~Off Topic Thread 2009~

[StillThePrettiest 3]

I wouldn't like to condone any iffy activity but the job that I had offered accepted my USCIS email as evidence I was authorized to work. And they needed the number on the card - well should you need it, it's the same as the receipt number for the EAD - MSCxxxxxxxxxxxx whatever.

Anyway, so glad for you. I just logged in here now to see if there was any word from you.

thank you

thanks also for the tip re the jobs, and the number... I haven't got an email from USCIS though, so so far nothing in writing

however, the place I've been volunteering is trying to see if they can take me on in a paid position - it's a non-profit so they need a funder for it - so I'm happy to wait a week or two to see what they come up with... by the time they're ready to say 'yea' or 'nay' I should have the card in hand

thanks again; it was a lifesaver

one Guinness-flavoured pizza coming up

[Krikit 1,164]

Okay, I haven't been current with this thread in forever so please forgive if this has already been posted. Just had a good laugh from something my sister sent......

Do you ever worry about the NHS at all ? You should - these are sentences actually typed by medical secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow.....

1. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
26. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
27. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.
28. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
29. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
30. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
31. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job

    as a stock broker instead.

32. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

I howled at 17, 20 & 21.

[*julez* 124]

Krikit, those were hilarious! I am putting them in an email for my husband, as I am sure he'll find them funny too!

[Stinky Monkey 1]

Okay, I haven't been current with this thread in forever so please forgive if this has already been posted. Just had a good laugh from something my sister sent......

Do you ever worry about the NHS at all ? You should - these are sentences actually typed by medical secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow.....

1. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
26. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
27. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.
28. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
29. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
30. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
31. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job

    as a stock broker instead.

32. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

I howled at 17, 20 & 21.

CLASSIC

[*julez* 124]

I really liked #s 25 & 28.

[Krikit 1,164]

I really liked #s 25 & 28.

[VisaJourneyLady 33]

Poiteen,

Is that Croagh Patrick? I'm still sore 6 years after climbing that bad boy!!! I'm from the Fermanagh/Lietrim border so we were only 1.5 hours from Westport.

R

Tis Croagh Patrick indeed. I've only got to the top once, and the bloody church was closed when I got there. I'm from Mayo, so not too far for me either.

[StillThePrettiest 3]

did you get there by Special Delivery?

[*Snowdrop* 604]

Just have to say how much I love 'Shameless' again - gave hubby the full box set for Christmas and we have been watching a few episodes every night - I'd forgotten how good it was.

The husband loves it - he's practising saying things like bog roll, par'y and sca''er.