Getting Married Too Young

[one...two...tree 2,762]

There now have been a few threads in the regional forums regarding very young fiancees and USC unaware of the extra hurdles they have to go through because of it.

Your thoughts on marrying too young - do you believe in such a thing? If so, at what age or stage in someone's life makes them more prepared for marriage?

[Caladan 19]

I think age isn't as important as life-stage. A nineteen-year-old who is out living on her own, working, paying bills (or whatever proxy for adulthood we use) or serving in the military is markedly different from a nineteen-year-old who is just about to finish high school, living at home, etc.

That said, age is often a useful proxy for experience. And I'm now at the age where a fair number of people I know who married young (20, 21, 22) are now divorcing. Part of it is that sometimes the marriages were rushed (religious, no sex before marriage in these cases meant ill-thought-out marriage), and sometimes it's just that love wasn't enough and when the spark faded, the people found they had nothing in common.

[MrsAmera 41]

I dunno I was 21 when I got married, to some people that was young, but I had lived by myself for 3 years at that point, traveled around the world and lived in 2 other countries alone. I also had a young child. Now put next to some of my HS and college friends, I was a lot more mature and ready than they would have been. For some people they are not ready to handle the "married life" at the age I was, however for others they are. Depends a lot more I think on life experience and expectations.

[Not Available 0]

I think its depends more on maturity than age.

I had a friend that had been living on her own for 3 years, paying her own bills yadda yadda and got married at 19.

My sister in law was living at home, asking Mommy and Daddy for money all the time, hung out with 16 year olds, was just overall immature and got married at 19. I thought she was too young, but I didn't think my friend was.

[jundp 191]

I would agree with the age-maturity issue, but I still think 18, 19 is too young. There is too much in life to experience on your own before committing to another person, IMHO. Why rush into something especially with someone from an entirely different generation? The age disparity is often too much too overcome.

Of course there are exceptions.

[Niels Bohr 72]

I agree with Caladan.

[DEDixon 39]

So many possibilities really and very difficult to package any marriage into a box. All marriages are individual experiences so although some are similar, no marriage is exactly the same as another.

Marriages that make me wonder: Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown... not a young, old thing, but either could have made it on their own long ago. They eventually broke up. I just wonder what set of dynamics kept them together. I think it is more complicated that simply to say they loved each other.

As also wonder to myself when I see powerful, wealthy, young women who have way older husbands. You really can only wonder, because many dynamics at work in a marriage. I would never believe the secret to a successful marriage no matter the age is explained, summed up, with just a few words, because to me, the secret behind a successful marriage is a very broad topic. Sure, we can say why we love and stay with our spouses in a few words, but I think there is a lot that is at work in a relationship and many of those little things just don't make it into the reason for a successful marriage.

[Jasman0717 9]

I got married too young 3 times

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I got married too young 3 times

[spookyturtle 9,466]

I got married too young 3 times

[*Robert* 2]

I say after 25, and closer to 30; after each individual has learned to live on their own, and support themselves.

[spookyturtle 9,466]

I say wait until your fify or so. By then you'll be done sowing your wild oats.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I say wait until your fify or so. By then you'll be done sowing your wild oats.

eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[Ban Hammer 13,703]

I say wait until your fify or so. By then you'll be done sowing your wild oats.

unless you're bosco.

[*Robert* 2]

I say wait until your fify or so. By then you'll be done sowing your wild oats.

and finished sowing anything else either!!! :lol: