Dont want to go to USA

[Twisted K 2]

Is there a way you can possibly fail the interview? As in not answer the questions correctly? I really do hope things work out for you. Good luck in whatever you decide

[payxibka 10,045]

Is there a way you can possibly fail the interview? As in not answer the questions correctly? I really do hope things work out for you. Good luck in whatever you decide

She can simply tell the CO.. "I do not want a visa"... visa will be refused... nuff said, end of story.

[pushbrk 12,824]

Is there a way you can possibly fail the interview? As in not answer the questions correctly? I really do hope things work out for you. Good luck in whatever you decide

She can simply tell the CO.. "I do not want a visa"... visa will be refused... nuff said, end of story.

I've been reading this with some interest. The above suggestion will certainly end the quest for the visa but not end the story. The OP is fearing the repercussions from spouse and family after the visa is denied or otherwise not obtained or if obtained, not used. The petitioner can ask for an explanation from the Consulate and is generally afforded one. I don't see the Consulate making up some kind of answer that will get the OP off the hook with spouse and family. In fact, I can't think of one that would accomplish that even if the Consulate was willing.

Beyond simply indicating she doesn't want the visa so she doesn't get one, this is a family issue, not an immigration issue. Since it needs to be dealt with in the family anyway, my immigration advice would be NOT to get a medical or go to the interview unless one is planning to obtain the visa and use it. I just don't see a way out of dealing with the family issues directly at some point. It's just going to be worse if the husband has paid the fees to NVC and somebody pays for a medical and travel to Islamabad etc. only later to find out the wife has been holding back her true intentions for quite some time.

[david.smith 0]

Being abusive is not a big deal, being repulsive is not a big deal nothing is a big deal. marriage is all about duty and what not. Someone went so far in ASSUMING that i got a prince charming who has promissed me another heaven. Someone quoted verses from Quraan forgetting that Prophet PBUH once cancelled a marriage just because the girl didnt like the face of her husband. All i was asking was a smooth way out to buy me time here in Pakistan to see if the things settle or not. Im not looking for a divorce or a family drama thats why i was asking if there is a smooth way out of this quagmire. Is there any provission in LAW through which i can escape? in a way that the interviewer denies or rejects under some legal provission? I hope now it would be clear to my worthy friends what my question is. i hope n pray that someone wise gives me a clear way through. i would pray for you all my life.

and why didn't you refuse the marriage from the beginning? Islam gave you the right to decide and to speak. Anyways, since you are married now, then you have to speak to your family not to visajourney.com. this is a family matter and has nothing to do with visa or immigration. solve the problem first. Know why you dislike your husband. speak frankly to your family and to your husband about the things that you dislike. May Allah guide you and him.

[Giskat09 2]

Why it took so long for you to reach this stage??? Supposedly at the very beginning, you should have let them know that you are against of it..

Just be frank! - for sure the consul will deny your visa while your still talking...

[MumtazG38 1]

okay first things first, you forget that when the Prophet (S.A.W) canceled that marriage it was not based on the mere fact that the women did not like the face of her husband, in fact this divorce was not even intended for the benefit of the women, it was intended as punishment for her lack of appreciation for the man whom she was married to. It was punishment for not fulfilling her half of the responsibilities in the relationship solely because she thought her husbands looks weren't worthy of her own. Also, you may or may not have read the haddaa'it that also mentions the fact that the same women and women like her (yes it mentions both) were initially doomed to be alone for the rest of their lives because they are shallow and drown themselves in the sin of excessive pride in themselves. A few of these women whom were already married and would deny their husbands of the husbands right to intimacy, were deemed denying themselves and their husbands of the responsibility as a muslim women that Allah has placed upon Eve, for Adam, and Adam for Eve. There are few responsibilities (faraiz) of the married women in Islam......very few. In fact it is a very common mistake when many religious leaders and teachers claim that the women has a responsibility to bare sons/children and cook and clean. The truth is, if you ask any KNOWLEDGEABLE alim you will come to find that actually the only responsibilities on a women towards her husband are 1. To tell her husband before she decides to leave the house for her own safety and so that he does not waste time worrying himself to oblivion, and does not fall into shaq' or doubt of his wife (we all know men do this...it is in their dumbfounded nature). 2. To let her husband perform acts of intimacy with her, also so that he does not feel that he is disliked or not loved by his wife....also to relieve the wife of any blame that a wrongful thinking man would place on his wife. Allah only ADVISES in the Quraa'n through our Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) that if the women does have the time and knows what her responsibilities as a human being are, not necessarily as a wife or women....then she may cook and clean house for her husband....so that if the man goes to work all day...the women should not sit at home and wait for him to also come home and do the house work also. The same goes if the women is the bread-barer...or must leave the comfort of home for like activities, fulfilling her responsibilities as a equal partner in the relationship.

With this all said, I completely understand why you may want some time to think and wait to see whether it is really that big a problem, or if it may blow away with time. In fact, this is responsible thinking......as much responsible thinking that an arranged marriage can allow that is. Though, if you are living with your in-laws.....achieving this may prove quite difficult, if not completely impossible. As your in-laws most likely would rather have you be with their son than as their responsibility. Although, if you are still waiting to get rukhsatti than you may have a chance of getting exactly that.

BTW, do you know this.......A muslim women is not ACTUALLY deemed married until the first night of intimacy between her husband and herself. In fact, this is why rukhsati is not preffered in islam...in fact it is ma'kruh meaning, advised against. Because after the nikah has been recited, the married couple is required to consummate their love that exact night, or upto 3 days after if and only if the dowry has not reached the brides new home as of then. Once the dowry (this means islamic dowry...not your blowdryers and lipsticks) has reached it's destination though, time's up. Actually, if a husband and wife do not make love 3 nights in a row after their suhaag raat as it is commonly called in Pakistan and India, the marriage automatically becomes void, and if either wants to have intimacy with the other afterwards of that, they would need to perform nikah once more...as the first nikah would become null.

I suggest that you talk to you own family about this matter. You need to tell them what it is that scares you, or worries you about this man. If they believe that you are old enough to become married then they should also believe that islam allows a women of ba'ligh age to make her own decisions before, in/during, and after marriage life. Ba'ligh age being either 18 years of age or when the women physically appears to have become a women(Menstration) and seems to be able to think for herself and make responsible decisions. Tell your family this...tell them your rights and their responsibilities as good muslim parents to give you your rights. Tell them you want to wait and see.......I'm sure if you explain your fears...either they will be able to help ease them or....they might even help you to put a definite pause on this immigration procedure your husband wants to start. Always be truthful, to yourself at first, and then others.

Please truly consider why it is you fear being with him ok. I completely believe that you are a responsible adult and can clearly think much better for your safety then any of us here, but I still would like to advise that you seriously consider thinking about the actual reasons behind what it is that you dislike about this man.

You say, the abuse is okay...that he is repulsive to you but that is ok. Please think about what you consider abuse....and why does he repulse you so much. Did you not get the right to say no to this rishta??? That is your islamic right. If this man has ever laid hands on you....that is against islam in every way!! Not to mention against Pakistani and American laws! You should not be with this man and you need to help your family figure that out. If the abuse has never been physical but it is verbal, then please consider getting your parents to talk to his parents about it.....I'm sure they can come to a nice conclusion if things are handled responsibly and without hostility from both sides.

You know what......I would really like to help you, my cousin, whom I love dearly is going through pretty much the same situation...only now she is pregnant and is very terribly stressed. Her husband beats her and threatens to leaver her and baby.....just awful. I completely feel for you........if you wouldn't mind I would love for you to pm me and talk to me about what the problem is.....maybe I can help. If not, at least I will do my absolute best to assist you in any way I can.

I pray for the best for you! Inshallah Allah will have mercy on you. Just do dua'....whenever you can...it really helps. I promise.

[ProudWife 0]

I am requesting to move this to another forum.

Will my husband come to know that i have refused in the embassy? and can he get a proof for that too? what if he comes to Pakistan and goes to the embassy with me?

This is what I meant earlier in the thread when I said "will your family persue anything"

I was thinking of your husband asking to see the denial(which im sure he will)

I guess if you say you dont want to go..it wont be a denial, wouldnt it then be a "withdraw of application"?

Im sure you would face some serious family drama if it came out as a withdraw or if the denial stated somehow that you denied the application.

Are there any friends outside of the family that can advise you or help you. You have told your parents that you are fearful of him?

You only have to tell the interviewing officer that you are being forced into a marriage you do not want and that you do not want to go to the USA, also explain that you fear being blamed for a denial of the visa so you do not want your family or your husband to know you told the officer this. I am sure they have had this happen before and will ensure you are not implicated in any way.

I wonder how they would document that?

[Cocojumbo 0]

Ok. I never thought that this forum would turn into a marriage counselling debate. So lets make it more simple n straight. QUESTION: Is there a way to cheat the Interviewing Officer and get your visa denied? Is there a method available to manipulate the information during interview that finally the interviewing officer deems it necessary to refuse a visa? Please please please dont turn this into a RELIGIOUS sermon or a family counselling session. if u really have a suggestion to help me please write or just read smile and go to another forum.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Listen, people have told you in good faith what to do by telling the truth to the CO; yet you have ignored them. If you are looking for ways to "cheat", you should look on another website. VJ does not advocate telling lies to COs. Seriously.

[childress_london 3]

Listen, people have told you in good faith what to do by telling the truth to the CO; yet you have ignored them. If you are looking for ways to "cheat", you should look on another website. VJ does not advocate telling lies to COs. Seriously.

Exactly. If you don't want the visa, just tell the visa officer your situation. I can't see him/her giving you one against your wishes. "Sorry Ma'am. I know you don't want this visa, but I'm going to approve it for you anyway." If you have the interview without your fiance, this should be relatively easy.

People on VJ do tend to get emotional when responding to answers, I have found. It would be nice if people would address just the question without getting into a debate about the OP's relationship and what they should do about it.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Listen, people have told you in good faith what to do by telling the truth to the CO; yet you have ignored them. If you are looking for ways to "cheat", you should look on another website. VJ does not advocate telling lies to COs. Seriously.

Exactly. If you don't want the visa, just tell the visa officer your situation. I can't see him/her giving you one against your wishes. "Sorry Ma'am. I know you don't want this visa, but I'm going to approve it for you anyway." If you have the interview without your fiance, this should be relatively easy.

People on VJ do tend to get emotional when responding to answers, I have found. It would be nice if people would address just the question without getting into a debate about the OP's relationship and what they should do about it.

I agree sister. And that is what a high percentage of folks here did. We told her to tell the CO the truth and he would deny the visa quite fast. But it seems it is the OP herself who is relishing in all the drama.

[Cocojumbo 0]

What will the IO write in his judgement when my visa is refused because i told the truth? What all are the possible provissions available for an IO to write while denying a visa?

[Zee Bee 61]

What will the IO write in his judgement when my visa is refused because i told the truth? What all are the possible provissions available for an IO to write while denying a visa?

Is that going to make a difference as to whether you come to the US or not?

[malaikabab 0]

What will the IO write in his judgement when my visa is refused because i told the truth? What all are the possible provissions available for an IO to write while denying a visa?

Is that going to make a difference as to whether you come to the US or not?

Is that going to make a difference as to whether you come to the US or not?

Good question.

If you are thinking of harrasment from your husband while you are in US forget about that. This great country have great laws. You will get 10 year GC since you have been married for more that two years. Once you are in US you can live seperate from your husband...if you have lot of money or have a good job. It seems you have spent not enough time with you husband. One more try and one last chance will not cost you anything. Just implore your own thoughts and come up with solution.

Cheating with IO will not do any good for you.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

What will the IO write in his judgement when my visa is refused because i told the truth? What all are the possible provissions available for an IO to write while denying a visa?

Is that going to make a difference as to whether you come to the US or not?

Weird, eh?

whatever the CO writes down, is something no one will ever see.

what difference does it make, really?

I begin to smell troll.