How would you feel

[Lost pilgrim 0]

We are both not happy now. We argue a lot.

So we had a nice, calm discussion a few weeks ago when walking through the Forest. We were talking about the option of seperating. He totally unhappy with me now. And I am totally unhappy with him. I said, "in Iran I was 95% happy with you and our relationship. Sure, I had problems there. But it was adjusting the the rules and the family pressence/lack of privacy." He said, "well, I was only 50% happy with you then."

I was shocked. What would be considered our "golden time" the first months of really living together he was never really happy with me. Only partially happy. I later asked his if this was really true and he said yes.

It has really broken my heart by this. To think that he has never truely been happy with me. Only a little happy.

How would you feel if your husband said this to you?

[Y's_habibitk 2]

We are both not happy now. We argue a lot.

So we had a nice, calm discussion a few weeks ago when walking through the Forest. We were talking about the option of seperating. He totally unhappy with me now. And I am totally unhappy with him. I said, "in Iran I was 95% happy with you and our relationship. Sure, I had problems there. But it was adjusting the the rules and the family pressence/lack of privacy." He said, "well, I was only 50% happy with you then."

I was shocked. What would be considered our "golden time" the first months of really living together he was never really happy with me. Only partially happy. I later asked his if this was really true and he said yes.

It has really broken my heart by this. To think that he has never truely been happy with me. Only a little happy.

How would you feel if your husband said this to you?

Nutty,

It would break my heart also.

But, I would take it as the adjustment to living here and as a husband, not his happiness with you personally. I would try and think of it liek that. Does that make sense?

[Staashi 371]

Tina, God bless you.

If he said that to me, I'd be very, very sad and feel like I've been living a lie. I'm hearing that song in my head "Con te Partiro" - aka "Time to Say Goodbye" from Andrea Bocelli.

[SAT 9,609]

We are both not happy now. We argue a lot.

So we had a nice, calm discussion a few weeks ago when walking through the Forest. We were talking about the option of seperating. He totally unhappy with me now. And I am totally unhappy with him. I said, "in Iran I was 95% happy with you and our relationship. Sure, I had problems there. But it was adjusting the the rules and the family pressence/lack of privacy." He said, "well, I was only 50% happy with you then."

I was shocked. What would be considered our "golden time" the first months of really living together he was never really happy with me. Only partially happy. I later asked his if this was really true and he said yes.

It has really broken my heart by this. To think that he has never truely been happy with me. Only a little happy.

How would you feel if your husband said this to you?

Hi lost, I cannot offer a lot of advice to you. But I can share my experience.

I have been through many relationships in my life. But never a marriage. I am now married for the first time, and I must say, it takes a lot of adjusting. But I had already know through my friends and such, that the first days,weeks, months, even years, can be rough. I knew that, and with that I warned my wife that we were probably going to fight a lot. And she promised me that we will get thru it. And you know what? we did. We fought a lot. But we had a commitment to eachother that we shall overcome. And we did.

There were times when I said things that I didn't mean, and she did the same. In my heart, she knows that I love her deeply. And I know she loves me too.

In closing, here is the only advice I can offer you. HANG IN THERE. See if he wants to make a commitment to get thru this with you. Warn him that you may argue a lot. But promise him that you will get thru it.

Goodluck.

[Staashi 371]

We are both not happy now. We argue a lot.

So we had a nice, calm discussion a few weeks ago when walking through the Forest. We were talking about the option of seperating. He totally unhappy with me now. And I am totally unhappy with him. I said, "in Iran I was 95% happy with you and our relationship. Sure, I had problems there. But it was adjusting the the rules and the family pressence/lack of privacy." He said, "well, I was only 50% happy with you then."

I was shocked. What would be considered our "golden time" the first months of really living together he was never really happy with me. Only partially happy. I later asked his if this was really true and he said yes.

It has really broken my heart by this. To think that he has never truely been happy with me. Only a little happy.

How would you feel if your husband said this to you?

Nutty,

It would break my heart also.

But, I would take it as the adjustment to living here and as a husband, not his happiness with you personally. I would try and think of it liek that. Does that make sense?

But he said he felt the same way with her in Iran.

Edited January 21, 2009 by Staashi

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

We are both not happy now. We argue a lot.

So we had a nice, calm discussion a few weeks ago when walking through the Forest. We were talking about the option of seperating. He totally unhappy with me now. And I am totally unhappy with him. I said, "in Iran I was 95% happy with you and our relationship. Sure, I had problems there. But it was adjusting the the rules and the family pressence/lack of privacy." He said, "well, I was only 50% happy with you then."

I was shocked. What would be considered our "golden time" the first months of really living together he was never really happy with me. Only partially happy. I later asked his if this was really true and he said yes.

It has really broken my heart by this. To think that he has never truely been happy with me. Only a little happy.

How would you feel if your husband said this to you?

Nutty,

It would break my heart also.

But, I would take it as the adjustment to living here and as a husband, not his happiness with you personally. I would try and think of it liek that. Does that make sense?

But he said he felt the same way with her in Iran.

yeah, that would tend to take the wind outta one's sails.

my question is if he really felt that way then, why did he come here?

for nutty

[Y's_habibitk 2]

We are both not happy now. We argue a lot.

So we had a nice, calm discussion a few weeks ago when walking through the Forest. We were talking about the option of seperating. He totally unhappy with me now. And I am totally unhappy with him. I said, "in Iran I was 95% happy with you and our relationship. Sure, I had problems there. But it was adjusting the the rules and the family pressence/lack of privacy." He said, "well, I was only 50% happy with you then."

I was shocked. What would be considered our "golden time" the first months of really living together he was never really happy with me. Only partially happy. I later asked his if this was really true and he said yes.

It has really broken my heart by this. To think that he has never truely been happy with me. Only a little happy.

How would you feel if your husband said this to you?

Nutty,

It would break my heart also.

But, I would take it as the adjustment to living here and as a husband, not his happiness with you personally. I would try and think of it liek that. Does that make sense?

But he said he felt the same way with her in Iran.

ooohhhh! I thought HE said he was 95% in Iran, then to 50%. Im sorry Nutty. Forget what I said before.

I would be devastated and crushed. Im so sorry

Lisa

[Nothing1234 2]

Nutty,

I'm very sorry to hear that. But sometimes people say very stupid things out of anger. As Charles said, why did he come here to even try if he was that unhappy. He's being immature and ignorant but I wonder if its just his stress of adjusting causing him to say these things.

I wish you the best

Nawal

[morocco4ever 63]

Crushing blow I must admit.

Does the thought of separation bring peace to both of your hearts, or fear? Do you both still love each other?

This is a hard one. Sometimes I feel it is better to part before it turns nasty, but then there is a side of me that says that if there is still love it is worth fighting for. Whatever you 2 decide I surely wish you the best.

[tom&tata 2]

Nutty,

I'm very sorry to hear that. But sometimes people say very stupid things out of anger. As Charles said, why did he come here to even try if he was that unhappy. He's being immature and ignorant but I wonder if its just his stress of adjusting causing him to say these things.

I wish you the best

Nawal

Agree with this one. Although it does not make it right what he said to you, he can be saying that out of anger. Did you ask what made him only 50% happy back then? And why he never told you about it? I'd be hurt & curious both at the same time.

[SAT 9,609]

Nutty,

I'm very sorry to hear that. But sometimes people say very stupid things out of anger. As Charles said, why did he come here to even try if he was that unhappy. He's being immature and ignorant but I wonder if its just his stress of adjusting causing him to say these things.

I wish you the best

Nawal

Agree with this one. Although it does not make it right what he said to you, he can be saying that out of anger. Did you ask what made him only 50% happy back then? And why he never told you about it? I'd be hurt & curious both at the same time.

When I was fighting with my wife, I was really angry, and I told her that I was the King of England.......but I really didn't mean it.

[crazyinEgypt 0]

I'm so sorry for this. I know you're heart must be breaking. Sounds like he didn't think a lot of things through before making that big step to come here.

[Lost pilgrim 0]

We are both not happy now. We argue a lot.

So we had a nice, calm discussion a few weeks ago when walking through the Forest. We were talking about the option of seperating. He totally unhappy with me now. And I am totally unhappy with him. I said, "in Iran I was 95% happy with you and our relationship. Sure, I had problems there. But it was adjusting the the rules and the family pressence/lack of privacy." He said, "well, I was only 50% happy with you then."

I was shocked. What would be considered our "golden time" the first months of really living together he was never really happy with me. Only partially happy. I later asked his if this was really true and he said yes.

It has really broken my heart by this. To think that he has never truely been happy with me. Only a little happy.

How would you feel if your husband said this to you?

Nutty,

It would break my heart also.

But, I would take it as the adjustment to living here and as a husband, not his happiness with you personally. I would try and think of it liek that. Does that make sense?

But he said he felt the same way with her in Iran.

yeah, that would tend to take the wind outta one's sails.

my question is if he really felt that way then, why did he come here?

for nutty

Exactly Charles!!!! That was my question to! "If you were not so happy with living with me in Iran. Then why did you come here?" He replied, "I withheld judgement, I don't rush to judge the situation."

I feel he would have saved me so much trouble and heartbreak if he had told me his true feelings back in Iran. I would have never come back to USA to start a new life here, or sponsor him to come to USA. We would have both been saved a lot of heart ache.

[Staashi 371]

Tina, I don't want to go there, but do you think it was for a greencard since he came over on a CR1?

[JODO 2]

Sorry about the edit,but I sent you a PM.

Edited January 21, 2009 by JODO