I'm back and have more questions..

[morocco4ever 63]

This whole discussion about fabrication of proof of ongoing relationships seems strange to me, I have never seen in all the years of reading anecdotal evidence here a member reporting the CO suggested their proof was created/fabricated. Naturally I dont read all threads, every thread, but that is a heavy claim that would garner some attention.

Well, i'm not making up that I had read a thread saying their visa was denied, because the CO said, the Fiance had made up the proof of an ongoing relationship. I don't recall what thread it was, but as I said, I believe it wasn't concerning someone in MENA and I thought who better to ask, than MENA themselves if they had gone through it and if so, how did you deal with it. So, no need for it to seem strange as I didn't make it up. Someone I believe said, they saw it to, but it wasn't in MENA.

I do remember that. It was Martiniolive that suspected that the CO thought that her husband had made up their emails. That is the first and only time I have seen this issue on VJ.

I do think you are working yourself up a little too much however. Just take notes from those that have given you good advice. You have a strong case, you have been there to visit many times. That in and of itself is one of the best evidence you could provide. The fact that you don't have a ring should be discussed between you. Not that it will prove fraud, but if you are allergic (I think you said) then he should be prepared to answer that just in case.

From what I am seeing is that you are going through the normal stress that we all go through. The "what if" stress. It gets old on a daily basis thinking of ways to prove your relationship is valid. Just do the best you can, listen to the good advice, and take it one day at a time. One person gave me some very valid advice. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Do what you can to prepare, and then give your mind a break. I think it might take you over the edge if you keep stressing this bad. And I don't mean this as an insult, I mean this from personal experience.

[Sinergy 3]

The fact that you made an entire thread about this is more immature than what we discuss over there.

Also using expats to cause drama and sling poo is reportable and a big NO NO with ewok.

keep that in mind for further thoughts on posting about it.

I also want to add...for those who still dont know....expats was created to allow ppl to let off steam in away we cant on VJ. To allow ppl to hash it out when it gets too outta hand on VJ, and you dont want a suspension. That is and always has been the purpose of that site.

Edited January 9, 2009 by Sinergy

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

in short, if it's an expats issue, discuss it on expats. if vj, discuss it on vj. don't transfer the drama from one site to another.

I have not seen anything posted about this member on expats.

according to the op, there has been - last sentence of first paragraph.

"I know those of you who know i'm referring to you, will run off to your little group on.. expactgroups.com and proceed to make fun and belittle me as you do others on VJ".

Charles, where did I say in that quote they had said anything about me? I said, I know they would do me as they do others, didn't I?

i took the "make fun and belittle me" to be that it's actually happened there.

Organizers are not mods.

unless she's saying mags/william/jenn/kim did something over there.

Uhhh. no i'm not saying any such thing. I didn't mean to say Mods..as I think the most helpful person has been, Kim. Sorry I made another mistake, but I meant you, charles. I guess you're just an organizer, correct?

and what have i done to you?

[Sinergy 3]

in short, if it's an expats issue, discuss it on expats. if vj, discuss it on vj. don't transfer the drama from one site to another.

I have not seen anything posted about this member on expats.

according to the op, there has been - last sentence of first paragraph.

"I know those of you who know i'm referring to you, will run off to your little group on.. expactgroups.com and proceed to make fun and belittle me as you do others on VJ".

Charles, where did I say in that quote they had said anything about me? I said, I know they would do me as they do others, didn't I?

i took the "make fun and belittle me" to be that it's actually happened there.

Organizers are not mods.

unless she's saying mags/william/jenn/kim did something over there.

Uhhh. no i'm not saying any such thing. I didn't mean to say Mods..as I think the most helpful person has been, Kim. Sorry I made another mistake, but I meant you, charles. I guess you're just an organizer, correct?

and what have i done to you?

JUST an organizer

[Nothing1234 2]

Hi Jolie,

I'm glad you're back. I have messaged you and posted to you. All messages and posts where honest and from my experience and heart. I'm not sure who has PM'd you and upset you but you can report any issues or as others have suggested use the "ignore" feature it works wonders. Anything I have said here, in PM, on another site or email I would say to someones face and I stand behind that.

Wishing you the best of luck in your journey.

[My Mohammed 2]

This whole discussion about fabrication of proof of ongoing relationships seems strange to me, I have never seen in all the years of reading anecdotal evidence here a member reporting the CO suggested their proof was created/fabricated. Naturally I dont read all threads, every thread, but that is a heavy claim that would garner some attention.

Well, i'm not making up that I had read a thread saying their visa was denied, because the CO said, the Fiance had made up the proof of an ongoing relationship. I don't recall what thread it was, but as I said, I believe it wasn't concerning someone in MENA and I thought who better to ask, than MENA themselves if they had gone through it and if so, how did you deal with it. So, no need for it to seem strange as I didn't make it up. Someone I believe said, they saw it to, but it wasn't in MENA.

I do remember that. It was Martiniolive that suspected that the CO thought that her husband had made up their emails. That is the first and only time I have seen this issue on VJ.

I do think you are working yourself up a little too much however. Just take notes from those that have given you good advice. You have a strong case, you have been there to visit many times. That in and of itself is one of the best evidence you could provide. The fact that you don't have a ring should be discussed between you. Not that it will prove fraud, but if you are allergic (I think you said) then he should be prepared to answer that just in case.

From what I am seeing is that you are going through the normal stress that we all go through. The "what if" stress. It gets old on a daily basis thinking of ways to prove your relationship is valid. Just do the best you can, listen to the good advice, and take it one day at a time. One person gave me some very valid advice. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Do what you can to prepare, and then give your mind a break. I think it might take you over the edge if you keep stressing this bad. And I don't mean this as an insult, I mean this from personal experience.

I don't take what you said as an insult, trust me. Am I stressed out.. Heck yea, who wouldn't be. But, I know if I don't ask questions and get answers then I might as well kiss this whole thing goodbye. Am I worried about a ring? Heck no, dang I told him to get the one he wanted and if I had to, i'll go in there with my dang hand red, broke out and swelled so bad they'd call someone to cut the thing off.

Ladies, please those of you who are sincere, know that I am taking what you tell me and trying to learn from it. I have a book with everything I feel is good, honest, and correct information beside here. Also, I know who of you mean good and who doesn't.

This thread is from what has been said to me on VJ and what I read in other threads on VJ. I didn't know we couldn't mention another forum on here. Frankly, I could give a hoot what anyone writes about me on any forum, but what I do find disturbing is a VJ member keeping our pics in photobucket. LoL I knew to keep those pictures of mine private for a reason. Well, i'm outta here and on my way out to eat and to a movie with my daughter.

[caybee 21]

]

No, I never became upset about anything I was told. When I was told something, I questioned whether the CO in EGYPT only would question it and if so, how did those ahead of me deal with it. But when I sensed my thread and what I wrote was going somewhere it shouldnt.. I chose to forget it. Do I give a fig what anyone thinks of me? NO... What I do give a fig about is getting the help to questions w/o being made to feel my whole relationship is a scam.. which is exactly where that thread was headed.

Also, no where have I said in any post that EVERYONE who resonded to me was not offering their genuine advice. I can tell by a post who's sincere and who's not. Yes, this is a public forum , but I hope we are all adults and not children seeking visas. I also wish you the best on the rest of your journey.

I don't recall ANYONE replying on your thread suggesting that your relationship was a scam. I don't think I've ever seen anyone here in the MENA forums suggest that someone else's MENA relationship was a scam (not in the little time I've been here anyway) You were the one suggesting that evidences could be seen as fabricated. You asked what evidences you thought were sufficient and we told you what we've used in our interviews. You were the one saying "well I've heard that pictures can be seen as fabricated". Same with notarized letters from family and friends.

I don't recall anything like that stated on expats either.

To the OP, I do remember some frustration on the fact that those in VJ were trying to give you advice and you kept discounting it. But from my memory it was stated way more here on VJ than on the other board. In fact, the statement about older woman/younger man was stated here on VJ, as was the doubt that a Christian/Muslim relationship has a strong chance of making it. This was all stated here on VJ.

Just so you know I fit into the category that you are upset about. I know some people doubt that our relationship is real, or that it will last. The way I see it is that so far I have beat the odds. But only time will tell, so why get worked up? Everyone has their opinions, so what? And to be totally honest I think a Christian/Muslim marriage is difficult to overcome the culture differences. I also agree that age differences are suspect. I know that sounds strange coming from me, but it is a fact. Rather than get upset with some very valid opinions why not work towards showing everyone that there are exceptions?

Expats is not an evil place, it is a place people can go that can express their opinions without fear of being suspended. It takes a thick skin to post there, but at least we all know where we stand. If you have something that you want to say to us over there please feel free to sign up and post. Everyone is welcome, the only ones that don't are either not interested in expats, or are too afraid to hear what others really think of them. I don't think anyone over there stated your relationship is fraud, nor do I remember the age/culture difference discussed about you. I don't think anyone over there will attack you. Granted if you are unduly arrogant you might get an earful, but I don't think you qualify as such.

I fit into the same category. I also met my dear husband through a random Skype PM -- seems like I saw that specifically mentioned as a blatant red flag rather recently

As some have suggested, MENA isn't nearly as harsh a place as it was a couple of years ago. I guess in a way, it's sort of like boot camp. Some folks here will take evidence you mention and pick it apart. That may make you angry. It may make you worry (perhaps for the first time) about your chances at the interview. But I can't think of a person here who wants to see someone fail. The ones who use the strongest language tend to try to look at things from the CO's point of view and tell you what they see, especially if they've had to fight the DOS themselves -- much better for them to do that now while you have a chance to do something about it than for you to get a shock at the interview. And they'll only look at what you've told them about, so if you haven't mentioned some evidence you do have, they may jump to a conclusion that may not seem fair. On the other hand, you'll find plenty of shoulders here to lean on as well. There's sort of a continuum here (and I hope this doesn't get me in trouble ) from doom-and-gloom naysayers to realists to idealists to fluffy-kitties-and-rainbows folks, and everything in between. Whatever kind of support you may need, you can usually find someone here to provide it. And if someone offers something that strikes you as especially harsh, unfair, or useless, you can laugh it off, prove them wrong, or block them. I still get stung by a remark from time to time as well, as I mentioned above, but in most cases there really is no offense intended, and I'd rather people be honest with me about what they've seen or experienced. As M4E says, I can always be an exception.

Best wishes, and good luck with your journey.

[tanyakaraman 0]

Wow, I clicked in here thinking someone actually had a question.

[desert_fox 32]

I'm confused...who is old, fat, and ugly

??? (other than me??)

[Sinergy 3]

This whole discussion about fabrication of proof of ongoing relationships seems strange to me, I have never seen in all the years of reading anecdotal evidence here a member reporting the CO suggested their proof was created/fabricated. Naturally I dont read all threads, every thread, but that is a heavy claim that would garner some attention.

Well, i'm not making up that I had read a thread saying their visa was denied, because the CO said, the Fiance had made up the proof of an ongoing relationship. I don't recall what thread it was, but as I said, I believe it wasn't concerning someone in MENA and I thought who better to ask, than MENA themselves if they had gone through it and if so, how did you deal with it. So, no need for it to seem strange as I didn't make it up. Someone I believe said, they saw it to, but it wasn't in MENA.

I do remember that. It was Martiniolive that suspected that the CO thought that her husband had made up their emails. That is the first and only time I have seen this issue on VJ.

I do think you are working yourself up a little too much however. Just take notes from those that have given you good advice. You have a strong case, you have been there to visit many times. That in and of itself is one of the best evidence you could provide. The fact that you don't have a ring should be discussed between you. Not that it will prove fraud, but if you are allergic (I think you said) then he should be prepared to answer that just in case.

From what I am seeing is that you are going through the normal stress that we all go through. The "what if" stress. It gets old on a daily basis thinking of ways to prove your relationship is valid. Just do the best you can, listen to the good advice, and take it one day at a time. One person gave me some very valid advice. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Do what you can to prepare, and then give your mind a break. I think it might take you over the edge if you keep stressing this bad. And I don't mean this as an insult, I mean this from personal experience.

I don't take what you said as an insult, trust me. Am I stressed out.. Heck yea, who wouldn't be. But, I know if I don't ask questions and get answers then I might as well kiss this whole thing goodbye. Am I worried about a ring? Heck no, dang I told him to get the one he wanted and if I had to, i'll go in there with my dang hand red, broke out and swelled so bad they'd call someone to cut the thing off.

Ladies, please those of you who are sincere, know that I am taking what you tell me and trying to learn from it. I have a book with everything I feel is good, honest, and correct information beside here. Also, I know who of you mean good and who doesn't.

This thread is from what has been said to me on VJ and what I read in other threads on VJ. I didn't know we couldn't mention another forum on here. Frankly, I could give a hoot what anyone writes about me on any forum, but what I do find disturbing is a VJ member keeping our pics in photobucket. LoL I knew to keep those pictures of mine private for a reason. Well, i'm outta here and on my way out to eat and to a movie with my daughter.

If there is indeed a thread from expats that you found offensive, and it was brought over here to VJ, then you need to report it. No threads or copy pastes of anything from expats is allowed to brought over here.

The reason expats was made i already stated, and believe it or not, since expats was created, there has been less problems on VJ...other than the few from MENA who go around expats and bring threads and issues back over here to VJ causing drama on VJ that shouldnt have been brought.

Again, if something was said over there and brought over here, report it, it shouldnt be brought here.

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

so basically, what this thread boils down to is much ado about nothing.

[Sinergy 3]

so basically, what this thread boils down to is much ado about nothing.

yep!

[Nothing1234 2]

It's all good but I don't like when threads are like "seagul management". Fly in, poop and fly out. I like clarification...

[~Jackie~ 30]

I just read this whole thread....and I want my 5 minutes back.

just jackie

just an organizer

[Staashi 371]

I just read this whole thread....and I want my 5 minutes back.

just jackie

just an organizer