a truly evil devil person and will never find happiness, etc.Needless to say my internet chatting buddy blocked me and has never spoken to me again.

So....yes, I need to step back (and thank you for some of your responses, PM's and also time...) and calm down. The sheer time apart could test the most dedicated couples and I need to remember her smile isn't across the room from me right now. Not to mention, I've had some life devastating financial blows (including losing my life savings to a builder and the lawyer costs are overwhelming...either I pay or I'm guaranteed to not get something back--complicated but I was on the news, etc...built an addition on my house, builder tore the entire house down, literally, and skipped off with the money leaving me to rebuild and finance more than I could afford).

...So, finances in the face of sin sot, airline tickets, fear, cold feet, cultural differences we'll likely be learnign about for years (I'm told some who live there 5 years are just starting to "get it" and that's only if they speak Thai). So my plan is to see if I can delay the wedding, go there and beg for an international counselor so we can start fresh...unless too much damage on both sides has already been done.

You know the saying: Hurt people Hurt people. We both need to stop reacting, calm down and regroup.

I also want to thank you for not judging, offering sound suggestions and listening to me. I really appreciate that...kind of you all.

Edited February 14, 2009 by HYENA

[HYENA 4]

I added a SAWASDEE THAILAND thread on facebook's visajourney. I thought it might be nice to meet each other there, as well. I've read some very VERY funny stories on other blogs about their unique humor and poking fun at our culture and reactions only a spouse of a Thai could appreciate...I thought also it may be a nice place to share once the journey has finished (babies/in laws and subsequent trips...how it all went, is going and how we can stick together after the journey). Someone suggested that from another VJ thread so I thought I'd add that suggestion here.

sources of 6 month old "bacteria fish sauce," what her first reaction was coming here, jobs, finances, family, fun...

facebook VJ is pretty new but It's gaining more and more attention as another tool...

Kindest regards,

Rob

[daboyz 36]

My wife and I joke all the time about crazy stuff. She always asks me if I'm going to "selling her" when she get's here. I tell her "of course, 5 baht, that's all I can get." She says, " I gonna cutting you" Lorena Bobbit style if you know what I mean. We laugh our arses off. Maybe if we didn't live together for a long time, she wouldn't think that was funny.

[Danno2 0]

Hey to change this thread up does anyone know about getting a Thai drivers license and an international license for their fiance?

Its imperative my girl get an International License before her visa. She checked on this and believes its very easy to get a license in her home town when she goes back to get her "Verification of unmarried status / Bai Rub Rong Sod " She said it takes 1 day and 500b to get. After that she takes the drivers license to Bangkok (where she lives) and then gets a 1 year International license in 5 days.

Does anyone know about this?

I called them to get the information because that is what I will be doing too. They said bring in the driving license that is valid for 5 yrs and passport to their head office near Jatujak Market/Park (JJ/weekend market), that is the only place that do international driving license. The fee is 500 baht and you can get it the same day that you go to do. I do have my new driving license that have both thai and English but it is international driving license.

I am so confused about the different information I am reading. My girl has never driven before and its not necessary for her to learn to drive before she gets here. (I taught my daughter I can teach her) so we just need to have an international license (according to the Texas Department of Public Safety) because she can not obtain a Texas DL until she gets her green card. They said for many people that takes 1.5 - 2 years. The reason this is so important is that she will need to drive (in a limited way) about 3 months after she gets here. I really need her to be 100% legal and insured. I'm worried about grey area issues coming up if she gets into an accident.

As I said in my original post she told me she should be able to get a Thai drivers license "No questions asked" in her home town and then get the international license in Bangkok.

Since that time several people have with their information and some links. In reading through it I'm very confused. I have read that the "NEW" licenses come in Thai and English. Someone else said only a portion is in English. A link I read states if the license is in English it qualifies as an international license. Then there was the post concerning the 1 yr vs. 5 year license. Also the post about needing to have a license for 1 year to qualify for the international license. LOL,,, I'm really not that smart. Can someone spell this out for my situation?

Edited February 16, 2009 by Danny and Chada

[AaronLV 12]

Hey to change this thread up does anyone know about getting a Thai drivers license and an international license for their fiance?

Its imperative my girl get an International License before her visa. She checked on this and believes its very easy to get a license in her home town when she goes back to get her "Verification of unmarried status / Bai Rub Rong Sod " She said it takes 1 day and 500b to get. After that she takes the drivers license to Bangkok (where she lives) and then gets a 1 year International license in 5 days.

Does anyone know about this?

I called them to get the information because that is what I will be doing too. They said bring in the driving license that is valid for 5 yrs and passport to their head office near Jatujak Market/Park (JJ/weekend market), that is the only place that do international driving license. The fee is 500 baht and you can get it the same day that you go to do. I do have my new driving license that have both thai and English but it is international driving license.

I am so confused about the different information I am reading. My girl has never driven before and its not necessary for her to learn to drive before she gets here. (I taught my daughter I can teach her) so we just need to have an international license (according to the Texas Department of Public Safety) because she can not obtain a Texas DL until she gets her green card. They said for many people that takes 1.5 - 2 years. The reason this is so important is that she will need to drive (in a limited way) about 3 months after she gets here. I really need her to be 100% legal and insured. I'm worried about grey area issues coming up if she gets into an accident.

As I said in my original post she told me she should be able to get a Thai drivers license "No questions asked" in her home town and then get the international license in Bangkok.

Since that time several people have with their information and some links. In reading through it I'm very confused. I have read that the "NEW" licenses come in Thai and English. Someone else said only a portion is in English. A link I read states if the license is in English it qualifies as an international license. Then there was the post concerning the 1 yr vs. 5 year license. Also the post about needing to have a license for 1 year to qualify for the international license. LOL,,, I'm really not that smart. Can someone spell this out for my situation?

She cannot get an international license. The only way they will issue an international license is if they have the 5 year license and you can only get that after the 1 year license.

I sent my fiancee to drviing school for 10 hours here and then paid for her to get her license (wink wink). My plan at the time was to do what you are doing, get her the international license and then teach her to drive in the US. However after she got her license is when I found out about the restriction on the 1 year license, that it cannot be converted to an international.

The 1 year license says:

Driving License at the top in Thai and english, then has a section with Thai (Dates, name, Thai ID etc), then at the bottom has the valid dates, name, birthdate, Thai ID in english. I think it will be suffiecient for teaching her to drive in the US. Plus it can be used for her ID, since it has her Birthdate and she won't need to carry her passport everywhere. In Vegas she will get ID'd everywhere.

I was quite confused myself with the entire international license, and we had several arguments about this, until I talked to another expat here, and then also the driving instructor which confirmed what I said above.

[mommymeow 0]

Hey to change this thread up does anyone know about getting a Thai drivers license and an international license for their fiance?

Its imperative my girl get an International License before her visa. She checked on this and believes its very easy to get a license in her home town when she goes back to get her "Verification of unmarried status / Bai Rub Rong Sod " She said it takes 1 day and 500b to get. After that she takes the drivers license to Bangkok (where she lives) and then gets a 1 year International license in 5 days.

Does anyone know about this?

I called them to get the information because that is what I will be doing too. They said bring in the driving license that is valid for 5 yrs and passport to their head office near Jatujak Market/Park (JJ/weekend market), that is the only place that do international driving license. The fee is 500 baht and you can get it the same day that you go to do. I do have my new driving license that have both thai and English but it is international driving license.

I am so confused about the different information I am reading. My girl has never driven before and its not necessary for her to learn to drive before she gets here. (I taught my daughter I can teach her) so we just need to have an international license (according to the Texas Department of Public Safety) because she can not obtain a Texas DL until she gets her green card. They said for many people that takes 1.5 - 2 years. The reason this is so important is that she will need to drive (in a limited way) about 3 months after she gets here. I really need her to be 100% legal and insured. I'm worried about grey area issues coming up if she gets into an accident.

As I said in my original post she told me she should be able to get a Thai drivers license "No questions asked" in her home town and then get the international license in Bangkok.

Since that time several people have with their information and some links. In reading through it I'm very confused. I have read that the "NEW" licenses come in Thai and English. Someone else said only a portion is in English. A link I read states if the license is in English it qualifies as an international license. Then there was the post concerning the 1 yr vs. 5 year license. Also the post about needing to have a license for 1 year to qualify for the international license. LOL,,, I'm really not that smart. Can someone spell this out for my situation?

She cannot get an international license. The only way they will issue an international license is if they have the 5 year license and you can only get that after the 1 year license.

I sent my fiancee to drviing school for 10 hours here and then paid for her to get her license (wink wink). My plan at the time was to do what you are doing, get her the international license and then teach her to drive in the US. However after she got her license is when I found out about the restriction on the 1 year license, that it cannot be converted to an international.

The 1 year license says:

Driving License at the top in Thai and english, then has a section with Thai (Dates, name, Thai ID etc), then at the bottom has the valid dates, name, birthdate, Thai ID in english. I think it will be suffiecient for teaching her to drive in the US. Plus it can be used for her ID, since it has her Birthdate and she won't need to carry her passport everywhere. In Vegas she will get ID'd everywhere.

I was quite confused myself with the entire international license, and we had several arguments about this, until I talked to another expat here, and then also the driving instructor which confirmed what I said above.

Well i just gave out the information that I got from the people at the head office of Driving License Department. I don't know if it is right or wrong but if the people at that office gave out wrong information then who else we can believe?

As from the different state rule, I don't know if they will accept my driving license that is not international so it wont hurt to just get it just to be safe as for my own case but I don't know about other people and other state. I myself do have the license that have both written in Thai and English and valid for 5 years.

[HYENA 4]

Oh my! I never thought (really thought) about a drivers license. I mean I figured I'd teach her to drive, no problem....but the REAL problem comes about taking the test in English. The written test....Now I'm concerned a little that it will take longer.

Perhaps i should send her to driving school there? We've got a couple months (maybe longer) no NOA2 yet but I can do nothing about that.