green card marriages, ladies beware

[Heartland 0]

Hello Ladies,

I want to talk to you about something serious... Internet dating. I have made many friends from on here...MANY! Out of all these marriages from the middle eastern marriages I know of ONE that is real. Where the man did not marry for the green card. I know I know I said, oh my husband didnt do that!!! But trust me , he did.

Please think twice before marriage.

I am filing for bankruptcy, I am losing my house, I almost lost my children... God think twice!!!!!

I pray that any of you who even question ONCE that he may be marrying for the wrong reasons... think about it. Marriages where they marry an older woman is a HUGE red flag. Sorry ladies, but it is true.

Good luck

[tnh9479 1]

I am sorry to hear about the issues in your life Heartland. I wish you a better 2009!

As for what you write, I do think there is a truth to it. I am sure it will open up a can of worms, though.

[Heartland 0]

Honestly I hope it does, out of the woman who married at the same time I have... and trust me there was alot.... all but one married to get here and was used...

if it wakes one woman up and starts them talking...im all for it

I am sorry to hear about the issues in your life Heartland. I wish you a better 2009!

As for what you write, I do think there is a truth to it. I am sure it will open up a can of worms, though.

[merijan 0]

Honestly I hope it does, out of the woman who married at the same time I have... and trust me there was alot.... all but one married to get here and was used...

if it wakes one woman up and starts them talking...im all for it

I am sorry to hear about the issues in your life Heartland. I wish you a better 2009!

As for what you write, I do think there is a truth to it. I am sure it will open up a can of worms, though.

I think that it is a terrible thing for men to do that. I am so sorry for your situation.

No doubt there will be some that do that. However there are also many here on visa journey that have legitimate marriages. But I do think you have the right to warn others because it can happen and people need to look for the signs and be aware.Fortunetly my husband is sincere and honest. However I did have my friend who is married to a Pakistani check him out a little before I continued a relationship with him. And the time we took , almost three years, allowed us to really get to know each other, and the struggle to be together is what keeps us strong when things get rough between us (normal stuff all marriages go through).

Again I feel bad for what happened to you, please stay strong for your kids.

[Nothing1234 2]

I'm very sorry for what you are going through. You have every right to warn others especially if people see signs...they need to think twice.

I don't think anyone can say for sure what their future may be. Whether with in a greencard situation or not....the greencard makes it more enticing for those that commit fraud, however, I know many folks married to Americans that are going thru divorces after 1 or 2 years of marriage and a few that have filed for bankruptcy because of divorce or alimony, etc. Many of them are still in shock how it happened, when it happened or how fast.

Liars are liars, cheaters are cheaters....no matter where they are from.

Wishing you blessings and true happiness in the future!

Edited January 2, 2009 by Nawal

[morocco4ever 63]

I am sorry for what you have gone through, but I don't see what you will achieve by posting this warning. Most everyone here is aware of the risk. It's not like your post is going to make us say "Oh my God, I never even thought about that!". It has been discussed here before, and it will be discussed again. There are women that have been used, there will be more. By the time a woman is on Visa Journey they have already made up their mind about it, and I doubt that yet another warning is going to change their mind that easily.

Oh and for the record you can say that you know of 2 real marriages now. My husband and I have an age difference. He has an IR1 GC, and doesn't need to prove anything to anybody to keep it. He could walk away scott free and keep his GC. But yet he is right now sitting next to me watching a movie. I love him dearly, and I know he loves me. I know of at least 3 others that are also in valid marriages, but I would choose not to speak for them. I do encourage everyone to tell their own personal stories. And I am speaking about the ones that are like me, done with the visa process, nothing more to prove, and they are still together, as well as the ones that have been used.

Is there visa fraud? Yes. Does this apply to everyone that marries a foreigner? No. Ultimately we are responsible to find out long before we have reached this stage in the relationship. If he was a very good actor, and fooled us, then it is in God's hands to ensure that he pays the price for this horrible deed.

I do wish you the best of luck for your future. We all deserve to find happiness.

[chaishai 1]

Hello Ladies,

I want to talk to you about something serious... Internet dating. I have made many friends from on here...MANY! Out of all these marriages from the middle eastern marriages I know of ONE that is real. Where the man did not marry for the green card. I know I know I said, oh my husband didnt do that!!! But trust me , he did.

Please think twice before marriage.

I am filing for bankruptcy, I am losing my house, I almost lost my children... God think twice!!!!!

I pray that any of you who even question ONCE that he may be marrying for the wrong reasons... think about it. Marriages where they marry an older woman is a HUGE red flag. Sorry ladies, but it is true.

Good luck

Noone is going to want to hear this, everyone is going to feel compelled now to give 100 reasons why this doesnt apply to them, but I still think you are right in sharing your story and I really just am posting to this to say that I am so sorry this happened to you and I really hope that you can quickly recover from your financial troubles and thank G-D you have your children, hug them tight, its really all you need....

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Thank you for sharing your story. It takes courage to share something so intimate for the sake of saving someone else the heartache and pain. Sharing helps ease the pain. I am glad to see that you are on to the next step.

Hello Ladies,

I want to talk to you about something serious... Internet dating. I have made many friends from on here...MANY! Out of all these marriages from the middle eastern marriages I know of ONE that is real. Where the man did not marry for the green card. I know I know I said, oh my husband didnt do that!!! But trust me , he did.

Please think twice before marriage.

I am filing for bankruptcy, I am losing my house, I almost lost my children... God think twice!!!!!

I pray that any of you who even question ONCE that he may be marrying for the wrong reasons... think about it. Marriages where they marry an older woman is a HUGE red flag. Sorry ladies, but it is true.

Good luck

[desert_fox 32]

Hello Ladies,

I want to talk to you about something serious... Internet dating. I have made many friends from on here...MANY! Out of all these marriages from the middle eastern marriages I know of ONE that is real. Where the man did not marry for the green card. I know I know I said, oh my husband didnt do that!!! But trust me , he did.

Please think twice before marriage.

I am filing for bankruptcy, I am losing my house, I almost lost my children... God think twice!!!!!

I pray that any of you who even question ONCE that he may be marrying for the wrong reasons... think about it. Marriages where they marry an older woman is a HUGE red flag. Sorry ladies, but it is true.

Good luck

Certainly would not apply to anyone on V-J, as their relationships are different.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Very sorry to hear this. I hope that you and your children can recover and continue to enjoy life

[doodlebugg 10]

I'm very sorry to hear about this but I do hope you count my marriage as one that is still around since we got the visa around the same time you did.

I'm also facing losing my home though it has absolutlely nothing to do wtih my husband. My ex who was giving me child support has just about gone out of business so I no longer get child support from him. It's a very scarey thing to go through and a lot of people are in bad times due to the economy but you will pull through if you're strong and lean on family and friends.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Im so sorry this happened to you. It shouldnt happen to anyone, but yet it does. Keep your head up, and stay true to yourself. Keep being a strong woman no matter what.

[Imua 0]

Hanging in there should be here, hope she is OK...

I remember her saying that she also knows a lot of MENA couples and also warns people that a lot are fraudulent, but at the same time she also said she knows of many couples where the man is sincere and has stayed after getting the GC, even if the woman is older(too old to have kids).

I have had these issues come up time and time again in my mind and ultimately it is just my own insecurities speaking - if I were to walk away at this point I would never know if he was for real and possibly give up the best man I could ever love... yes he is not MENA, we did not meet on the Net but our relationship has a similar age gap and is going against cultural norms... still he has never given me reason to doubt him and his family is very accepting of me - of course they could all be in on the scam but once you start thinking that way you might as well never take a chance on anything until you die without ever really having lived. His intentions could be real and my constant suspicion could be the thing that pushes him away-self-fulfilling prophecy. I have had a lot of 'well-meaning' people including my own grandmother telling me he is only out for a GC without ever meeting him. Should I really listen to them - I don't think so.

[~Jackie~ 30]

Oh darling, how I wish I could give you a big hug.

I know what you are feeling. I know what you are going thru. I know the doubts and question and emotions you have. Know this, life does and will go on. The pain fades but the memory remains.

It was good to see you post. I know how hard it is to read VJ after the breakup. You are brave for posting, and I appreciate it. Not all here want to read your reality and honesty, but I for one am glad you posted.

Jackie

wishing you a successful 2009

Edited January 2, 2009 by just_Jackie

[nunyab 0]

I hate seeing anyone break up i am sorry for this and i pray you will continue to be strong. It sounds like you did the right thing in the end for your kids.... as mother's we can never lose site of this.

Take care and I am not going to give you a reason that mine will make it.....in the end it's up to Allah what happens it's up to us how we handle it... take care of your self and your kids that is what matters most.

~Rajaa