How long....to all the ladies w/beneficiary hubby

[sereia 0]

this is a good thread... hubby is here and hates me paying for things. He is going to the college tomorrow to sign up for ESL classes and more classes that he has his degree in insha'allah that will start in March he wants to work once he gets his SSN in "anything" he said while he goes to school. I have to agree going the CR1 path by far seems to be the best way to go.

Way to go, Rajaaaaaaaaaaaa!

[belinda63 3,038]

My husband had to return to Iran right after getting his AP/EAD to resign from his job, wrap up some things. I was lucky in that the house he bought us has an animal clinic (24/7) type a few miles away. He understands he cannot practice veterinary medicine here but he is hoping to get work as a vet tech for a while.

We have discussed after he gets his green card him going back to school for a nursing license depending on how much of his college work they will give him credit for.

He has also discussed obtaining his CDL and becoming a truck driver.

After discussing it, he agrees he will have to accept whatever he can get at first due to his lack of experience, lack of work history, but we are also making long term plans.

Now as to what happens when he returns in a few weeks as to him working, we will see what happens.

[2ond journey 0]

Well i have a funny little story about my husband trying to find a job. He just started putting applications in at places. The first one he took his application too he was alittle nervouse. I told him that it wasn't a good idea for me to come in there with him to submit it. Anyway, I went into the first door with him and told him to go into the next door and give them the ap. He came out a minute later and said " Come here and talk to the woman here". I kind of rolled my eyes thinking, What now. I went inside and she said to me, " all we have available is Janitorial work, is that ok?" I said, Yes to her, thats fine.

Thinking to myself, why he couldn't tell her that himself. We got outside and I asked him , " Why didn't you tell her yes?" " Why did you have to come get me?" He said, " I didn't know what Janitorial Work was." I said. " Didn't you ask her?" He said, "Yes, she said it was cleaning." I said, "Then what was the problem?" He said," I thought Janitorial was kind of a sexy word in english." I'm thinking now , what the hell is he talking about. Then he kept saying the word over again and it came out in his words GENITORIAL. I started to laugh my #### off. He thought he would be cleaning GENITALS at this place. I can just picture in my mind what he was thinking.

[Jamaica to CT 0]

Well i have a funny little story about my husband trying to find a job. He just started putting applications in at places. The first one he took his application too he was alittle nervouse. I told him that it wasn't a good idea for me to come in there with him to submit it. Anyway, I went into the first door with him and told him to go into the next door and give them the ap. He came out a minute later and said " Come here and talk to the woman here". I kind of rolled my eyes thinking, What now. I went inside and she said to me, " all we have available is Janitorial work, is that ok?" I said, Yes to her, thats fine.

Thinking to myself, why he couldn't tell her that himself. We got outside and I asked him , " Why didn't you tell her yes?" " Why did you have to come get me?" He said, " I didn't know what Janitorial Work was." I said. " Didn't you ask her?" He said, "Yes, she said it was cleaning." I said, "Then what was the problem?" He said," I thought Janitorial was kind of a sexy word in english." I'm thinking now , what the hell is he talking about. Then he kept saying the word over again and it came out in his words GENITORIAL. I started to laugh my #### off. He thought he would be cleaning GENITALS at this place. I can just picture in my mind what he was thinking.

[taj'samericanwife 0]

hi...does anyone have a husband who is a doctor back home? my husband just graduated from medical school and right now while waiting for the petition he is doing his internship and masters while studying for the medical licensure exam for the united states. its a very long process to actually become a full pledge doctor here in the US, might take him years and years to even become a resident. but my husband says he can do it and will do just to become a doctor here and to make me stop working. i told him to go to nursing school in the philippines because it is much cheaper over there as i have graduated nursing school in the philippines and will take my nursing boards here soon, become an RN and have steady paychecks... but he is male and from pakistan and said he would rather work in a department store while waiting to get into a residency program than to become a nurse...very stubborn right? but i can not force him to do what he doesnt want to do. i am trying to save every penny i am earning right now until my family comes...so i work hard, study hard, pray and hope for the best...

[KHPerfectMatch 1]

hi...does anyone have a husband who is a doctor back home? my husband just graduated from medical school and right now while waiting for the petition he is doing his internship and masters while studying for the medical licensure exam for the united states. its a very long process to actually become a full pledge doctor here in the US, might take him years and years to even become a resident. but my husband says he can do it and will do just to become a doctor here and to make me stop working. i told him to go to nursing school in the philippines because it is much cheaper over there as i have graduated nursing school in the philippines and will take my nursing boards here soon, become an RN and have steady paychecks... but he is male and from pakistan and said he would rather work in a department store while waiting to get into a residency program than to become a nurse...very stubborn right? but i can not force him to do what he doesnt want to do. i am trying to save every penny i am earning right now until my family comes...so i work hard, study hard, pray and hope for the best...

If I were married to a medical doctor from overseas I'd suggest the same thing (nursing degree) while they work on other options. But if nursing in Pakistan is like nursing in Egypt forget it... In Egypt nurses are thought of as housekeepers/maids who get far too "intimate" (bathing, cleaning, changing bandages) with men who aren't their family members... Everyone told me not to tell anyone that I come from a family of nurses (Mom, Aunts, Cousins, and Grandma too!)... it would be a scandal!

How about respiratory therapy, or x-ray technician, or EMT, etc.? I checked with the local chiropractic college here and they only require doctors from overseas to go to school for 2 years instead of 4, and they allow them to be teaching assistants to work off their tuition debt because they bring so much experience to the program.

There is such a huge need for medical personnel in this country... we need to learn from Canada where rules are being changed to allow the many immigrant physicians to work in their field.

[KHPerfectMatch 1]

This thread makes me laugh.. I previously was married to "hehaditcoming69's" husband.. and now I"m married to the twin brother of Aymsgirl... :D

I made a horrible mistake not forcing the ex to take any job that was legal, moral, and paid$. He had done anything he needed to support himself before we married. (He was already in the USA before we married) But afterwards pulled the "that's beneath me" ####### because he knew I could and would support us. Out of 8 years of marriage he worked less than 2.

H got his EAD in today's mail and wants to go to Burger King tomorrow to see an Egyptian guy who is a manager there and make application for a job...

The part that amazes me is that my ex that found everything beneath him was from a middle class family with a Mom who worked outside the home (he was a "latchkey" kid in Egypt in the 1960's!!!!!). And he was under employed here working for not more than minimum wage in Appalachia before moving to the West Coast to get married.

H was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and there's never been a single woman in the family who has EVER worked... they just couldn't IMAGINE such a thing! (until me...) But is willing and anxious to be a dishwasher if they would let him! He even read an ad for an empty apartment cleaner and begged me to call them to see if they would hold a spot for him until he got his EAD! (as soon as I assured him he could wear gloves when cleaning the bathroom).

Maybe H being 48 and having gone through a "loss of fortune" back home and managing to do anything it took to support his wife and kids, and Mom after the "silver spoon" had to be sold at auction brought him into reality, and maturity.

I would just say that it's not good for a MENA man to accept support from a woman. If it doesn't depress, or at some level demasculate (is that a word???) them then RUN FROM THEM. Once they get into the entitlement role they get real used to it... Once the demons stop shouting in their ears every time a woman pays for something.. they never seem to come back...

Even if he's in school he can work on the weekend... No one gave me a free ride and I'll never give one again, even though I'm well able to and the fact that H is willing to flip dem burgers knowing my finances makes me love him all the more!

I'm just so glad he finished cleaning and organizing our ENTIRE HOUSE before the EAD came!

[childress_london 3]

hi...does anyone have a husband who is a doctor back home? my husband just graduated from medical school and right now while waiting for the petition he is doing his internship and masters while studying for the medical licensure exam for the united states. its a very long process to actually become a full pledge doctor here in the US, might take him years and years to even become a resident. but my husband says he can do it and will do just to become a doctor here and to make me stop working. i told him to go to nursing school in the philippines because it is much cheaper over there as i have graduated nursing school in the philippines and will take my nursing boards here soon, become an RN and have steady paychecks... but he is male and from pakistan and said he would rather work in a department store while waiting to get into a residency program than to become a nurse...very stubborn right? but i can not force him to do what he doesnt want to do. i am trying to save every penny i am earning right now until my family comes...so i work hard, study hard, pray and hope for the best...

My husband is not a doctor, but I know a few doctors here from Iran and yes, it's a long, hard process.

[childress_london 3]

Maybe your husband could look for a job in medical research until he can get his residency.

[taj'samericanwife 0]

thank you for all your replies...yes it is a long process and i hope my husband will be able to be patient, but he knows it will pay off in the end. in the meantime, before he oficially becomes an M.D. in the united states, i would have to work double time and more shifts as an RN inshallah! research, chiropracticity and the others all sound like good ideas...

i'd welcome more advice please!

[taj'samericanwife 0]

thank you for all your replies...yes it is a long process and i hope my husband will be able to be patient, but he knows it will pay off in the end. in the meantime, before he oficially becomes an M.D. in the united states, i would have to work double time and more shifts as an RN inshallah! research, chiropracticity and the others all sound like good ideas...

i'd welcome more advice please!

[taj'samericanwife 0]

thank you for all your replies...yes it is a long process and i hope my husband will be able to be patient, but he knows it will pay off in the end. in the meantime, before he oficially becomes an M.D. in the united states, i would have to work double time and more shifts as an RN inshallah! research, chiropracticity and the others all sound like good ideas...

i'd welcome more advice please!

[yassmine2878 1]

My $.02

Try not to get upset if your husband can't work for some reason. When my husband got here the idiot at the POE entetred his DOB as 1928. It took us over a year and a half to get that fixed during which time he had no SSN, no EAD, no Green card, no DL, no nothing. He actually had to work under the table for quite awhile at some rather unsavory places. It was very hard on him physically and emotionally and in turn casued us both alot of stress.

In general, Id give about 3 months for a new hubster to find at least some sort of basic employment. Even if he's still trying to get his sea legs, something part-time to help pay bills or give him his own spending money is a reasonable goal/request. Burger-flipping for a few months isn't all bad, especially when you know you can move up to better things when you're ready. After all, havent we all started out at the bottom too?

[Cacerez 19]

My husband should be getting his EAD card in the next couple weeks but he is technically authorized to work now based on the stamp on his I-94 card. He got his SSN number about a month ago but I put him in a class first so he could have some kind of US certification. He graduated yesterday from his class and plans to go out tommorow to apply for jobs. I'm not sure what kind of timeline all of this would fall in but I think he is on the right track. The hardest part for my husband is he is a medical school graduate but can't work as a doctor. For now he is willing to take whatever job he can so I thank God for that.

I'm sure each man is different on what works for him. They need at least a few weeks to a month after arrival to adjust and get the hang of things. After that it is a matter of them just trying to find work once they have authorization. The economy definitely makes things hard so what I did is search for what jobs are the most in demand. Though it is well beneath my husband's level, I saw the job with the most openings is nurse's assistant. It isn't glamorous and isn't the greatest pay, but it is a job and a step in the right direction. Try to look for what is available in your area and requires little or no training for your husband. That is my suggestion. Good luck!

What kind of class did you find for your husband? My problem is that my fiance is coming from Guatemala and did not graduate high school, he quit school at 16 to start working. He also does not speak hardly any English. Since we are going the K-1 process and will have a few months before receiving EAD, the general plan is to get GED (offered in Spanish!) and to work on learning Spanish so he can at least handle an interview, even if the actual job doesn't require a lot of English. He has only done restaurant work in Guatemala and as he lives in a tourist town, he has picked up his English that way - we always speak in Spanish but if I ask him what he ate for dinner, he almost always responds in English He has said he will do anything, sure there are jobs he prefers over others, but he wants to work ASAP. With my income as a teacher we can make it, but we really want to start saving money to have kids within a year or two Either way, any ideas for jobs for those who don't really speak English yet? BTW, glad you all here in MENA aren't against hearing from those from elsewhere

Edited February 9, 2009 by DavChels

[KHPerfectMatch 1]

What kind of class did you find for your husband? My problem is that my fiance is coming from Guatemala and did not graduate high school, he quit school at 16 to start working. He also does not speak hardly any English. Since we are going the K-1 process and will have a few months before receiving EAD, the general plan is to get GED (offered in Spanish!) and to work on learning Spanish so he can at least handle an interview, even if the actual job doesn't require a lot of English. He has only done restaurant work in Guatemala and as he lives in a tourist town, he has picked up his English that way - we always speak in Spanish but if I ask him what he ate for dinner, he almost always responds in English He has said he will do anything, sure there are jobs he prefers over others, but he wants to work ASAP. With my income as a teacher we can make it, but we really want to start saving money to have kids within a year or two Either way, any ideas for jobs for those who don't really speak English yet? BTW, glad you all here in MENA aren't against hearing from those from elsewhere

I think it's really interesting hearing about how couples from other backgrounds face the same, and totally different issues... In fact I just came home from eating Mexican food with hubby and wishing he spoke Spanish!

It's so common these days for employees to speak Spanish, not English... there are so many Spanish speaking workers especially in food service, even our favorite arabic restaurant has Mexicans making falafel in the kitchen!

There's so much out there if you speak Spanish, like the GED course in Spanish you're planning for him... tons of ESL classes for Spanish speaking people, the driver's manual is in Spanish, the test too if you want it. Signs in Spanish, Press 2 for Spanish, you name it!

But not a dang thing in Arabic... and not the most popular language either... I can't count on two hands the shocked look people have on their faces when they discover my Egyptian husband speaks ARABIC They all think he speaks "Egyptian"... and what a change in their facial expressions when they hear it's "Arabic".... It kind of gets on my nerves... I think I'll let them think it's Egyptian from now on...

At least if he spoke Spanish he could find a place that hires Spanish speaking employees. His English is fine for me, but I have 30+ years of listening to "Arabish" (Arabic accented English) so I'm not a good judge of his accent, etc. But he can't understand the English of almost anyone who doesn't TRY to make him understand them... They talk to fast, too much slang, or too quietly for him to figure it out...

Well the fun starts tomorrow... his first day of job hunting... we'll see how it goes...