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Yardies at home and Farrin (part12)

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wakeywakeup Rising Star

wakeywakeup   1

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thank u Sonny..ur a very brave soul..Wakey scroll up or down..ur welcome anytime..

teehee.. I see it now.

Intimacy, like charity, begins at home. If we cannot be intimate with ourselves, we have no way to bring to intimacy with another person.

Intimacy with ourselves takes time. We need time for rest, time for walks, time for quiet, and time to tune into to ourselves. We cannot completely fill up our lives with activities and become intimate with ourselves. Nor can we just sit quietly indefinitely and become intimate with ourselves. We have to have the time and energy to be our lives and to do our live in order to establish and intimate relationship with ourselves.

Surprisingly, as we become intimate with ourselves, we discover our connection with others

Intimacy....In/to/me/see...

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Sonshyne Proficient

Sonshyne   2

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Jamaica
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I only pray we can work it out for us but believe me my head is not in the sand..

I prayed on it then, and I still pray on it now...

thank u Sonny..ur a very brave soul..Wakey scroll up or down..ur welcome anytime..

You called me out... :blush:

That topic had my name all over it. Just couldn't bring myself to respond although it needed to be done :thumbs:

Thanks for sharing Sonshyne. I'm so sorry that happened. Unfortunately, it happens all the time.

No problem Shem..

Thanks to you too.

USCIS

06-28-2011-Mailed I-130

07-03-2011-NOA1

12-08-2011-NOA2

NVC

12-19-2012-NVC Received Case

01-06-2012-Case Number

01-25-2012-Case Completed

02-21-2012-Medical

03-06-2012-Interview--APPROVED

03-13-2012-VISA RECEIVED

03-16-2012-POE ATL

ROC

02/24/2014-Mailed I-751

02/26/2014-Package Received

02/28/2014-NOA1 Hard Copy

02/28/2014-Check Cashed

03/25/2014-Biometrics Appt

06/04/2014-RFE Sent more info back on 07/29/2014

09/04/2014 ROC Approved

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shrewdgal Proficient

shrewdgal   0

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Jamaica
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Posted
I only pray we can work it out for us but believe me my head is not in the sand..

I prayed on it then, and I still pray on it now...

:thumbs:

and Im still praying for you!

Is there anything you think you could have done to make him see more clearly? any tips for us?

M is pretty much a homebody, but who knows what can happen.

I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!

10-29-07 Overnighted I-130 to VSC

10-30-07 I-1-30 Received

1-17-08 NOA-1

8-6-08 MOVED TO CSC

8-20-08 Approved!

8-25-08 Received at NVC

8-28-08 DS-3032 emailed

9-5-08 Paid AOS bill online

10-8-08 Paid IV bill online

10-17-08 RFE, DS230

10-28-08 CASE COMPLETE!

2-19-09 INTERVIEW 8:30am, APPROVED

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JAPrincess Experienced

JAPrincess   27

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Filed: Country: Jamaica
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So here is another topic to consider.....

Hanging with the fellas...How often do you think a man should hang with his friends after he has left JA?

Wakey/Jgay..if it's a"problem" now maybe it will always be a problem..do not put things on the back burner and find excuses to justify a behavior. U have to teach ur husbands what is acceptable and what is not..u have to be realistic..some behaviors don't go away when they find jobs they sometimes can get worse..they can find other things to occupy their time...

I wish 1 person on here would share her story...

Kimmy and Lawny I hear you... :(:crying:

Ok Ladies... I read this yeaturday and to be truthful, my heart just sank.. I wanted to respond to this post so bad but really didn't have the heart to. I didn't want to bring any doubts or worries to ANYONE here. I decided that maybe I will share my story.. I'll keep it short as possible :blush:

Wakey the tooic you chose last night is one that I know all too well... Lived it everyday for about the last year or so. My husband was one to hang with his friends more than hie did with his wife... As he met friends that where here from JA also he began to hang out, with was ok because we all need some "me time". I was happy for him because I knew it helped him to adjust being that he had someone from home to relate to.

As time went on his hanging out became a problem to our marriage to where there would be arguements which usually ended up with me being vexed to the max, and most time... him still gone anyway... He thought it was ok to hang out with them until 3-330 in the morning on friday and sat pretty much every weekend. Ok to hang out with them pretty much everyday after work. Even on quite a few big Holidays..

He would always say yuh fuss suh much!! Mi nuh do nuting wrong mi come home tuh mi yaad to yuh everynight... So I figured I would try and easy up myself give him a little more room and try not to say much... You know "COMPARMISE". But he never tried to make things any better. He felt he wasn't wrong. My husband was a good provider for me, he gave me any and everything I wanted and then some, all except one thing.. His time. He gave about 80% of his free time to his friends.. The other 20% or less went to me. He felt that he gave me money all the time along with other things and that I shouldn't have a reason to complain.. He didn't understand that I MARRIED him for him and not his money.

Well the end result to this is... I came home from work last month to find him and all his things gone. He moved out.

OMG!

:(:cry::(

what did he say???

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Shemmy Experienced

Shemmy   4

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Jamaica
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I only pray we can work it out for us but believe me my head is not in the sand..

I prayed on it then, and I still pray on it now...

thank u Sonny..ur a very brave soul..Wakey scroll up or down..ur welcome anytime..

You called me out... :blush:

That topic had my name all over it. Just couldn't bring myself to respond although it needed to be done :thumbs:

Thanks for sharing Sonshyne. I'm so sorry that happened. Unfortunately, it happens all the time.

No problem Shem..

Thanks to you too.

Stay strong and remember we are here for you (L) His day will come...trust and believe.

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Sonshyne Proficient

Sonshyne   2

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Jamaica
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Posted
I only pray we can work it out for us but believe me my head is not in the sand..

I prayed on it then, and I still pray on it now...

:thumbs:

and Im still praying for you!

Is there anything you think you could have done to make him see more clearly? any tips for us?

M is pretty much a homebody, but who knows what can happen.

No I don't I compromised and sucked it up trying to make him see things more clear. I figured if I stop the fuss he would back away from streets a little. No such luck..

The best thing I can do for myself right now is let him do him.. I and I'll do me. Maybe he'll see it more clear now that he's without a wife maye he won't.

USCIS

06-28-2011-Mailed I-130

07-03-2011-NOA1

12-08-2011-NOA2

NVC

12-19-2012-NVC Received Case

01-06-2012-Case Number

01-25-2012-Case Completed

02-21-2012-Medical

03-06-2012-Interview--APPROVED

03-13-2012-VISA RECEIVED

03-16-2012-POE ATL

ROC

02/24/2014-Mailed I-751

02/26/2014-Package Received

02/28/2014-NOA1 Hard Copy

02/28/2014-Check Cashed

03/25/2014-Biometrics Appt

06/04/2014-RFE Sent more info back on 07/29/2014

09/04/2014 ROC Approved

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wakeywakeup Rising Star

wakeywakeup   1

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted
I only pray we can work it out for us but believe me my head is not in the sand..

I prayed on it then, and I still pray on it now...

Did you have a sense of what you wanted to do prior to him leaving? Were you thinking of counseling, divorce, etc. I hate to be nosey but has he called? I'm so hurt for you.. I pray you stay near the word and seek the Lord during this difficult time.

Intimacy, like charity, begins at home. If we cannot be intimate with ourselves, we have no way to bring to intimacy with another person.

Intimacy with ourselves takes time. We need time for rest, time for walks, time for quiet, and time to tune into to ourselves. We cannot completely fill up our lives with activities and become intimate with ourselves. Nor can we just sit quietly indefinitely and become intimate with ourselves. We have to have the time and energy to be our lives and to do our live in order to establish and intimate relationship with ourselves.

Surprisingly, as we become intimate with ourselves, we discover our connection with others

Intimacy....In/to/me/see...

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Sonshyne Proficient

Sonshyne   2

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted
OMG!

:(:cry::(

what did he say???

Nothing girl he left outta here like a thief in the night!!

I came home to nothing..

Not a letter

Not a phone call

Not a text...... NOTHING!!!

Stay strong and remember we are here for you (L) His day will come...trust and believe.

:yes: he will..

USCIS

06-28-2011-Mailed I-130

07-03-2011-NOA1

12-08-2011-NOA2

NVC

12-19-2012-NVC Received Case

01-06-2012-Case Number

01-25-2012-Case Completed

02-21-2012-Medical

03-06-2012-Interview--APPROVED

03-13-2012-VISA RECEIVED

03-16-2012-POE ATL

ROC

02/24/2014-Mailed I-751

02/26/2014-Package Received

02/28/2014-NOA1 Hard Copy

02/28/2014-Check Cashed

03/25/2014-Biometrics Appt

06/04/2014-RFE Sent more info back on 07/29/2014

09/04/2014 ROC Approved

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wakeywakeup Rising Star

wakeywakeup   1

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted
OMG!

:(:cry::(

what did he say???

Nothing girl he left outta here like a thief in the night!!

I came home to nothing..

Not a letter

Not a phone call

Not a text...... NOTHING!!!

Stay strong and remember we are here for you (L) His day will come...trust and believe.

:yes: he will..

What a horrible way to treat you!!! He is going to look back and regret this for many years to come.

Intimacy, like charity, begins at home. If we cannot be intimate with ourselves, we have no way to bring to intimacy with another person.

Intimacy with ourselves takes time. We need time for rest, time for walks, time for quiet, and time to tune into to ourselves. We cannot completely fill up our lives with activities and become intimate with ourselves. Nor can we just sit quietly indefinitely and become intimate with ourselves. We have to have the time and energy to be our lives and to do our live in order to establish and intimate relationship with ourselves.

Surprisingly, as we become intimate with ourselves, we discover our connection with others

Intimacy....In/to/me/see...

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Sonshyne Proficient

Sonshyne   2

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted (edited)
Did you have a sense of what you wanted to do prior to him leaving? Were you thinking of counseling, divorce, etc. I hate to be nosey but has he called? I'm so hurt for you.. I pray you stay near the word and seek the Lord during this difficult time.

Ask away Wakey and the same goes for the rest of you..

I was thinking both couseling and divorce crossed my mine too.. I knew I didn't really want to divorce.

These things were all thought about before he left. The thing is, I had no clue that he was gonna up and leave :blink:

He never said anything about leaving...

We have had some contact via text or phone..

Edited by Sonshyne

USCIS

06-28-2011-Mailed I-130

07-03-2011-NOA1

12-08-2011-NOA2

NVC

12-19-2012-NVC Received Case

01-06-2012-Case Number

01-25-2012-Case Completed

02-21-2012-Medical

03-06-2012-Interview--APPROVED

03-13-2012-VISA RECEIVED

03-16-2012-POE ATL

ROC

02/24/2014-Mailed I-751

02/26/2014-Package Received

02/28/2014-NOA1 Hard Copy

02/28/2014-Check Cashed

03/25/2014-Biometrics Appt

06/04/2014-RFE Sent more info back on 07/29/2014

09/04/2014 ROC Approved

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Sonshyne Proficient

Sonshyne   2

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted
What a horrible way to treat you!!! He is going to look back and regret this for many years to come.

You know Wakey I kind of belive that too :whistle:

USCIS

06-28-2011-Mailed I-130

07-03-2011-NOA1

12-08-2011-NOA2

NVC

12-19-2012-NVC Received Case

01-06-2012-Case Number

01-25-2012-Case Completed

02-21-2012-Medical

03-06-2012-Interview--APPROVED

03-13-2012-VISA RECEIVED

03-16-2012-POE ATL

ROC

02/24/2014-Mailed I-751

02/26/2014-Package Received

02/28/2014-NOA1 Hard Copy

02/28/2014-Check Cashed

03/25/2014-Biometrics Appt

06/04/2014-RFE Sent more info back on 07/29/2014

09/04/2014 ROC Approved

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wakeywakeup Rising Star

wakeywakeup   1

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted
Did you have a sense of what you wanted to do prior to him leaving? Were you thinking of counseling, divorce, etc. I hate to be nosey but has he called? I'm so hurt for you.. I pray you stay near the word and seek the Lord during this difficult time.

Ask away Wakey and the same goes for the rest of you..

I was thinking both couseling and divorce crossed my mine too.. I knew I didn't really want to divorce.

These things were all thought about before he left. The thing is, I had no clue that he was gonna up and leave :blink:

He never said anything about leaving...

We have had some contact via text or phone..

Has he applogized for how he handled things?

Intimacy, like charity, begins at home. If we cannot be intimate with ourselves, we have no way to bring to intimacy with another person.

Intimacy with ourselves takes time. We need time for rest, time for walks, time for quiet, and time to tune into to ourselves. We cannot completely fill up our lives with activities and become intimate with ourselves. Nor can we just sit quietly indefinitely and become intimate with ourselves. We have to have the time and energy to be our lives and to do our live in order to establish and intimate relationship with ourselves.

Surprisingly, as we become intimate with ourselves, we discover our connection with others

Intimacy....In/to/me/see...

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Sonshyne Proficient

Sonshyne   2

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted
I pray you stay near the word and seek the Lord during this difficult time.

:innocent: This is what has held me up..

FOR SHAME! :angry::(

Exactly!!

USCIS

06-28-2011-Mailed I-130

07-03-2011-NOA1

12-08-2011-NOA2

NVC

12-19-2012-NVC Received Case

01-06-2012-Case Number

01-25-2012-Case Completed

02-21-2012-Medical

03-06-2012-Interview--APPROVED

03-13-2012-VISA RECEIVED

03-16-2012-POE ATL

ROC

02/24/2014-Mailed I-751

02/26/2014-Package Received

02/28/2014-NOA1 Hard Copy

02/28/2014-Check Cashed

03/25/2014-Biometrics Appt

06/04/2014-RFE Sent more info back on 07/29/2014

09/04/2014 ROC Approved

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JAPrincess Experienced

JAPrincess   27

Posted
Filed: Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted
Did you have a sense of what you wanted to do prior to him leaving? Were you thinking of counseling, divorce, etc. I hate to be nosey but has he called? I'm so hurt for you.. I pray you stay near the word and seek the Lord during this difficult time.

Ask away Wakey and the same goes for the rest of you..

I was thinking both couseling and divorce crossed my mine too.. I knew I didn't really want to divorce.

These things were all thought about before he left. The thing is, I had no clue that he was gonna up and leave :blink:

He never said anything about leaving...

Girl I can't even imagine :(

I am so high on my cloud of love... I ain't even filed one paper, and your story brings tears to my eyes...

That is so low... after everything you did to get him here...

The least you deserve is a "good bye" :(

my heart breaks for you. truly.

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