American Woman Bitter and Lonely?!

[Mykuls Merry Ann 4]

I can see this turning into another foreign woman bashing thread.

Why does it have to be bashing? Cant we discuss things maturely, and then laugh at our differences?

you haven't been here long have you?

Not really, but I have seen what these things can turn into.

Look, the American mating system has been destroyed. And its the fault of both american men and women for this problem. One should really ask the question to americans why they are not marrying each other.

American men and women are both seeking mates outside of their own countries in large numbers. Have you noticed the large number of american women who seek mates in Muslim countries? Something went very wrong in America. And we cant fix it anymore. Hence the reason that so many of them are looking for mates abroad.

I agree - people in general are too isolated from each other and are both(men and women) fed with unrealistic expectations - it is easier to go online in this culture and admit basically that you are lonely and want to get married rather than pretend IRL that you just want 'friendship' and try so many ways to meet eligible mates, even harder because so many jobs are more-or-less sex-segregated. Things like borrowing someone's dog to walk so a guy will supposedly come up and talk to you....pathetic. And if you are female and a loser in the looks department and don't have so much shelf appeal then you are out of the running. Same as if you are a guy who is unemployed or in a 'loser' job. It is maybe better in some countries where there is arranged marriage, it is not so desperate and competitive I think, when you meet someone you know both of you have the same goal in mind and are probably on the same level income- and looks-wise and have similar philosophy of life. Of course I am not talking about forced marriage but where the prospective bride and groom can say no if they don't think it will work.

This is the sad part about meeting someone to be a possible mate in American culture. So many people get eliminated from the "potential pool" of possible mates based on extremely shallow traits. This is due to the hightened expectations of Americans themselves. I once heard on news talk show, not sure which one, how someone was saying that America needs its own form of "arranged marriage". Many people in America simply dont know how to connect to with the opposite sex. Like you say, people are so isolated and individualistic, that they are no known cultural traditions by which male a female actually have a chance to meet. Bars, and clubs simply are not a place to look for a potential mate. You go to the park, and people seem to be aloof, and independent. We can ask what happened?...but likely the next few generations of americans will liv a life of lonliness (both men and women).

The thing that hurts american culture is it seems that men and women are competing against one another. I think this may also be spreading throughout the rest of the globe as well.

It seems all of our prosperity and success has left alot of Americans alone and lost. So what do they have to offer someone? How about a their citizenship?

But I think one has to ask the question why is this individual cannot find a husband/wife in their own country? American women and men both go at each other with vigor.

The last 40 some years american men have heard a lot of negative spewing at his image. It always fascinates me when women claim they dont want to talk about this issues, but some of the same women who secretly with their mom, girlfriends or on the internet messageboards will belittle their husbands and men openly.

I think recently in the past 15 years American men are not starting to speak to these issues as well. This has caused an uncomfortable feeling to some women who thought men would sit back and deal with the constant bashing that went on in the 70s and 80s, and continues today.

Alot of this has contributed to American men no longer looking at american women as potential mates. And with that move, some american women are now also looking abroad as well.

As for the newly husband/wife who comes to this country, they are almost shocked by the openness to speak on what they call sensitive issues. For example, my filipina sisters who have the right not to read such a thread, have been dissapointed that someone would make such a thread. But during all my stays in the Philippines I can list all the bashing of filipino men openly to you that would make your heart drop out of your body.

How some filipino men want to be treated like kings to, how they all cheat and gamble too much and on and on and on.....With so many men coming to marry filipina women, this has caused a serious marriage crisis in the country itself.

You would also think "Why is it that some of these women dont marry filipino men?"

I rented a car the last time I went to PH. One thiing stood out to me that made me wonder. I was driving towards Manila and getting of the NLEX into the city. My head happened to turn left. And I could not figure it out. But i saw at least hundreds of filipino men, who alot of them look half dressed, sitting on a side of the on ramp. Many of them look high, bakla, some were boys (as early as 12 maybe).

One also needs to ask the question, what is happening to the filipino male in all this.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

"american men, not strong enough for american women?" would that be an interesting thread?

You and I come from the MENA forum that is filled with women that are married to Arab men. I don't see threads like this, trashing american men, just to justify our choice in a spouse. What would be the point? Have some of us had bad experiences with an american man? You can bet on it. Then why don't we trash them? Mainly because we have been able to move on.

nail on the head

[RonMay 1]

it is what it is... CULTURE DIFFERENCES... you cant compare apples to oranges lol... oh and i do believe as much as there's lots of rotten apples and oranges around the world, there are some good ones too (which i highly recommend to focus on the good ones)... stereotyping and hasty generalization wont get you nowhere...

my 2 cents...

[Mykuls Merry Ann 4]

http://newsgroups.derkeiler.com/Archive/So...6/msg00026.html

Brutal Truth Dating Advice to Asian American Men (by my consultant)

* From: "Eclectic007@xxxxxxxxx" <Eclectic007@xxxxxxxxx>

* Date: Tue, 26 Jun 2007 07:49:00 -0700

www.happierabroad.com/Advice_Asian_Men.htm

Brutal Truth Dating Advice to Asian American Men (by my consultant)

It is no secret now that Asian men in America have

problems dating. There have been several programs on

TV already describing the fact that as an Asian man,

you have harder time finding a mate than your

Caucasian, African-American or Hispanic counterparts.

There have been articles in magazines and newspapers

addressing the same problem and describing its causes

(and effects). Few such programs or articles, however,

offer solutions to such men, and many still find

themselves lonely and bitter, although sometimes

pitied. However, more often than not, they simply end

up lonesome and dateless.

The deal seems to be this: Many Caucasian women in the

US do not find Asian American men manly enough to

consider them dating material. Many Asian women also

prefer Caucasian men, and the ones who prefer Asian

men, are apparently not enough to go around.

The US media often portrays Asian men as dorky

buffoons, skinny and freaky martial arts experts,

mathematics nerds, clumsy immigrants with mangled

English of the 'flied lice' variety", noodle shop

cooks or laundry managers, and not as being as

powerful and confident as White or African American

males, or as romantic as Hispanic men. Plus,

throughout the history of the US, Asian countries were

enemies whose males were to be killed on the

battlefield, and whose women were to be taken home to

mom as war brides after their men lie dead in the

jungle or at the bottom of the sea.

In other cases, Asian countries were often suppliers

of poor workers or indigent immigrants of all kinds to

provide cheap labors in developed, most often

Caucasian countries. Also, in the past, Asian

Americans, period, were victims of serious

discrimination coming from the government, a practice

which has since been abolished but whose residues

still haunt Asian men even today as they are not seen

as fully American by the US society. None of the above

has helped to create an image of a virile and

dependable Asian male, a potentially desirable mate

for American women to date and marry.

With the great improvements in Civil Rights, and the

general feeling of guilt coming from mainstream

population groups (whoever they may be) the situation

of the Asian minority has improved significantly, for

sure. The pejorative word "Oriental" has been stricken

down from printed materials and is avoided in daily

speech. The proud term "Asian American" has been born.

Asian men are in the government and politics, they run

successful businesses, they are achievers in the field

of science and technology, law and medicine However,

as far as American women of all colors seeing an Asian

American man as a preferred dating and marriage

partner goes, the state of affairs still leaves a lot

to be desired. In short, if you are an Asian man in

America, citizen or not, native-born or not, fluent in

English or not, rich or poor, you will have problems

dating ladies there.

Those Asian men, who feel that they are being

discriminated against on the US love market, resort to

several ways of dealing with the problem:

1) Ignoring it and playing the numbers game. If one

goes through enough dating ads, attends enough parties

and invites enough women out, there will be a number

of women who will want to date, and possibly have a

serious relationship with you. The men who go down the

path of copious dating and selection will disregard

any flak that comes their way in the process, and come

out winners in the end. That is a good strategy except

that it is not very likely that one could end up with

a high quality female partner in the end if one stops

his search too early. If one still continues dating,

ignores numerous rejections, and sieves through any

unreliable partners that appear in the process, one

will end up with a prize- a good and honest woman to

be one's companion in life. But boy, it is going to

take a really long time, believe me!

It is a rather daunting course of action, and is

not suitable for every Asian man, especially not for

those who come from a background that emphasizes

modesty and non-aggressiveness.

2) Developing a complex and hatred of American men of

other races, particularly those of the Caucasian race,

and writing articles and posts on the Internet

newsgroups and bulletin boards complaining about lack

of dates and the prejudice against Asian American men.

Interviews with commiserating media and videos on

youtube.com also become a vent for the frustrations of

such men. The hope is that the US society will change

and they will suddenly become accepted and welcomed as

romantic companions and more. This approach, while a

good therapy for one's psychological state, is still

not very effective in procuring potential dates any

time in the near future. In the end, one is either

angry and militaristically racist, and supported only

by other frustrated Asian men, or one is felt sorry

for. In both cases, one still often remains dateless.

3) Bringing a female partner from the Old Country.

For some reason, this approach is seen as un-cool by a

big number of Asian American men. They see it as a

step back, and feel that a woman from the Old Country

will become a burden on the already Americanized

husband, what with her old-fashioned customs and

behavior which will interfere with the further

acceptance of the couple and their children into the

American society. Only very traditional, mature in

age, or religious Asian men seem to opt for that

route; not the majority of the Asian male population

of the country.

4) Finally, there has recently been a trend among US

citizens of Asian extraction to date internationally.

One can call this trend Romantic

Multi-Nationalization. What happens is that after

having discovered the US love market to be of

unsatisfactory performance in the area of providing

them with dating opportunities, such men have decided

to cross oceans and date in other countries. They have

finally had the courage to claim a very important

truth: It is not their fault that the US society has

such stereotypes of them. It is not their fault that

Hollywood often portrays them as emasculated persons

who are not worthy of being admired by the opposite

sex. It is really the fault of the modern (and past)

US culture and the media which reflects it. Also,

since the Hollywood culture has infused its

stereotypes into many other countries making things

harder for Asian men all over the English-speaking

world, one needs to find a culture in which such

stereotypes have not yet spoiled things for Asian men.

The trend of Asian Americans traveling to other

nations in search of romantic opportunities is growing

as they are now discovering huge areas on Earth where

they are seen for what most of them truly are:

diligent, intelligent, honest and dependable Americans

with excellent work and business ethics, a great deal

of talent, gentleman-ness, decency and a sense of

responsibility that should make any female proud.

Also, in many countries the stereotypes of Asian men

are very positive to begin with. They are seen as

smart, sexy, brave, adventurous and as excellent

providers, too. They are not viewed as poor

immigrants running noodle shops, but as progressive

and confident modern Alfa-males. Yes, it is true. Go

to such places and see for yourself.

International dating also allows an Asian man to

finally meet numerous Caucasian women who look like

Hollywood actresses, and who will be happy to be

involved with the man romantically and look up to him

If you are an Asian American man, I would urge you to

explore this past option. However, you will need to

know where to go. The world is a big place and it

would make little sense to leave the US and go to,

say, England or Australia. Or China for that matter-

what with its huge surplus of men. It would not be

easy for you to compete with an army of several

million bachelors scouting the Chinese countryside in

search of brides.

The best places for Asian men are probably the

following:

Thailand, Philippines, Vietnam, Cambodia and even

Malaysia. Go there will allow such men to discover

their true potential as respected and dignified dating

and marriage partners. Asian guys coming from the US

are highly sought after as husbands and lovers (even

more so than Caucasian guys), and, upon arriving in

those places, they will enjoy high status and be

treated extremely well by the local female population.

In Europe, it seems that the countries whose

ethnicities have had a high admixture of Asian "blood"

(Tat-C chromosome) through past Asian migrations

there, welcome Asian men in ways that the US ( or

British, Australian, Canadian and any other society

founded by British settlers) never has. Large areas in

Eastern Europe, in particular, the Baltic countries of

Estonia and Lithuania (currently EU members), have

shown to be very accepting and friendly to American

Asian males, and is a place where a growing number of

such travelers have been able to find incredible

opportunities for social life and romance. Many Asian

men's previously almost unattainable dream of finding

a "gorgeous blond and blue-eyed girlfriend", has came

true with ease as soon as they started dating in those

countries.

Belarus is another country where Asian men, even those

who are not American, have been able to feel accepted,

and where they have enjoyed good treatment and many

new possibilities for abundant "romancing".

Parts of Russia and other CIS countries (outside of

Moscow and St. Petersburg) have also been described as

very good for such Asian men although the growing

Fascist element in the country is making it more and

more dangerous for foreigners by the year. Still, if

one knows his way around these places, one will do

very well there and be able to avoid trouble in the

process.

Parts of Brazil, according to some sources, have

proven to be excellent, and some Asian men have been

able to mingle freely with the local population and

date beautiful women there.

France is another country in which Asian men (those

who can speak French- a necessity there) have reported

that they have been treated quite well by the local

females. They were finally able to date as normal

human beings should, and, quite possibly, get married

as normal human beings should. Upon arrival in the US,

however, they would more often than not again face

ostracism from the majority of the US women.

Yes, this ostracism seems to be a sad reality for many

an Asian man in the "Anglo Saxon" world, and it is

high time for decisive steps be taken to solve that

insidious problem. Waiting around until the attitudes

and stereotypes of the American society change for the

better (which may take decades) does not seem to be an

effective technique of solving it. Hence, such love

travel appears to be a surgically efficient way of

dealing with it.

So, maybe it is time to do some research, save up some

money and buy that ticket. You will be able to solve

the dateless-ness and gloom that many Asian guys face

in America by living in more than one country. Unless

you look like the Hunchback of Notredame or are the

Elephant Man, the success is virtually guaranteed

because quite a few Asian men are already doing the

same and are reporting excellent results.

It may not be an easy path to take, but the rewards

will be tremendous. You may have to learn new

languages, new rules and customs, and whole new ways

of life. However, your own life will be rewarding

beyond your wildest dreams. The only very important

condition that you need to fulfill is to be able to

support yourself while on the go, which is becoming

more and more possible with the help of the Internet

and the general globalization of the business

environment. Becoming a computer programmer online,

running a money-making website, living off rents, and

doing similar things whereby you are able to create a

cash flow from anywhere in the world, will liberate

you from having to be located in the US all the time

and depending on the unfriendly ( to you) US ( or the

UK, Australian, etc.) love market.

Life in many countries of the world is now very

similar to life in the US. The rest of the world is

now becoming developed and very similar to America in

terms of the variety of products, services and

business opportunities. You may even, one day, wish to

open a business in one of those countries. One only

need to dare to leave one's 9-5 job in the US as one's

romantic future does not seem to bode well for one who

dates there. Also, it would be better if one started

out as young as possible lest one end up a frustrated

middle-aged man who has missed his chance.

So, if you are an Asian American man (or a citizen of

any other immigrant nation such as Australia, Canada,

NZ, or even the UK), and you feel that life and love

are passing you by, do not become despondent.

Internationalize yourself! You will soon be living a

life that you truly deserve to live.

[mRs StOcKwElL 1]

it is what it is... CULTURE DIFFERENCES... you cant compare apples to oranges lol... oh and i do believe as much as there's lots of rotten apples and oranges around the world, there are some good ones too (which i highly recommend to focus on the good ones)... stereotyping and hasty generalization wont get you nowhere...

my 2 cents...

very well said!!!

[RonMay 1]

it is what it is... CULTURE DIFFERENCES... you cant compare apples to oranges lol... oh and i do believe as much as there's lots of rotten apples and oranges around the world, there are some good ones too (which i highly recommend to focus on the good ones)... stereotyping and hasty generalization wont get you nowhere...

my 2 cents...

very well said!!!

oooppppssss i was gona say CULTURAL DIFFERENCES but oh well...

[Mykuls Merry Ann 4]

i don't understand why the OP would start sensitive topic such as this. if you prefer to marry filipina women then you can just tell her good qualities and stop criticizing american women in a public forum such as VJ. what if your marriage with a filipina did not work out, are you also going to criticize her the way you criticized your american ex?

I dont prefer to marry filipina women. I prefer to marry the women I love who happens to be a filipina. And there is no critizism by me of American women.

But I feel ya...lets all be PC, it feels more comfortable...Dody dody dooooh!

[tallcoolone 102]

After being married to my Filipina wife, and having other friends and family whom are married to Pinays.

There is no way in hell I would marry another woman from America.

I have found the promise land, and now i share it with my friends.

I am happy and she has been the best thing to ever happen to me, and this seems to be a common theme from others whom marry Filipinas...

Edited January 20, 2009 by tallcoolone

[morocco4ever 63]

After being married to my Filipina wife, and having other friends and family whom are married to Pinays.

There is no way in hell I would marry another woman from America.

I have found the promise land, and now i share it with my friends.

I am happy and she has been the best thing to ever happen to me, and this seems to be a common theme from others whom marry Filipinas...

I am sure that many here are happy to hear this.

[Mykuls Merry Ann 4]

another topic of hateration,.,

dont hate just congratulate,, demn, i havent heard this line in a long time.. still the message is clear.. dont hate..

and please stop making topics that are sensitive.. issues that are better left unspoken and need not start an argument about them... seriously..

If you dont want the content then why click on the thread? Its freedom that you have with that mouse over there.

http://asiancemagazine.com/mar_2008/a_few_...sian_men?page=7

[rajemr2119 0]

First off American Woman are jealous of each other.

Then if they see a Pinay, they tend to be jealous cuz the Pinay has a sexy body and natural beauty that they don't posses.

American Woman is independence, to a point it hurts them. Why are so many on anti depressant drugs?

We have gotten to a point in USA where we are so politcally correct, Woman are put on pedestal in USA, and men are taught to take care of them.

You will see a fat and ugly woman in USA, and there is so man who is willing to kill for her.

Court systems and family court are sided to the Female.

You can hear an American woman get angry and tell her husband, I will Divorce you and take everything you own. How many time has a man told this to a woman, the answer is never.

I feel its not where a woman is from but whats in her heart and mind...and yes...american women have been soaked with society and the ####### on tv and the way we are towards each other..i had a wonderful marriage for 14 yrs and sometimes things dont work..but not all women in the us are bad..just like anywhere..everyone has issues....and philopino women are gorgeous but there are beautiful women all over the world...just need to let love find you..stop lookin and it will pop up when you least expect it...mine did...and im happy today..hoopy

with due respect, FILIPINO WOMEN or FILIPINA, not PHILIPINO.. thanks

[Sinergy 3]

IMO...if you think American women suck, its prolly bc you did something to piss them off enough for them to make your life he11.

Also, i dont know if anyone else has noticed, but its always the FILIPINO woman being compared to the AMERICAN woman...its getting old and retarded.

Edited January 20, 2009 by Sinergy

[Sinergy 3]

another topic of hateration,.,

dont hate just congratulate,, demn, i havent heard this line in a long time.. still the message is clear.. dont hate..

and please stop making topics that are sensitive.. issues that are better left unspoken and need not start an argument about them... seriously..

its a public forum....if you dont like the topic, then dont click on it.

[tallcoolone 102]

IMO...if you think American women suck, its prolly bc you did something to piss them off enough for them to make your life he11.

Also, i dont know if anyone else has noticed, but its always the FILIPINO woman being compared to the AMERICAN woman...

There a just a lot better choices and options rather than marrying an american woman.

Sadly, American women are thier own worst enemy.

The reason Filipina are being compared to American woman, is maybe cause this is the Philippine Regional Section.

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

I have found the promise land, and now i share it with my friends.

:blink: :blink: :blink: