Dont want to go to USA

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Folks told you already: be honest at the interview and say I DO NOT WANT TO GO LIVE IN THE UNITED STATES WITH THIS MAN. Then stay home.

Good luck.

[Cocojumbo 0]

Can i talk to someone at Islamabad counsolate and get any suggestion or advise before going for my interview?

[Cocojumbo 0]

Will my husband come to know that i have refused in the embassy? and can he get a proof for that too? what if he comes to Pakistan and goes to the embassy with me?

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

Will my husband come to know that i have refused in the embassy? and can he get a proof for that too? what if he comes to Pakistan and goes to the embassy with me?

Be honest with the officer at the embassy. They can refuse a visa if they know you do not love him and dont want a life with him. Most likely, they will interview you alone and not with husband. Just cause he shows up at interview does not mean he will be allowed in the room with your interview!!! Good luck!

[Kez/JWolf 6]

You only have to tell the interviewing officer that you are being forced into a marriage you do not want and that you do not want to go to the USA, also explain that you fear being blamed for a denial of the visa so you do not want your family or your husband to know you told the officer this. I am sure they have had this happen before and will ensure you are not implicated in any way.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Will my husband come to know that i have refused in the embassy? and can he get a proof for that too? what if he comes to Pakistan and goes to the embassy with me?

This is what I meant earlier in the thread when I said "will your family persue anything"

I was thinking of your husband asking to see the denial(which im sure he will)

I guess if you say you dont want to go..it wont be a denial, wouldnt it then be a "withdraw of application"?

Im sure you would face some serious family drama if it came out as a withdraw or if the denial stated somehow that you denied the application.

Are there any friends outside of the family that can advise you or help you. You have told your parents that you are fearful of him?

You only have to tell the interviewing officer that you are being forced into a marriage you do not want and that you do not want to go to the USA, also explain that you fear being blamed for a denial of the visa so you do not want your family or your husband to know you told the officer this. I am sure they have had this happen before and will ensure you are not implicated in any way.

I wonder how they would document that?

[I Miss Her 0]

This would be strange: i was married to a man living in USA two years ago. Arranged family marriage couldnt workout well. I dont want to live with him, at the same time i cant divorce him due to FAMILY CONSTRAINTS. Cant even let it known that i dont want to live with him. Can anyone suggest me how to get a visa denied in interview without having a blame on me that i did it purposefully? Your help would be an act of charity please.

It is very unfortunate!

If you are married then you do not fall under K-1 category. Either you are coming under K-3 or CR1/IR1 categories.

Most likely, you will be alone with IO, so tell your story at the time of interview.

There is no life if you live with a person with no attachment.

[childress_london 3]

If you are able to have the interview by yourself, then there shouldn't be a problem. But if for some reason he comes with you and is admitted into the interview with you, then you are in a bad spot. If you find that you will end up in the U.S. anyway, start looking into your legal rights once you get here. Women in the U.S. have the same legal rights as men. If he starts to abuse you, there are women's shelters that will take you in and help you. You do not have to stay with this abusive man even if you end up in the U.S.

[Sailor Moon 2]

I have gone through all the posts and am virtually confused. confused about the solution not my husband as i would try to put what a man he is in few words and i guess that would suffice. He is a man who can say any time and about anything that he has said a 100 times : i never said this, i never did this or i dont even know what you are talking about. Now u can immagine the cunnigness i guess. The problem is that he is bent upon getting me to US. His idea of revenge for knowing his personality may be dangerous for me because his father has been beating his mother brutally. I desperately want to get out of it without being blamed for anything. Families and talking wont change him as far his personality is concerned, not that i havent tried. The only way for me to remain safe is that i stay in Pakistan and live my life without getting into the riddles of divorce. Please suggest me any concrete solution. its an SOS please.

let me explain this to u ,u already his wife,u have married him 2 years ago,not going to him and describing his personality which is not some thing seriuos to make an excuse out of it and divorce ,unless there is another man in ur life whom may have promissed to marry u after divorcingyour current husband,,divorce it self in pakistan is such big red flag for any girl..if i was you i would come to US and try my life with my husband try my best to work it out ,give it a year or two ,then if he turn out to be worthless file for divorce as this is the land of freedom no one can stop u or even harm u ,not even ur family ,in fact woman have more rights to claim,be wise and use ur own mind not some one else who may have givin u some sweet promisses...

i belive even if u explain ur story to the CO(which is u standing infront of a counter and everyone listening to u in that hall which can be embarrassing to u to say all that loudly) then the case will be withdraw and ur husband will come to know about it .

all this writtin in a good faith and i am trying to help u out so please dont take it as an effense

[waitingpaidoff 0]

just dont go for interview, say that ur sick and not feeling well.

[afia 0]

salam,

how r u ? i was in the same situation as u but in my case i filed for my ex-husband he came to us got his 10 yrs green card,i tried to work it out but did not work , i had family problems too my sister and me got married in the same family so getting divorce was a big challenge for me , when i told my family i can not live with him anymore everyone was against me i got blamed for everything and i had a 3 yr old daughter too so figure out how hard was it,but you have to be strong and be honest if you think u r right whtever u doing.my ex-husband and my brother-in-law(sister's husband) are cousins. my brother in law still does not talk to me but i do not care, the only one i care about is my daughter.

not coming to us is not a solution talk to ur family talk to ur husband.

good luck,

afia

[MaxOnline 0]

Not wanting to live with the petitioner is not listed on the 221g form, thus, the CO can't deny her for that, this thing is personal...

Just be honest at the interview, tell them that you don't want to live with him anymore. He will will never know why they denied you. I am sure you can make up something for your fiance.

[david.smith 0]

The real question to be asked is why you don't want to be with him? Till you answer this question, my opinion is that since he filed for you to live with him in USA then he wants you; otherwise, he would marry another one besides you here! think wisely and try to solve your problems. Maybe if you go to USA and live with him, things will go okay with you. Allah Almighty says in the Holy Quran (English Translation):

(But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not) (2:216)

(O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good) (4: 19)

[Lindsay G 0]

Ok... if your husband abuses you and you are fearful to leave (plus culturally), then why on earth would anyone think it would get better if you went to USA with him? Again, you didn't say much about why you don't want to be with him, but if it's because of abuse, just remember that part of the abuse is isolating and controlling- you'll already be more cut off here, because you may not have family or friends, and you'll be dependent (at least initially) for finances... how will you leave if you need to? There are options, that you should know about right when you do get here if things get bad. There are battered women's shelter's and organizations set up for abuse victims. The consulate will probably be able to give you some resources while you are there if you do take the visa.

I have no advice on how to get out of them giving you a visa w/o that reason being documented. Is it possible to talk with a lawyer in Pakistan? Are there social workers there who can help you?

Take care of yourself; only you know what is best for your health and what your hopes are for your future life. Perhaps your husand isn't a bad guy and wont do what his father does. Perhaps your relationship will only improve with time and actually living together. Just think long and hard before you do something at the consulate that you may regret- like getting a lifetime ban.

Good luck.

[Cocojumbo 0]

Being abusive is not a big deal, being repulsive is not a big deal nothing is a big deal. marriage is all about duty and what not. Someone went so far in ASSUMING that i got a prince charming who has promissed me another heaven. Someone quoted verses from Quraan forgetting that Prophet PBUH once cancelled a marriage just because the girl didnt like the face of her husband. All i was asking was a smooth way out to buy me time here in Pakistan to see if the things settle or not. Im not looking for a divorce or a family drama thats why i was asking if there is a smooth way out of this quagmire. Is there any provission in LAW through which i can escape? in a way that the interviewer denies or rejects under some legal provission? I hope now it would be clear to my worthy friends what my question is. i hope n pray that someone wise gives me a clear way through. i would pray for you all my life.