How would you feel

[childress_london 3]

ie arranged marriage and marriage in muslim world (thinking towards) esp for men is not marriage for love, its marriage for need and survival. societal as well as personal. Love in a marriage develops through time when the adjustment is done and repsect is achieved mutually and ya both grow up and stat serving and doing for each other instead of thinking of self and being hurt and Yada. To him the golden time is to come if youare the right person. keep nagging on him and he will have serious doubts. Go away together and enjoy tiem together to pamper and coddle each other sxytime. quit thinking soo much and putting hollywood ideals on romance and love. muslin marriage (or any other God based marriage) love grows, in western marriage it seems love is at the beginning and then fades. count yourself lucky instead of crying for what you though was then. Go to husband say sorry for your side of misunderstanding and how can you help him adjust and that he is doing a fine job with work and all so far. build him up instead of tearing him down Jeesh Qudah Hafiz

Fruitcake, her husband denied her health insurance when she has a serious medical condition. Do you really think she should go to him and say sorry I misunderstood you? Thank you so much loving husband for being inconsiderate and not showing concern for my health? Her problems are far beyond just normal disagreements and adjustments in a marriage. We're not talking here about whether to separate undies from the other laundry, or whether to sleep on top or or under the sheets.

[bhajishah 4]

well then why keep beating a dead horse, they dont understand each other, then just leave and eventually find a more compatable mate, I dont know all circumstances. true. but on et on and et on every month the same thing .she trying to make im magically love him when the discord and nagging on both ends not matching. talk it out ha I would yell and throw the words on him for not giving me health needs . it Haram very much but to cry myself whine no, it him hard with words and maybe he think you not some step stone even if it get better or hhe go away you have some self respect.

[Nagishkaw 510]

well then why keep beating a dead horse, they dont understand each other, then just leave and eventually find a more compatable mate, I dont know all circumstances. true. but on et on and et on every month the same thing .she trying to make im magically love him when the discord and nagging on both ends not matching. talk it out ha I would yell and throw the words on him for not giving me health needs . it Haram very much but to cry myself whine no, it him hard with words and maybe he think you not some step stone even if it get better or hhe go away you have some self respect.

I would think that in itself is Haram.

[bhajishah 4]

Not bad words or things like that I would point out how it was Haram his actions and how it hurts his family. SO back off the assumptions there rightio

thread not about me so dont attack me personal eh. ntorious big

[bhajishah 4]

crying whining, running to others and not being honest of feelings with husband now that is Haram and not healthy in any husband wife relations. Some time honesty may hurt , but it solve probelm eiather way soon be done and over.. nothing Haram about that. Cheating husband out of real wife now that not good at all

[JODO 2]

ie arranged marriage and marriage in muslim world (thinking towards) esp for men is not marriage for love, its marriage for need and survival. societal as well as personal. Love in a marriage develops through time when the adjustment is done and repsect is achieved mutually and ya both grow up and stat serving and doing for each other instead of thinking of self and being hurt and Yada. To him the golden time is to come if youare the right person. keep nagging on him and he will have serious doubts. Go away together and enjoy tiem together to pamper and coddle each other sxytime. quit thinking soo much and putting hollywood ideals on romance and love. muslin marriage (or any other God based marriage) love grows, in western marriage it seems love is at the beginning and then fades. count yourself lucky instead of crying for what you though was then. Go to husband say sorry for your side of misunderstanding and how can you help him adjust and that he is doing a fine job with work and all so far. build him up instead of tearing him down Jeesh Qudah Hafiz

Nevermind.

Edited January 25, 2009 by JODO

[Aymsgirl 0]

ie arranged marriage and marriage in muslim world (thinking towards) esp for men is not marriage for love, its marriage for need and survival. societal as well as personal. Love in a marriage develops through time when the adjustment is done and repsect is achieved mutually and ya both grow up and stat serving and doing for each other instead of thinking of self and being hurt and Yada. To him the golden time is to come if youare the right person. keep nagging on him and he will have serious doubts. Go away together and enjoy tiem together to pamper and coddle each other sxytime. quit thinking soo much and putting hollywood ideals on romance and love. muslin marriage (or any other God based marriage) love grows, in western marriage it seems love is at the beginning and then fades. count yourself lucky instead of crying for what you though was then. Go to husband say sorry for your side of misunderstanding and how can you help him adjust and that he is doing a fine job with work and all so far. build him up instead of tearing him down Jeesh Qudah Hafiz

Nevermind.

I totally disagree with askfruitcakelady on this one. I am Muslim and I am married to a Muslim and our marriage was for love, caring, respect, we fit together and didn't put on a fake front in the beginning to fool the other. I feel for the person who posted this because if her side of the story is correct this man works, yes but that is just about all that he has to offer her. This just isn't a marriage that is healthy to each other but then again I agree two sides to each story.....I wish them the best.

[nunyab 0]

just a note but often times when we are not happy in the present we put those feelings in the past I forgot the psyc term but whatever feelings we have now is how we feel about the past. I would suggest not rushing but I truly can tell how hard it would've been to hear such words from the man you love.

I wish you all the best and know we are always here for you.

[Ihavequestions 419]

well then why keep beating a dead horse, they dont understand each other, then just leave and eventually find a more compatable mate, I dont know all circumstances. true. but on et on and et on every month the same thing .she trying to make im magically love him when the discord and nagging on both ends not matching. talk it out ha I would yell and throw the words on him for not giving me health needs . it Haram very much but to cry myself whine no, it him hard with words and maybe he think you not some step stone even if it get better or hhe go away you have some self respect.

Bazubt!

[Ahmed N Cheryl 0]

Wow Nutty my heart and prayers go out to you.

I agree marriages are hard work....even when there is true love. We all are individuals and when we marry we have to learn to adapt and consider the other one's personality and beliefs.

Ahmed and I fight some like anyone but we truly love eachother and we both compromise. We are committed to eachother and to our marriage.

I cannot begin to tell you what is best for you....only you know the answer to that one. It is hard to forget hurtful things that are said. The biggest question is do you still love him? Do you want the marriage to work? Whatever you decide we wish you the best and wil always be here for you.

Cheryl

[Rosalinda 0]

I am sorry about what your going through in your marriage I wish you the best Nutty

[bhajishah 4]

It takes time for real love to grow strong, love does not fade is all Im saying. You really dont know someone truely unless you live with them a few yrs, married/. thats just everyday common grown up sense

[morocco4ever 63]

It takes time for real love to grow strong, love does not fade is all Im saying. You really dont know someone truely unless you live with them a few yrs, married/. thats just everyday common grown up sense

It may take real love to grow, but it takes real ugliness to deny your wife medical help. Most people wouldn't do this to a total stranger. To do it to your wife shows some very deep seated mental issues IMO.

[SaadBell 0]

I am so sorry for all you are going through, sounds like your husband’s thinking is a little stone aged. If he doesn’t agree to counseling you go for yourself. Get yourself healthy, and then decide what to do. It is always a good idea to have an educated therapist to use as a sounding board, now that you are in crisis is not the time to make any major decisions. Give yourself some time and seek some professional help, don’t do anything without really giving yourself some time for healing. Talking about your feelings and even writing about your feelings is a good step towards making a decision. Let us know how you are doing, but do go and seek a professional marriage counselor, and take your time, this is a big decision. Hang in there, this too will pass.

[caybee 21]

It takes time for real love to grow strong, love does not fade is all Im saying. You really dont know someone truely unless you live with them a few yrs, married/. thats just everyday common grown up sense

It may take real love to grow, but it takes real ugliness to deny your wife medical help. Most people wouldn't do this to a total stranger. To do it to your wife shows some very deep seated mental issues IMO.

Exactly. Some people put off divorces so their soon-to-be-exes won't lose medical insurance at a crucial time. What kind of person balks at adding his wife to his policy, especially when she offers to pay the difference in premium HERSELF?