My husband has been having 2 online affairs -

[Ling Ling 22]

You appear to be delusional.

You seriously need to look into a mirror before you make statements like that.

Avoid reality much?

Do you have issues with everyone that sees things different than you? Perhaps you are the one that is avoiding reality. Have you ever been cheated on? Have you ever cheated?

As I said before, I have no issue what so ever with your opinion differing from mine. My issue is with you saying that I "said" things which I did not.

Did you say, on the topic of forgiving, that "it is easy as that"? I asked you that before and you ignored the question.

YOU came into this thread in post #105 attacking that very statement (where my name is clearly in your quote),therefore you very well know I made that statement.

I replied to you in post #112, and did not attack you or your opinion.

YOU responded in post #115 again attacking me, and then further insinuation words and ideas that I did not state.

When I asked you NOT to twist my views, then you personally attack me again.

Is any of this ringing a bell?

Have a look at the thread again, and maybe it will.

you tell me that you were replying to my posts, but I am attacking you, yet you called me delusional and that I have a problem with reality. Am I twisting those words as well?

NO, I called you delusional when you continue to misconstrue my posts, and persist with your aggressiveness toward me personally.

The facts of the thread are quite clear. Have a look back and tell me who made it personal.

[Ban Hammer 13,551]

[morocco4ever 63]

You appear to be delusional.

You seriously need to look into a mirror before you make statements like that.

Avoid reality much?

Do you have issues with everyone that sees things different than you? Perhaps you are the one that is avoiding reality. Have you ever been cheated on? Have you ever cheated?

As I said before, I have no issue what so ever with your opinion differing from mine. My issue is with you saying that I "said" things which I did not.

Did you say, on the topic of forgiving, that "it is easy as that"? I asked you that before and you ignored the question.

YOU came into this thread in post #105 attacking that very statement (where my name is clearly in your quote),therefore you very well know I made that statement.

I replied to you in post #112, and did not attack you or your opinion.

YOU responded in post #115 again attacking me, and then further insinuation words and ideas that I did not state.

When I asked you NOT to twist my views, then you personally attack me again.

Is any of this ringing a bell?

Have a look at the thread again, and maybe it will.

you tell me that you were replying to my posts, but I am attacking you, yet you called me delusional and that I have a problem with reality. Am I twisting those words as well?

NO, I called you delusional when you continue to misconstrue my posts, and persist with your aggressiveness toward me personally.

The facts of the thread are quite clear. Have a look back and tell me who made it personal.

What you view as making personal attacks is merely arguing a point. You may have some sort of mental disorder. Perhaps you should seek medical help with this. I'm done.

[morocco4ever 63]

And yes, now THAT was a personal attack, so get it straight.

[KimandRuss 0]

Many TOS violations here but I am hoping that by stopping with the personal attacks we can leave this thread open for the benefit of supporting the OP.

please, or the thread will have to be closed and further action taken.

Thanks for your cooperation.

[Ban Hammer 13,551]

Many TOS violations here but I am hoping that by stopping with the personal attacks we can leave this thread open for the benefit of supporting the OP.

please, or the thread will have to be closed and further action taken.

Thanks for your cooperation.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

you just love stirring #######, don'tcha????

[Ban Hammer 13,551]

you just love stirring #######, don'tcha????

that's for the reading impaired, who can only read sign language

[perfect 39]

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. It is gut-wrenching and undermines the trust you had and can make you question everything about your marriage and its future and how or even whether you can regain any trust. I know. I've been in the same situation the last year.

My husband was having emotional affairs with three women over three months in emails, and actually got as far as meeting each of them for lunch or dinner and with one of them - he "let" her kiss him.

I confronted him with the evidence. I printed all the emails. Told him I knew about the meetings and that I had confronted two of the women. He doesn't think he did anything wrong even now because he didn't have sex with them. He doesn't see that he betrayed me, showed a blatant lack of respect for me and our marriage or that he created a lack of trust - he sees it as me not being able to be trusted because I looked at his emails and that I have problems with insecurity, jealousy and being overly sensitive and supicious!!!

I'm having a really hard time with this mainly because he doesn't accept that it was wrong, so in that sense at least your husband is apparently taking steps to right his wrong. However, I would respectfully point out that you need to be sure that he is doing what he says he is doing. My husband has just become better at hiding things so I can't get to them. He has multiple new email addresses and/or has changed the passwords so I can't check them. Mostly, instead of using the home computer he uses his work computer and whereas he used to work on his work laptop at home all the time, now he hardly does and when he does he logs out straight away so I can't access anything.

So - just be conscious that just because he says he has changed doesn't mean he has. YOU make sure you're happy with what you see and hear and feel. Don't let him BS you. I have been on this rollercoaster now for almost a year and believe me - it is no easier than the day I found the first emails. In fact I spent all of this weekend in tears because I just don't see any change in his behavior or attitude and can't see an end to my not being able to trust him. The fact that he thinks it's all my problem and that he has done nothing to contribute to this - he sees no need to change. You're his wife - if your gut tells you something, there's a high chance your gut is right. I sincerely, hope for you that this works out in whatever way is best for you and hope that his efforts to change and be what you need him to be are sincere and not a facade.

Best wishes.

[MsZ 6]

I hope you're divorcing him, Perfect. He's got a real problem and it will only lead to sex at some point. He's just getting up the nerve to go further.

[Old Dominion 26]

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. It is gut-wrenching and undermines the trust you had and can make you question everything about your marriage and its future and how or even whether you can regain any trust. I know. I've been in the same situation the last year.

My husband was having emotional affairs with three women over three months in emails, and actually got as far as meeting each of them for lunch or dinner and with one of them - he "let" her kiss him.

I confronted him with the evidence. I printed all the emails. Told him I knew about the meetings and that I had confronted two of the women. He doesn't think he did anything wrong even now because he didn't have sex with them. He doesn't see that he betrayed me, showed a blatant lack of respect for me and our marriage or that he created a lack of trust - he sees it as me not being able to be trusted because I looked at his emails and that I have problems with insecurity, jealousy and being overly sensitive and supicious!!!

I'm having a really hard time with this mainly because he doesn't accept that it was wrong, so in that sense at least your husband is apparently taking steps to right his wrong. However, I would respectfully point out that you need to be sure that he is doing what he says he is doing. My husband has just become better at hiding things so I can't get to them. He has multiple new email addresses and/or has changed the passwords so I can't check them. Mostly, instead of using the home computer he uses his work computer and whereas he used to work on his work laptop at home all the time, now he hardly does and when he does he logs out straight away so I can't access anything.

So - just be conscious that just because he says he has changed doesn't mean he has. YOU make sure you're happy with what you see and hear and feel. Don't let him BS you. I have been on this rollercoaster now for almost a year and believe me - it is no easier than the day I found the first emails. In fact I spent all of this weekend in tears because I just don't see any change in his behavior or attitude and can't see an end to my not being able to trust him. The fact that he thinks it's all my problem and that he has done nothing to contribute to this - he sees no need to change. You're his wife - if your gut tells you something, there's a high chance your gut is right. I sincerely, hope for you that this works out in whatever way is best for you and hope that his efforts to change and be what you need him to be are sincere and not a facade.

Best wishes.

Since he did not apologize, and indeed has gone further underground in his dalliances, what is the solution here? You are not being overly sensitive -- and you have every right to feel insecure about your marriage. The OP has no good reason now to feel insecure, but in your husband's case I wonder what his boundaries are? A good counselor can help you handle this.

[perfect 39]

He doesn't "do" counselling. Remember - to seek help you have to admit you have a problem and he doesn't think he has any problems - the problems are all mine!!

His boundaries are very skewed. He thinks he should be able to say or do anything as long as he doesn't actually have sex, which in my book is NOT ok.

he has voiced that in his mind we have not been having any kind of serious problems in our marriage - it's all in my perception of events which he says I took completely out of context.... I believe from my research that he suffers from narcissistic personality disorder - he fits every single criteria...

[Ling Ling 22]

He doesn't "do" counselling. Remember - to seek help you have to admit you have a problem and he doesn't think he has any problems - the problems are all mine!!

His boundaries are very skewed. He thinks he should be able to say or do anything as long as he doesn't actually have sex, which in my book is NOT ok.

he has voiced that in his mind we have not been having any kind of serious problems in our marriage - it's all in my perception of events which he says I took completely out of context.... I believe from my research that he suffers from narcissistic personality disorder - he fits every single criteria...

No apology, no signs of remorse, blaming YOU for snooping...those are pretty serious signs that he's not likely to change....or as someone else said, gearing up for the next phase. Safe driving during a storm sometimes means pulling off the road, but it always means looking ahead and having an exit strategy.

Good luck.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Dear God,

Please let this thread die.

kthxbai.

[Ling Ling 22]

Dear God,

Please let this thread die.

kthxbai.

It's just getting started