JUST CURIOUS

[ginger1981 0]

All I hear is whining Rockhouse...talking about how horrible and empty American women are. Sheesh...I'd love to hear the other side of the story from the ex's as I'm sure you weren't such an angel yourself. Whatever happened to personal responsibility...or is that only convenient when it comes to not placing any blame on yourself?

A note to why this is a topic for those who aren't Filipino...it's a public forum. I'm sure if there was a conversation in another regional thread about how awful Filipina women are you would go in and defend yourselves all the same.

Lol, yeah, i guess i need to take a look at myself and be honest, like how i have custody of both my kids now because my ex went to jail for beating up her new husband forcing my kids and him to lock themselves in their bedroom as she beat holes through the door while she screamed that she was gonna stab him in the heart. You dont know ###### about me. The TS asked why we prefer Filipinas. I prefer them because AS A WHOLE, ALL the American women i have dated, as well as those friends have dated/married don't hold a candle to the Filipinas. Sorry if it pisses you off, it's not whining, it's observations and experiences that i am typing on a forum....deal with it.

BTW, if your not an American woman then why get so bent outta shape?

I am an American woman...my husband is the non-USC. But I don't make sweeping generalizations about American men because I ended up with a Brit.

Sorry you had a bad time with dating/marrying before, but I don't think every woman in the US is hardly like your one ex wife. Chalk it up to bad luck, but women aren't all like those in the Texas Hill Country. Then again women who seek to be independent aren't your flavor...good luck finding that in most places in the world.

[ginger1981 0]

What I don't understand is this incessant need to label any one group as "better." My ex-husband was a right ####### to me and our kids and he is American. Do I think all American men are scum? Nope. Shall I assume that all German men are superior to American men because my husband is kind, witty, incredibly intelligent, loving, the perfect match, etc (and clearly has good taste in women)....

I have many Philipina friends who are lovely women. I also know a couple who are total b!!tches. In addition I have some German friends who are amazing, an Italian friend who knows the meaning of loyalty, a Dutch friend ..... etc. Women and men who are kind and loyal and great lovers and friends come from all countries and all socio-economic classes. To classify in one lump all American women as fat, cheating, lying, uneducated gold-diggers tends to make those making the accusations look like right bastards as well.

Seriously, what the heck is wrong with everyone here with the exception of the two or three people posting similar sentiments as mine? Of course you love your wife/husband and think they are the best. It would be pretty sad if you didn't. However, that doesn't mean that American/French/Dutch/German/Indian/Insert Nationality of Choice Here women or men are awful.

And for the record, when you are pointing out how stupid someone is and in your post you have completely misspelled words and used improper grammar and YOU SPEAK ENGLISH AS A NATIVE LANGUAGE, your argument kind of falls flat.

Just saying.

I'm with you. Yes of course it bothers me that there are brushstrokes painted so broadly in here Home Depot has to make them special order. Throw in the anti feminist/atheist/pro-choice/homosexuality to boot and you have a very controversial post where reason is as non-existent as fairies.

I agree nothing wrong with saying your spouse is the best, but throwing American women (say, like some of the commenter's mothers/sisters/daughters) under the bus and the subtext of the possible exploitation of another group of women because they seem more "docile" and "easy to control" is really extremely disturbing.

[jundp 191]

I agree nothing wrong with saying your spouse is the best, but throwing American women (say, like some of the commenter's mothers/sisters/daughters) under the bus and the subtext of the possible exploitation of another group of women because they seem more "docile" and "easy to control" is really extremely disturbing.

And this here is the bottom line. But see, if we say it, we are just being "jealous American women."

[JSVP08 3]

[jom 4]

Enough already.

[Ban Hammer 13,443]

I have no interest in other regional topics either. I find it curious why people with really no ties to Philippines feel the need to post here.

Us in this forum know the Philippine culture, and I think outsiders really don't add much this forum.

I guess they are bored to come over to Philippine Section and start to look around and post....

entertainment. mena has been slow lately.

Where have you been Charles?? We missed you here!

busy doing stuff around the house this past weekend. bleh.

[Mykuls Merry Ann 4]

Few American men go looking for "mail order brides".

I think it's more than a few, however, I don't think that there is anything necessarily wrong if a USC is looking for a foreign spouse (and on VJ we have plenty of both as well as stereotypes) as long as it's not because he or she thinks an American spouse is sub par. People are people and while culture has an influence on behavior, marrying a foreigner is no guarantee that they will behave in accordance with their culture once they've adjusted to life here in the states. So a foreign bride can easily become your next alimony payment, then the theory that foreign spouses are better flies right out the window.

Excellent Point!

[missmissy 38]

Just to clarify my "tongue in cheek" post yesterday - I wanted to be a stay-at-home mother and fix my husband breakfast every morning and take care of his entire family and mine and our children but - he didn't work very much and bills needed to be paid. That is why I worked and couldn't be the kind of mother that I had growing up. My family still came first, always, but I had to work to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. My ex-husband is just a good old boy from the deep south and to be fair to him, he never really learned how to take care of a family, his parents had divorced when he was young.

I'm lucky, I am smart and know how to work hard and we survived. As for looking outside of the U.S. for a partner - that's not how it happened. I had become totally at peace with being single, was very happy with my little life here in Mississippi and then all of a sudden, love came knocking at my door. Why would I want to fall in love with someone that lives on the other side of the earth, on purpose?? A long-distance relationship is one of the hardest things I have ever done, totally worth it, but really, really hard. And, I didn't "choose" him because of where he was from, LOVE CHOSE US. It just happened.

And, I'm not really looking for someone for my ex-husband, I love ya'll too much for that! Thanks for making the weekend go by faster, this was fun and entertaining!

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

Just to clarify my "tongue in cheek" post yesterday - I wanted to be a stay-at-home mother and fix my husband breakfast every morning and take care of his entire family and mine and our children but - he didn't work very much and bills needed to be paid. That is why I worked and couldn't be the kind of mother that I had growing up. My family still came first, always, but I had to work to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. My ex-husband is just a good old boy from the deep south and to be fair to him, he never really learned how to take care of a family, his parents had divorced when he was young.

I'm lucky, I am smart and know how to work hard and we survived. As for looking outside of the U.S. for a partner - that's not how it happened. I had become totally at peace with being single, was very happy with my little life here in Mississippi and then all of a sudden, love came knocking at my door. Why would I want to fall in love with someone that lives on the other side of the earth, on purpose?? A long-distance relationship is one of the hardest things I have ever done, totally worth it, but really, really hard. And, I didn't "choose" him because of where he was from, LOVE CHOSE US. It just happened.

And, I'm not really looking for someone for my ex-husband, I love ya'll too much for that! Thanks for making the weekend go by faster, this was fun and entertaining!

That is too bad. My wife already has a girlfriend for him!

[missmissy 38]

Just to clarify my "tongue in cheek" post yesterday - I wanted to be a stay-at-home mother and fix my husband breakfast every morning and take care of his entire family and mine and our children but - he didn't work very much and bills needed to be paid. That is why I worked and couldn't be the kind of mother that I had growing up. My family still came first, always, but I had to work to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. My ex-husband is just a good old boy from the deep south and to be fair to him, he never really learned how to take care of a family, his parents had divorced when he was young.

I'm lucky, I am smart and know how to work hard and we survived. As for looking outside of the U.S. for a partner - that's not how it happened. I had become totally at peace with being single, was very happy with my little life here in Mississippi and then all of a sudden, love came knocking at my door. Why would I want to fall in love with someone that lives on the other side of the earth, on purpose?? A long-distance relationship is one of the hardest things I have ever done, totally worth it, but really, really hard. And, I didn't "choose" him because of where he was from, LOVE CHOSE US. It just happened.

And, I'm not really looking for someone for my ex-husband, I love ya'll too much for that! Thanks for making the weekend go by faster, this was fun and entertaining!

That is too bad. My wife already has a girlfriend for him!

You must not like her very much!

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

That is too bad. My wife already has a girlfriend for him!

You must not like her very much!

There is an axiom that sums things up,

"A man sees a woman for what she is, a woman sees a man for what he could be."

Perhaps that is why a man's eye is quick to wander, and a woman holds out hope, way too long.

--Bullwinkle

[Allen & Sally 0]

All I hear is whining Rockhouse...talking about how horrible and empty American women are. Sheesh...I'd love to hear the other side of the story from the ex's as I'm sure you weren't such an angel yourself. Whatever happened to personal responsibility...or is that only convenient when it comes to not placing any blame on yourself?

A note to why this is a topic for those who aren't Filipino...it's a public forum. I'm sure if there was a conversation in another regional thread about how awful Filipina women are you would go in and defend yourselves all the same.

Lol, yeah, i guess i need to take a look at myself and be honest, like how i have custody of both my kids now because my ex went to jail for beating up her new husband forcing my kids and him to lock themselves in their bedroom as she beat holes through the door while she screamed that she was gonna stab him in the heart. You dont know ###### about me. The TS asked why we prefer Filipinas. I prefer them because AS A WHOLE, ALL the American women i have dated, as well as those friends have dated/married don't hold a candle to the Filipinas. Sorry if it pisses you off, it's not whining, it's observations and experiences that i am typing on a forum....deal with it.

BTW, if your not an American woman then why get so bent outta shape?

[MMW 2]

since not all men in america are running to the philipeans for a wife i would say that not all men in the united states are thinking the same as these men here. there are alot of men who are happy with the american woman so that means there is nothing wrong with us at all.

also the men here have grown up in the same society as we have so if they call us spoiled then what are they then? not only american woman can be spoiled u know.

the reason the woman here act the way they do is because of how they were treated in the past. the woman stayed home, raised the man's kids, cooked, cleaned, ironed her husbands clothes...etc and then man was out sleeping with his secretary...secretary gets pregnant....man dumps wife for his lover...leaving wife and kids to defend themself....thus, womans rights evolved. courts started siding with the woman because she was doing her job as a wife....man broke up the marriege with cheating...woman gets alimony....man gets mad because he has to support his ex and kids....man hate american woman for that.

example 2. woman supports man while he go gets his education and then dumps wife when he gets his degree.

yes believe it or not...this is what changed the woman back in the day. they had to become self sufficient for her own sake as well as her kids.

sorry guys...cant change history.

sorry girls from philipeans....these men probably are afraid of american woman as they are a threat to his earnings where u girls dont know the rules here in the united states and they feel safe that if u divorse them u wont get half of what they make. they will threaten to send u back to the philipeans and out of fear u wont do anything to hurt them.

Yep. Needs professional help.

is that the best u can do? i speak the truth and u think i need professional help? i tell it like it is and u think i need professional help? are u kidding me?

Donna, what you said does apply to some American men and it is true that some men have real issues but to generalize is so wrong. I was with an American woman for 17 yrs and after 7 affairs on her part, never cleaning house or caring for the kids it had to end! Do i blame all American women for being like this NO that would be stupid. But my ex was not what you would call a model wife either. The things that were important to me and my children were not to her. She had an attitude that the world owed her something and that it was her right to have it, with or without the hard work needed to achieve it. I found in my Pinay wife the qualities i expected from my American wife and never got. Love, commitment, partnership and love for our children. As for the support issue i never missed a payment and even took groceries to her house for the kids because her personal needs were more important than what the support money was for. So please get off the high horse about American men. there are issues with both men and women from our country and it is because of the loss of family values. What i get from my Filipina wife is a dedication to the greater good of the family and her self wants are secondary, not because i control her but because she chooses to put her family first. I wish it could be said to be the same for some American women and men as well.

[B&Gie 0]

I am still wondering though, why filipinas? I am from Phil's neighbour country and I would say that some Southeast Asian countries' ladies are not that much different with Filipina's in terms of holding family orientation value. Let's say.. Thai, Indonesian, or Malaysian. I have had this question a long ago too, it's not answered yet

Good question. There are a ton of reasons but it all comes down to history, and how it has affected the culture, religion, and language in the Philippines. 300 years of Spanish rule and 100 years of American rule/influence has left the Philippines very westernized. They are Catholic, they speak English, and it's one of the few places where they actually LIKE Ammerica.(because we helped them kick out the Japanese who were brutal bastards in WW2)

The religion thing is huge. Two reasons here. First a LOT of ultra conservative christian guys head to the Philippines because there are a heck of a lot more conservative christian girls there than in the US and they're way easier to find. Even for non Christians this is a plus. For example I'm an atheist so I really would prefer another atheist. However part of my family is catholic, so I'm more comfortable marrying a catholic than say a Buddhist or especially a Muslim. Not that that would be a big issue for me personally, but it would for a lot of people. Haha, Grandma would flip if I brought home a Muslim wife. You have to remember that like 70 to 80% of the US is Christian of some sort, which makes Indonesia and Malaysia very low on the list of places Americans are going to look for a wife. My guess is over half the guys in America would refuse to marry a Muslim. No way no how. Buddhist is less of a problem. Only the conservative Christians(I'd guess 25%) would refuse to marry a Buddhist.

The other huge thing is the language. Most Pinays speak decent English, many of them very good english. They study it every year of school so your average 16 year old girl there has like 10 years of lessons and speaks English much better than her counterparts anywhere else in Asia , well except Singapore.

The culture thing is interesting too. The culture is much more similar to the US culture, so there is a lot less culture shock. The Philippines is also a much more international culture. They export workers and wives. Everyone there knows someone who works overseas or got married to a foreigner. That's where the money comes from. The foreign worker especially is officially considered to be a cultural hero. That's how you make it there....by getting out. Just remember to send back cash for those you left behind. I bet over 95% of the young women with even occasional internet access have a filipinaheart account. Heck, I've seen 10 year old girls chatting in the internet cafes with foreign guys just to practice and pass the time. The guys drink Tanduay rum, and the girls look for foreign boyfriends. Those are the national pastimes.

The other cultural thing is how warm the people are. I'm not saying anything bad about the rest of SE Asia...the cultural and language barriers make it a totally unfair comparison, but I've never been anywhere where the people are half as friendly as in the Philippines. The friendliness just immediately shines out of them. I've had a guy try to hand me a shot of rum through the window of a bus for the 2 seconds it stopped at a stop sign. That's the kind of friendliness I'm talking about, and it's the norm. Also there are hardly any foreigners there compared mainland SE Asia.

To answer the OP, i wasn't looking for a Filipina wife, and it took me a while to get used to the idea. I spent about half a year in the Philippines on vacation. As a young fairly good looking white guy, the girls were practically lining up to meet me even when I was just walking down the street. It was actually kind of freaky, like hay did I turn into Brad Pit overnight or something? It was like dong at least a years worth of dating each month. Anyway, that makes it really hard not to end up with a great girlfriend. My girl is one of the warmest, most kind-hearted, most cheerful people I have ever met. She is smart, hard working, and not materialistic or shallow. It's kind of funny to say but one of the things I love about her is that she is content with so little. As long as she has food, shelter, good health, and a loving relationship she is happy. She appreciates those simple, important things and just radiates happiness. That's an attitude that's hard to find here in the US. It's how I try to be myself, but to be honest she's a good deal better at it than I am. We're not perfect for each other in every way. However I could spend years in the bar scene and not find a better match, and I can't imagine there's another girl on the planet who could ever be more in love with me. Besides, I love the Philippines almost as much as I love my Filipina. If only there were jobs there.

[EricC 0]

hello guys,this questions are for all the american men who married to a filipina

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE A FILIPINA WHEN YOU HAVE ALL THE CHANCE TO MARRY AN AMERICAN LADY AND YOU DONT HAVE TO WORRY OF ALL THOSE BIG EXPENSES AND NOT TO WAIT FOR SO LONG TO BE TOGETHER AND THEN EXPERIENCE THE ADJUSTING PERIOD BECAUSE YOU HAVE DIFFERENT CULTURE AND BELIEFS? I ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS TO MY HUSBAND AND THIS WHAT HE SAID " I'VE LEARNED MY LESSONS AFTER THE 2 DIVORCES I HAD" THATS SO SAD BUT IS IT TRUE?.

CAN YOU PLEASE DESCRIBE US FILIPINAS TROUGH YOUR POINT OF VIEW

I didn't choose a Filipina, I chose my wife and that was because I loved her. I didn't go looking for a relationship, let alone one from the Philippines. But true love comes when you least expect it.

This image sums up how I feel...