Guitar calls it off

[faryan 4]

Hi Kevin,

Sorry to hear re your situation . However hurt you are feeling now, Im sure it will pass eventually and make you all the stronger and wiser.

Good luck on your new job and have a great 2009!

Warm regards.

[Cham 3]

Wait, I don't understand. She's suddenly and irreversibly walking away from 8 years' investment in a relationship on account of $14,000? Say it ain't so, brother! Surely it's just another bump in the road.....

Or another suitor is making a better offer and she is stalling me? This is Thailand we are talking about. There is a massive shroud, behind which, we have no idea what is really going on.

I honestly have no idea what the real story is.

But, I just accept the fact that I'll never know.

I am so sorry mate:(

one rule of thumb I learned is if they cant have you meet family or friends..SOMETHING is going on.

Maybe she has another or is already married and was taking you for a ride.

Again I am sorry and I think you are being very mature and awesome about this.

best wishes to you

[sara..... 371]

im very sorry to hear this has happened to u and i pray that u move on and find someone that is worth the love and devotion u have to give the right women, we will put ur in our prayers

sara

[nowhereman 1]

Along the same line of advice everyone else is giving, if it feels wrong there's a really good chance it is wrong. Don't even think of giving her money... you will never it or her again.

[Kevin and Guitar 0]

Along the same line of advice everyone else is giving, if it feels wrong there's a really good chance it is wrong. Don't even think of giving her money... you will never it or her again.

I have refrained from giving her money all these years, except for the one time I sent her $500 for some "doctor bills" (I knew I would never see it again).

The thing that throws me is that this is not some scamming bar girl, this is a college graduate that has worked for major U.S. companies. I hate to think that all those tender moments we spent together were all to set me up for a 450,000 THB sting.

The thing about not meeting her family or friends is most strange, I think. However, she did live at home and never wanted to upset mama by bringing home a big, white farang boyfriend. Every time she spent the night with me, she always had to tell mama some excuse.

There are lots of things that don't add up about this situation. If she was trying to scam me, shouldn't she be more aggressive about marrying me rather than dropping off the face of the earth? Or perhaps she has moved on to her next suitor?

[Dau_Que 0]

Along the same line of advice everyone else is giving, if it feels wrong there's a really good chance it is wrong. Don't even think of giving her money... you will never it or her again.

I have refrained from giving her money all these years, except for the one time I sent her $500 for some "doctor bills" (I knew I would never see it again).

The thing that throws me is that this is not some scamming bar girl, this is a college graduate that has worked for major U.S. companies. I hate to think that all those tender moments we spent together were all to set me up for a 450,000 THB sting.

The thing about not meeting her family or friends is most strange, I think. However, she did live at home and never wanted to upset mama by bringing home a big, white farang boyfriend. Every time she spent the night with me, she always had to tell mama some excuse.

There are lots of things that don't add up about this situation. If she was trying to scam me, shouldn't she be more aggressive about marrying me rather than dropping off the face of the earth? Or perhaps she has moved on to her next suitor?

The answer lies within your response: she can't milk you any $$ and the sex starts to get same old, same old for her, so time to move on......

I have refrained from giving her money all these years

You need to change your thinking......"She's educated and has blah blah <insert appropriate number here> college degrees. Therefore, she's NOT a scammer! The more education she's got, the more sophisticated schemes she'll draw out for your baits!

BTW, all those nights she spent with you and lied to her mom (actually it's her hubby), that's an indication she's a cheater! You've been messing around with a married woman (more than 50% chance is my guess)!

Edited January 17, 2009 by DPNH

[nowhereman 1]

Along the same line of advice everyone else is giving, if it feels wrong there's a really good chance it is wrong. Don't even think of giving her money... you will never it or her again.

I have refrained from giving her money all these years, except for the one time I sent her $500 for some "doctor bills" (I knew I would never see it again).

The thing that throws me is that this is not some scamming bar girl, this is a college graduate that has worked for major U.S. companies. I hate to think that all those tender moments we spent together were all to set me up for a 450,000 THB sting.

The thing about not meeting her family or friends is most strange, I think. However, she did live at home and never wanted to upset mama by bringing home a big, white farang boyfriend. Every time she spent the night with me, she always had to tell mama some excuse.

There are lots of things that don't add up about this situation. If she was trying to scam me, shouldn't she be more aggressive about marrying me rather than dropping off the face of the earth? Or perhaps she has moved on to her next suitor?

Given what you've said it's impossible to know what the truth really is, but there is one thing that is certain... it's a bad situation & you need to get out of it. My guess is that the real reason you posted here was that you were hoping other people would tell you that she's sincere & that you should trust her. I can understand that, but there is little evidence to suggest Guitar isn't playing you (sorry couldn't resist the pun... but seriously she's bad news).

[luckytxn 2,264]

Kevin. I know you are trying to work this all out in your head and musing so lets make it simple. Do a google search with Thai relationship scam, Bangkok relationship scam or just relationship scam. Read the many different relationship scams about just Thailand itself and see if you recognize anything. You will find many that are love scams from bar girls to so called middle class and even so called educated girls. ( You will see also why I say so called after doing some research).

The sending money for medical is maybe an even bigger scam whether it is medical for them or a family member to many other ways. They are usually running the scam on others too and live quite well. Some seem sincere when "All they ask for is about 50-100 dollars a months" but run this by 10-20 and it adds up to real money. Usually it involves higher amounts and more guys.

He was right it may be the husband but I saw that it is usually just a boyfriend that they keep in comfort. Now from what little I know that 14,000 dollar amount is going to be lowered to a lot better sounding few thousand or less. (According to what the market will bare) After the shock of the huge amount a few thou will seem like nothing.

You will need to get over this and go through the stages of grief of course but be glad you did not get taken for too much as many have.

[Melrose Plant 1]

I'm not trying to hijack this thread or anything, but I would like to point out that many, if not most SE Asians think all Westerners are rich people. Which, in many ways, we are. But not to the extent they're thinking.

I was made quite aware of this by an experience I had with some Vietnamese strangers who didn't realize my wife was my wife. I won't retell the story here. But the attitude seems to be, "Well, they're rich, a few hundred (or thousand) dollars is nothing to them. Why shouldn't they give it to me?"

[daboyz 36]

Along the same line of advice everyone else is giving, if it feels wrong there's a really good chance it is wrong. Don't even think of giving her money... you will never it or her again.

I have refrained from giving her money all these years, except for the one time I sent her $500 for some "doctor bills" (I knew I would never see it again).

The thing that throws me is that this is not some scamming bar girl, this is a college graduate that has worked for major U.S. companies. I hate to think that all those tender moments we spent together were all to set me up for a 450,000 THB sting.

The thing about not meeting her family or friends is most strange, I think. However, she did live at home and never wanted to upset mama by bringing home a big, white farang boyfriend. Every time she spent the night with me, she always had to tell mama some excuse.

There are lots of things that don't add up about this situation. If she was trying to scam me, shouldn't she be more aggressive about marrying me rather than dropping off the face of the earth? Or perhaps she has moved on to her next suitor?

She's probably already married to a Thai.

[Kevin and Guitar 0]

She's probably already married to a Thai.

You may be right about that one. Who knows what her true status is?

I'm not trying to hijack this thread or anything, but I would like to point out that many, if not most SE Asians think all Westerners are rich people. Which, in many ways, we are. But not to the extent they're thinking.

I was made quite aware of this by an experience I had with some Vietnamese strangers who didn't realize my wife was my wife. I won't retell the story here. But the attitude seems to be, "Well, they're rich, a few hundred (or thousand) dollars is nothing to them. Why shouldn't they give it to me?"

She knows that some people aren't rich. She knows that I am not in good financial straits. She knows I can't give her the 450,000 THB she needs for whatever reason. Which is why she has done a disappearing act once more.

Edited January 25, 2009 by Kevin and Guitar

[Kevin and Guitar 0]

Kevin. I know you are trying to work this all out in your head and musing so lets make it simple. Do a google search with Thai relationship scam, Bangkok relationship scam or just relationship scam. Read the many different relationship scams about just Thailand itself and see if you recognize anything. You will find many that are love scams from bar girls to so called middle class and even so called educated girls. ( You will see also why I say so called after doing some research).

Nothing would surprise me about Thailand. I used to have the attitude with her that since things "don't exactly add up", that I'll never give her money or be too serious with her. Just enjoy her company and have fun. I should have left things that way. I'm not shocked, just a little bummed out.

The sending money for medical is maybe an even bigger scam whether it is medical for them or a family member to many other ways. They are usually running the scam on others too and live quite well. Some seem sincere when "All they ask for is about 50-100 dollars a months" but run this by 10-20 and it adds up to real money. Usually it involves higher amounts and more guys.

When I visited once, she complained about a bum shoulder from her job as an office worker at a U.S. company. I believed it. Later, she asked me for $1000 for some therapy. I said no. Then later she asked me for a different amount, as if she was confused about the amount between me and some other guy. I think I ended up sending her $500 via Western Union. In 8 years, this was the only time I gave her money. When I saw her last, she claims to want to pay me back. Yeah, good joke! Looking back, I guess this was her first minor scam she played on me. The money is not a big issue. I considered it a gift.

He was right it may be the husband but I saw that it is usually just a boyfriend that they keep in comfort. Now from what little I know that 14,000 dollar amount is going to be lowered to a lot better sounding few thousand or less. (According to what the market will bare) After the shock of the huge amount a few thou will seem like nothing.

I would not be surprised if there is some "brother" in the background. I was waiting for it, actually.

The latest: Tried to call her and email her but still no contact. She has vanished. So, no contact with a lower amount. She knows I have a new higher paying job, so I am surprised. Stay tuned, though.

You will need to get over this and go through the stages of grief of course but be glad you did not get taken for too much as many have.

Thanks for your posts, I appreciate it. Getting over it will take awhile longer, but I'll be OK. The time I spent with this gal is worth a whole lot more than I have put out, so you're right, I am glad about that.

[Kevin and Guitar 0]

Given what you've said it's impossible to know what the truth really is, but there is one thing that is certain... it's a bad situation & you need to get out of it.

You are right. I am done calling or mailing. The photos are going out of my phone.

My guess is that the real reason you posted here was that you were hoping other people would tell you that she's sincere & that you should trust her.

Well, just feeling out the situation, you know? It's so freakin' bizarre.

I can understand that, but there is little evidence to suggest Guitar isn't playing you (sorry couldn't resist the pun... but seriously she's bad news).

You are not the only that "couldn't resist". Niiiiiice.

[Kevin and Guitar 0]

The answer lies within your response: she can't milk you any $$ and the sex starts to get same old, same old for her, so time to move on......

Who said anything about the sex?

Of course, that's the part that is awesome!

But, come to think of it, I'm not all that attractive. Could be!

It's probably more about the Baht. It's always about the Baht. Isn't it?

You need to change your thinking......"She's educated and has blah blah <insert appropriate number here> college degrees. Therefore, she's NOT a scammer! The more education she's got, the more sophisticated schemes she'll draw out for your baits!

Man, you have an excellent point there.

BTW, all those nights she spent with you and lied to her mom (actually it's her hubby), that's an indication she's a cheater! You've been messing around with a married woman (more than 50% chance is my guess)!

Not sure, but you could be right. How could I ever know? I've never been to her house, seen a family or a friend. Not one. It's the most telling thing. I'm glad I've never been confronted by a Thai husband!

[Kevin and Guitar 0]

Dear Guitar,

The economy stinks really badly right now and I'm afraid I can't spare the money you're trying to ask me for. Hope you understand and still LOVE me, even when I can't send you any money.

Love,

Your unlimimted supply of dollars.

This made me laugh.

Thank you!