Should Fiance Come Visit

[calidreamer80 0]

I don't know if this goes here or not but oh well someone can move it if its not in the right place.

Here's the thing. Jon was going to come visit me next whenever my interview is at. Well right now I don't even see any signs of that happening until the fall what with our noa2 still missing and everything and its already the middle of June so before work gets busy and he can't take time off til fall, should he come visit me again? Or should we just tough it out til the fall or whenever? I'm really finding it harder to go without seeing him after each visit and I'm broken about not getting to see him til the fall (because in reality USCIS isn't going to speed up our case in 2 months) I can't even concentrate on very much anymore because I miss him so bad. Is it selfish of me to want him to come visit again so soon after his last visit? I'm confused. I'm emotional and I just want him to hold me or be with me. I'm sick at the thought of having to wait til Sept/October to be with him again. Any advice? I am not even sure this post is coherent but I'll post it anyway. Some people go through alot more time than I do between visits but those visits are everything to me, ya know? I think I'm still with him because of these visits. If I didn't have the visits I would fall apart compleltey, you know? So ya thanks for listening.

Edited June 10, 2006 by calidreamer80

[pnd629 0]

If he is able to visit, I think he should.

We just got packet 3, so we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel in this process. But I will be on a plane 2 days after the school year ends here(I teach at a year round school--we don't get out until July 21!)

[YnaYeBa0808 0]

hi! i know where you are coming from. i just recently came back from visiting my fiance in the philippines. ive seen him last january then flew back again may. I am sure everyone else can attest to this but to be with your loved one gives you peace of mind as well as strength to carry on... i totally think your fiance should visit you. even if that means that you may get your interview later than when he is there, he doesnt have to be in your interview anyways (if he can go all the more better). you need the support right now... all these things going on is drving all of us anxious if not most. who knows maybe he will be there when you get your NOA2 then you guys can celebrate together (yes im still a bit bit optimistic). but i think you should spend time with him... i hope you feel better....

Huggs

[GaryC 7]

I am an advocate for visiting as often as you can afford without wrecking your finances. I go about every 6 months for 2 weeks at a time. In fact I am in the Philippines right now!!!

[Walker 0]

He should visit. Just make sure that he brings as much evidence as possible that he plans on returning to his own country - letter from his employer, return ticket(obviously) - anything you can think of to show that he is still commited to returning home after the visit and isn't just going to disappear. I visited my fiance a month or so back(my interview is on monday - woohoo!) and had all this evidence that I wasn't planning on becoming an illegal alien but when i went through immigration they didn't even say anything...still, better safe than sorry!

[eclowjpd 0]

Nobody can tell you what you should do. I am assuming that you have enough proof of having an ongoing relationship. If that's true, I would then look at two things - will staying apart longer put strain on the relationship or even jeopordize it. Second, can he afford to visit from a financial or work standpoint.

There was about 90 days between my visits to my fiance, and 5 more times after meeting her. I am fortunate in that I have the vacation time and could do it financially. Had we not been able to visit this often, I tend to think it would have been tough on our relationship. But that's our situation. You'rs is different.

But trying to take some emotion out of it, and looking at it from a more practical standpoint may help you.

Good luck.

[Karen_L 1]

By all means, have him attend the interview with you if possible! If there were any way on earth I could get time off from work to be with my fiance' for his interview in July, I'd fly out without a second thought to support him at the consulate! It may even make the interview easier if he can be there with you.

[luvaLimey 0]

I say follow your hearts on this, but as others have pointed out be prepared so he can get into Canada without any problems. (who has problems getting into Canada???)

I haven't seen my fiance since I went over to spend a week with him for his birthday. I couldn't really afford it, but I also couldn't really afford NOT to, since that trip actually brought us closer than we ever had been. I wont be seeing him again until October/November as well, but by then, we'll be together for good. No more goodbyes at airports and not knowing when we'll see each other again!

Edited June 10, 2006 by luvaLimey

[calidreamer80 0]

Thanks everyone. We do see eachother every 2-3 months and its been almost 4 weeks since the last visit. It scares me to think that this process could go on and on and on and we might not be able to see eachother until sept/october. His busy time at work starts July 22 and after that he wont be able to get time off which is why I think he should come know. I don't think he has as much trouble as I do being away because he has work and everything else to keep him busy. Myself though, I rely on those visits alot and they keep me together in one piece. It's just hard to decide this because it hasn't been long since he was here last but it could be 4 months or so before he gets a chance to come back once work picks up. I just want him here with me for a few days so that I can feel better and everything. I think its safe to say our visa isn't going to be granted before fall anyway so.....I think he should come but I can't make him if he doesn't want to. It depends on work too and ofcourse finances since he spends quite alot to come see me. Flights aren't cheap from San Diego to Ontario. *sigh*

[Mephys 2]

OMG your posts are almost making me cry, I would so recommend you to have him coming to see you if you have to opportunity time and money wise.

Im from Montreal and my BF is currently in Chicago and it kills me to know that we are so close together but so far at the same time. We have been lucky to see each other ever 5 weeks since November but its getting really expensive ( somehow I would have think that since its close it would have been cheaper, but no). But I totally understand what you are going through, as I feel Im going to fall apart every 2-3 weeks or so. This is a lot of stress. Thing is I cannot even fill my K-1 now with him because we are waiting for him to get his divorce papers, and I am the one usually visiting him because he has kids and cant really leave for couple days, and I am scared I wont be able to go once we send the K-1 cause I could be stopped at the border. Ok i guess I am rambling a little bit. But just know how much I understand what you are going through.

You got one chance in a lifetime to meet the right person, but yet have to go through all this process to make it even more impossible. Immigration is hard to believe sometimes. It makes us pay the price for all the people that tried to screw the system in the past. Neways. Good luck

Mephys

[calidreamer80 0]

OMG your posts are almost making me cry, I would so recommend you to have him coming to see you if you have to opportunity time and money wise.

Im from Montreal and my BF is currently in Chicago and it kills me to know that we are so close together but so far at the same time. We have been lucky to see each other ever 5 weeks since November but its getting really expensive ( somehow I would have think that since its close it would have been cheaper, but no). But I totally understand what you are going through, as I feel Im going to fall apart every 2-3 weeks or so. This is a lot of stress. Thing is I cannot even fill my K-1 now with him because we are waiting for him to get his divorce papers, and I am the one usually visiting him because he has kids and cant really leave for couple days, and I am scared I wont be able to go once we send the K-1 cause I could be stopped at the border. Ok i guess I am rambling a little bit. But just know how much I understand what you are going through.

You got one chance in a lifetime to meet the right person, but yet have to go through all this process to make it even more impossible. Immigration is hard to believe sometimes. It makes us pay the price for all the people that tried to screw the system in the past. Neways. Good luck

Mephys

Thanks girl. It is so unbelievably stressful and those visits are what I have to cling to. I know all about waiting for the divorce to be finished too because I had to do that too. It takes a year in Ontario for your seperation to be legal so you can file for divorce so that whole process was 16 months for me. We have now been apart for 21 months and its getting too much to bear. I didn't want it to be like this but it seems its going to be no matter what I do. It will probably have been 2 years and some before I even get my visa. I just want this chapter to close so I can open up another one, a better and more happy one. This grief of not being together is almost too much to bear sometimes. *sigh* All the best.

[Karen_L 1]

I don't know if this goes here or not but oh well someone can move it if its not in the right place.

Here's the thing. Jon was going to come visit me next whenever my interview is at. Well right now I don't even see any signs of that happening until the fall what with our noa2 still missing and everything and its already the middle of June so before work gets busy and he can't take time off til fall, should he come visit me again? Or should we just tough it out til the fall or whenever? I'm really finding it harder to go without seeing him after each visit and I'm broken about not getting to see him til the fall (because in reality USCIS isn't going to speed up our case in 2 months) I can't even concentrate on very much anymore because I miss him so bad. Is it selfish of me to want him to come visit again so soon after his last visit? I'm confused. I'm emotional and I just want him to hold me or be with me. I'm sick at the thought of having to wait til Sept/October to be with him again. Any advice? I am not even sure this post is coherent but I'll post it anyway. Some people go through alot more time than I do between visits but those visits are everything to me, ya know? I think I'm still with him because of these visits. If I didn't have the visits I would fall apart compleltey, you know? So ya thanks for listening.

I notice that you last saw your fiance' 25 days ago (says so on your tickertag ) may I suggest something -- I've been with my fiance' for three large chunks of time over the last year and a half; 2 months in Fall 2004, 3 weeks in Spring 2005 and 1 month (Jan. 2006) and I've noticed that when I first get back from visiting I'm more or less okay (i.e. the first two weeks) because even though we may have made a scene at the airport as I was leaving, we just saw each other, and that's comforting for a while. But I've noticed that almost EXACTLY a month everytime after coming back to the US, I miss him DESPERATELY to the point where I literally cannot think of anything else but how much I miss him. I think a month after I return the reality of how long I have to wait to see him again (and maybe, in a small way, the fear I never will again) hits me. Do you think you may be experiencing something similar -- panic at the realization of how long it may be? I completely sympathize with how you feel right now, but maybe if your fiance' has some financial troubles relating to traveling, it's better if he doesn't visit again right away so he can visit later on when you haven't seen him for a longer while.

This feeling of desperation will somewhat pass, I think, but maybe planning for him to return in a few months would make you feel better, even if he won't be arriving for a little while. Buying the plane ticket and knowing the exact date when we will see each other has always made my fiance' and I feel better, even if the date was months away. It's something concrete to look forward to.

Good luck! I hope you feel better soon!

[calidreamer80 0]

That sounds exactly like what I'm experiencing. I am fine for about a week after he goes back home too and then the panic always settles in. This is the first time though which I have not had a date of a visit to look foward to. That's probably why I am going outta my mind. Just knowing a date of when he will return helps me cuz then I WILL know he is coming back but right now I don't so I'm freaking out. Thanks for the reply

[iceyspots 0]

i wont be able to be here for yacine's interview, but it's ok because i get two months with him now

[calidreamer80 0]

i wont be able to be here for yacine's interview, but it's ok because i get two months with him now

Two months must be damn nice! If only I could be with Jon for that long. I think he's going to come sometime this summer after talking to him and discussing things.