Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Michelle: Because the rooster told him he was too chicken to do it.

[Marilyn. 340]

Howard Stern's Answer:

I'm afraid to answer that because the FCC would fine me for it! Wait until I'm on satellite radio, then I'll tell you.

Jessica Simpson 's Answer:

Why would he be one a road, I thought chickens lived in the ocean?

Homer Simpson 's Answer:

There was free beer on the other side of the road.

Bill Cosby 's Answer:

Weeelll, ya see, the chicken crossed the road, and to get... to...the jello pudding pops.

Snoop Dogg 's Answer:

This (censored) fool of a chicken didn't (censored) know

what the (censored) he was doin crossin a (censored) alley in (censored) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censored) mornin'.

Linda Tripp 's Answer:

"I've been friends with this chicken for a long time. I only recorded the chicken's crossing of the road because it was important for the country to know what was going on Pennsylvania Ave."

Isaac Newton 's Answer:

The duck suggested to the chicken that they play

follow the leader then the duck crossed the road causing the chicken to cross after it, but at the same time holding up traffic, thus proving that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction .

Shakespeare 's Answer:

To cross or not to cross, that is the question.

John Kerry's Answer:

I agree that the chicken should cross the road, but I believe that the chicken should not get to the other side..

Pete Rose 's Answer:

I don't know, but I swear I didn't bet on it.

Gandhi 's Answer:

All chickens should peacefully resist by crossing the road.

Colin Powell 's Answer:

This is not about whether inspectors made sure the chicken crossed the road, it's about the willingness of the chicken to cross the road voluntarily.

Darwin's Answer:

It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Another Darwin Answer:

Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected

in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

(former) Iraq Information Minister:

There is no such chicken trying to cross the road, and there never has been any such chicken.

Moses's Answer:

And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Hippocrates's Answer:

Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

Jack Nicholson's Answer:

'Cause it (censored) wanted to.

That's the (censored) reason.

Johnny Cochran 's Answer:

Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit.

Mark Twain's Answer:

The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Secretary Cheney's Answer:

Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they

wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need

help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the

road myself.

Captain Kirk' s Answer:

To go where no chicken has gone before.

Neil Armstrong Answer:

That's one small step for Chicken, one giant leap for Chicken kind.

Al Gore's Answer:

I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

Another Al Gore Answer:

I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.

Bill Gates' Answer:

I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

Jerry Seinfield's Answer:

Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

Rush Limbaugh's Answer:

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

Sigmund Freud's Answer:

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

L.A.P.D.'s Answer:

Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

O.J. Simpson's Answer:

It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.

Edited June 13, 2006 by MarilynP