green card marriages, ladies beware

[Ihavequestions 419]

The 5 year plan refers to the 5 years that it takes to become a citizen rather than just have a greencard. When you remain married for 3 years, the foreign spouse can file for citizenship and get it faster than just with a greencard ( without marriage takes 5 years sometimes even longer) With a citizenship, they dont abandon their residency if they go overseas for 6 months or more and they are able to sponsor a spouse as well as family. The reason many are waiting for citizenship or AKA the 5 year plan is become many have learned that you just cant do a hell of alot with a greencard alone. You still have to have visas. You cant take advantage of many us programs...and the biggest thing is you cant help family back home by bringing them here..Bottom line.. Which apparently her husband took advantage of by bringing his child here..

Doesn't the immigrant have to live with their US spouse in the US for three years, not just be married to their US spouse for three years, in order to apply for citizenship?

[~Jackie~ 30]

10 year greencard holder... in 5 years and can file on their own...no original spouse needed.

Edited January 3, 2009 by just_Jackie

[SaadBell 0]

Money wise my husband has more assets than myself, I have student loans and over drawn credit cards, yea he picked a winner when he picked me. So either way I will come out of this marriage if it goes south, either better or the same. I am a broke intern and he thinks that my education is important, maybe I will finally make some money in a few years, but it will take some time to build up a practice and make money that will at least let me contribute something. I do kinda feel guilty my husband could of married a women who had at least some assets, but he found me and well I am dead poor. So if he is marring me for a green card he is damn sure paying a nice price for it. I wish I would have a win fall of at least $50,000 or more, I would have a damn good time. They tell you that the more education you have the better off you will be, WELL THAT IS ONE BIG FAT LIE, I should have went and did something else, like a hairdresser, I always love that kind of thing, coloring hair, styling, but after all these years of school my family might have a big problem with this. Hell even a garbage man makes damn good money and here I am broke and laden with student loans and older residents riding my butt. Ok I am done with my moaning and groaning, but if you want to contribute to this poor person, bring it on. lol For the OP, hang in there, I just wish I could take your loser husband with me to LA and dress him in some gang colors and let him try to get out of south central with out getting killed. Oh the dreams I have.

[Imua 0]

Money wise my husband has more assets than myself, I have student loans and over drawn credit cards, yea he picked a winner when he picked me. So either way I will come out of this marriage if it goes south, either better or the same. I am a broke intern and he thinks that my education is important, maybe I will finally make some money in a few years, but it will take some time to build up a practice and make money that will at least let me contribute something. I do kinda feel guilty my husband could of married a women who had at least some assets, but he found me and well I am dead poor. So if he is marring me for a green card he is damn sure paying a nice price for it. I wish I would have a win fall of at least $50,000 or more, I would have a damn good time. They tell you that the more education you have the better off you will be, WELL THAT IS ONE BIG FAT LIE, I should have went and did something else, like a hairdresser, I always love that kind of thing, coloring hair, styling, but after all these years of school my family might have a big problem with this. Hell even a garbage man makes damn good money and here I am broke and laden with student loans and older residents riding my butt. Ok I am done with my moaning and groaning, but if you want to contribute to this poor person, bring it on. lol For the OP, hang in there, I just wish I could take your loser husband with me to LA and dress him in some gang colors and let him try to get out of south central with out getting killed. Oh the dreams I have.

I agree with you about the education lie - I have 2 masters', can get by in 4 languages and can't even afford to rent a walkup sh!tbox in any of the 5 boros and still have enough left over for any kind of life. At least I went to a crappy state school where tution was $1000 per semester and lived at home, got merit-based tuition remission from soph through senior year, got a full fellowship for MA#1 at Columbia and worked my way through MLIS(studying part-time), so I don't have a dime in student loans. Still if I knew I was going to be poor I should have at least gone the TEFL route and been able to travel....

[JanaknJanet 0]

Money wise my husband has more assets than myself, I have student loans and over drawn credit cards, yea he picked a winner when he picked me. So either way I will come out of this marriage if it goes south, either better or the same. I am a broke intern and he thinks that my education is important, maybe I will finally make some money in a few years, but it will take some time to build up a practice and make money that will at least let me contribute something. I do kinda feel guilty my husband could of married a women who had at least some assets, but he found me and well I am dead poor. So if he is marring me for a green card he is damn sure paying a nice price for it. I wish I would have a win fall of at least $50,000 or more, I would have a damn good time. They tell you that the more education you have the better off you will be, WELL THAT IS ONE BIG FAT LIE, I should have went and did something else, like a hairdresser, I always love that kind of thing, coloring hair, styling, but after all these years of school my family might have a big problem with this. Hell even a garbage man makes damn good money and here I am broke and laden with student loans and older residents riding my butt. Ok I am done with my moaning and groaning, but if you want to contribute to this poor person, bring it on. lol For the OP, hang in there, I just wish I could take your loser husband with me to LA and dress him in some gang colors and let him try to get out of south central with out getting killed. Oh the dreams I have.

I agree with you about the education lie - I have 2 masters', can get by in 4 languages and can't even afford to rent a walkup sh!tbox in any of the 5 boros and still have enough left over for any kind of life. At least I went to a crappy state school where tution was $1000 per semester and lived at home, got merit-based tuition remission from soph through senior year, got a full fellowship for MA#1 at Columbia and worked my way through MLIS(studying part-time), so I don't have a dime in student loans. Still if I knew I was going to be poor I should have at least gone the TEFL route and been able to travel....

Totally agree with all that is said here... ..

If anyone was to be using me for a "GC" or anyother belongings I might have or acquire... .. stand in line with Uncle SAM and SallieMae... ... at age 34 i returned to College.. from the beginning.. 8 yrs later.. Masters degree Oriental Medicine.. but student loans .. payments more than I make .. .. I have my own practice... nothing compared to Western Medicine.. .. until our Medical Insurance situation changes here in USA.. I will still be scraping by.. .. I love what I do.. and if i was in it for the money i would not have the gift I have..

Needless to say.. one looking for a fast way would not be coming here to USA to someone with nothing...

It is more of what one is made of... money.. is a small part.. look to the heart.. that is what one is .. .. if one can withstand the struggles and still be standing.. that says more to me than any dollar or gc or "thing" ever could.

My gift if my lifes purpose was... is to be able to gift my children with the knowlege that one can survive without having to do the norm.. do what is in your heart... be happy.. a "MAN" and the "MOST MONEY is not it... only you can make your own destiny.. therefore make your happiness.. ..

Until that happens... nothing else will fall into place..

I

[Staashi 371]

The 5 year plan refers to the 5 years that it takes to become a citizen rather than just have a greencard. When you remain married for 3 years, the foreign spouse can file for citizenship and get it faster than just with a greencard ( without marriage takes 5 years sometimes even longer) With a citizenship, they dont abandon their residency if they go overseas for 6 months or more and they are able to sponsor a spouse as well as family. The reason many are waiting for citizenship or AKA the 5 year plan is become many have learned that you just cant do a hell of alot with a greencard alone. You still have to have visas. You cant take advantage of many us programs...and the biggest thing is you cant help family back home by bringing them here..Bottom line.. Which apparently her husband took advantage of by bringing his child here..

Doesn't the immigrant have to live with their US spouse in the US for three years, not just be married to their US spouse for three years, in order to apply for citizenship?

Marriage-based citizenship applications are when the immigrant/LPR has to have a held a valid GC and lived within the US for 3 years - 90 days to apply. They have to be married to the USC for at least 3 years, and that USC has to have been a USC for at least 3 years as well. They also have to be living in a valid marital union - without any issues of separation, divorce or widowing. One other thing to know, if an LPR goes to his/her naturalization interview or oath ceremony and their marriage is not in good standing, their N-400 will be denied, and they'll have to reapply as a 5-year LPR.

[SaadBell 0]

You all made me feel so much better, I feel ya, my daughter just got her bachelors at Florida university and she landed a wonderful job at Kohls, hey I am jealous at least she has a job. The people she works with are just like us, full of education, makes one sick on their stomach. These days my dream job would be Anthony Bourdain job, traveling all over the world, partying and eating, damn that is sweet, wonder how I could get that job. The guy lives the life of dreams, and of course I watch it all the time and wonder, why why why, I want that job, I love traveling and parting and eating, I am very good at eating and partying. I have my last rotation this summer, I am sure I will be stuck in some mental ward hospital treating freaking depression and bi-polar, not that I mind, it just that is not what I want to do, but of course with my luck and I HAVE NO LUCK, I will be stuck treating the regular #######, never to see anything mind blowing. Ok done with my sorry for myself moment, on to watch Anthony and his wonderful life that I yes envy. PLEASE SOMEONE MEDICATE ME

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

10 year greencard holder... in 5 years and can file on their own...no original spouse needed.

Well Jackie, I think Europeans have a better deal than the US right now. If I married a French person, I d get free nationalised health insurance, a free place to live and a free monthly check no matter what. If you compare the lives of lets say Moroccans who married a French person versus an American and left their spouse eventually, the French deal is much better. A greencard does you no good if you dont want to hold a job and work and make it here. France is a better deal for many people because if you get sick there, you have free insurance and its not that far from mena.

I just sit down and put myself in peoples shoes from overseas and realistically, the US is really for people with dreams of starting their own businesses etc. Its paradise for someone who has a good worth ethic and isnt lazy. Its horrible for someone who just sat around drinking coffee and barely working . Life in the US is NO BED OF ROSES and very hard to adjust to. I just think alot of people overseas hear these tales of guys who went back home and said this place was gravy and threw money around....and they think it will be that way for them.

I stand by my belief that shopping for a wife on the internet is common place and unfortunately, like us.... they dont know what they are getting either ( work wise, stress wise, society wise) I think it takes alot of patience to ride through all the adjustments

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Hanging in there should be here, hope she is OK...

I remember her saying that she also knows a lot of MENA couples and also warns people that a lot are fraudulent, but at the same time she also said she knows of many couples where the man is sincere and has stayed after getting the GC, even if the woman is older(too old to have kids).

I have had these issues come up time and time again in my mind and ultimately it is just my own insecurities speaking - if I were to walk away at this point I would never know if he was for real and possibly give up the best man I could ever love... yes he is not MENA, we did not meet on the Net but our relationship has a similar age gap and is going against cultural norms... still he has never given me reason to doubt him and his family is very accepting of me - of course they could all be in on the scam but once you start thinking that way you might as well never take a chance on anything until you die without ever really having lived. His intentions could be real and my constant suspicion could be the thing that pushes him away-self-fulfilling prophecy. I have had a lot of 'well-meaning' people including my own grandmother telling me he is only out for a GC without ever meeting him. Should I really listen to them - I don't think so.

I think each situation is different Patti and I have a very different perspective because I have been around the local mena community for over 8 years and my 4 year old is arab and I have daily interaction with people from mena ( that I am not married to hehehe) What is hard for me to get over is the constant American bashing ( covert) that goes on with alot of mena people. I have literally had a moroccan girlfriend of mine tell me I am arab now because I have been around them alot ( literally translated by um....being physically abused by both long term arab partners I have had complete with black eye and knots on my head... and yes she witnessed this) She was so "proud" of me for not being like those evil american women who call 911. My point is that each situation is going to have its own dynamic. A highly educated career oriented arabic man who speaks English fluently will adapt to the USA alot better than some guy from the ghetto "hittist" is what they call them in North Africa who stands with his back against the wall,smoking drinking coffee and hanging out in an internet cafe fishing for a foreign wife. Each situation will be very different and each outcome will be different.

ps I married a hittist.. I knew better and frankly I deserved almost everything I got for being a dumbass.. sorry but it true..LOL

[Nothing1234 2]

I am filing for bankruptcy, I am losing my house, I almost lost my children... God think twice!!!!!

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you, I truly am. But I have to wonder how he got so involved in your finances to drag you that far down.

Its easy to let someone get so involved in ur finances, especially when u think they "LOVE" u, dont ya think ?

I agree...and when you are supposed to "show" your living your life together for AOS purposes etc...how can you not get your finances mingled? I think everyone should have their own savings but you still need to have finances, bills and such mingled.

[Imua 0]

10 year greencard holder... in 5 years and can file on their own...no original spouse needed.

Well Jackie, I think Europeans have a better deal than the US right now. If I married a French person, I d get free nationalised health insurance, a free place to live and a free monthly check no matter what. If you compare the lives of lets say Moroccans who married a French person versus an American and left their spouse eventually, the French deal is much better. A greencard does you no good if you dont want to hold a job and work and make it here. France is a better deal for many people because if you get sick there, you have free insurance and its not that far from mena.

I just sit down and put myself in peoples shoes from overseas and realistically, the US is really for people with dreams of starting their own businesses etc. Its paradise for someone who has a good worth ethic and isnt lazy. Its horrible for someone who just sat around drinking coffee and barely working . Life in the US is NO BED OF ROSES and very hard to adjust to. I just think alot of people overseas hear these tales of guys who went back home and said this place was gravy and threw money around....and they think it will be that way for them.

I stand by my belief that shopping for a wife on the internet is common place and unfortunately, like us.... they dont know what they are getting either ( work wise, stress wise, society wise) I think it takes alot of patience to ride through all the adjustments

My ex abandoned his plan on using me for a green card after talking to some friends who said we 'work like slaves here'... I wonder if he'll try to marry a German or French tourist - poor girl...

[SaadBell 0]

Totally the French have it good I would marry a French man if I wasn't already married, I could live like that, they live good, and they don't work them selfs to death. Plus free health care, good food, Sign me up for that one.

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

Totally the French have it good I would marry a French man if I wasn't already married, I could live like that, they live good, and they don't work them selfs to death. Plus free health care, good food, Sign me up for that one.

you must like snails

[tnh9479 1]

The 5 year plan refers to the 5 years that it takes to become a citizen rather than just have a greencard. When you remain married for 3 years, the foreign spouse can file for citizenship and get it faster than just with a greencard ( without marriage takes 5 years sometimes even longer) With a citizenship, they dont abandon their residency if they go overseas for 6 months or more and they are able to sponsor a spouse as well as family. The reason many are waiting for citizenship or AKA the 5 year plan is become many have learned that you just cant do a hell of alot with a greencard alone. You still have to have visas. You cant take advantage of many us programs...and the biggest thing is you cant help family back home by bringing them here..Bottom line.. Which apparently her husband took advantage of by bringing his child here..

Doesn't the immigrant have to live with their US spouse in the US for three years, not just be married to their US spouse for three years, in order to apply for citizenship?

It is 3 years from when they received their greencard by marriage that they are eligible to apply for naturalization.

[morocco4ever 63]

If you compare the lives of lets say Moroccans who married a French person versus an American and left their spouse eventually, the French deal is much better. A greencard does you no good if you dont want to hold a job and work and make it here. France is a better deal for many people because if you get sick there, you have free insurance and its not that far from mena.

I'll make sure to tell my husband how he screwed up.