green card marriages, ladies beware

[Tunisia216 2]

Need not be afraid.... charles 2009 comes with quite the effective leash

Sister Len, when did that upgrade come out? Potty trained too? :dance: ( I Just had that line from "Big Daddy" come in my head where the little boy Julian yells "But I wipe my own ### !! hehe )

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Need not be afraid.... charles 2009 comes with quite the effective leash

Sister Len, when did that upgrade come out? Potty trained too? :dance: ( I Just had that line from "Big Daddy" come in my head where the little boy Julian yells "But I wipe my own ### !! hehe )

Nope. We have not advanced that far

But there are talks of inserting a Democrat PROBE

[Tunisia216 2]

Need not be afraid.... charles 2009 comes with quite the effective leash

Sister Len, when did that upgrade come out? Potty trained too? :dance: ( I Just had that line from "Big Daddy" come in my head where the little boy Julian yells "But I wipe my own ### !! hehe )

Nope. We have not advanced that far

But there are talks of inserting a Democrat PROBE

Have I ever said that Nessa is my hero? Bless her soul!!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Need not be afraid.... charles 2009 comes with quite the effective leash

Sister Len, when did that upgrade come out? Potty trained too? :dance: ( I Just had that line from "Big Daddy" come in my head where the little boy Julian yells "But I wipe my own ### !! hehe )

Nope. We have not advanced that far

But there are talks of inserting a Democrat PROBE

Have I ever said that Nessa is my hero? Bless her soul!!

Sister Nessa is a brave one!!!

[~Jackie~ 30]

Wendy, if you come back to read this, I care and I am here if you want to talk.

Jackie

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

Need not be afraid.... charles 2009 comes with quite the effective leash

Sister Len, when did that upgrade come out? Potty trained too? :dance: ( I Just had that line from "Big Daddy" come in my head where the little boy Julian yells "But I wipe my own ### !! hehe )

Nope. We have not advanced that far

But there are talks of inserting a Democrat PROBE

i don't live in california.

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

Is it the back hair, the fact that he requests we save our large vomit chunks for him, or the Republican thing?

OMG, you're right. Not to mention the guns and ammo....Maybe I should be afraid of him.

who shall we start a war with?

[star_dragon 0]

Is it the back hair, the fact that he requests we save our large vomit chunks for him, or the Republican thing?

OMG, you're right. Not to mention the guns and ammo....Maybe I should be afraid of him.

who shall we start a war with?

[Nothing1234 2]

No fair! I want a gun!

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

No fair! I want a gun!

first, do you hug trees?

[KHPerfectMatch 1]

This group is not tight knit. Its just like an A A meeting. You might not see yourself in any of the posts or situations yet, but keep coming back. I was SURE no one knew what they were talking about ...post arrival etc. They do. Keep coming back and posting and reading. Your fiancee is not here yet. You have not adjusted status.. There is alot more coming honey and some may be good and somethings bad and somethings in between... There is tons you can learn from the boards so keep reading and remember the real adventure begins when they get here...not while you are kissing and vacactioning over there. The real life starts when they come here, adjust , get their greencard etc.

You will benefit alot from the boards.. Hang in there

You took most of the words right out of my mouth... I see the AA Mtg. comparison all over the place... and as they say, Take what you like and leave the rest... Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.. God grant us ALL Serenity....

I guess it's hard for me to see red flags all over the place and know that I'm going to be considered negative or pessimistic (or mean) because I'm one who is willing to acknowledge their existence. It's much easier to pretend that I can't see them, but feels really swarmy if I did.

I've said 20 times since going on this "Visa Journey" that the process of getting the Visa is like being pregnant (has different stages, seems like it lasts forever, extremely uncomfortable, filled with horror stories of other's experiences, no two alike, and makes you want to eat alot and sleep alot and you never know exactly when it will end)... but when they get here, it's like having a new dependent to care for and guide and comfort and you have to change your way of doing things and sometimes you lose friends over it, and it can get even more expensive as the years go by... The next 18-21 years can make the first 9 months seem like a walk in the park... (should it last that long)...

Something I can never figure out is why American women think that relationships that aren't considered "average" or at least "likely to succeed" by American cultural standards, (mixed race, mixed culture, mixed religion, step-families, women significantly older than the men, or to a lesser degree, in the USA, women beyond child bearing age with men who have no children) and are considered, extremely improbable, laughable, or outright ridiculous by MENA standards, shouldn't be questioned by friends and family members of BOTH cultures...

Maybe they just don't know how they are perceived by MENA standards... I'm sure their SO isn't going to tell them, except to elicit sympathy from them (I loved you against all odds...)

Regardless of my suspicions I'll be the first one to cheer when a couple "beats the odds", "does it THEIR Way" and overcomes their differences and live happily ever after. I HONESTLY believe that there are VERY VERY FEW people (women on MENA in particular) who want to see ANYONE's marriage fail.

I think that as long as two adults are equally informed and aware of the risks of the choices they make, then MORE POWER TO THEM... It's the kids and step-kids I feel so badly for.. and for the USC women (typically) who take much bigger risks (proportinately) and have fewer chances to recoup their losses, or start over again if a break-up occurs. (Remember that affadavit of support doesn't end if there is a divorce, it's citizenship for him, 10 years, or him leaving the USA forever to get you off the hook...)

I remember my Wali in Egypt reminding me over and over that (Egyptian) men don't value marriage that comes to them without putting forth great effort and sacrifice on their part. That I needed to make sure that my husband did both. This was difficult for me to do, being from an "equal partnership" culture. But I took his advice to heart and let my husband make those sacrifices and I'd highly recommend it to anyone involved in a MENA relationship, particularly with Egyptians. (don't know much about other NA cultures..)

Just my 2 piasters...

[Nothing1234 2]

No fair! I want a gun!

first, do you hug trees?

No tree hugging! It's toooo granola for me!

[Aymsgirl 0]

You took most of the words right out of my mouth... I see the AA Mtg. comparison all over the place... and as they say, Take what you like and leave the rest... Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.. God grant us ALL Serenity....

I guess it's hard for me to see red flags all over the place and know that I'm going to be considered negative or pessimistic (or mean) because I'm one who is willing to acknowledge their existence. It's much easier to pretend that I can't see them, but feels really swarmy if I did.

I've said 20 times since going on this "Visa Journey" that the process of getting the Visa is like being pregnant (has different stages, seems like it lasts forever, extremely uncomfortable, filled with horror stories of other's experiences, no two alike, and makes you want to eat alot and sleep alot and you never know exactly when it will end)... but when they get here, it's like having a new dependent to care for and guide and comfort and you have to change your way of doing things and sometimes you lose friends over it, and it can get even more expensive as the years go by... The next 18-21 years can make the first 9 months seem like a walk in the park... (should it last that long)...

Something I can never figure out is why American women think that relationships that aren't considered "average" or at least "likely to succeed" by American cultural standards, (mixed race, mixed culture, mixed religion, step-families, women significantly older than the men, or to a lesser degree, in the USA, women beyond child bearing age with men who have no children) and are considered, extremely improbable, laughable, or outright ridiculous by MENA standards, shouldn't be questioned by friends and family members of BOTH cultures...

Maybe they just don't know how they are perceived by MENA standards... I'm sure their SO isn't going to tell them, except to elicit sympathy from them (I loved you against all odds...)

Regardless of my suspicions I'll be the first one to cheer when a couple "beats the odds", "does it THEIR Way" and overcomes their differences and live happily ever after. I HONESTLY believe that there are VERY VERY FEW people (women on MENA in particular) who want to see ANYONE's marriage fail.

I think that as long as two adults are equally informed and aware of the risks of the choices they make, then MORE POWER TO THEM... It's the kids and step-kids I feel so badly for.. and for the USC women (typically) who take much bigger risks (proportinately) and have fewer chances to recoup their losses, or start over again if a break-up occurs. (Remember that affadavit of support doesn't end if there is a divorce, it's citizenship for him, 10 years, or him leaving the USA forever to get you off the hook...)

I remember my Wali in Egypt reminding me over and over that (Egyptian) men don't value marriage that comes to them without putting forth great effort and sacrifice on their part. That I needed to make sure that my husband did both. This was difficult for me to do, being from an "equal partnership" culture. But I took his advice to heart and let my husband make those sacrifices and I'd highly recommend it to anyone involved in a MENA relationship, particularly with Egyptians. (don't know much about other NA cultures..)

Just my 2 piasters...

[Staashi 371]

This group is not tight knit. Its just like an A A meeting. You might not see yourself in any of the posts or situations yet, but keep coming back. I was SURE no one knew what they were talking about ...post arrival etc. They do. Keep coming back and posting and reading. Your fiancee is not here yet. You have not adjusted status.. There is alot more coming honey and some may be good and somethings bad and somethings in between... There is tons you can learn from the boards so keep reading and remember the real adventure begins when they get here...not while you are kissing and vacactioning over there. The real life starts when they come here, adjust , get their greencard etc.

You will benefit alot from the boards.. Hang in there

You took most of the words right out of my mouth... I see the AA Mtg. comparison all over the place... and as they say, Take what you like and leave the rest... Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.. God grant us ALL Serenity....

I guess it's hard for me to see red flags all over the place and know that I'm going to be considered negative or pessimistic (or mean) because I'm one who is willing to acknowledge their existence. It's much easier to pretend that I can't see them, but feels really swarmy if I did.

I've said 20 times since going on this "Visa Journey" that the process of getting the Visa is like being pregnant (has different stages, seems like it lasts forever, extremely uncomfortable, filled with horror stories of other's experiences, no two alike, and makes you want to eat alot and sleep alot and you never know exactly when it will end)... but when they get here, it's like having a new dependent to care for and guide and comfort and you have to change your way of doing things and sometimes you lose friends over it, and it can get even more expensive as the years go by... The next 18-21 years can make the first 9 months seem like a walk in the park... (should it last that long)...

Something I can never figure out is why American women think that relationships that aren't considered "average" or at least "likely to succeed" by American cultural standards, (mixed race, mixed culture, mixed religion, step-families, women significantly older than the men, or to a lesser degree, in the USA, women beyond child bearing age with men who have no children) and are considered, extremely improbable, laughable, or outright ridiculous by MENA standards, shouldn't be questioned by friends and family members of BOTH cultures...

Maybe they just don't know how they are perceived by MENA standards... I'm sure their SO isn't going to tell them, except to elicit sympathy from them (I loved you against all odds...)

Regardless of my suspicions I'll be the first one to cheer when a couple "beats the odds", "does it THEIR Way" and overcomes their differences and live happily ever after. I HONESTLY believe that there are VERY VERY FEW people (women on MENA in particular) who want to see ANYONE's marriage fail.

I think that as long as two adults are equally informed and aware of the risks of the choices they make, then MORE POWER TO THEM... It's the kids and step-kids I feel so badly for.. and for the USC women (typically) who take much bigger risks (proportinately) and have fewer chances to recoup their losses, or start over again if a break-up occurs. (Remember that affadavit of support doesn't end if there is a divorce, it's citizenship for him, 10 years, or him leaving the USA forever to get you off the hook...)

I remember my Wali in Egypt reminding me over and over that (Egyptian) men don't value marriage that comes to them without putting forth great effort and sacrifice on their part. That I needed to make sure that my husband did both. This was difficult for me to do, being from an "equal partnership" culture. But I took his advice to heart and let my husband make those sacrifices and I'd highly recommend it to anyone involved in a MENA relationship, particularly with Egyptians. (don't know much about other NA cultures..)

Just my 2 piasters...

Karamella, this has to be one of the most brilliant posts ever about the VJ. When you compared getting the visa to having a baby - amen, sister! Too, too true. Getting that visa and bringing your fiance/spouse to the US is like giving birth. After that, you have a dependent hanging off of you for many years to come. It takes time for them to adjust, not just status, but to adjust to life in the US - just like a child's learning process. It can be joy-filled, or fraught with hand-on-the-stove disasters. You rejoice when they learn to walk on their own aka drive in the USA, and you cringe when they forgot to make a credit card payment, because they thought they had a little more time.

Also, mixed marriages - in whatever shape or form are a dramatic challenge for two AMERICANS to deal with. So, to believe that it wouldn't inspire any questioning or judgment from loved ones, friends, or acquaintances is just plain ignorant. I always like to tell people that it was just 41 years ago when miscegenation laws were banned in the US - but, there are still places far and wide in the US that interracial dating and marriage are seen as the biggest crime against humanity. So, to expect that everyone is going to be just loving, accepting and tolerant of your relationship is a huge leap of faith.

Finally, I, too, have suspicions and doubts about certain people's relationships. Just as they probably have some about mine. But, I will say that I cheer for everyone. I want everyone who enters into this process to succeed, but I will also point out that if a CO or an IO points out that your fiance/spouse has some fraud issues or background red flags, take them to heart - their job is to not just protect who gets into America, but to protect YOU as an American citizen. They actually have your best interest at heart. I, too, had a private discussion with the CO at the USEM. She mentioned that my fiance had applied to visit a woman in North Carolina. I said, "Yes, he told me about her. But it wasn't a K1 visa - it was just a tourist visa and it was more than 2 and a half years ago." After a little more dialogue, she said that she would authorize the visa and he got it that day.

We have been to hell and back in our relationship - and it really is like a rollercoaster with so many ups and downs, and loopty-loops. But, I wouldn't change a thing about it. We have come so far and now that we have a baby on the way - there's a whole new joy in our lives. One thing that was really cool is on the day of my hubby's July 4th Naturalization, USCIS sent an IO to Tallahassee to preside over the event - he brought the Naturalization Certificates, took the Greencards, checked people in, etc. This IO was the same man who did our AOS interview. We couldn't believe it. We started talking to him and introduced ourselves as having had him as our IO. He said, "I'm sorry I don't remember you two, but we have so many couples. I'm just so excited to be here with you two today on such an important occasion. It makes me feel so good to know that I was a big part of your immigration life." He mentioned that this is very rare for him, as he hardly ever has to go into the field for these ceremonies, but the other person was on holiday. So it was quite ironic. He congratulated us on making it this far and told my husband he was very proud of him. It was a tremendous feeling to have him there - kind of like he was rooting my husband on. We even took a picture with him after the ceremony. It meant something.

I wish you all the success that we had with the immigration process. It is long and can make you weary, but if the love is real and the relationship worth fighting for, then dammit, you will make it.

[livelong_prosper 0]

It is long and can make you weary, but if the love is real and the relationship worth fighting for, then dammit, you will make it.

Amen sister!