Yardies at home and Farrin (part12)

[Ryon4life 0]

WHOO SAH Ells, i feel your pain, really i do. I have been there as well with my own supervisor, she wants to see my daily to do list and what i managed to complete each day

And never mind that my manager can't even make his own list of what he does each day! Yesterday, he spent most of the day in his office on his PERSONAL laptop while his work computer was behind him. What exactly was he doing on his personal computer all day???

hooking up on eharmony .com

and watching porn!

[Ellsinlove 2]

girl, i think that they are putting stuff in our water

but seriously, it seems like no one is resting, all the talk about economy and politics, maybe we are worried???

I think anxiety could be a very real reason for all this sleeplessness. All our economic woes are just increasing by the day. The future is uncertain, times are hard! Even popping a melatonin isn't helping me lately. Doctors are going to be writing a lot of prescriptions for heavy duty sleep aids I'm betting!

[jakeswife 0]

tell him to give u a list of all his duties

I'd like to but he's above all that! He doesn't have to justify his job to anyone....he's too good to make lists & can't be bothered with that kind of thing. He is the DEVIL!

well give him holy water for valentine's day

[Ryon4life 0]

tell him to give u a list of all his duties

I'd like to but he's above all that! He doesn't have to justify his job to anyone....he's too good to make lists & can't be bothered with that kind of thing. He is the DEVIL!

we should kill him

i am sorry - i did not want to say that.

i am 30 days sober and i really need candy and sometimes i get a little too excited.

work thru what you can before vacation - we all need our jobs these days

[jakeswife 0]

tell him to give u a list of all his duties

I'd like to but he's above all that! He doesn't have to justify his job to anyone....he's too good to make lists & can't be bothered with that kind of thing. He is the DEVIL!

we should kill him

i am sorry - i did not want to say that.

i am 30 days sober and i really need candy and sometimes i get a little too excited.

work thru what you can before vacation - we all need our jobs these days

so ryon you a show all a we we weakness. move away from the alcohol if u nuh want a drink. move a way from the sweets if u nuh want it fi eat. so for me. please remove di picture of my weakness

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

My wife was hinting about what s he wan ted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... So, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my Driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone

At a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she

Hasn't been sober since.'

'My goodness!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

---------------------------------

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,

'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.

I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

------------------------------------

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started....

--------------------------------------------

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday

And then the fight started.....

---------------------------------------------

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy #######. That must be my husband!'

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush

And to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And then the fight start Ed.....

----------------------------------------------------

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all

Day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started ...

----------------------------------------------------

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

------------------------ ------ ----------------------

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....

[Ellsinlove 2]

tell him to give u a list of all his duties

I'd like to but he's above all that! He doesn't have to justify his job to anyone....he's too good to make lists & can't be bothered with that kind of thing. He is the DEVIL!

well give him holy water for valentine's day

Can't! I'll be in JA on valentine's day!

tell him to give u a list of all his duties

I'd like to but he's above all that! He doesn't have to justify his job to anyone....he's too good to make lists & can't be bothered with that kind of thing. He is the DEVIL!

we should kill him

i am sorry - i did not want to say that.

i am 30 days sober and i really need candy and sometimes i get a little too excited.

work thru what you can before vacation - we all need our jobs these days

LOL! I was thinking you meant I should offer him enough candy that he gets diabetes and dies!

Congrats on staying 'clean'! You're a trooper!

so ryon you a show all a we we weakness. move away from the alcohol if u nuh want a drink. move a way from the sweets if u nuh want it fi eat. so for me. please remove di picture of my weakness

Don't look Jake's....DON'T LOOK! Step away from the picture!

--------------------------------

OMG those jokes are hilarious Lawny! I have to copy & send those to some people!

Edited January 30, 2009 by Ellsinlove

[PortlandAngel 0]

I think I need some vitamins, I take a nap almost everyday but yet by 10pm I am exhausted if I dont nap then I'll fighting so stay awake by the time it touch 8pm. We are suppose to go to the museum and I am already feeling tired...

me too. i am so tired lately. I drink my propel but my eyes are burning sleeply right!

ME THREE! And on top of that I keep waking up at 5:00 a.m. and unable to go back to sleep until my alarm goes off at 6:30. At 6:30 is when I finally want to drift back to sleep.

girl, i think that they are putting stuff in our water

but seriously, it seems like no one is resting, all the talk about economy and politics, maybe we are worried???

That's what I am thinking, and I have all kinda strange dreams.... the other night I dream that tupac had a daughter and she was born on xmas day and he was singing silent night to her..... how weird is that, why am i dreaming about tupac?

[Ellsinlove 2]

2 Brazilian men die in skydiving accident . . .

A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says , "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."

The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, "That's horrible!!! . . . So many men dying that way!"

Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."

After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many exactly is a Brazilian?

[jakeswife 0]

portland how is your job hunt going.? i am still applying to a couple of places just hoping to get an interview

[Islandwoman 0]

i am sorry - i did not want to say that.

i am 30 days sober and i really need candy and sometimes i get a little too excited.

work thru what you can before vacation - we all need our jobs these days

GOOD for you Ryon!! I ate 1/2 lb of peanut butter fudge yesterday....

portland how is your job hunt going.? i am still applying to a couple of places just hoping to get an interview

JW - how is it out there re: jobs?

[PortlandAngel 0]

portland how is your job hunt going.? i am still applying to a couple of places just hoping to get an interview

Its going, kinda of slow got a couple calls for some weird jobs that I wasn't interested, I don't really want to rush into any job cause if I don't like I can quit but then I won't get unemployment.... so while I can collect I am taking my time. I am just worried about not having health insurance, could sign up for cobra but don't want to spend the extra money.

headed to the museum lata....

[jakeswife 0]

IW i am not sure how bad it is here but i still see jobs on monster.com , careerbuilders,snagajob. i applied for the ones i think i could do so i am waiting for an interview. i really would like the one with the non profit agency but maybe it won't pay much

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

IW i am not sure how bad it is here but i still see jobs on monster.com , careerbuilders,snagajob. i applied for the ones i think i could do so i am waiting for an interview. i really would like the one with the non profit agency but maybe it won't pay much

JW and K;

don't forget temp agencies, a lot of employers are hiring for short-term contracts or part-time so they don't have to pay benefits.

[jawi876 2]

Oh portland....I cut Andre's hair one time. Thank God he hated it, shaved it all off, and said never again!

Thats why you are cool in my book. Only takes one time.

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

My wife was hinting about what s he wan ted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... So, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my Driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone

At a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she

Hasn't been sober since.'

'My goodness!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

---------------------------------

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,

'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.

I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

------------------------------------

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started....

--------------------------------------------

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday

And then the fight started.....

---------------------------------------------

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy #######. That must be my husband!'

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush

And to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And then the fight start Ed.....

----------------------------------------------------

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all

Day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started ...

----------------------------------------------------

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

------------------------ ------ ----------------------

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....

FUNNY as HECK!!!! :rofl: