green card marriages, ladies beware

[childress_london 3]

Education only matters by what kind of education. A bachelors degree in art is not equivalent to a bachelors degree in software engineering. A nurse will make more money than a librarian. Etc. I was surprised to learn after being hired for my current position, that my coworkers (with the same title and grade as me) all had master's degrees and extensive experience and I only have a bachelor's degree with limited experience. Now I'm wondering how I got hired. LOL. I'm attributing it to all to God. However, I'm a big believer in going after your dreams. You never know until you try. I wouldn't have gotten my job had I not had the guts to apply, even though I didn't think I'd get hired. :-) I have similar stories from my life. I could write a book! LOL. Have faith and go for the gold. You might just end up with the silver.

As for France, I've already told my hubby I would love for us to live in France some day. As a matter of fact, if his visa gets denied, maybe we will both go there instead. :-P (Canada is too cold for me.) My mother is French, so I'd have plenty of family there already. I don't know why she ever left that country. I love it. Oh, wait, I forgot...she fell in love with an American!

[Lili 3]

As for France, I agree! I want to go back to my home country but I can't seem to find a job with my american accounting degree. I am just stuck.

I miss the life there. About how people enjoy life and how healthcare is the best! (sorry but there is nothing better than being able to afford health care without signing your first born away)

Hubby wants to move too.

Childress London, your comment about your mother leaving France made me chuckled. lol

[SaadBell 0]

you must like snails

To be honest I HATE SNAILS, my great grandfather came from France the Basque area and raised snails in the backyard in sawdust, nasty stuff. But it is not as bad as blood sausage, just the smell of that will make you pass out.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

But all of these extraordinary requests from the US petitioner are indeed signs that could indicate intent. Most people don't ask for a loved one to go into deep debt just to make them "happy".

I am filing for bankruptcy, I am losing my house, I almost lost my children... God think twice!!!!!

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you, I truly am. But I have to wonder how he got so involved in your finances to drag you that far down.

Its easy to let someone get so involved in ur finances, especially when u think they "LOVE" u, dont ya think ?

Many people use co-mingling of finances to use during AOS, etc. This isn't such a shocker. Especially if one is already cash-strapped add on immigration fees, plane tickets and support while not working.

Its easier than you think...lawyer fees,greencard costs, plane tickets...hotels name it. Then when they get here..maybe things arent working out and the sponsor has an emotional crisis and cannot work like before. This woman may very well have paid for everyones plane tickets....etc.. and then when he got here...who knows how he treated her?

I just feel so sorry for her because I know how easy it is for this to happen, I had no debt when I met him and now I am over 15000 in debt not to mention what emotionally happened to me and I am still not done with the hell.. Its very very very easy for this stuff to happen,...especially if she didnt have a support system. Her kids could have been upset with the relationship. Thats why she almost lost them. The house part could have been her trying to help him start a business or something. She hasnt elaborated and she needs to for people to understand. Marriage alone doesnt pummel you.. its all the dumb stuff you do while married...like open joint accounts, finance trips back home and for family back home that you can t afford etc...I knew one woman who took a second on her house to buy her husband a business and almost lost her home. This is NOT that uncommon. This DOES happen. And other things like buying a house for family back home or an apartment back home etc...to make the spouse happy etc. Its easy to get in a lot of trouble in a heady romance...

You ever hear the term I LOVED HER SO MUCH SHE MADE ME WRITE BAD CHECKS..........hahahahha

[diadromous mermaid 36]

From the general tenor of your posts today, I take it that nothing has changed for the better for you in the last two weeks?

10 year greencard holder... in 5 years and can file on their own...no original spouse needed.

Well Jackie, I think Europeans have a better deal than the US right now. If I married a French person, I d get free nationalised health insurance, a free place to live and a free monthly check no matter what. If you compare the lives of lets say Moroccans who married a French person versus an American and left their spouse eventually, the French deal is much better. A greencard does you no good if you dont want to hold a job and work and make it here. France is a better deal for many people because if you get sick there, you have free insurance and its not that far from mena.

I just sit down and put myself in peoples shoes from overseas and realistically, the US is really for people with dreams of starting their own businesses etc. Its paradise for someone who has a good worth ethic and isnt lazy. Its horrible for someone who just sat around drinking coffee and barely working . Life in the US is NO BED OF ROSES and very hard to adjust to. I just think alot of people overseas hear these tales of guys who went back home and said this place was gravy and threw money around....and they think it will be that way for them.

I stand by my belief that shopping for a wife on the internet is common place and unfortunately, like us.... they dont know what they are getting either ( work wise, stress wise, society wise) I think it takes alot of patience to ride through all the adjustments

[childress_london 3]

you must like snails

To be honest I HATE SNAILS, my great grandfather came from France the Basque area and raised snails in the backyard in sawdust, nasty stuff. But it is not as bad as blood sausage, just the smell of that will make you pass out.

Mmmm....escargot. I like snails now (just a carrier for garlic and butter LOL), but I remember as a child, my mother made escargot. I thought I'd be brave and try one. She put one on my plate (stuffed back into a shell!) and all I could do is stare at it. I couldn't bring myself to try it. However, I did manage to get brave enough to try it later when I was an adult. My mother would tell me stories of how they would go pick snails after the rain, because that is when they would all come out.

Edited January 4, 2009 by childress_london

[Henia 11]

I am sorry for what you are going throu Heartland ... very sad. I will pray for you. But a question: Didn't you live in Jordan with your husband ... and have his children? Sorry maybe I am wrong but usually green card marriages donnot involve living in the SO's country for long periods of time ... and having children. Sorry I did not mean that with any disrespectful ... just seems odd. Good luck anyway.

[Imua 0]

Education only matters by what kind of education. A bachelors degree in art is not equivalent to a bachelors degree in software engineering. A nurse will make more money than a librarian. Etc. I was surprised to learn after being hired for my current position, that my coworkers (with the same title and grade as me) all had master's degrees and extensive experience and I only have a bachelor's degree with limited experience. Now I'm wondering how I got hired. LOL. I'm attributing it to all to God. However, I'm a big believer in going after your dreams. You never know until you try. I wouldn't have gotten my job had I not had the guts to apply, even though I didn't think I'd get hired. :-) I have similar stories from my life. I could write a book! LOL. Have faith and go for the gold. You might just end up with the silver.

As for France, I've already told my hubby I would love for us to live in France some day. As a matter of fact, if his visa gets denied, maybe we will both go there instead. :-P (Canada is too cold for me.) My mother is French, so I'd have plenty of family there already. I don't know why she ever left that country. I love it. Oh, wait, I forgot...she fell in love with an American!

Sadly I learned this the hard way and too late. I am one of those people who scored in the 700s on the verbal SAT and high 400s in the math section. Originally I wanted to study biology, be a microbiologist, epidemiologist, something like that....Unfortunately I could not go beyond high school geometry, have never studied Trig or Calculus so the sciences(even nursing) were impossible for me. If you are not good at math then unless you are very attractive and able to score a rich man who can support you as a housewife (strike one) or have the right connections to get you into an internship at the Met with your degree in Art History and even then you better have a trust fund to survive(strike two), OR have the barracuda/pitbull personality that it takes to not only get a J.D.(what my mom suggested I do) but claw your way up to the top so you don't end up as one of those female J.D.s toiling in the back office making a librarian's salary(three strikes and I'm out).

Honestly, I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I agree with GG that maybe a college degree isn't worth all that much nowadays especially if it is in a non-'hard' subject. With my introverted personality I probably should have gotten into something more hands-on and mechanical but there was a lot of pressure to go to college - now that there are a lot of worthless arts and humanities B.A.s out there working retail with loads of student loan debt I wonder if that will change.

Edited January 4, 2009 by Pattu Rani

[childress_london 3]

Education only matters by what kind of education. A bachelors degree in art is not equivalent to a bachelors degree in software engineering. A nurse will make more money than a librarian. Etc. I was surprised to learn after being hired for my current position, that my coworkers (with the same title and grade as me) all had master's degrees and extensive experience and I only have a bachelor's degree with limited experience. Now I'm wondering how I got hired. LOL. I'm attributing it to all to God. However, I'm a big believer in going after your dreams. You never know until you try. I wouldn't have gotten my job had I not had the guts to apply, even though I didn't think I'd get hired. :-) I have similar stories from my life. I could write a book! LOL. Have faith and go for the gold. You might just end up with the silver.

As for France, I've already told my hubby I would love for us to live in France some day. As a matter of fact, if his visa gets denied, maybe we will both go there instead. :-P (Canada is too cold for me.) My mother is French, so I'd have plenty of family there already. I don't know why she ever left that country. I love it. Oh, wait, I forgot...she fell in love with an American!

Sadly I learned this the hard way and too late. I am one of those people who scored in the 700s on the verbal SAT and high 400s in the math section. Originally I wanted to study biology, be a microbiologist, epidemiologist, something like that....Unfortunately I could not go beyond high school geometry, have never studied Trig or Calculus so the sciences(even nursing) were impossible for me. If you are not good at math then unless you are very attractive and able to score a rich man who can support you as a housewife (strike one) or have the right connections to get you into an internship at the Met with your degree in Art History and even then you better have a trust fund to survive(strike two), OR have the barracuda/pitbull personality that it takes to not only get a J.D.(what my mom suggested I do) but claw your way up to the top so you don't end up as one of those female J.D.s toiling in the back office making a librarian's salary(three strikes and I'm out).

Honestly, I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I agree with GG that maybe a college degree isn't worth all that much nowadays especially if it is in a non-'hard' subject. With my introverted personality I probably should have gotten into something more hands-on and mechanical but there was a lot of pressure to go to college - now that there are a lot of worthless arts and humanities B.A.s out there working retail with loads of student loan debt I wonder if that will change.

Even though a degree may seem worthless, I have noticed that a majority of jobs require one now where before a high school diploma would have sufficed. Sometimes it doesn't really matter what your degree is in, just that you have one! LOL. It's the experience that actually gets you hired. But then there's the catch-22 - how do you get your foot in the door to get that experience? I have found taking jobs that you think are beneath you, but in the company you want to work for, is a good way to get the job you want eventually. That way you get to know those responsible for the hiring of the positions you want. Networking, networking, networking. Meanwhile, you bust your a** at that little no nothing job and impress everyone around you with your brilliance.

[star_dragon 0]

Even though a degree may seem worthless, I have noticed that a majority of jobs require one now where before a high school diploma would have sufficed. Sometimes it doesn't really matter what your degree is in, just that you have one! LOL. It's the experience that actually gets you hired. But then there's the catch-22 - how do you get your foot in the door to get that experience? I have found taking jobs that you think are beneath you, but in the company you want to work for, is a good way to get the job you want eventually. That way you get to know those responsible for the hiring of the positions you want. Networking, networking, networking. Meanwhile, you bust your a** at that little no nothing job and impress everyone around you with your brilliance.

That's what I'm finding - that it doesn't even matter what your degree is in, just that you have one. That's how it works at my job - not for the professional positions, those require the MLS, but for the para-professional jobs, they require ANY bachelors degree.

[childress_london 3]

Even though a degree may seem worthless, I have noticed that a majority of jobs require one now where before a high school diploma would have sufficed. Sometimes it doesn't really matter what your degree is in, just that you have one! LOL. It's the experience that actually gets you hired. But then there's the catch-22 - how do you get your foot in the door to get that experience? I have found taking jobs that you think are beneath you, but in the company you want to work for, is a good way to get the job you want eventually. That way you get to know those responsible for the hiring of the positions you want. Networking, networking, networking. Meanwhile, you bust your a** at that little no nothing job and impress everyone around you with your brilliance.

That's what I'm finding - that it doesn't even matter what your degree is in, just that you have one. That's how it works at my job - not for the professional positions, those require the MLS, but for the para-professional jobs, they require ANY bachelors degree.

Yeah...the hard part is accepting a job that has NOTHING to do with your degree or original intention for a career. LOL.

[Zee Bee 61]

Sadly I learned this the hard way and too late. I am one of those people who scored in the 700s on the verbal SAT and high 400s in the math section. Originally I wanted to study biology, be a microbiologist, epidemiologist, something like that....Unfortunately I could not go beyond high school geometry, have never studied Trig or Calculus so the sciences(even nursing) were impossible for me. If you are not good at math then unless you are very attractive and able to score a rich man who can support you as a housewife (strike one) or have the right connections to get you into an internship at the Met with your degree in Art History and even then you better have a trust fund to survive(strike two), OR have the barracuda/pitbull personality that it takes to not only get a J.D.(what my mom suggested I do) but claw your way up to the top so you don't end up as one of those female J.D.s toiling in the back office making a librarian's salary(three strikes and I'm out).

Honestly, I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I agree with GG that maybe a college degree isn't worth all that much nowadays especially if it is in a non-'hard' subject. With my introverted personality I probably should have gotten into something more hands-on and mechanical but there was a lot of pressure to go to college - now that there are a lot of worthless arts and humanities B.A.s out there working retail with loads of student loan debt I wonder if that will change.

That's me

[Imua 0]

Sadly I learned this the hard way and too late. I am one of those people who scored in the 700s on the verbal SAT and high 400s in the math section. Originally I wanted to study biology, be a microbiologist, epidemiologist, something like that....Unfortunately I could not go beyond high school geometry, have never studied Trig or Calculus so the sciences(even nursing) were impossible for me. If you are not good at math then unless you are very attractive and able to score a rich man who can support you as a housewife (strike one) or have the right connections to get you into an internship at the Met with your degree in Art History and even then you better have a trust fund to survive(strike two), OR have the barracuda/pitbull personality that it takes to not only get a J.D.(what my mom suggested I do) but claw your way up to the top so you don't end up as one of those female J.D.s toiling in the back office making a librarian's salary(three strikes and I'm out).

Honestly, I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I agree with GG that maybe a college degree isn't worth all that much nowadays especially if it is in a non-'hard' subject. With my introverted personality I probably should have gotten into something more hands-on and mechanical but there was a lot of pressure to go to college - now that there are a lot of worthless arts and humanities B.A.s out there working retail with loads of student loan debt I wonder if that will change.

That's me

Lucky - sounds like a fascinating job

[Y's_habibitk 2]

I am sorry for what you are going throu Heartland ... very sad. I will pray for you. But a question: Didn't you live in Jordan with your husband ... and have his children? Sorry maybe I am wrong but usually green card marriages donnot involve living in the SO's country for long periods of time ... and having children. Sorry I did not mean that with any disrespectful ... just seems odd. Good luck anyway.

I was thinking the same thing.

[amal 4]

where's the op?