green card marriages, ladies beware

[Staashi 371]

Perhaps someone could put together a little list "your partner might be using you for a green card if..." with a full disclaimer that every case is unique and having some of the symptoms is not necessarily a diagnosis of being-used-itis.

For the newbies, there are many here who have happy, healthy, long term relationships with MENA men. And there are those who don't. And that's that.

if your partner is _____________, he or she might be using you for a green card.

and maybe it can be a routine for jeff foxworthy?

That works. But I think it works for all Regions

I think the routine for Bill Engvall is more fitting here

OMG - Here's your sign!

Can't you see him as a consular officer doing interviews?

Bill Engvall - "So, tell me Mr. Munir Abu-Abbas, in what language do you and your fiance Michelle Marie Nelson speak in when you are together?"

Mr. Abu-Abbas - "Yellow"

Bill Engvall - "Here's your sign."

Edited January 6, 2009 by Staashi

[Tunisia216 2]

Perhaps someone could put together a little list "your partner might be using you for a green card if..." with a full disclaimer that every case is unique and having some of the symptoms is not necessarily a diagnosis of being-used-itis.

For the newbies, there are many here who have happy, healthy, long term relationships with MENA men. And there are those who don't. And that's that.

if your partner is _____________, he or she might be using you for a green card.

and maybe it can be a routine for jeff foxworthy?

That works. But I think it works for all Regions

I think the routine for Bill Engvall is more fitting here

OMG - Here's your sign!

Can't you see him as a consular officer doing interviews?

Bill Engvall - "So, tell me Mr. Munir Abu-Abbas, in what language do you and your fiance Michelle Marie Nelson speak in when you are together?"

Mr. AbuAbba - "Yellow"

Bill Engvall - "Here's your sign."

Sounds like the guy that interviewed next to Jihed in Tunis. I swear Jihed was like WTH is he even doing here? I agree with Bill some people should be forced to wear signs!

[Staashi 371]

Perhaps someone could put together a little list "your partner might be using you for a green card if..." with a full disclaimer that every case is unique and having some of the symptoms is not necessarily a diagnosis of being-used-itis.

For the newbies, there are many here who have happy, healthy, long term relationships with MENA men. And there are those who don't. And that's that.

if your partner is _____________, he or she might be using you for a green card.

and maybe it can be a routine for jeff foxworthy?

That works. But I think it works for all Regions

I think the routine for Bill Engvall is more fitting here

OMG - Here's your sign!

Can't you see him as a consular officer doing interviews?

Bill Engvall - "So, tell me Mr. Munir Abu-Abbas, in what language do you and your fiance Michelle Marie Nelson speak in when you are together?"

Mr. AbuAbba - "Yellow"

Bill Engvall - "Here's your sign."

Sounds like the guy that interviewed next to Jihed in Tunis. I swear Jihed was like WTH is he even doing here? I agree with Bill some people should be forced to wear signs!

Yes, they would make the world so much easier. And don't get me wrong, this isn't just in MENA USEMs - it happens in all of them.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I am not trying to inflame this topic but I am sincerely curious about this and I am asking with no disrespect, simply a curiousity....

Why does it seem the majority of the USC women filing for foreign men choose middle eastern men? I see a lot of these women choose Muslim men and even become Muslim themselves. Is there a reason for this? I know nothing about the religion or lifestyle (only heard the bad stuff of course) so I would honestly like to know...what is the compelling draw?

While I am not marrying a Muslim or a middle-eastern man, I am very interested in women's issues and a huge supporter of women's rights and would like to hear the U.S. women's perspective on this. :-)

Thanks

Bug

As for myself, I didn't choose a middle eastern man. I was minding my own business on an online game and we met. I wasn't in a chat room, skype, myspace, marriage site, etc looking for ANY man, it just happened. I won't become Muslims, as I wasn't when he met me and we discussed this and we accept each other for who we were when we met.

I read these stories and don't see any red flags as of yet, but that doesn't mean I won't get used. I would like to think i'm smart enough to catch something out of the ordinary. I think in my case only, I must read and be careful to not let what I read, ruin what might be the best thing ever in my life. At the same time, I need to keep a guard up as I would with any man in my life. As women, it doesn't hurt us to have a radar going when dealing with any male, no matter where he comes from.

With all these stories i've been reading, I wonder how the couples met.. was it in chat rooms, skype, dating sites, myspace, facebook, online games. I can tell you this, I don't know at the times someone would just call me on skype, that I didn't even know. Mohammed told me, never to answer them, as all know if a guy you don't know suddenly skypes you.. then he's up to no good. be that visa or cc fraud. lol

If I were you, I would read and pay very close attention to the people on these boards and not compare your situation to theirs. No one should infer things into their situation but the people here can be a very good resource for you down the road.

You cannot presume to understand an entirely different culture and your husbands long term plans for you and your marriage without taking into account the mena perception that often marriage with an american is a means to an end.

Don t discount the relationships on here.. You will find that MANY were messaged out of the blue on an online game. Or doing nothing.. Or not on dating sites

Its like fishing. You can sit in many parts of a lake to catch a fish, in a boat, on a dock, sitting on the sand etc

If a guy is going online to find a foreign wife to get the hell out of his country and somewhere better, he will fish the entire lake. Not saying this is your case but it doesnt matter how you met exactly . Its his intent before during and after the marriage and his attitude towards the foreverness and permanancy of the marriage in general

If I were you, i'd read and pay very close attention to exactly what I said, instead of assuming you know what I meant. No where did I say I was comparing my situation to anothers. What is it with the MENA group that most everything I say is taken the wrong way? Why do most assume I discount what others are saying and not learning from it? I heard this is a great support group of ladies, but i'm seeing otherwise. If this is such a great group, then why get defensive and start on me for my opinions, as if it makes you feel good because you put a newbie in her place?

As for how people met, no harm in my wondering how most with a MENA SO got to know each other. I know a few met on an online game, i've read about it on VJ.

There's also no harm in my saying I don't see red flag's yet in our relationship. It would seem I actually am reading and paying very close attention to the people on these boards. Isn't that the purpose of someone posting, is for others to read and pay close attention to their own relationship for a red flag?

With that said, I have something else to say.. Since I joined the MENA group I have met quite a few ladies that are wonderful. Some are just like me and scared to post for what is happening to me right now. I can't say a thing without being talked down to and I wonder how i'm to learn or get help from a forum, when treated like this? I haven't smarted off at anyone or posted anything to my knowledge, that would cause others to immediately dislike me.

I guess it's time for me to realize I truly don't belong here as i'm not fitting in with the tight knit group that seems to be here. Before you start posting nasty comments to my post, don't waste your time, as I won't be coming back to see what else you guys think of me. Most can pat their backs as they did what they set out to do.. run a newbie away.

This group is not tight knit. Its just like an A A meeting. You might not see yourself in any of the posts or situations yet, but keep coming back. I was SURE no one knew what they were talking about ...post arrival etc. They do. Keep coming back and posting and reading. Your fiancee is not here yet. You have not adjusted status.. There is alot more coming honey and some may be good and somethings bad and somethings in between... There is tons you can learn from the boards so keep reading and remember the real adventure begins when they get here...not while you are kissing and vacactioning over there. The real life starts when they come here, adjust , get their greencard etc.

You will benefit alot from the boards.. Hang in there

[Nothing1234 2]

Incoming....

[Tunisia216 2]

Incoming....

What are you throwing at me diablo?

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Hi, Im Lisa and Im an arabolic

[RAKASA 0]

Incoming....

and possibly OUTGOING......

[Nothing1234 2]

Incoming....

and possibly OUTGOING......

Incoming....

What are you throwing at me diablo?

You already know...shhh!

Hi, Im Lisa and Im an arabolic

And we all say: Welcome Lisa!

[Nagishkaw 510]

Welcome, Lisa.

[star_dragon 0]

I will say one thing - in the beginning, I was scared to post too. I lurked for awhile. Yes, some people on here scare the hell out of me.... But, if there's anything I've learned it's that everyone here WILL know what you're going through, and if the criticism and advice or whatever bothers you HERE.....then you're not anywhere near ready for the cruel azz world out there of people who are going to try to bring you down because of your MENA marriage.

A friend (actually, ex-friend now....sigh) warned me that if I was going to go through with this, then I'd better develop a thick skin. And she's right........

[Y's_habibitk 2]

I'll keep coming back until i "identify"

ok, i'll stop the AA jokes now

[childress_london 3]

It was very interesting how my husband and I met. My family and I all had profiles on Yahoo 360. As it goes with networking, my sister added a friend who had my husband on his friend's list. She thought Hesam was cute, so she added him as a friend too. Then she posted a comment on my profile telling me to check him out because he was cute. So I did and I said hello. He said hello back and the rest is history, as they say...

[Nothing1234 2]

I'll keep coming back until i "identify"

ok, i'll stop the AA jokes now

I was on a roll w/ you...

[Muh and me 18]

I will say one thing - in the beginning, I was scared to post too. I lurked for awhile. Yes, some people on here scare the hell out of me.... But, if there's anything I've learned it's that everyone here WILL know what you're going through, and if the criticism and advice or whatever bothers you HERE.....then you're not anywhere near ready for the cruel azz world out there of people who are going to try to bring you down because of your MENA marriage.

A friend (actually, ex-friend now....sigh) warned me that if I was going to go through with this, then I'd better develop a thick skin. And she's right........

I agree a thick skin is needed here. i did not have one at first but its growing on me.