Cheaters..and those who marry cheaters

[Mykuls Merry Ann 4]

I heard a 2nd hand story about a couple that I met in church one day. The wife was crying alot in church that day, and she seemed like she had somethings that really weighed on her. The husband sat next to her, holding her and consoling her in the way a husband should.

I happen to hear about their story from a couple within the church, and still today I wrestle with it.

The couple had been together since they were teenagers, they were high school sweethearts. They now had been married more than 20 yrs, and it seemed to me like they would be doing another 20 yrs from what I saw in church that day. But from the story I heard about them it made me see Love in a whole different way. In a way that I knew I would not be able to demonstrate yet. I mean I am not trying to get religious or anything, but what we learn from Jesus about Love... how many of us actually are able to demonstrate it for a long period of time in our own lives? Well not me...

I was talking to the 2nd hand source couple they have befriended the other couple and they have known them since high school as well. So I heard both a husband and a wife side in their perspectives on the couple.

From what I understand the couple has 6 children, most of them were in church too that day. A happy family right? Well maybe....

From what I heard is that the wife has been cheating on her husband since they met in their teen years. This church is in a very small town, where everyone knows everyone, so the wife's reputation in that town is well known. So known to the point that she does not even hide it anymore.

But when they met in high school the wife had a reputation of going with any strange guy(s) and having sex with them, even dating them for a short time. But somehow, her boyfriend then, would always take or go and get her back. I mean they said that he has even caught her in the act, and he would go and get her from the men she was with at the time.

Over the 20 yrs, she has left the home/family sometimes for months and he would not know where she has been. But sometimes there would be rumors about where she was hiding out, so he knew, but he would just leave her alone and wait till she decided to come home. Wow!

Now the people in the church obviously have seen this woman crying in church before so many times all for the same reason....lol...same ole person getting saved for the 23rd time...hahahahahahaha! They all know that she left her kids, and would have adulterous affairs. But I am not as focused on her as I am with her husband. I envy the man. All these years he has stayed with this woman, even though she seems to have a major flaw that most of us cannot deal with in our own spouses.

It is known that most if not all of his children are not even his biological children. But he is the one who takes them to school, brings them to church, and puts them to bed at night.

Ya see for me, this man proves that Love is a lot more than i thought it could be. I mean often we are in a relationship and we feel that things need to be 50/50 in every part of the relationship. But even in chemical bonds we learn that a bond does not have to be equal. In order for it to happen. I mean our spouse may not be giving as much as we give, but we ourselves can be the very bond or glue that holds a marriage together. But it still is a legitimate marriage as any other.

This man truely loves this woman. And here is the other thing, people say that this woman does not drink, do drugs, or even party a lot. They also say that when she is home and with her husband and kids, she is the best person to be around. That generally everyone likes her.

See this opens up a subject, that has intrigued me as well. Have you ever met a person who is just prone to cheat? I mean a person who you know that they simply cannot help themselves from cheating? That they can love, and want to be loved, but they got a special addiction to one day go out and look for any person and have sex? Have you run into these people? I am sure if you are old enough you have ran into this type before.

While most of us practice monogamy, do you think that we could evolve into a world where having a pleasurable sexual encounter with a person other than your spouse, can be seen as something that is not immoral or wrong? But as normal? I heard in some northern Asian countries that this type of arrangement pretty much takes place normally in married couples. It is not unknown for a man and woman to live together and marry, but on numerous nights they would visit the beds of others. Of course without any issues from their spouses.

Whew....I mean I am not there yet to deal with this...and to be honest, I dont think I am going to make it there in this lifetime.

It seems to me, that a person who is prone to cheat, is going to cheat eventually anyway, right. I think they can change, but they will always have the itch. And if the person they live with can tolerate and love them, then it seems to work correct? I mean the kids really don't know who their father is. But i am sure that if it were a man cheating it would be different.

I dont think I could be married to a person who I know has a cheating problem. Now I know we are all able to cheat. In fact the most naive people who think they would never cheat on their spouse are probably the most vulnerable to cheating from what I see. But i think nature sends us a few people who are known cheaters. Its a way of keeping the species around.

Any of you know someone who has a cheating problem? Anyone now marrying, or living with someone that you know is prone to cheating? Would you marry a cheater? Can we sympathize with this person?

[Completely 3]

TRUST plays a very important role in one relationship.. Without trust, relationship will fall into pieces..

You will never know the person until you live with him/her, so basically marrying someone is taking a risk, whether he is a cheater or not, no body knows..

COMMUNICATION plays a big role as well, even if you love each other and you dont know how to communicate, it is useless..

COMPROMISE is a part as well, couple should learn how to compromise..

Without these three words, you can't have relationship with someone...

People cheats with different reason... It is not a human nature, but it is something that a person does when they are not satisfied with the person they love.. Temptation plays with it too.. but this is up to the person who has the problem in communication.. These three words are actually connected.

[Dakine 26]

In this day of ever increasing sexually transmitted diseases anyone screwing someone else other than their mate is stupid as they may possibly bring home a "surprise" for their mate and family. They should be tarred and feathered and run out of the country! Not old fashioned but "new fashioned".

[Mykuls Merry Ann 4]

In this day of ever increasing sexually transmitted diseases anyone screwing someone else other than their mate is stupid as they may possibly bring home a "surprise" for their mate and family. They should be tarred and feathered and run out of the country! Not old fashioned but "new fashioned".

Do you think STDs just showed up in humans in the modern age?

[Dakine 26]

In this day of ever increasing sexually transmitted diseases anyone screwing someone else other than their mate is stupid as they may possibly bring home a "surprise" for their mate and family. They should be tarred and feathered and run out of the country! Not old fashioned but "new fashioned".

Do you think STDs just showed up in humans in the modern age?

Alls I know is when I was growing up the only STD's you heard of were the Clap, Syphilis and crabs.

I guess the rest were hiding.

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

there's a poll on this topic too.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=63473

[muñequita linda 0]

there's a poll on this topic too.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=63473

Mr. moderator, can you use your senses and dump this trash into the landfill known as the off-topic section, please?

[Jasman0717 9]

In this day of ever increasing sexually transmitted diseases anyone screwing someone else other than their mate is stupid as they may possibly bring home a "surprise" for their mate and family. They should be tarred and feathered and run out of the country! Not old fashioned but "new fashioned".

I hate cheaters. My friend's wife cheated on him and she had the good life. Now she is starving trying to make ends meet on her own.

[nowhereman 1]

In this day of ever increasing sexually transmitted diseases anyone screwing someone else other than their mate is stupid as they may possibly bring home a "surprise" for their mate and family. They should be tarred and feathered and run out of the country! Not old fashioned but "new fashioned".

I hate cheaters. My friend's wife cheated on him and she had the good life. Now she is starving trying to make ends meet on her own.

Just marry an ugly woman... if she cheats on you who cares?

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

In this day of ever increasing sexually transmitted diseases anyone screwing someone else other than their mate is stupid as they may possibly bring home a "surprise" for their mate and family. They should be tarred and feathered and run out of the country! Not old fashioned but "new fashioned".

I hate cheaters. My friend's wife cheated on him and she had the good life. Now she is starving trying to make ends meet on her own.

Just marry an ugly woman... if she cheats on you who cares?

[maliciant 7]

Two things, look up polyamorous.

Second, the reason the couple (which is extraordinairy to begin with) is still together probably isn't because they guy loves the girl but because he doesn't love himself. I gaurentee both have a history of heavy abuse as children.

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

Two things, look up polyamorous.

there's a poll or two for that also

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=84111

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=110072

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=124129

[nowhereman 1]

Two things, look up polyamorous.

Second, the reason the couple (which is extraordinairy to begin with) is still together probably isn't because they guy loves the girl but because he doesn't love himself. I gaurentee both have a history of heavy abuse as children.

The story was longer than it needed to be but I'm guessing both the woman & the man have low self esteem. Not to go Dr. Phil but from what I understand women who are very promiscuous either had a bad relationship with their father or perhaps were even sexually abused & the guy probably grew up in a dysfunctional environment as well.

[muñequita linda 0]

Paging Capt. Ewok ...

Please have the organizers and mods move this to the general off-topic section as it has nothing to do specifically with the Philippines. Some of the mods, who also double as phantoms and trolls, possess one track minds and they gloat on any controversy that surfaces on the Philippine forum or anything related to the Philippines.

[DanielParul 50]

Paging Capt. Ewok ...

Please have the organizers and mods move this to the general off-topic section as it has nothing to do specifically with the Philippines. Some of the mods, who also double as phantoms and trolls, possess one track minds and they gloat on any controversy that surfaces on the Philippine forum or anything related to the Philippines.