How hard was it for your spouse to learn English? How did you help?

[Brad and Vika 129]

The first time I met my wife in the U.S.A she already spoke english almost perfectly! She is twenty years old and learned it at her school! 5 months later she was fluent just like the average American

I am sure she must do better than the average American. After all, our newspapers are written at about the 8th grade reading level. When I listen to groups of kids talk in text/web shorthand phrases, or semi-ebonic hip-hop, I despair.

Haha It was an expression. She is taking college English and speech!

Well there you have it!

[slim 1,525]

She is still in the Ukraine, and my preferences would be a private tutor or regular lessons. The problem is that she is working 60+ hours a week with no end in sight as well as taking care of her daughter. So we are looking for something she can do in her free hours to help strengthen her vocabulary.

We do speak on Skype every weekend at least 4 hours each day as well as instant messaging through out the week.

I think you just answered your own question. If she's using up her "free" hours (tip of the hat to her for finding any free time with that workload!) talking to you and using Skype, IM, etc., then you're what's stopping her.

A little constructive criticism here - when we talk to our S/O, no matter for how long, we tend to kind of pigeon-hole ourselves into a basic conversation (how was your day, I miss you, etc.) and even if we're capable of breaking away from that cycle, we don't wander too far. You spend hours and hours talking about, pretty much, the same thing. That can take you, literally years, before you make any progress. Hell, I talked to my wife for about five years on the phone and the only Russian I knew was "skuchayu."

I would suggest you "allow" her to take some of that time she's talking to you and go to a tutor. You'll hear the results next time you talk.

It is however, true that if you get cold enough, lost enough, or hungry enough, you learn faster to speak whatever language will cure that condition.

Heh. Freezing, starving, and dropping your spouse off in strange neighborhoods until she speaks English: Not the Mox School of Relationship Enhancement recommended method, but please post before and after photos in this thread.

So what is the Mox School of Relationship Enhancement's core curriculum?

Slim's school involves some hard knocks, tough love and absolutely no "time out." .... and let's not forget about the "helicopter!"

What... Only 9 hours a day???

When you get into the "MOX English by immersion Program" it's 25 hours a day, you'd better not even utter a Russian word during sex!

No Russian during sex is technically a rule, but unlikely to be noticed.

Now we're getting somewhere! Personally, the whole reason I started learning Russian language was so I could have sex with Russian girls. I'm not going to sugar-coat it (been married to a Russian too long now... no more sugar-coating anything!) and say I wanted to understand her feelings more or get to know her family or whatever. Plain and simple, the more Russian language I could speak/understand, the better chance I had of getting lucky.

The very first phrase I studied in Russian was "Can I use your computer?" Sounds stupid, but when a whole bunch of drunk GIs are saying, in English, "Wow. You're hot. Can I buy you a drink?" and then I stroll over and ask, "Mozhna vas polzavatsa computerim?" it's pretty easy to guess who gets the name and number first. (And subsequent bam-chicka-wah-wah.....)

You can use this, to a degree, to "motivate" your S/O. (Well, the learning factor, anyway. Not the "getting lucky with Slim" factor.)

[Danno 1,228]

Speaking of learning a foreign language, I stumbled upon this sight which offers a number of different free lessons in many languages.

My preferred method is to "listen and repeat" but I actually found one (of the several) styles which I can see is very helpful to learn to READ russian.

http://www.ukindia.com/zip/zru1.htm

Now the parent site which this lesson comes from is www.word2word.com

They also have an fairly good section to learn English... 4 russian speakers.

If you know anyone trying to learn any language, this seems to be a great free site.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Now we're getting somewhere! Personally, the whole reason I started learning Russian language was so I could have sex with Russian girls. I'm not going to sugar-coat it (been married to a Russian too long now... no more sugar-coating anything!) and say I wanted to understand her feelings more or get to know her family or whatever. Plain and simple, the more Russian language I could speak/understand, the better chance I had of getting lucky.

The very first phrase I studied in Russian was "Can I use your computer?" Sounds stupid, but when a whole bunch of drunk GIs are saying, in English, "Wow. You're hot. Can I buy you a drink?" and then I stroll over and ask, "Mozhna vas polzavatsa computerim?" it's pretty easy to guess who gets the name and number first. (And subsequent bam-chicka-wah-wah.....)

You can use this, to a degree, to "motivate" your S/O. (Well, the learning factor, anyway. Not the "getting lucky with Slim" factor.)

We definitely started to learn for different reasons Slim. Since I was trying to do business in Belarus, I found it helpful to learn a phrase or two to help me get on there whilst traveling. Belarus is one of the few places I have been where it was easy to find myself the lone English speaker in the room As an aside, I also found no shortage of Russian speaking women here in the US willing to cough up a number - no Russian required. So maybe my need to speak it was in a different part of Maslow's hierarchy than yours

For the record, my first Russian phrase was "My name is". The second was "Excuse me, can you help me?", closely followed by "I need to go to (fill in the blank here - hotel, address, business)", or "tell me please, where is the toilet".

[slim 1,525]

So maybe my need to speak it was in a different part of Maslow's hierarchy than yours

I believe mine was both at the top and the bottom!

[Brad and Vika 129]

Thanks Mox and Slim.

She is still in the Ukraine, and my preferences would be a private tutor or regular lessons. The problem is that she is working 60+ hours a week with no end in sight as well as taking care of her daughter. So we are looking for something she can do in her free hours to help strengthen her vocabulary.

We do speak on Skype every weekend at least 4 hours each day as well as instant messaging through out the week.

Viktoria took classes from a tutor close to home for about $10 per session. IMHO she was already pretty fluent, but wanted to practice up. What city is she in?

So maybe my need to speak it was in a different part of Maslow's hierarchy than yours

I believe mine was both at the top and the bottom!

Er... no

[Dave-n-Oksana 49]

Thanks Mox and Slim.

She is still in the Ukraine, and my preferences would be a private tutor or regular lessons. The problem is that she is working 60+ hours a week with no end in sight as well as taking care of her daughter. So we are looking for something she can do in her free hours to help strengthen her vocabulary.

We do speak on Skype every weekend at least 4 hours each day as well as instant messaging through out the week.

Viktoria took classes from a tutor close to home for about $10 per session. IMHO she was already pretty fluent, but wanted to practice up. What city is she in?

She lives in Berdyansk. Her Daughter is very fluent and is helping her, but there are just some things that should be said in private

The private tutors there are running the same price but the issue at the moment is time.

[K1researcher 0]

on a note ....

post its for dual language names is not a good idea ...

The caveat here is that the fiancee has seen that documentary about russian brides .. you all know which one I am talking about. This complete and total moron does that in tyhe documentary and thus it makes the entire effort reflect badly on anyone who does it

it is a shame since it is a good idea .. just discuss before doing ;-)

[mox 298]

Ahhhh yeah, the infamous "documentary." Shame about that really. These women would really benefit from something that gives them an idea of what they're getting into. That bit of docudrama (I'm sure we're talking about the same one) does nothing but scare the hell out of them, which of course was the intention.

I put up some post-it notes around the house, but eventually wasn't even looking at them, so just took them down. I think just making an hour a day to study works better.

[slim 1,525]

Her Daughter is very fluent and is helping her, but there are just some things that should be said in private

How old is this daughter? Not to be out of line, but most high school girls nowadays could teach their mothers a few new words, both in English and Russian! Maybe the mom isn't asking the daughter for help, not to protect the daughter's delicate sensibilities, but rather, her own!

post its for dual language names is not a good idea ...

The caveat here is that the fiancee has seen that documentary about russian brides .. you all know which one I am talking about. This complete and total moron does that in tyhe documentary and thus it makes the entire effort reflect badly on anyone who does it

I haven't seen that movie, and as far as I know, neither has my wife. Which one is it?

Does he use post-it's in the movie or something? If he messed up my good idea, I'll blast the movie on moviepoopshoot.com

[mox 298]

If it's the one I saw, it's a pseudo-documentary on what happens to "Russian Brides" when they get to the US. They show the loser dude (Portland I think?) that killed his Russian wife, and then they showed a bunch of other loser dudes. The message was pretty clear: Fat, lazy, American dudes are stealing our wimmin and then either making them slaves or killing them. I would be surprised if your wife hasn't seen it, Slim.

The post-it notes scene shows one of the loser dudes with post-it notes all over his kitchen, with the obvious connotation that he wants to learn these words to make his hawt hawt Russian wife slave in the kitchen for him.

[Caladan 19]

If there is a university in your area that has a lot of international graduate students, check for "language tables." through the international office. Quite often the spouses of students have weak English, and there are groups, usually over lunch, where they'll meet and speak only English. It's nice for forcing communication, because it's in an atmosphere where everyone is learning, so people don't feel self-conscious about mistakes.

And sometimes you can find a language table exchange; the foreigner helps a grad student or undergraduate by having a Russian (or whatever)-only hour on Tuesdays, and in exchange the student meets for an English-only hour with the foreigner.

It's not going to replace language instruction at home or immersion, but it's good to have a way to practice the language that isn't always with one's spouse.

[Dave-n-Oksana 49]

Her Daughter is very fluent and is helping her, but there are just some things that should be said in private

How old is this daughter? Not to be out of line, but most high school girls nowadays could teach their mothers a few new words, both in English and Russian! Maybe the mom isn't asking the daughter for help, not to protect the daughter's delicate sensibilities, but rather, her own!

Her Daughter is 18 and I have no doubt she could teach us both a few new words. But I think it is more fun to learn these words with my fiance when we are alone under the guise of private lessons

[Brad and Vika 129]

Ahhhh yeah, the infamous "documentary." Shame about that really. These women would really benefit from something that gives them an idea of what they're getting into. That bit of docudrama (I'm sure we're talking about the same one) does nothing but scare the hell out of them, which of course was the intention.

I put up some post-it notes around the house, but eventually wasn't even looking at them, so just took them down. I think just making an hour a day to study works better.

Dialogue is the most helpful thing for me. It was a real pain to find some one to practice with before Vika got here though. When I study vocabulary and know she will be using the words soon, I tend to work better with them. We take this VERY slowly, because as a certified geezer I have limited RAM space - but it is working. Pofteritsya medlena pajalsta!

[slim 1,525]

The message was pretty clear: Fat, lazy, American dudes are stealing our wimmin and then either making them slaves or killing them. I would be surprised if your wife hasn't seen it, Slim.

I wouldn't be surprised if my wife made it. Fat, lazy, American dude - that pretty much sums it up right there. She says I brought her here to help me pay my bills... she's still alive though, so what's she complaining about?

Do you guys ever notice when you see the "mail order bride" horror stories there was the one chick that was killed out there in Oregon and then there was the chick with the "I swear I'm not a lesbo" lawyer who was getting pimped out in Jersey? Other than that, there really aren't too many other stories out there. Plus, like I tell my wife, the one that was killed was from Kazakhstan, the other was from Ukraine. What the heck are you worried about, Miss Russia? I'm the one that should be worried! You hear a lot of stories about Americans being killed by Russian mafia. Not so much the other way around..... hmmm.

because as a certified geezer I have limited RAM space - but it is working. Pofteritsya medlena pajalsta!

My wife tells me I have too many programs running at once. Especially that one that's always looking for "new updates." She put some kind of firewall on me now though.