Should Fiance Come Visit

[hockeygal 0]

any chance you can take a chunk of time off work and go to San Diego and hang out? From what you say it seems he is the one with the busier work schedule... maybe it would be easier to spend more time together if you went there?

[calidreamer80 0]

any chance you can take a chunk of time off work and go to San Diego and hang out? From what you say it seems he is the one with the busier work schedule... maybe it would be easier to spend more time together if you went there?

I would love to. I don't work so i have all the free time in the world. One thing though. I was denied twice at the border and I don't know whether its worth it to try and risk going across again.

[rushter 0]

Please don't fall for the panic syndrome method of operation. I can understand how you feel as my wife and I were separated for almost 2 years after my last visit and it took that long for me to get my finances in order and get her k1 properly filed. Even after it was approved and she had her visa in hand, it took another 3 months to get the plane ticket for her and her son to fly here.

You guys are VERY LUCKY that you're so close to each other, and can meet as often as you have.

I don't know how to explain this... (I'm just a man), but after we got married all of the antsy'ness went away and we settled down a lot. Feels a lot more secure, both of us do, after being officially married.

One thing that helped a lot was that she worked full time, had to take care of her son and keep up her house there by herself (so she was busy too). We talked 2-5 times per day, (she had a cell phone which made this easier), and emailed almost daily. We sent photos back and forth via email... I had a web cam set up so she could see me live and all that. Our long separation almost seemed routine, although she did exhibit some stress from time to time of the hassle of doing the man's work at her house and actually being full time mom and dad at home without me being there. It was not easy.

Her stress became mine by a factor of 10X... But that's the way the ball bounces in this business.

If you're not working and are capable, you might want to try to find a part time job to help you while away the time after all, if your mind has too much time to work, it'll definitely over-work itself into un-necessarily stressful situations.

Just a few thoughts...

PS: I'm not sure if you can visit here with the K1 pending... Not the expert, but If you have to apply for a visa (with a k visa pending), then I don't think you can do it; (but with Canada, no visa should be necessary anyways). If you try to come over the border without one and they know you've got a k1 pending, then it's their judgement call if you plan on visiting without returning. Someone else like yodrak would know better.

Edited June 11, 2006 by rushter

[calidreamer80 0]

Please don't fall for the panic syndrome method of operation. I can understand how you feel as my wife and I were separated for almost 2 years after my last visit and it took that long for me to get my finances in order and get her k1 properly filed. Even after it was approved and she had her visa in hand, it took another 3 months to get the plane ticket for her and her son to fly here.

You guys are VERY LUCKY that you're so close to each other, and can meet as often as you have.

I don't know how to explain this... (I'm just a man), but after we got married all of the antsy'ness went away and we settled down a lot. Feels a lot more secure, both of us do, after being officially married.

One thing that helped a lot was that she worked full time, had to take care of her son and keep up her house there by herself (so she was busy too). We talked 2-5 times per day, (she had a cell phone which made this easier), and emailed almost daily. We sent photos back and forth via email... I had a web cam set up so she could see me live and all that. Our long separation almost seemed routine, although she did exhibit some stress from time to time of the hassle of doing the man's work at her house and actually being full time mom and dad at home without me being there. It was not easy.

Her stress became mine by a factor of 10X... But that's the way the ball bounces in this business.

If you're not working and are capable, you might want to try to find a part time job to help you while away the time after all, if your mind has too much time to work, it'll definitely over-work itself into un-necessarily stressful situations.

Just a few thoughts...

PS: I'm not sure if you can visit here with the K1 pending... Not the expert, but If you have to apply for a visa (with a k visa pending), then I don't think you can do it; (but with Canada, no visa should be necessary anyways). If you try to come over the border without one and they know you've got a k1 pending, then it's their judgement call if you plan on visiting without returning. Someone else like yodrak would know better.

Thanks for the thoughts. I don't plan on entering the workforce again until I am sure of what my future holds and that I can be 100% committed to anyone sort of job. In the meantime though, he is going to visit me again sometime over the summer since we discussed it and he feels he needs to see me once more before the interview.