green card marriages, ladies beware

[~Jackie~ 30]

Amal I also will not forget your generous hospitality during Eid'07. I started that ramadan at Dawn & Hatems house and ended ramadan with you and Noor. I don't know how I would have gotten thru it all without my friends.

Discussing greencard marriages is not popular or pleasant. It really sucks when bad things happen to good people.

Thank you Amal for being non-judgemental and for being such a good friend to many. It is truly the 'behind the scenes/off the forum' friendships that are everlasting and I love all of you that helped get me thru the tough times.

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

jackie

i am curious about something though. why is the op filing for bankruptcy and losing her house? what did the husband do to bring that on?

[Y's_habibitk 2]

and almost losing the children?

[LilLoveBug 0]

On a lighter note...I think this website is starting to give me a complex!!! I just walked into the kitchen, while my man was cooking me a late night dinner (I am in Vietnam now with him) and I say, point blank, "are you using me for an American green-card?"

He looks at me like this: , starts laughing, and then says, "Will you stop reading that f***ing Visa Journey site!"

He just came over to the computer while I was eating my meal and said, in addition, "By the way, what's a greencard?" LOL.

My best to all the ladies...

Bug

[morocco4ever 63]

but the only thing I would change about this process is that somehow we could spend more time with them BEFORE we have to run back home to the U.S.

This statement is so true. Unfortunately not always possible. We could know so much more about them and their intentions if we could be together more, to see how they are going to act. But since in many cases it isn't feasible I would make sure to watch closely how hard they attempt to spend time with you online. Give them a little rope and see if they hang themselves. Yes, I tested him. Some say this is wrong, but before I opened my heart to him I wanted to be sure. I would not get online to talk to him just to see if he would persue me. A man that isn't that into you is going to take every opportunity they can to not be "stuck" online with you.

My husbands friend, that was married to a Canadian, would tell his wife that he was going to go to sleep. He would then pause the webcam and take off. #######??? And he didn't move for hours while he slept? Watch for the signs. As far as this man, we don't really know what happened with the visa and his wife, but he was married long before my husband and I have been, and he is still in Morocco. So either she figured it out and dumped him, or he was denied the visa. Right on! I hope his wife has been able to move on in life.

But as we all know, some are very good actors. Dear Jackie knows that better than anyone. And for him to say that she wasn't Muslim enough is an excuse he has prepared to say all along. Jackie took this with class and dignity, and has come out of this with her self intact. No need for revenge, just moved on in life.

To the OP, God knows what is in a persons heart, and no amount of blaming the other person is going to cover up that fact that he used you for a visa. God's punishment is by far worse than anything we could possibly do. But our best revenge would be success. So here is to your success in your future.

[Dakine 26]

Hello Ladies,

I want to talk to you about something serious... Internet dating. I have made many friends from on here...MANY! Out of all these marriages from the middle eastern marriages I know of ONE that is real. Where the man did not marry for the green card. I know I know I said, oh my husband didnt do that!!! But trust me , he did.

Please think twice before marriage.

I am filing for bankruptcy, I am losing my house, I almost lost my children... God think twice!!!!!

I pray that any of you who even question ONCE that he may be marrying for the wrong reasons... think about it. Marriages where they marry an older woman is a HUGE red flag. Sorry ladies, but it is true.

Good luck

Certainly would not apply to anyone on V-J, as their relationships are different.

Hahhahahahaha! The lady posting is on VJ!

[SaadBell 0]

Hahhahahahaha! The lady posting is on VJ!

What is this about, not sure I understand, I certainly hope you are not laughing at someone's pain.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

On a lighter note...I think this website is starting to give me a complex!!! I just walked into the kitchen, while my man was cooking me a late night dinner (I am in Vietnam now with him) and I say, point blank, "are you using me for an American green-card?"

He looks at me like this: , starts laughing, and then says, "Will you stop reading that f***ing Visa Journey site!"

He just came over to the computer while I was eating my meal and said, in addition, "By the way, what's a greencard?" LOL.

My best to all the ladies...

Bug

thats hilarious!

[morocco4ever 63]

Hahhahahahaha! The lady posting is on VJ!

What is this about, not sure I understand, I certainly hope you are not laughing at someone's pain.

It appears that some people get a good laugh when a woman gets used by an MENA man for a green card. Totally not cool, and uncalled for. Shame on you!

[Y's_habibitk 2]

My husbands friend, that was married to a Canadian, would tell his wife that he was going to go to sleep. He would then pause the webcam and take off. #######??? And he didn't move for hours while he slept? Watch for the signs.

Im trying to picture how he laid in bed and then reached up and paused the cam...he would be paused in the action of pausing...

I get the point though

i think everyone has done some testing at some point. my husband told me not long ago that he "tested" me early on as well. lol

The bottomline is unless they come out and say "thanks for the GC,sucker!", how would you know for sure? I guess its a natural and easy assumption to say that it was all planned out from the beginning.

Eveyone who has already filed and made their decisions has had to wiegh the negatives. If they choose to ignore red flags or warning signs and move forward, that is on them.

If they are blindsided, Im sorry for that and it is truley sad.

But, posting that the majority or "all but one" of the mena wives/fiances is getting used does not help anyone, imo.

Before anyone comes to say anything...yes, I know it happens.

Im really am sorry for anyone that it happens to,I feel for them...I wish them great things and healing in their future.

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

Hello Ladies,

I want to talk to you about something serious... Internet dating. I have made many friends from on here...MANY! Out of all these marriages from the middle eastern marriages I know of ONE that is real. Where the man did not marry for the green card. I know I know I said, oh my husband didnt do that!!! But trust me , he did.

Please think twice before marriage.

I am filing for bankruptcy, I am losing my house, I almost lost my children... God think twice!!!!!

I pray that any of you who even question ONCE that he may be marrying for the wrong reasons... think about it. Marriages where they marry an older woman is a HUGE red flag. Sorry ladies, but it is true.

Good luck

Certainly would not apply to anyone on V-J, as their relationships are different.

Hahhahahahaha! The lady posting is on VJ!

did you miss the sarcasm alert?

[Jenn! 918]

Hahhahahahaha! The lady posting is on VJ!

What is this about, not sure I understand, I certainly hope you are not laughing at someone's pain.

It appears that some people get a good laugh when a woman gets used by an MENA man for a green card. Totally not cool, and uncalled for. Shame on you!

In Haole's defense, I believe the response was to show desert_fox that his assertion is clearly false. However, as charles noted, Haole did not realize desert_fox's post was entirely tongue-in-cheek.

[morocco4ever 63]

Eveyone who has already filed and made their decisions has had to wiegh the negatives. If they choose to ignore red flags or warning signs and move forward, that is on them.

If they are blindsided, Im sorry for that and it is truley sad.

But, posting that the majority or "all but one" of the mena wives/fiances is getting used does not help anyone, imo.

This is kind of what I was trying to say. If you have reached the point to start the visa journey your mind is already made up. Some are valid, some of the woman have the signs, but have already chosen to ignore them, and some have been totally bamboozled. The message is important, but it's a shame that it isn't addressed before they get to this point.

BTW Lisa, congratulations on your approval. I see that you are chosing the K-3 route. I understand why, but now after the fact I would go the extra few months and get the CR1. Of course at one point I would have done the same...lol

Hahhahahahaha! The lady posting is on VJ!

What is this about, not sure I understand, I certainly hope you are not laughing at someone's pain.

It appears that some people get a good laugh when a woman gets used by an MENA man for a green card. Totally not cool, and uncalled for. Shame on you!

In Haole's defense, I believe the response was to show desert_fox that his assertion is clearly false. However, as charles noted, Haole did not realize desert_fox's post was entirely tongue-in-cheek.

I guess my comment appeared to be about Haole, but in actuality it was directed to desert fox. He thrives on this. How heartless a person must be to make this situation into a sarcastic joke.

[Dakine 26]

Hahhahahahaha! The lady posting is on VJ!

What is this about, not sure I understand, I certainly hope you are not laughing at someone's pain.

Certainly would not apply to anyone on V-J, as their relationships are different.

Sorry if you misunderstood. I'm laughing at this poster saying NO ONE on VJ has the problem the OP does. The OP is on VJ!!!

Guarens there are MANY other ladies having the same problem. I've seen a LOT myself!

[Y's_habibitk 2]

This is kind of what I was trying to say. If you have reached the point to start the visa journey your mind is already made up. Some are valid, some of the woman have the signs, but have already chosen to ignore them, and some have been totally bamboozled. The message is important, but it's a shame that it isn't addressed before they get to this point.

BTW Lisa, congratulations on your approval. I see that you are chosing the K-3 route. I understand why, but now after the fact I would go the extra few months and get the CR1. Of course at one point I would have done the same...lol

Thank you. Yes, we'll just deal with AOS. We're both too anxious lol