needing to remove conditional, but seperating from the husband

[Azale 0]

I doubt the title is clear enough.

I am from Canada, got married to a USC. But since he couldn't prove a reliable income, his brother sponsored me. It was all on good faith... but it failed, on my part. Not a matter of abuse, but I couldn't stand no more to see him do nothing, he worked the first year.. then find himself too sick to go to work.. would find a job, and couldn't keep it, because he always called in sick.. just because he didn't like the job no more... anyhow...

We lived together for two years, at his mom, so no paper work, lease, morgage to prove we lived together. We have practically no prove we were together. We didn't have a common bank account, because he has too many debts, and I didn't want the little money I make taken to pay his many debts. He didn't help me get my driver license for being too lazy.

We filled for taxes together twice, or once. We have pictures, I could have affidavit from his mom, family, mine that we indeed lived together, and that I also helped his mom pay for things....

I don't really want to be deported.. but My green card was approved in may 2007, and now I have to file before Feb 15 of this year. I left back in Dec 2008 to live in another state.. was too tired to deal with him and all his money issues. I haven't filed for divorce and he hasn't eitherAny idea what I should do?

And If it comes down to that, if I leave before the green card is expired... and just drop everything... am I considered deported and not able to visit the USA no more?

[msnoob 3]

To remove conditions, I think you must do so jointly (meaning that you are still with your husband -- living as husband and wife) or do so alone if your husband died, you are divorced, you were battered or terminating your status would cause hardship.

Hopefully others can provide more insight... :-)

[edmagenta5 0]

Upps..what happened..seems like your husband never grew-up..well, my advice is you two should get a marriage counselor first..i mean what happened..did you just got married for some reason?? I know I shouldn't be asking this..isn't it suppose to be for better or for worst?? good luck in the future..

I doubt the title is clear enough.

I am from Canada, got married to a USC. But since he couldn't prove a reliable income, his brother sponsored me. It was all on good faith... but it failed, on my part. Not a matter of abuse, but I couldn't stand no more to see him do nothing, he worked the first year.. then find himself too sick to go to work.. would find a job, and couldn't keep it, because he always called in sick.. just because he didn't like the job no more... anyhow...

We lived together for two years, at his mom, so no paper work, lease, morgage to prove we lived together. We have practically no prove we were together. We didn't have a common bank account, because he has too many debts, and I didn't want the little money I make taken to pay his many debts. He didn't help me get my driver license for being too lazy.

We filled for taxes together twice, or once. We have pictures, I could have affidavit from his mom, family, mine that we indeed lived together, and that I also helped his mom pay for things....

I don't really want to be deported.. but My green card was approved in may 2007, and now I have to file before Feb 15 of this year. I left back in Dec 2008 to live in another state.. was too tired to deal with him and all his money issues. I haven't filed for divorce and he hasn't eitherAny idea what I should do?

And If it comes down to that, if I leave before the green card is expired... and just drop everything... am I considered deported and not able to visit the USA no more?

[M. 0]

As far as I know, if you're concerned about living in the US in the future, you can contact USCIS and explain that you're no longer going to be a green card holder, then return to Canada, no harm no foul. Then, if you meet another guy -- one who's an emotional adult as well as a physical one -- you can apply again without issue.

If you want to remain in the US without him, that is a much trickier situation and I'd recommend contacting an immigration attorney, as I do not believe that having a husband who is immature is grounds for a hardship exception to joint filing. But IANAL, so it's best to consult one.

[cwb 0]

HELOO...I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT...SISTER...I'VE BEEN HAVING THE SAME PROBLEMS...BUT, GO BACK, NO MATTER WHAT, STICK IN THERE OR, GIVE UP, NO GREEN CARD...UNFORTUNATELY THAT'S HOW IT IS. YOU GOT TO DECIDE WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU...ONE MORE YOEAR OR HALF WITH HIM OR NO GREEN CARD. I'M SORRY BUT I HAVE A FRIEND THAT'S A IMMIGRATION LAWYER, AND SO IT IS. GOOD LUCK!

I doubt the title is clear enough.

I am from Canada, got married to a USC. But since he couldn't prove a reliable income, his brother sponsored me. It was all on good faith... but it failed, on my part. Not a matter of abuse, but I couldn't stand no more to see him do nothing, he worked the first year.. then find himself too sick to go to work.. would find a job, and couldn't keep it, because he always called in sick.. just because he didn't like the job no more... anyhow...

We lived together for two years, at his mom, so no paper work, lease, morgage to prove we lived together. We have practically no prove we were together. We didn't have a common bank account, because he has too many debts, and I didn't want the little money I make taken to pay his many debts. He didn't help me get my driver license for being too lazy.

We filled for taxes together twice, or once. We have pictures, I could have affidavit from his mom, family, mine that we indeed lived together, and that I also helped his mom pay for things....

I don't really want to be deported.. but My green card was approved in may 2007, and now I have to file before Feb 15 of this year. I left back in Dec 2008 to live in another state.. was too tired to deal with him and all his money issues. I haven't filed for divorce and he hasn't eitherAny idea what I should do?

And If it comes down to that, if I leave before the green card is expired... and just drop everything... am I considered deported and not able to visit the USA no more?

[SkyWalker23 0]

yup, i know how hard that is..im in a similar situation and have had lots of sleepless nights. From what I've gathered you should file jointly since you're not officially divorced yet; even though you're physically separated. You could then get a divorce while your i-751 is in, withdraw the application and file for a waiver, however, that would be the best option if you had plenty and i mean plenty of supporting evidence, apparently that's not your (our) :0) case. So...the best option I've found is to apply jointly (considering that your spouse is wiling to help you) and face the interview which most certain is going to happen as a separated (but not divorced) couple. At the interview you should be as honest as you can, and present statements from you and your spouse explaining your marriage and how it's coming to an end..at least that's what i plan on doing..and you know what, I've kicked myself over and over as you probably have, for not keeping more records but there's nothing i can do now. So, stay calm, relax and do what u think is best, eventually everything works out for the better. there's always a way.

As for leaving, if you don't apply to remove conditions, you HAVE to leave before your gc expires. But, by applying you'll get a extension for 1 year which would give you time to make a better decision.

Hope i helped..good luck

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

You don't want to share your finances with him because he's in debt? Didn't you know this when you married? That's partially your debt now since you're married, or did you only marry him for the benefits? Like a shiny new greencard, and then divorce him right after you remove conditions. It's sickening to know that there are others like you who only plan to stay together until they remove conditions, and then "see you later" to the sucker who fell for these golddiggers.

If you had an ounce of honor, you'd go back home. But you've come a long way, you're almost at the finish line, right???

[HannahP 119]

You don't want to share your finances with him because he's in debt? Didn't you know this when you married? That's partially your debt now since you're married, or did you only marry him for the benefits? Like a shiny new greencard, and then divorce him right after you remove conditions. It's sickening to know that there are others like you who only plan to stay together until they remove conditions, and then "see you later" to the sucker who fell for these golddiggers.

If you had an ounce of honor, you'd go back home. But you've come a long way, you're almost at the finish line, right???

Um, the only debt that is legally theirs is the debt that was incurred while they were married. Any debt that he carried over is HIS, and rightfully so.

Plenty of people never merge finances -- my husband and I included. It's simply what we were taught by our parents. Not merging finances because of his debt seems like a very good idea, in fact. Why throw both of your credit ratings down the drain because you're married?

I'm not certain how the OP qualifies as a gold digger. It's not like she was immigrating from a poorer country to a richer one. Her quality of living has probably decreased since she moved to the US -- she did stay with a man who lives with his mom and hasn't held a steady job for a year.

[Dakine 26]

I guess i come from a different school. To me you and your mate are a team trying to better yourselfs. If one entered the relationship with a debt both peeps work together to pay it off and move on to a better loving life.

Sure makes things easier in regards to proving a bona fide marriage. To me it makes for a better relationship also.

[M. 0]

I guess i come from a different school. To me you and your mate are a team trying to better yourselfs. If one entered the relationship with a debt both peeps work together to pay it off and move on to a better loving life.

Sure makes things easier in regards to proving a bona fide marriage. To me it makes for a better relationship also.

It may make you *feel* better to merge everything, but for some people, it is fiscally irresponsible to do so.

For example, imagine a couple where (for whatever reason) the husband's credit is in the proverbial toilet -- a score of 380 because of bankruptcy and defaulted student loans (which are not dischargable in bankruptcy). He married a girl from another country and brought her to the USA.

She has no credit, good or bad. IF they join their finances, she is not legally obligated to any of that prior debt of his (thank goodness!) but her credit score could "piggyback" off of his, ie. be 380 because his is 380. Now, if he was living with his mom, they'll BOTH have to live there for up to 7 years until the credit mess is cleaned off his credit report.

On the OTHER hand, if she DOESN'T merge financially with him, she can establish her own credit score independent of his (even though she's married to him). Then, she can apply for apartments in her name only, get a mortgage in her name only, and they can move out his parents' home.

Additionally, having assets in your own name is very important if the marriage should break up for any reason (except for spousal abuse, which can pretty much wipe out the entire assets of the abuser.) It is MUCH easier to dissolve a marriage when each party has assets in their own name--and much less expensive--because there is an unbroken chain of ownership. Comingled assets will have to be equitably distributed, a process which is incredibly difficult for a pro se litigant and will incur thousands of dollars in legal fees.

In the example, if the couple comingled everything, not only would the wife's credit be totally screwed up until it was cleaned up (something she's not legally responsible to do until she takes on the debt voluntarily) but if they divorced after she comingled assets and liabilities, she'd be responsible for both the assets she acquired and the debts he racked up before she even met him. And once divorced, her credit score would stay ruined until she accrued a long enough credit history to undo his damage.

Furthermore, let's say this wonderful but bad-with-cash husband's debt all is because of an ex-wife. If Mr. Wonderful doesn't pay his alimony or child support, the new wife won't see a penny of any jointly-filed tax return...even if he doesn't work a day during the entire year...because his name is on the return. Ditto for tax return interception filed by the student loan company. Her money, gone, because it made her feel warm and fuzzy to comingle assets unwisely.

Now, if your new spouse has an excellent credit score, than co-mingling is absolutely smart for those people who need to prove to the government that they're a real couple. But for people with terrible credit, child support or alimony payments, massive amounts of debt, or those with incredible amounts of wealth (for whom the word pre-nup should be well known), co-mingling assets can be a very, very, VERY fiscally STUPID move.

[M. 0]

You don't want to share your finances with him because he's in debt? Didn't you know this when you married? That's partially your debt now since you're married, or did you only marry him for the benefits? Like a shiny new greencard, and then divorce him right after you remove conditions. It's sickening to know that there are others like you who only plan to stay together until they remove conditions, and then "see you later" to the sucker who fell for these golddiggers.

If you had an ounce of honor, you'd go back home. But you've come a long way, you're almost at the finish line, right???

Wow, I don't know which is better -- your stereotyping or your complete ignorance regarding personal finance and credit reporting. There are very solid reasons while couples who are in love also don't comingle assets. I outlined them above.

[mbmw 0]

HELOO...I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT...SISTER...I'VE BEEN HAVING THE SAME PROBLEMS...BUT, GO BACK, NO MATTER WHAT, STICK IN THERE OR, GIVE UP, NO GREEN CARD...UNFORTUNATELY THAT'S HOW IT IS. YOU GOT TO DECIDE WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU...ONE MORE YOEAR OR HALF WITH HIM OR NO GREEN CARD. I'M SORRY BUT I HAVE A FRIEND THAT'S A IMMIGRATION LAWYER, AND SO IT IS. GOOD LUCK!

I doubt the title is clear enough.

I am from Canada, got married to a USC. But since he couldn't prove a reliable income, his brother sponsored me. It was all on good faith... but it failed, on my part. Not a matter of abuse, but I couldn't stand no more to see him do nothing, he worked the first year.. then find himself too sick to go to work.. would find a job, and couldn't keep it, because he always called in sick.. just because he didn't like the job no more... anyhow...

We lived together for two years, at his mom, so no paper work, lease, morgage to prove we lived together. We have practically no prove we were together. We didn't have a common bank account, because he has too many debts, and I didn't want the little money I make taken to pay his many debts. He didn't help me get my driver license for being too lazy.

We filled for taxes together twice, or once. We have pictures, I could have affidavit from his mom, family, mine that we indeed lived together, and that I also helped his mom pay for things....

I don't really want to be deported.. but My green card was approved in may 2007, and now I have to file before Feb 15 of this year. I left back in Dec 2008 to live in another state.. was too tired to deal with him and all his money issues. I haven't filed for divorce and he hasn't eitherAny idea what I should do?

And If it comes down to that, if I leave before the green card is expired... and just drop everything... am I considered deported and not able to visit the USA no more?

That was Ghetto, straight from some Hood!

Edited February 10, 2009 by mbmw

[mbmw 0]

You don't want to share your finances with him because he's in debt? Didn't you know this when you married? That's partially your debt now since you're married, or did you only marry him for the benefits? Like a shiny new greencard, and then divorce him right after you remove conditions. It's sickening to know that there are others like you who only plan to stay together until they remove conditions, and then "see you later" to the sucker who fell for these golddiggers.

If you had an ounce of honor, you'd go back home. But you've come a long way, you're almost at the finish line, right???

Um, the only debt that is legally theirs is the debt that was incurred while they were married. Any debt that he carried over is HIS, and rightfully so.

Plenty of people never merge finances -- my husband and I included. It's simply what we were taught by our parents. Not merging finances because of his debt seems like a very good idea, in fact. Why throw both of your credit ratings down the drain because you're married?

I'm not certain how the OP qualifies as a gold digger. It's not like she was immigrating from a poorer country to a richer one. Her quality of living has probably decreased since she moved to the US -- she did stay with a man who lives with his mom and hasn't held a steady job for a year.

She might not be from a poor country, but she is from Canada!!! I mean really!!! Canada!!!

[justashooter 430]

HELOO...I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT...SISTER...I'VE BEEN HAVING THE SAME PROBLEMS...BUT, GO BACK, NO MATTER WHAT, STICK IN THERE OR, GIVE UP, NO GREEN CARD...UNFORTUNATELY THAT'S HOW IT IS. YOU GOT TO DECIDE WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU...ONE MORE YOEAR OR HALF WITH HIM OR NO GREEN CARD. I'M SORRY BUT I HAVE A FRIEND THAT'S A IMMIGRATION LAWYER, AND SO IT IS. GOOD LUCK!

after all, we are all marrying for the green card, aren't we? even if we have to live with some looser for a few years, we get to adjust, and eventually even call ourselves American citizens.

no wonder this country is going to hell. it's people like this dragging us down there.

[HannahP 119]

I guess i come from a different school. To me you and your mate are a team trying to better yourselfs. If one entered the relationship with a debt both peeps work together to pay it off and move on to a better loving life.

Sure makes things easier in regards to proving a bona fide marriage. To me it makes for a better relationship also.

Dude, debt brought into marriage is one of the top reasons that newlyweds divorce. However you handle it, it should probably be handled before you tie the knot.

And, yeah, I'm sorry but it's Canada. Not only do they tend to have the same standard of living as Americans, but it's also pretty easy to cross the border and work illegally. (Nobody complains because it's harder to tell 'em apart.) Never mind the OP's actual circumstances. Maybe she's a retarded gold digger?!