American Woman Bitter and Lonely?!

[SAT 9,609]

A man found a Magic Lamp. The genie asks what he wishes for. The man asks to be irresistible to women, So the genie turned him into a box of chocolates.

"Men are like grapes. You have to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

One day a woman was granted one wish from a genie. She could have anything in the world and she asked to never have to cook or clean again. The genie sat there for a moment, smile and then POOF!!!! She made the woman a man.

Why do men want to marry virgins? Because men can't stand criticism.

I got a million of em!

Why do women have legs..........

So they don't leave a snail track on linoleum floors.

[Ban Hammer 13,348]

A man found a Magic Lamp. The genie asks what he wishes for. The man asks to be irresistible to women, So the genie turned him into a box of chocolates.

"Men are like grapes. You have to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

One day a woman was granted one wish from a genie. She could have anything in the world and she asked to never have to cook or clean again. The genie sat there for a moment, smile and then POOF!!!! She made the woman a man.

Why do men want to marry virgins? Because men can't stand criticism.

I got a million of em!

why are women's feet so small? so they can stand closer to the sink while washing dishes.

what's the difference between a washing machine and a woman? a washing machine doesn't think you have a relationship just because you dropped a load in it.

why does the bride smile when she walks down the aisle? because she knows she just gave her last bj.

why does the bride wear white? so she'll match the rest of the kitchen appliances.

what's the definition of a wife? an attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.

i got millions of them too

[Laura+Tom 2]

I can see this turning into another foreign woman bashing thread.

[Imua 0]

I am sick and tired of American women bashing by US guys and foreign ladies. I can say a lot of stuff but I am better than that so I will keep my mouth shut for the most part. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm my husband is from Philippines and I am American and I am a pretty and loving person. I aM dedicated to my husbAND. My husbands answer to why he didnt marry a Pinay when there are so many pretty ones, he is tired with the Big Beauty contest in the Philippines and girls being stuck up............. THATS ALL i HAVE TO SAY

Exactly - in Hawaii I lived and worked with pinays in their 20s for many years and my impression with MOST(not all) was that they were OBSESSED with beauty, looks etc. and thought they were 'all that' - what happens with the women who do not measure up in that society or when they get older??? Good for your man to not be into that bullcrap - it is good to take care of yourself and make yourself look as good as you can but don't base your whole life and self-worth on it - even if you are Miss Universe it will not last.

[missmissy 38]

A man found a Magic Lamp. The genie asks what he wishes for. The man asks to be irresistible to women, So the genie turned him into a box of chocolates.

"Men are like grapes. You have to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

One day a woman was granted one wish from a genie. She could have anything in the world and she asked to never have to cook or clean again. The genie sat there for a moment, smile and then POOF!!!! She made the woman a man.

Why do men want to marry virgins? Because men can't stand criticism.

I got a million of em!

why are women's feet so small? so they can stand closer to the sink while washing dishes.

what's the difference between a washing machine and a woman? a washing machine doesn't think you have a relationship just because you dropped a load in it.

why does the bride smile when she walks down the aisle? because she knows she just gave her last bj.

why does the bride wear white? so she'll match the rest of the kitchen appliances.

what's the definition of a wife? an attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.

i got millions of them too

You are are funny!! (ha ha, not like a clown)

Why were men given larger brains than dogs? So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

How many men does it take to do the dishes? I don't know but I will let you know when it happens.

What's a man's idea of cleaning the bathroom? Flushing the toilet.

I would much rather laugh at this issue than get mad about it. Let's turn this around, start posting your jokes!

[Ban Hammer 13,348]

A man found a Magic Lamp. The genie asks what he wishes for. The man asks to be irresistible to women, So the genie turned him into a box of chocolates.

"Men are like grapes. You have to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

One day a woman was granted one wish from a genie. She could have anything in the world and she asked to never have to cook or clean again. The genie sat there for a moment, smile and then POOF!!!! She made the woman a man.

Why do men want to marry virgins? Because men can't stand criticism.

I got a million of em!

why are women's feet so small? so they can stand closer to the sink while washing dishes.

what's the difference between a washing machine and a woman? a washing machine doesn't think you have a relationship just because you dropped a load in it.

why does the bride smile when she walks down the aisle? because she knows she just gave her last bj.

why does the bride wear white? so she'll match the rest of the kitchen appliances.

what's the definition of a wife? an attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.

i got millions of them too

You are are funny!! (ha ha, not like a clown)

Why were men given larger brains than dogs? So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

How many men does it take to do the dishes? I don't know but I will let you know when it happens.

What's a man's idea of cleaning the bathroom? Flushing the toilet.

I would much rather laugh at this issue than get mad about it. Let's turn this around, start posting your jokes!

wait, we have larger brains than dogs?

how many women does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they'd rather sit in the dark and b!tch about it.

What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.

Why don't women wear watches? There's a clock on the stove.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should be opened when she brings it to you.

What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Pregnant.

Why haven't any women ever gone to the moon? It doesn't need cleaning yet

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man can forget his past mistakes, there's no reason for two people to keep track of the same things.

[Mykuls Merry Ann 4]

I can see this turning into another foreign woman bashing thread.

Why does it have to be bashing? Cant we discuss things maturely, and then laugh at our differences? The one thing that iss great about the U.S. is everyone can be open and honest.

You should hear what filipino people think of black men....and there comparisons to white men. I bet they wont speak it, but openly spoken among other filipino people. But it does not bother me one bit. I laugh at it in fact. Because most of the stereotypes simply cant but any one person into one box. But that does not mean that we should not discuss them. I am guessing that someone is chomping at the bit to comment to me. But I have yet to see anyone take a stab.....lol

[missmissy 38]

A man found a Magic Lamp. The genie asks what he wishes for. The man asks to be irresistible to women, So the genie turned him into a box of chocolates.

"Men are like grapes. You have to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

One day a woman was granted one wish from a genie. She could have anything in the world and she asked to never have to cook or clean again. The genie sat there for a moment, smile and then POOF!!!! She made the woman a man.

Why do men want to marry virgins? Because men can't stand criticism.

I got a million of em!

why are women's feet so small? so they can stand closer to the sink while washing dishes.

what's the difference between a washing machine and a woman? a washing machine doesn't think you have a relationship just because you dropped a load in it.

why does the bride smile when she walks down the aisle? because she knows she just gave her last bj.

why does the bride wear white? so she'll match the rest of the kitchen appliances.

what's the definition of a wife? an attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.

i got millions of them too

You are are funny!! (ha ha, not like a clown)

Why were men given larger brains than dogs? So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

How many men does it take to do the dishes? I don't know but I will let you know when it happens.

What's a man's idea of cleaning the bathroom? Flushing the toilet.

I would much rather laugh at this issue than get mad about it. Let's turn this around, start posting your jokes!

wait, we have larger brains than dogs?

how many women does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they'd rather sit in the dark and b!tch about it.

What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.

Why don't women wear watches? There's a clock on the stove.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should be opened when she brings it to you.

What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Pregnant.

Why haven't any women ever gone to the moon? It doesn't need cleaning yet

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man can forget his past mistakes, there's no reason for two people to keep track of the same things.

God spoke to Adam:

GOD: Adam - first, the good news! I have given you a brain & a #######.

ADAM: Wow, thanks God!! Now... what's the bad news?

GOD: You have only enough blood to use one at a time.

How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious oders and half the time they don't work.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb and two to brag to about the screwing part.

What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football? The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.

[DanielParul 50]

this might not go over well but here is something i found one time and it took alot of thinking before i realized it hits home real close

Top Ten Reasons Why American Women Suck

Only somebody totally insecure about themselves can come up with a list of reasons why others suck to make themselves feel better. What about feeling better on your own merits for a change?

[Mykuls Merry Ann 4]

And American men are not deluded by the media into thinking that no matter if they are poor, balding, haven't seen their 'package' in 20 years thanks to that growing beer gut that they 'deserve' a hottie who will be their sex slave and maid?

I think the biggest problem is that people have too much expectations of each other... I have known from grade school that I wasn't much to look at so never had the expectation of being treated like a princess... honestly never expected to be supported by a man let alone given expensive jewelry etc.... I am happy just to be with a man who is willing to work hard at whatever he is doing, even if it is fast food... I am happy just to be loved...

If you marry that high-maintenance woman who has been told from day 1 that she is gorgeous and expects men to wait on her hand and foot then don;t be surprised when there are problems... likewise if a woman marries a rich 'prince' remember the saying that if you marry a rich man then expect to earn his money... Better to have more realistic expectations on both sides and be forgiving of one another.

This is very nicely said! I wholeheartedly agree!

[SMOKE 1,426]

I can see this turning into another foreign woman bashing thread.

Why does it have to be bashing? Cant we discuss things maturely, and then laugh at our differences?

you haven't been here long have you?

[Mykuls Merry Ann 4]

this might not go over well but here is something i found one time and it took alot of thinking before i realized it hits home real close

Top Ten Reasons Why American Women Suck

Only somebody totally insecure about themselves can come up with a list of reasons why others suck to make themselves feel better. What about feeling better on your own merits for a change?

Yes I agree with this partially. BUt I think if a person has preferences, then its logical that they have things they dont prefer. How often do we here on these threads from men that they think filipina women make the best wives? Why not only specify what your SO and her uniqueness provides to them? Dont we exploit filipina women when we try and say that they are something better than American women?

We are all unique individuals. I dont see filipina women any better or worst than any of the women on this planet. I do think though the hit on American women as being delusional is not fair. The biggest delusion I find from American men who marry filipina is that somehow she does not have some of the traits of American women. Might it not be that she has yet to have the opportunity to seek the same liberties of American women yet? hmmmmm....but no one wants to talk about that do they?

I found my wife and i to be very compatible in alot of ways. But i know with my experience over the past years with the Philippines that many would not be very compatible.

[Mykuls Merry Ann 4]

I can see this turning into another foreign woman bashing thread.

Why does it have to be bashing? Cant we discuss things maturely, and then laugh at our differences?

you haven't been here long have you?

Not really, but I have seen what these things can turn into.

Look, the American mating system has been destroyed. And its the fault of both american men and women for this problem. One should really ask the question to americans why they are not marrying each other.

American men and women are both seeking mates outside of their own countries in large numbers. Have you noticed the large number of american women who seek mates in Muslim countries? Something went very wrong in America. And we cant fix it anymore. Hence the reason that so many of them are looking for mates abroad.

[Ban Hammer 13,348]

A man found a Magic Lamp. The genie asks what he wishes for. The man asks to be irresistible to women, So the genie turned him into a box of chocolates.

"Men are like grapes. You have to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

One day a woman was granted one wish from a genie. She could have anything in the world and she asked to never have to cook or clean again. The genie sat there for a moment, smile and then POOF!!!! She made the woman a man.

Why do men want to marry virgins? Because men can't stand criticism.

I got a million of em!

why are women's feet so small? so they can stand closer to the sink while washing dishes.

what's the difference between a washing machine and a woman? a washing machine doesn't think you have a relationship just because you dropped a load in it.

why does the bride smile when she walks down the aisle? because she knows she just gave her last bj.

why does the bride wear white? so she'll match the rest of the kitchen appliances.

what's the definition of a wife? an attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.

i got millions of them too

You are are funny!! (ha ha, not like a clown)

Why were men given larger brains than dogs? So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

How many men does it take to do the dishes? I don't know but I will let you know when it happens.

What's a man's idea of cleaning the bathroom? Flushing the toilet.

I would much rather laugh at this issue than get mad about it. Let's turn this around, start posting your jokes!

wait, we have larger brains than dogs?

how many women does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they'd rather sit in the dark and b!tch about it.

What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.

Why don't women wear watches? There's a clock on the stove.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should be opened when she brings it to you.

What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Pregnant.

Why haven't any women ever gone to the moon? It doesn't need cleaning yet

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man can forget his past mistakes, there's no reason for two people to keep track of the same things.

God spoke to Adam:

GOD: Adam - first, the good news! I have given you a brain & a #######.

ADAM: Wow, thanks God!! Now... what's the bad news?

GOD: You have only enough blood to use one at a time.

How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious oders and half the time they don't work.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb and two to brag to about the screwing part.

What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football? The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.

made this one back when i had a dog:

10. she does not care what time i come home, just that i came home.

9. she does not need a car to drive, jewelry, or expensive clothes

8. she does not mind when i pet other dogs

7. she does not get upset when i drink a beer, or burp, or fart..

6. she does not care if i leave the toilet lid up or put the tp on the other way

5. she does not need to go shopping

4. she does not care if i buy myself something and not her

3. she does not go through pms or ask me if i think she is fat

2. she does not mind being called ######

1. she has 10 tits!

TOP 10 REASONS WHY A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN:

10. You can trade your old .44 for two new .22's.

9. You can have one handgun at home and another for the road.

8. If you admire a friend's handgun and tell him so, he will be

flattered and let you try a few rounds with it.

7. Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.

6. Your handgun will stay with you, even if you are out of ammo.

5. A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

4. Handguns function normally every day of the month.

3. A handgun won't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

2. A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you've used it.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN:

1. You can buy a SILENCER for a handgun

Edited January 19, 2009 by charles!

[Mykuls Merry Ann 4]

I am sick and tired of American women bashing by US guys and foreign ladies. I can say a lot of stuff but I am better than that so I will keep my mouth shut for the most part. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm my husband is from Philippines and I am American and I am a pretty and loving person. I aM dedicated to my husbAND. My husbands answer to why he didnt marry a Pinay when there are so many pretty ones, he is tired with the Big Beauty contest in the Philippines and girls being stuck up............. THATS ALL i HAVE TO SAY

Exactly - in Hawaii I lived and worked with pinays in their 20s for many years and my impression with MOST(not all) was that they were OBSESSED with beauty, looks etc. and thought they were 'all that' - what happens with the women who do not measure up in that society or when they get older??? Good for your man to not be into that bullcrap - it is good to take care of yourself and make yourself look as good as you can but don't base your whole life and self-worth on it - even if you are Miss Universe it will not last.

Wow, you are on to something here. But many people tend to not know much about the changes in the Philippines. Believe me, they dont see it. They think they have discovered some distant island where the people are oblivious to the modern world. But so much of American values are deeply a part of the Philippines. It has been for some decades now.