Anyone do a prenuptial?

[joej 0]

we had a prenuptial agrement before we got married, it was verbal:

if one of us gets very fat, the other one can ask for a divorce, and the first one has to agree with the divorce, no matter what.

no seriosly, this is real

WOW..LOL... My husband is from Kenya, and he loves big women... I think he would ask me for a divorce if I got skinny!!! He says.."skinny legs turn me off..."But to each their own for that as well.

Chris

I'm glad my husband is not a skinny minny.

[Taylorlove 0]

If you have to take extra precautions prior to getting in a relationship, perhaps you need to wonder if you need to be in that relationship in the first place.

It's all about trust and knowing the person who you are dealing with, having a pre-nup gives the appearance that there is a lack of trust or lack of lifetime commitment to one another. Of course in life there are no guarantees, and some things don't have happy endings, and often time’s people can mis-represent themselves, especially if you initially met through a virtual means.

However, I believe having a pre-nup is like going into a marriage planning the divorce. The reason why so many marriages fail today, is because people go into them thinking "well if it doesn't work, we can just get divorce'. Marriage is hard enough without such low expectations.

No it is not about accepting defeat or planning a divorce before getting married, it is pure protection should the worse happen. We can not guarantee a lifetime full of roses, I have a brother that was quite wealthy before his monster ex wife came in to the picture, yeh she got a house off him and half his own house he slept in so he had to sell up. "Rich with the rich poor with the poor" I might have to agree with you there.

We all came into this world naked and that's how you will return. You cannot take your assets with you, regardless who you are or what you may become. There is really no such thing as protection in life.

We have laws for a reason and breakups for a reason, maybe protection is highly over-rated in your world? God forbid if your husband ever cheated on you and thus caused warrant for a divorce I really don't think you'll agree with him giving your lifes possessions to someone else...mm.

Perhaps the rich should marry the rich, and the poor the poor.

I am successful and had many assets prior to marriage, but I don’t believe you should begin a marriage or anything based on the grounds of failure. When doing anything do it with confidence, if you don’t believe it in, then what is the point of doing it.

AQ

[Linguere 0]

I support the idea of a prenup in this type of situation just because of what I have seen. I've been to a few fake weddings (didn't know till I arrived and it was immediately obvious to everyone except the bride) and know an extremely high number of people who got their GCs in that way. Hey even one of the doctors that I met at the hospital when having surgery admitted to that. So, let's just say that it's a well-discussed phenomenon in African circles, both here and abroad. When I'm walking down the streets of Dakar I can spot it immediately. The guys even feel ashamed in my presence when they know I speak Wolof and am hip to the game....so with that said, I absolutely support the idea.

In my particular case, I have been a full-time student since 2001 and have been in school since 1997. I just have about $150,000 in debt, which I felt equally obligated to discuss with my husband. In terms of him wanting any of my few electronics or anything inside my modest apartment, well, hardly, but still...I met my hubby doing research (wanted to interview him - he is famous in his country) and he had been traveling for many years to Europe...had work permit in Europe, so I wasn't as concerned as I would have been if he was just trying to get out (I still meet so many people even here that ask me to help them find their GC wife). He has a great deal of opportunities in his country, so I am not worried about him taking off with any of my very few possessions.

While I do understand that marriage starts with trust, it also must start with a clear head. Old folks always told me that every woman should have a secret bank account with start again cash, just in case. Then she can fully trust. :-) My mom always told me to think love AND business. I know that everyone is different, but I understand both points of view.

[GOLDEN.247 0]

I support the idea of a prenup in this type of situation just because of what I have seen. I've been to a few fake weddings (didn't know till I arrived and it was immediately obvious to everyone except the bride) and know an extremely high number of people who got their GCs in that way. Hey even one of the doctors that I met at the hospital when having surgery admitted to that. So, let's just say that it's a well-discussed phenomenon in African circles, both here and abroad. When I'm walking down the streets of Dakar I can spot it immediately. The guys even feel ashamed in my presence when they know I speak Wolof and am hip to the game....so with that said, I absolutely support the idea.

In my particular case, I have been a full-time student since 2001 and have been in school since 1997. I just have about $150,000 in debt, which I felt equally obligated to discuss with my husband. In terms of him wanting any of my few electronics or anything inside my modest apartment, well, hardly, but still...I met my hubby doing research (wanted to interview him - he is famous in his country) and he had been traveling for many years to Europe...had work permit in Europe, so I wasn't as concerned as I would have been if he was just trying to get out (I still meet so many people even here that ask me to help them find their GC wife). He has a great deal of opportunities in his country, so I am not worried about him taking off with any of my very few possessions.

While I do understand that marriage starts with trust, it also must start with a clear head. Old folks always told me that every woman should have a secret bank account with start again cash, just in case. Then she can fully trust. :-) My mom always told me to think love AND business. I know that everyone is different, but I understand both points of view.

I was also taught to have monies on the side. Theses are all good points and I guess for me I think the answer would vary based on the individuals and the realtionships. A prenup has never crossed my mind unless I am splitting my student loan bills with him. But seriously I have never thought about it and we did talk about divorce but neither of us believe or were raised to entertain the concept of divorce. My husband has clearly told me that we are together for life and that we are stuck with one another. There are proverbs that state something like, whatever you think about most will be the things that come to past. Be smart but do not invest too much time in negativity it can be destructive.

[GabiandVi 34]

I never considered it. Of course, I had no property, so I suppose it wouldn't have occurred to me.

I think if people have children from earlier marriages, it is important to ask for a pre-nup.

[idocare 3]

My ex-husband also told me that in his culture that they don't believe in divorce, he echoed that I was stuck with him for life.

[mc2000ch 0]

Didn't do it, wouldn't do it and never felt sorry that I hadn't considered it. But that's just me.

Ditto.

YEAH

[We_Destiny 1]

Didn't do it, wouldn't do it and never felt sorry that I hadn't considered it. But that's just me.

Ditto.

YEAH

mc2000ch

the picture in your signature

[Zee Bee 61]

Unless he wants to split my student loan bills with me

[TinTin and Samby 11]

I support the idea of a prenup in this type of situation just because of what I have seen. I've been to a few fake weddings (didn't know till I arrived and it was immediately obvious to everyone except the bride) and know an extremely high number of people who got their GCs in that way. Hey even one of the doctors that I met at the hospital when having surgery admitted to that. So, let's just say that it's a well-discussed phenomenon in African circles, both here and abroad. When I'm walking down the streets of Dakar I can spot it immediately. The guys even feel ashamed in my presence when they know I speak Wolof and am hip to the game....so with that said, I absolutely support the idea.

In my particular case, I have been a full-time student since 2001 and have been in school since 1997. I just have about $150,000 in debt, which I felt equally obligated to discuss with my husband. In terms of him wanting any of my few electronics or anything inside my modest apartment, well, hardly, but still...I met my hubby doing research (wanted to interview him - he is famous in his country) and he had been traveling for many years to Europe...had work permit in Europe, so I wasn't as concerned as I would have been if he was just trying to get out (I still meet so many people even here that ask me to help them find their GC wife). He has a great deal of opportunities in his country, so I am not worried about him taking off with any of my very few possessions.

While I do understand that marriage starts with trust, it also must start with a clear head. Old folks always told me that every woman should have a secret bank account with start again cash, just in case. Then she can fully trust. :-) My mom always told me to think love AND business. I know that everyone is different, but I understand both points of view.

Here! Here!

Warm Regards,

Samby

[totes 0]

I guess I would have to ask.... would you be thinking about this with an American man? If the answer is no, I would question the relationship from a very basic level. If the answer is yes, go for it! I wouldn't do it but don't have a problem with those that might.

[forchika 4]

Did not do a prenuptial agreement either, thought did cross my mind just decided against it.

[stevi1123 0]

I guess I would have to ask.... would you be thinking about this with an American man? If the answer is no, I would question the relationship from a very basic level. If the answer is yes, go for it! I wouldn't do it but don't have a problem with those that might.

Excellent Point!

[melusine 5]

i would be willing to do one if he thought it was necessary, i even bring it up a few months ago but we decided it was not necessary because of our situation.

Basically

I am quite broke (but with almost no debts)

He have an income and all but loads of debts (and a big part of it from his ex wife because of their divorce)

US law seem to be quite screwy for guyz who earn more than their wife... damn....

In the future, our income might be around the same.

[Asante Maroon 0]

I've been a student forever (even if I end up on the streets...my degrees will keep me warm )! Just joking. But on a serious note, I do have some serious loans and because I am a career student (still in school now ) I can't say that I have anything of real worth...accept for myself .

So basically I am still just starting out, really. As a matter of fact there was a point in February that I was thinking of buying a home (coop) and I decided against it because I felt like maybe that is something I should wait until we can do together. And besides why buy a coop when you can get a condo or a house. All of which I would need assistance to purchase.

SOOOOO, pre-nup? . My particular circumstances would not call for it.