Yardies at home and Farrin (part12)

[jakeswife 0]

Lovesponge, I can only speak of myself. i was in no way judging her. She started a couple of threads and I mentioned a couple of serious things to her. We can all sit here and act like we're these "without issues" individuals but we all know we are not. Where I'm coming from is the simple fact that she had no clue Jamaican is not a language, come on lets be real. mi know mi chat nuff, but sometimes some ppl need fi get things put in their faces to bring light to what they did see.

I just felt bad cause, I feel like she might not come back or get the wrong idea of us. Maybe we should have gotten to know her and her situation a little more before we start offering opinions.

lovesponge all we do here is offer opinions.i am sure whatever she reads on here is not new to her and if it is well she will hear it one time or the other. looking at both sides of a situation helps it shouldn't break her cause god knows if she had a friend who is doing what she is doing i am sure she would be more than happy to offer up her opinion and maybe she wouldn't be this ""nice""

[Lovesponge 0]

Lovesponge...a so it go anytime you have a group of people with different opinions. just one of those things in life like in any social environment. There is a long history of failed relationships and other mishaps on the thread. Sometimes when the same "signs" are seen again a member will call it out. Some people like to sugar coat things, others tell it like it is. I don't think wat anyone says (types) or does (emoticons) is meant to hurt andyone or put anyone down. Just my 2cents

Once again...from MY posts I apologized to her and let her know we are here to help

((insert Kimmy's disclaimer here))

I understand that, but from a newbies prospective it just comes across a little strong and discouraging.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

SHE is NOT dating him, she is MARRYING him, this is no game to be played. She is not bringing him here for a vist, if she don't like him, then she can send him back.

Edited January 20, 2009 by RoxcieJoe

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Lovesponge...a so it go anytime you have a group of people with different opinions. just one of those things in life like in any social environment. There is a long history of failed relationships and other mishaps on the thread. Sometimes when the same "signs" are seen again a member will call it out. Some people like to sugar coat things, others tell it like it is. I don't think wat anyone says (types) or does (emoticons) is meant to hurt andyone or put anyone down. Just my 2cents

Once again...from MY posts I apologized to her and let her know we are here to help

((insert Kimmy's disclaimer here))

I understand that, but from a newbies prospective it just comes across a little strong and discouraging.

ok watch mi an yuh... mi ago start charge fi its use

Lovesponge...a so it go anytime you have a group of people with different opinions. just one of those things in life like in any social environment. There is a long history of failed relationships and other mishaps on the thread. Sometimes when the same "signs" are seen again a member will call it out. Some people like to sugar coat things, others tell it like it is. I don't think wat anyone says (types) or does (emoticons) is meant to hurt andyone or put anyone down. Just my 2cents

Once again...from MY posts I apologized to her and let her know we are here to help

((insert Kimmy's disclaimer here))

I understand that, but from a newbies prospective it just comes across a little strong and discouraging.

mi understand..but when u have heard soooooooooooo many sob stories it's hard not to be agressive

[Marlita 0]

Lovesponge, I can only speak of myself. i was in no way judging her. She started a couple of threads and I mentioned a couple of serious things to her. We can all sit here and act like we're these "without issues" individuals but we all know we are not. Where I'm coming from is the simple fact that she had no clue Jamaican is not a language, come on lets be real. mi know mi chat nuff, but sometimes some ppl need fi get things put in their faces to bring light to what they did see.

I just felt bad cause, I feel like she might not come back or get the wrong idea of us. Maybe we should have gotten to know her and her situation a little more before we start offering opinions.

ok, now I feel really bad too. I didnt know all the history here. I just saw the post she made here, and then the thread on the mail and I just thought it was a troll or something.

I hope she does come back, cause it seems that the thread could help her learn alot about JA, or at least alot about the process of visas and JA relationships.

mi offer lessons aready ..oonuh tap feel bad man..a reality ..seriously..oonuh claim wi a family..wouldn't ur family laugh at if uy no know wah u soon to be husband speak

ahaa, yes!! Mi nah cuss, but mi a cuss mi 2 lil sista dem all the time when dem chat pure foolishness!!

[classychic77 0]

Lovesponge...a so it go anytime you have a group of people with different opinions. just one of those things in life like in any social environment. There is a long history of failed relationships and other mishaps on the thread. Sometimes when the same "signs" are seen again a member will call it out. Some people like to sugar coat things, others tell it like it is. I don't think wat anyone says (types) or does (emoticons) is meant to hurt andyone or put anyone down. Just my 2cents

Once again...from MY posts I apologized to her and let her know we are here to help

((insert Kimmy's disclaimer here))

Which is why I love this thread! It opened my eyes with a quickness. I was engaged for less than 2 months thanks to a few great people that told me what I didn't want to hear.

[Marie876 0]

Lovesponge, I am going to put my neck out on this one, this individual is talking about marrying someone, she is not talking about just dating. From all of her posts she seems to be a little naive, about her SO and his culture. zzzzzif you'll had read her post correctly, it wasn't I or anyone else laughing at her, she was also laughing at ger self.

Now you tell me if your daughter came to you and said mommy, I am marrying someone from 3000 miles away, but I don't even know anything about his culture. As a parent tell me the honest to GOD truth what would you be saying to your daughter. Those who are in denial of her situation, are the ones who are hurting her the most. We all want to sugar coat everything as if it's all good, but when she comes back on VJ and declared that he used her for a GC, after he has gotten here and left her, then we want to offer her advise about should have, would have could have.

Well, I'm going stick my neck out and be dam.... BeautifulBaby, please take your time in filing for your SO, there is so much you needs to know before hand, and it seems like you don't undefrstand much about him or his culture. His culture will play a big part in your relationship. Yeah, the sex may have been good, but marriage is a Hell lot more than sex

Roxcie

BB.....IMO you should visit him again and get to know him a little more

Edited January 20, 2009 by Marie87

[Lovesponge 0]

SHE is NOT dating him, she is MARRYING him, this is no game to be played. She is not bringing him here for a vist, if she don't like him, then she can send him back.

And thats her choice, she is a grown A$$ woman if she want to go to Jamaica like Stella and get her grove back then thats her business. Who are we to judge her? I dont have a problem with telling people what the warning signs are for being used or giving them advise. I am just saying she just joined give the woman a chance.

[jakeswife 0]

ok let me say this .

THIS SITE IS NOT FOR THE WEAK HEARTED AND WILL NOT BE A YES MAN FOR ANY SITUATION THAT SEEM TO BE BASED ON ACTIONS THAT CAN BE DANGEROUS TO ONES HEALTH.IF YOU COME HERE BE ASSURED THAT YOU HAVE LET US INTO YOUR SITUATION AND KNOW THAT WE WILL RESPOND ACCORDINGLY.

this can be vjs disclaimer. besides man we should file after we make the decision for our love one to be with us not just to be together

[Marlita 0]

Ok so, I gotta hot topic:

Are these guys complete sociopaths or what? I mean, how can they play this whole perfect man attitude, love you up, sex you down, and have no real feelings for you. To me its like a hooker on the street corner with her John.

I keep seeing these posts of folks whos marriage has gone bad within a year or less of him being here, and then he either leaves or they get divorced or whatever. But the way the guy is described is like he did a complete 180 on his attitude toward the woman. Yet.....before the marriage, or before he got here, when she was visiting him, he was so romantic, and treated her great, and loved her up and sexed her down. So was he hookin' and she was the John?

I mean, you gotta be a real deranged lunatic to use somebody like that. So I wonder if these guys are sociopaths.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

SHE is NOT dating him, she is MARRYING him, this is no game to be played. She is not bringing him here for a vist, if she don't like him, then she can send him back.

And thats her choice, she is a grown A$$ woman if she want to go to Jamaica like Stella and get her grove back then thats her business. Who are we to judge her? I dont have a problem with telling people what the warning signs are for being used or giving them advise. I am just saying she just joined give the woman a chance.

Lovesponge, she is getting more than her grove on, she is talking about marriage. I wouldn't care if she groved until the end of time, but this visa has two components that we all needs to think about.

This who are filing for K1, must marry within 90 days, so if you file today and it can be approved within 30 days , you must marry this person.

Two, you will be signing an agreement, that YOU will be finanically responsibile for that person for 10 years, unless they becomes an US citizen. A divorce does not asolve you of this. If he really wants to push it, he can make it enforceable.

[jakeswife 0]

Ok so, I gotta hot topic:

Are these guys complete sociopaths or what? I mean, how can they play this whole perfect man attitude, love you up, sex you down, and have no real feelings for you. To me its like a hooker on the street corner with her John.

I keep seeing these posts of folks whos marriage has gone bad within a year or less of him being here, and then he either leaves or they get divorced or whatever. But the way the guy is described is like he did a complete 180 on his attitude toward the woman. Yet.....before the marriage, or before he got here, when she was visiting him, he was so romantic, and treated her great, and loved her up and sexed her down. So was he hookin' and she was the John?

I mean, you gotta be a real deranged lunatic to use somebody like that. So I wonder if these guys are sociopaths.

you would be surprise to know that women are culprits of the same situation. not all are socipaths but u feel they do it as a means to an end . it could be as simple as that. if you pretend to get a desired result once you get it then you will do whatever to come out of the situation hoping to keep what you got.despite the lies to get you there

Edited January 20, 2009 by jakeswife

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Ok so, I gotta hot topic:

Are these guys complete sociopaths or what? I mean, how can they play this whole perfect man attitude, love you up, sex you down, and have no real feelings for you. To me its like a hooker on the street corner with her John.

I keep seeing these posts of folks whos marriage has gone bad within a year or less of him being here, and then he either leaves or they get divorced or whatever. But the way the guy is described is like he did a complete 180 on his attitude toward the woman. Yet.....before the marriage, or before he got here, when she was visiting him, he was so romantic, and treated her great, and loved her up and sexed her down. So was he hookin' and she was the John?

I mean, you gotta be a real deranged lunatic to use somebody like that. So I wonder if these guys are sociopaths.

nope, it's survival of the fittest ! may the best man win ! the man didn't change over nite...signs were over looked b/c most were madly inlove...

Edited January 20, 2009 by Hotlegz

[Marlita 0]

I know there are women who do this too, but I was just talking men specifically to our issues here on the Yardie thread. I just dont get it. When they get here , they are sorely suprised that its not all its craked up to be. U would think word has gotten back to Yaad about how farrin nuh go so.

[jakeswife 0]

I know there are women who do this too, but I was just talking men specifically to our issues here on the Yardie thread. I just dont get it. When they get here , they are sorely suprised that its not all its craked up to be. U would think word has gotten back to Yaad about how farrin nuh go so.

no matter how mad a situation is for someone else you never think it will happen to you