Is it possible to keep the K-1 process a secret from my parents while I'm living with them?

[SingleCharles 0]

First, I would like to wish you two the best of luck. Love is an awesome thing. I think you have an amazing story... from your timeline it looks like you met in person two years after you met online. That is a story in itself (how you managed to form a romance without ever meeting in person is really miraculous).

I think your best solution is to get G here ASAP so you can tell your story to your parents together. That will give substance to your relationship. Your parents might feel better after they get to know G in person.

If G is not able to come soon, say in the next month, then you should have the talk with your parents now. As long as you are living under their roof, regardless of your contribution, you owe them this respect. Each day you do not discuss it with them is another day that they may find out about your "secret". I don't think you want to come home and find your dad sitting in the chair waiting for you with an unopened letter in his hand and a lot of questions on his mind.

Lastly, If you think your parents cannot handle the discussion at all, then it may be time to spread your wings and establish the beginning of your new life on your own until G can join you.

I hope it works out which ever one you chose. Again I wish you and G the best of luck and hope that your situation is resolved peaceful, and happily.

Charles

[SingleCharles 0]

I think you should come back from your trip with an engagement ring and a video from Gabriel, to your father, asking him for your hand.

After that - file.

+1 to this one! Excellent idea!

[Brad and Vika 129]

GJen,

It's good that you're thinking about this, and that you're willing to consider advice that is sincerely offered. I'm particularly impressed with the wise thoughts from Brad.

As a long-time son (and an only child), I can attest that parents -- mothers in particular -- will ALWAYS view even their adult children as their "babies." The psychology is far too intricate to delve deeply into, but here's a little. Our parents want the best for us, and since they remember our early years as an infant, toddler, child, and teenager, they acutely remember the guidance that they had to provide in order to be good parents and for us to become mature, self-sufficient, sensible young adults. They were completely responsible for protecting and nurturing their "babies." They remember every physical and emotional pain that we ever experienced... and when WE hurt, THEY hurt. This is part of the nature of being a good and caring parent, and it's deeply ingrained. I don't know your parents, of course, but I'd wager that this is their frame of reference.

Perhaps ruminating on this will help you develop an approach to speaking with them. If I'm right, they might resist at first, fearing the reasons of above, but they should eventually come around, and they may even become your strongest allies. INCLUDE them, because -- loving you as they do -- being shut out of your life will cut them to their core.

Well I've tried to include them. It's somewhat hard when I can't bring the boyfriend over to the house for dinner to meet the parents. If G could move here and then we could date and they could meet, that would be great. The reality is very different. (We tried and were denied the Tourist Visa) Seeing as how there's no "Meet The Parents Visa", the Fiance Visa is the only option we have that would allow us to live a normal life. (Normal meaning not having to go years without seeing each other.)

It all comes down to that question I asked Brad and Vika: As a parent, would you rather hear 6 or 12 months out that your daughter is formally engaged to a man you've never met or meet him and soon after have both your daughter and her fiance-to-be announce it together followed by detailed plans?

Either way, it's probably not what they envisioned for their daughter. In fact, it's nothing like what I envisioned for myself. Life doesn't always work out as you plan- and sometimes that's a good thing. In this case, it's a great thing. Of course it's not all hearts and roses (the whole K1 process doesn't seem to be a walk in the park), but this is the one thing I'm so certain about. I know my parents will love him when they meet him. I have a feeling everything's going to work out.

Sorry for taking so long to get back to you. Again, your posts are very well put, and I appreciate it. If it were my kid, I would rather hear sooner than later. I think that your time talking to your parents, explaining, crying, etc. is all well spent. When you tell your dad what is really in your heart Jen, he WILL eventually respond to it. He loves you and only wants to protect you and see you happy. Try saying "daddy, when you say I am living a fantasy with Gabriel, it makes me feel _____". Keep saying it, and how unhappy you are that you are not feeling their support when you both need it so much.

[yokogurl99 0]

It's not a "change of address". Mail goes to the address on the envelope. USCIS will mail to the address you give them. It's up to you who has the new private mailbox address and who doesn't but it's "your" private address. Mail addressed to your house will go to your house.

Great! I called my local UPS store and it seems like that may work out. Just.. a couple more questions!! Because there are several different places that the address is needed for different forms.

I-129F: Part A, #2 Address (Number and street)

I-129F: Part B, #14 Address in the United States where your fiance plans to live

G-325A: Applicants residence for last 5 years

Should I list my UPS Mailbox address on Part A, #2 of the I-129F in order to have all coorespondence from USCIS be sent to my UPS mailbox?

Should I list my current residence (though my boyfriend and I will move into an apartment after getting married) for Part B, #14 of the I-129F form?

Thanks for all your help!! We really do appreciate it!

B #14 can be "to be determined, City"

G-325a, I would use it as your current address. It's just biographical, not an interrogation.

Okay, so then Part A #2 would be my UPS Mailbox? And then all corespondence from USCIS would be sent there?

So, to add to her question, B # 14 I can put on the application "to be determined, City" and I don't need to put an exact address? Will USCIS accept that? I'm afraid of it getting returned....

[Carlawarla 1]

I think you should come back from your trip with an engagement ring and a video from Gabriel, to your father, asking him for your hand.

After that - file.

I think this is a sweet idea!